Apocalypse Nigh

So I was watching some E3 coverage this morning. It's a trade show ostensibly about video games. Although one might be forgiven for thinking it was actually about Facetube, Justin Bieber and football, because that's all I saw.
Oh well maybe I just missed the video games part. Anyway you came here for blog reviews so let's get to it.Our first topic of discourse has to be YOUR FUCKING CHOICE IN LAYOUTS. Dark gray microfont on light gray background. If bad design was a capital offense you'd be dead.
I am currently zoomed in 400% and it is just now tolerable to read. You're bringing my blood to a boil already and I haven't even read word one.

And Gail asked me today, completely serious; if I thought her son Noah was gay. He's like a little over a year old.
He's growing up in a world where a man can't play a video game without first consulting Facetube and listening to Justin Bieber. I'd say it's to his advantage to be homosexual.

I am at work and some jackass in my general area is playing jazz music! While I do not care for that type of music I know that other people do so, up to a point, I can deal with it. BUT! It is going on hour three of the nonstop jazz festival and I am starting to feel like I am waiting in a doctor's office waiting room forever and ever and ever and I may kill whoever is doing it!

I turned on Pandora radio, turned on Pitbull radio,

>bitching about jazz
>listens to that faggot Pitbull
What the fuck?

I am seriously going to snap! This is torture! Psychological warfare, man! This is totally unacceptable! I am losing my fucking shit here!

Losing your shit because you can't listen to FUCKING PITBULL.
I'd punch that bald motherfucker square in his fucking cue ball head. That's what I think of his "gangsta" status.
Will he just show up when I get off of work, all like "how was work today? What'd you do?" Because I get enough of that from my sits-at-home-all-day-and-does-nothing-bu
t-play-video-games-then-wants-to-live-vicariously-through-me brother.


Who the fuck wants to live vicariously through you? Whatever he just did in fucking Call of Duty was fifteen more times interesting than your entire existence.
Oh I just remembered something that fucking pissed me off about Pitbull. At one point I was listening to one of his songs on the radio (I guess the dial fell off or something) and it was sometime between contemplating crashing into a telephone pole or taking this obnoxious bint on a cellphone in another car with me that I heard it:
"I'll make a film like Albert Hitchcock"
ALBERT HITCHCOCK.ALBERT.
You dumb motherfucker.

Did that! Hated my name, with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, and so I changed it to Riley.

You're doing it way wrong. I guarantee whatever your name was before was far less shit than Riley.

I work with this guy, "Alex", who seems to think that since I like girls and he likes girls this somehow makes me "one of the guys" and he can tell me the random crazy things he would tell "one of the guys".

Well you certainly bitch like any other girl.BA HA HA HA HA HA

Why in the hell would he think that I do? Why would he talk to me about this shit?

I've seen your stupid, fat, ugly face. You have the air of someone approachable. You probably make yourself overly available, too. Here's what you need to do, okay. Just practice this face:and everyone will leave you alone.

I know that I am being all aloof and distant and odd around Gail now but I just don't much care. It's odd, it feels odd, and I don't like it.

"I don't care"
"I don't like it."
...
So now I'm about to "view content that may not be appropriate for minors" and somehow I get the feeling I'm in for disappointment.
OH MY GOD YES I AM OLDER THAN 14 COME THE FUCK ON.
Also 14 year olds are still minors but whatever.

It's the second time we made out, the first time we had sex, and I am really disappointed in myself for letting it go so far.

SEX OH NOOOOOOOOOO TWO GIRLS KISSING WHAT DO I DOOOOOOO NOOOOOW?
And her listed mood is "disappointed".
No I think that's supposed to be and your listed mood has to be "cunty" or something.
More content not appropriate for minors.

I may be retarded and not know it.

I believe it.
Oh look they just announced the Xbox is now an exercise machine like the Wii.
I love video games.
Oh they're releasing a redesigned Xbox so it's sleeker when it red rings.
Maaaaarvelous.
Anyway this is the worst fucking E3 ever and it fits because this is the worst fucking blog ever.
I know that doesn't make a lot of sense but just roll with it.