Twitter is already pretty loud so faced with the idea of an even louder Twitter is pretty embarrassing for everyone involved, actually. Fortunately for everyone reading this, though, I have found the one person who has yet to discover LoudTwitter. Behold: Jack the pussy.
First thing he wants to do is talk about his feelings and I can already see an "all guys with blogs are gay" tag going in the tags.
I've thought about taking a class in filmmaking, but my friends tell me it's not what I'll like. One of them said that he dropped out of one because it didn't go in depth on what makes good film,
If you need to take a class to tell you what makes a good movie I don't think you're looking at a future in film making.
There's this thing-- and after reading Livejournal you might be forgiven for thinking this doesn't exist-- called creativity, and you can use this to make things from your brain reality, and you don't even need a college to tell you what to do.
Sometimes, very rarely, an individual will have what they call "genius" and his or her ideas are especially good or inspired.
One of my guy friends had the nerve to say, "Oh come on, it's not that bad. If dudes had periods we wouldn't be complaining."
I don't know if I had blood pouring out of my dick I might be complaining.
I mean, it has never happened (and I hope it never does) but if it did I'd at least be a little concerned.
"YOU KNOW WHAT MOTHERFUCKER? IF MEN HAD PERIODS THE SUICIDE RATE WOULD SKYROCKET OUT OF YOUR ASSES BECAUSE NONE OF YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT DIPFUCKS
All right settle down, Christ.
Are you sure you're not a girl?
Speaking of mothers mine mentioned to someone in the family, someone who suddenly seems to give a shit about my mom enough to go over her house and talk to her, that I liked girls.
Well I think after reading this we all know she is horrifically mistaken.
Now, I've made no effort to conceal my sexuality from anyone. Be it family or friends. I don't feel I owe anyone a "coming out" speech.
Nor should anyone require one to figure you out. It's like asking if that four-legged animal over there licking his balls is a dog. You just kind of understand what it is intrinsically.
I have inhaled Twilight. I have consumed New Moon. I have absorbed Eclipse. And now, I have tamed the ravenous beast known only as....Breaking Dawn.
All right, bro. You're gay, not a 16 year old girl.
The question is not did you read, but did you convert?
Convert to what, Twilight cult?
I remember back in the good old days when vampires were creepy leeches who needed killing.
Has Dawn really broken? Yes, Dawn broke. Dawn broke so hard that Chuck Norris is somewhere in Texas
Chuck Norris joke avert your gaze!
Whew. Here's how Chuck Norris jokes work, you unfunny cunts: they're like Medusa. Anyone who reads one immediately has their sense of humor turned to stone and they can never laugh at another joke again because the weight of the unfunny, internet meme-generated bullshit will always be there.
The Dream: To become a published Author. How's it looking? With the current trend in the Young Adult market, I feel like my trilogy has no place in it. Despite technically being YA. A lot of my writer friends feel the same way about their stories.
I can't imagine reading an entire book written by you. I'm only three entries into your blog and I almost have a headache already.
Are they YA? Yes. Is it urban fantasy? Yes. Is it in a high school setting? Yes. Is there romance? Yes. Is it between a really really super hot guy and a beautiful but plain girl who's the quiet outcast? Um...no.
And therein lies the rub.
Remember when books could be about things and when you read them you didn't want to die?
I miss that.
Oh apparently this is a girl. She's a lesbian.
Jack the lesbian.
Man the internet is hard to figure out.
Well I guess all guys with blogs aren't gay when they're actually women.
I would like to take a moment to talk about a writer's constant companion: The Muse.
Oh fuck me.
Every writer has a muse, they have one form or another.
Oh is that right?
Each are unique to different people.
How the fuck is it Homer, Virgil, Dante, John Milton and Dan Brown all invoke the same muse and yet all of you assholes need your own muse now?
They're the only employee we have that will work when they want to, constantly argue about which story to write first, and will frequently walk off the job when we really need them the most.
Most of the writers I just mentioned considered themselves employees of the muse, no the other way around.
I think if I were to read what they said in a psychoanalytic way I might say they understood their idea was unusual and it was probably the best one they had in them so they better spend it wisely and not be a raving jackass on Livejournal about it.
Just a thought for you twits.
My Muse, takes the form of some kind of Meerkat/Mutated Rabbit. I don't know, he came to me when I was 14, and he hasn't left me alone since. His name is Buddy.
What.
This is a typical work day for us.....
"I need you to start working over time, it's NaNo month."
"No."
"Fine! Then I'll find someone else!"
"Oh really? You're gonna find someone who'll put up with your shitty writing, overuse of verbs, and bad characterization?
She's hearing voices.
BY THE WAY GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND SOME THIRD-WORLD ILLITERATE RETARD WILLING TO READ THAT BOWEL-SYNDROME YOU CALL A MANUSCRIPT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"
*cries*
So, my fellow writers, what are your Muses like?
Well here's how it typically goes for me and writing:
"hey there's an idea, I'm going to use that!"
There it is.
Sometimes after a lot of thought here's what will happen, though:
"maybe this isn't so good after all. I'll try something else."
Wiiiiild.
Anyway Jacquelin I'm starting to get fucking pissed at your blog so I'm going to go do something else now.
You take care.
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