So without a thought to my own safety I dive right into Chivalrous at the core, which is a funny title given the first entry's title: "I hate menstration. Quick, somebody lemme borrow a dick!"
Presumably she means menstruation. Yeah, there's a 'u' in it the same way there's a 'd' in Wednesday or an 'r' in February. Also I learned from FFXI today Bandanna has a double n in it and they are actually correct in spelling it that way. But yeah, real chivalrous. Talking about your bleeding cunt (literally). Of course chivalry is for men doing manly things. You know, like trying to stab each other with huge, straight, thick, hard lances (not phallic, honest).
I feel so drained, I get dizzy whenever I try to walk.
That's what your mom said when I was done-- all right no even I'm above that joke.
What was strange about them was that they lasted all day, I got sweaty and hot all over
:3 natural reaction to seeing me for the first time, I assure you. Baby.
I'm going to see the hormone doctor tomorrow. I think my biggest concern is that he won't have an answer for me.
Oh no I'm having flashbacks to last Friday.
Today, I watched a movie that has been described as "The Citizen Kane of bad movies".
Hmm... I'd think the obvious answer would be Manos, Hands of Fate, but I'm going with Heaven's Gate. Watch the director's cut of that for a true endurance test worthy of a Space Marine (it's almost 5 hours).
Directed, produced and acted by a very creepy, very talentless Tommy Wiseau. The Room breaks pretty much every film rule known to the industry.
I haven't even heard of this, and it's basically my occupation as an internet warrior to see all of this shit.
It's unlikely something so awful passed under my radar (unless it was made recently in which case get bent, all movies made after 2000 are automatically shit) so I would say it's probably one of those movies people watch to fancy themselves hardcore, meanwhile they're missing actual bad movies.
"I'm just saying"
This vague and ultimately purposeless phrase somehow comes out of me with intention of meaning something to the effect of; I want desperately to see eye-to-eye with you and it's likely that I do for the most part.
No shit. Shut up.
It's a lot of underlying meaning for three stupid words.
That's why I lie constantly. No one actually wants to hear the truth, as evidenced by this bullshit psychological study on three words.
"What do you think of this plan?"
"Sounds good to me."
"Really I was thinking it was shit."
"I mean yeah it's bad, whatever."
Just don't contradict their opinion ever and it doesn't really matter you just contradicted yourself in a five second window. As I've stated numerous times here, people don't actually want your opinion, they just want their opinion stated back at them, possibly in the form of a question.
Also never tell any jokes that require more than three steps of logic or require inside knowledge into any area of expertise (I literally mean anything, even mundane shit) because it's too much to ask. Your joke repetoire in common company is literally limited to a step above knock knock jokes.
Moreover, what exactly is the person you've said this to supposed to say back?
Whenever someone says that to me I say "I'm just listening." My goal in life is to make conversations as awkward as possible for the other person for my own amusement.
This is probably why I don't have many friends.
I find a lot of times you wind up getting a somewhat heated, counter-productive "Well, I'm just saying" - which ends up being a point completely and infuriatingly opposite to the one you've just made.
Oh hi lack of tact. Most people see this as you attempting to supersede their opinion with your opinion. The correct course of action is to defuse the situation by saying something like "whatever I'm going to McDonald's."
At this point, the argument becomes circular and it's probably best to relinquish and throw yourself out of a window - because there's no way you're going to be able to settle on anything verbally.
Compromise is akin to treachery, as they say. Just agree and continue doing what you want. Only way to seize victory.
Maybe I should become a mute or something. I think troubles would end with the death of speech patterns, right?
Ah yes, the Holden Caulfield decision.
Today my grandmother told me in detailed, poetic Spanish the representations, religious mythology and other meanings of a recent painting that I have been working on.
Fucking rad
She was unwilling to accept that all of the elements of the painting were added purely for the sake of what I thought looked the best - even though I tried to tell her this several times.
Thanks for ruining my fantasy of having a cool grandparent by being a twat.
No, you didn't put them there just "because they look good". Psychologically they look good for a reason, and that likely stems from the original mythological meaning behind them, all of which would be so ingrained into your cultural identity you aren't even aware you're using it FUCK YOU.
I think a lot of the pretentious bullshit that the art world faces would be gone if people were just more genuine about the art they were observing and/or creating.
That's why you're a shitty artist am I right? Brotip: good artists can put symbolic meaning in a painting without being cunts about it. Incidentally the last good artist died before the Vietnam war.
I think that very slowly, I'm becoming depressed. Everyday, I feel marginally worse then I did yesterday.
No that's called growing up. You'll snap out of it, trust me.
I am the world's biggest dickhole.
D:
Ha, ha, yeah.
I just teared up during a wedding scene in a dumb sitcom.
Oh my God, what have I become?
YOU ARE SMALLTIME.
I'm going to join two paragraphs together and cut the middle part out for the sake of brevity:
I am such a scatter-brain.
I'm afraid that one of these days I'm going to forget something really detrimental. But how do I stop this? Does this mean I have ADD? Do I have to go on Ritalin again? :/
How do you fix a problem that you don't remember having?
I hate to pull a Dr. Phil here but you just kind of have to stop doing it. Get a planner and write shit down, try and remember it, something.
Love is not a miracle. It happens all the goddamn time.
Yeah now you're getting it. Show anger at things people find sweet.
The real miracle is loving someone functionally, unselfishly and mutually.
All right your kung fu is still kind of weak. Here's how you really troll some fags:
LOVE IS GAY AND IF YOU KISS A GIRL YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT
There is suddenly a very real possibility that I could lose my 7 month relationship.
Wow 7 months. Really fucking long, kid.
I am not sure if this is something I want. I certainly do not want to hurt him and thus far, I have failed miserably on this objective.
Make your decision in 5 seconds. As I'm learning the less you think about something the better the result.
We communicate a lot with one another - but we have different methods of communication and often times perceive things differently.
Adults are intellectually stimulated by ambiguity and differing opinions, as psychology class taught me.
Of course in reality--
There's also an inequality in what we feel for one another. He says he loves me, wherein I am just very fond of him.
Ha, ha oh girls and their range of things I understand are called emotions.
I feel a lot of guilt being in a relationship that is unbalanced in that respect; that he is so certain and so passionate about what he feels for me when I am more indefinite and moderate.
He sounds like a pussy. I say you're better off without him.
For example, I'm ovulating today (Is this considered TMI? I don't really know. Sorry if it is?).
Yes. Also you don't need a question mark and a period. Here's a quick rule of thumb for you to know if it's too much information:
if it, in any way, involves your genitals, it is in fact too much information.
Zach always says that I should call him when the ol' insomnia spins about. But I virtually never do. I just don't see the point in disturbing his perfectly nice sleep to go on about how I can't sleep.
Sounds reasonable.
I hate it when my friends trip, get stoned or compare and discuss the symptoms and differences of certain drugs. I can't relate to that lifestyle, and I have no desire to. It makes me feel like an outcast. I feel like they sorta do them too much, too. I mean, it's not healthy.
Narc.
Now there's another long post about how she thinks she has ADD because she doesn't know what her goals in life are and she's all over the place and-- kid you're in college, no one knows fucking dick about shit (yeah that's right: fucking dick about shit) stop thinking so much. Jeez, I thought I was high strung.
So anyway bored now--
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