False advertisement

WHEN I CLICK ON A BLOG CALLED "THE DRAGON LADY DEN"
I CERTAINLY
-CERTAINLY-
DON'T WANT TO HEAR SOME CONSERVATIVE TWAT WHINING ABOUT BULLSHIT.
I clicked on this thinking "at last, a blog for me"
but nope.
NOPE.

Dear Patriots:

Speaking as an American and former Vietnam Veteran the events of the last week have sickened me to the core. Our gutless, Muslim sympathizer of a President, Yes, You Barack Hussain Obama, should be, at the very least be Impeached, and preferably tried for treason against the United States.

Fuck.
I expected Asian chicks.

Oh My, what a shocker…..Obama fumbled again. 

The anniversary of 9/11 draws near, the anniversary of the most cowardly act ever perpetrated on the United States and where was Obama? 

I’m sure more information will come out about the attacks on the US embassy and consulate that took place on the 11thanniversary of 9/11 as well as the attacks and protests that have started since 9/11/2012; however one thing is certain, Obama fumbled it. 

HE'S A MUSLIM TERRORIST.

Obama missed every intelligence briefing for a week leading up to 9/11/2012. He even missed the one after because it conflicted with a meeting he had and then he had to ….. get ready for it…… rush off to another fundraiser. According to a white house spokesperson, he was completely up to date because he read the daily briefings. First off, briefing papers are just that, a brief summary of the day’s events and analysis. Briefs are not designed to get you up to speed on a subject. They are however, designed to bring points forward for further discussion. 

Wow the levels of fucks I don't give about this.
Can we talk about how bullshit the title of your blog is?

Since the beginning of time there has been a steady war between the choices of good and evil.  

...
Very true.

The RNC and the DNC have shown a clear contrast between these two choices the last two weeks. The voices have been coherent, clear as a bells sound in a cool winter morning, not only to hear but  for all to see; at least for those who have eyes to see, ears that hear, and hearts that are softened by the pure words of Christ. 

Oh fuck.
You know
why not?

The problem with so many, sadly, in order to justify behavior contrary to revealed scripture, many have made themselves numb to the truth that vibrates deep within each of us; they have hardened their hearts, and have made themselves enemies of the very thing that would bring them peace, that might cause them to truly appreciate the Sanctuary that attracts so many to Americas boarders.  

America invented freedom thanks to Jesus.
This is the stereotype Democrats trot out to mock Republicans and the response is "right but where's that guy in real life?" and I guess he's here.
Incredibly for a blog called "Den of the Dragon Lady" it appears to be now kept up by two men.
Go figure?

I wish that all who would call themselves American would read our history without any pre-conceived notions or prejudice.  By the Spirit of Christ which resides in all of us, they would find that those who we call our founders were and are men of God. 

Cutting away the mythology of the founding of the US the pilgrims came here not to find religious freedom (which they had in Europe) but to persecute those who didn't agree with them because the same freedoms they had in Europe were extended to such heretical groups as the Quakers and such.
The Founding Fathers were deist which is religious in the loosest sense of the term and were not, as this chucklefuck would proudly proclaim, deeply religious men.
To say this country was founded on Judeo-Christian values is a myth because, in fact, most of the values this country was founded on were co-opted from burgeoning European Republicans who were themselves based on older Greek and Roman standards.
It'd be more accurate to claim the US was founded on Pagan values because these were Pagan societies.
The Bible, when it speaks on the subject of nation building, is usually pretty keen to say "they'll do whatever they'll do" because the Bible has a vested interest in seeming spiritual and detached from the material world.
The Bible commenting on how to successfully forge an empire would pretty much undermine one of its primary messages.

I am the city wrought with crime so much so that I am the second deadliest city in America surpassed only by Detroit for murders. I am the state where its people once called itself the “land of pleasant living.”

Baltimore.
Is this seriously a riddle?
It's Baltimore, idiot.

Who am I? Surely you have guessed by now…….I am the once Great State of Maryland, and once Great City of Baltimore……hard to believe isn’t it?.........sad to see the regressive nature of my state!

Well I guess I've solved the riddle of the Sphinx.

We all have opinions.

Well you know what they say about opinions--

There are not too many people in America that Obama likes. You never see him golf (100 rounds and counting) with anyone but his close knit circle members. Dick Cheney may have shot his friend but at least he has friends to hang out with.  

I'm sure Obama has friends.
I mean I'm no Obama fan but I'm sure the man has friends.
Also awesome job at attacking Obama:
CHENEY MAY ATTEMPT TO MURDER HIS FRIENDS BUT AT LEAST HE HAS THEM UNLIKE THAT COMMUNIST MUSLIM FAG OBAMA!

My prayers go out to the Martin Family for the loss of their child.

Trayvon Martin – I am tired of hearing that name. It’s like a call for blacks to riot once again. We have school students in Florida protesting this shooting during school hours instead of the being in the classroom. 

FIRST THE MUSLIMS
NOW THIS.
Also what the fuck school can't break up a student protest?
I did that in 2 seconds and I'd been there a week.
"Oh you're protesting? Sit down and do your fucking work before I give you something to protest."

Worst of all they are being lead by the school administrators and faculty. What a great example of our tax dollars hard at work.

Oh.
Welp.

I was impressed today that if only men and women, those who hold tenaciously to leftist ideology would soften their hearts by turning from a devotion of popularity, party politics, and ego centrism in exchange for Godly principle, our country and certain parts of the world would not now be in peril. 

IF OBAMA WEREN'T SUCH A MUSLIM THE TWIN TOWERS WOULD STILL BE STANDING!
Also I'd like to point out that's not a coherent thought.

There is an ironic twist in history which few know of in light of what is going on in Iran at this very moment. King Cyrus of Persia

...
Speaking of people with Christian principles--
a pagan who lived 500 years before Jesus.

lived about 500 years before Christ. History records that he conquered most all of Arabia and what is now Iran and Turkey. He is mentioned in the Bible in 2nd Chronicles 36:22. Cyrus restored certain political and social rights to the captive Hebrew and gave them permission to return to Jerusalem and directed that Jehovah’s Temple should be rebuilt.

UNTIL THE SPARTANS GAVE HIM THE BUSINESS.
THE FIRST DOMINO IN A LONG CHAIN THAT CREATED AMERICA.
Holy shit this guy seriously goes on to say if we'd all accept Jesus there'd be no communism.
It is 2012, man. I don't think communism is a great threat anymore.
So there we have it. Cyrus II was the first Christian.
Surprised?
The man who literally called himself a living god--
the first man to achieve apotheosis before his death--
the first Christian.
I might call you an idiot but I don't have a political blog with over 300 entries so what do I know?
Poor Cyrus II. I feel bad for the guy because he's so demonized by history.
He just had the intense misfortune of losing to the West (back when the West was 1300 dudes standing in a valley) who would, of course, then proceed to call him an asshole for the rest of history and he's now hated by his own people because he's perhaps the most intense pagan until Julian the Philosopher.

By destroying the family, true religion, and the best economic system that has ever existed, with all these barriers of resistance removed, America is ripe for tyranny.

IF OBAMA WEREN'T SUCH A COMMUNIST--
This guy is my favorite blogger ever. He is every single stereotype about Republicans rolled into one and he's dead serious.
He even quotes the Bible to explain how Jesus loves America.
I had no idea Jesus had such a strict political agenda.
The Apostles must have been really confused.
Oh and hey: the Book of Revelation?
BARACK
HUSAIN
OBAMA
66--
5
fuck
All right
Oh, what?
666 is Caesar's number and was probably incorrectly transcribed by early monks and Satan's number should be 616?
Uhhhh, shit?
Wow, we really fucked that up.
Didn't any of you proofread before sending this out?
666, 616-- Jesus himself said not every jot and tittle would be right.
Or did he say every jot and tittle was right?
Oh fuck me.
Anyway time for bed I think--

That was a close one whew

Guys my computer stopped loading websites for some seemingly arbitrary reason and I'm going to do the lazy/techidiot thing and pretend it was an isolated event. Whew, but I got it back! Thank goodness too, because I wouldn't know what to do without the tri-weekly blog update!
So without a thought to my own safety I dive right into Chivalrous at the core, which is a funny title given the first entry's title: "I hate menstration. Quick, somebody lemme borrow a dick!"
Presumably she means menstruation. Yeah, there's a 'u' in it the same way there's a 'd' in Wednesday or an 'r' in February. Also I learned from FFXI today Bandanna has a double n in it and they are actually correct in spelling it that way. But yeah, real chivalrous. Talking about your bleeding cunt (literally). Of course chivalry is for men doing manly things. You know, like trying to stab each other with huge, straight, thick, hard lances (not phallic, honest).

I feel so drained, I get dizzy whenever I try to walk.

That's what your mom said when I was done-- all right no even I'm above that joke.

What was strange about them was that they lasted all day, I got sweaty and hot all over

:3 natural reaction to seeing me for the first time, I assure you. Baby.

I'm going to see the hormone doctor tomorrow. I think my biggest concern is that he won't have an answer for me.

Oh no I'm having flashbacks to last Friday.

Today, I watched a movie that has been described as "The Citizen Kane of bad movies".

Hmm... I'd think the obvious answer would be Manos, Hands of Fate, but I'm going with Heaven's Gate. Watch the director's cut of that for a true endurance test worthy of a Space Marine (it's almost 5 hours).

Directed, produced and acted by a very creepy, very talentless Tommy Wiseau. The Room breaks pretty much every film rule known to the industry.

I haven't even heard of this, and it's basically my occupation as an internet warrior to see all of this shit.
It's unlikely something so awful passed under my radar (unless it was made recently in which case get bent, all movies made after 2000 are automatically shit) so I would say it's probably one of those movies people watch to fancy themselves hardcore, meanwhile they're missing actual bad movies.

"I'm just saying"

This vague and ultimately purposeless phrase somehow comes out of me with intention of meaning something to the effect of; I want desperately to see eye-to-eye with you and it's likely that I do for the most part.

No shit. Shut up.

It's a lot of underlying meaning for three stupid words.

That's why I lie constantly. No one actually wants to hear the truth, as evidenced by this bullshit psychological study on three words.
"What do you think of this plan?"
"Sounds good to me."
"Really I was thinking it was shit."
"I mean yeah it's bad, whatever."
Just don't contradict their opinion ever and it doesn't really matter you just contradicted yourself in a five second window. As I've stated numerous times here, people don't actually want your opinion, they just want their opinion stated back at them, possibly in the form of a question.
Also never tell any jokes that require more than three steps of logic or require inside knowledge into any area of expertise (I literally mean anything, even mundane shit) because it's too much to ask. Your joke repetoire in common company is literally limited to a step above knock knock jokes.

Moreover, what exactly is the person you've said this to supposed to say back?

Whenever someone says that to me I say "I'm just listening." My goal in life is to make conversations as awkward as possible for the other person for my own amusement.
This is probably why I don't have many friends.

I find a lot of times you wind up getting a somewhat heated, counter-productive "Well, I'm just saying" - which ends up being a point completely and infuriatingly opposite to the one you've just made.

Oh hi lack of tact. Most people see this as you attempting to supersede their opinion with your opinion. The correct course of action is to defuse the situation by saying something like "whatever I'm going to McDonald's."

At this point, the argument becomes circular and it's probably best to relinquish and throw yourself out of a window - because there's no way you're going to be able to settle on anything verbally.

Compromise is akin to treachery, as they say. Just agree and continue doing what you want. Only way to seize victory.

Maybe I should become a mute or something. I think troubles would end with the death of speech patterns, right?

Ah yes, the Holden Caulfield decision.

Today my grandmother told me in detailed, poetic Spanish the representations, religious mythology and other meanings of a recent painting that I have been working on.

Fucking rad

She was unwilling to accept that all of the elements of the painting were added purely for the sake of what I thought looked the best - even though I tried to tell her this several times.

Thanks for ruining my fantasy of having a cool grandparent by being a twat.
No, you didn't put them there just "because they look good". Psychologically they look good for a reason, and that likely stems from the original mythological meaning behind them, all of which would be so ingrained into your cultural identity you aren't even aware you're using it FUCK YOU.

I think a lot of the pretentious bullshit that the art world faces would be gone if people were just more genuine about the art they were observing and/or creating.

That's why you're a shitty artist am I right? Brotip: good artists can put symbolic meaning in a painting without being cunts about it. Incidentally the last good artist died before the Vietnam war.

I think that very slowly, I'm becoming depressed. Everyday, I feel marginally worse then I did yesterday.

No that's called growing up. You'll snap out of it, trust me.

I am the world's biggest dickhole.

D:

Ha, ha, yeah.

I just teared up during a wedding scene in a dumb sitcom.

Oh my God, what have I become?

YOU ARE SMALLTIME.
I'm going to join two paragraphs together and cut the middle part out for the sake of brevity:

I am such a scatter-brain.
I'm afraid that one of these days I'm going to forget something really detrimental. But how do I stop this? Does this mean I have ADD? Do I have to go on Ritalin again? :/

How do you fix a problem that you don't remember having?

I hate to pull a Dr. Phil here but you just kind of have to stop doing it. Get a planner and write shit down, try and remember it, something.

Love is not a miracle. It happens all the goddamn time.

Yeah now you're getting it. Show anger at things people find sweet.

The real miracle is loving someone functionally, unselfishly and mutually.

All right your kung fu is still kind of weak. Here's how you really troll some fags:
LOVE IS GAY AND IF YOU KISS A GIRL YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT

There is suddenly a very real possibility that I could lose my 7 month relationship.

Wow 7 months. Really fucking long, kid.

I am not sure if this is something I want. I certainly do not want to hurt him and thus far, I have failed miserably on this objective.

Make your decision in 5 seconds. As I'm learning the less you think about something the better the result.

We communicate a lot with one another - but we have different methods of communication and often times perceive things differently.

Adults are intellectually stimulated by ambiguity and differing opinions, as psychology class taught me.
Of course in reality--

There's also an inequality in what we feel for one another. He says he loves me, wherein I am just very fond of him.

Ha, ha oh girls and their range of things I understand are called emotions.

I feel a lot of guilt being in a relationship that is unbalanced in that respect; that he is so certain and so passionate about what he feels for me when I am more indefinite and moderate.

He sounds like a pussy. I say you're better off without him.

For example, I'm ovulating today (Is this considered TMI? I don't really know. Sorry if it is?).

Yes. Also you don't need a question mark and a period. Here's a quick rule of thumb for you to know if it's too much information:
if it, in any way, involves your genitals, it is in fact too much information.

Zach always says that I should call him when the ol' insomnia spins about. But I virtually never do. I just don't see the point in disturbing his perfectly nice sleep to go on about how I can't sleep.

Sounds reasonable.

I hate it when my friends trip, get stoned or compare and discuss the symptoms and differences of certain drugs. I can't relate to that lifestyle, and I have no desire to. It makes me feel like an outcast. I feel like they sorta do them too much, too. I mean, it's not healthy.

Narc.
Now there's another long post about how she thinks she has ADD because she doesn't know what her goals in life are and she's all over the place and-- kid you're in college, no one knows fucking dick about shit (yeah that's right: fucking dick about shit) stop thinking so much. Jeez, I thought I was high strung.
So anyway bored now--

AMAZING story time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love people who type like this. Oh wait, no, sorry, I meant: I LOOOOOOVE people who TYPE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So today we have followchrist.livejournal.com (I think you can see where this is headed).

I'm not sure where to begin. Like with most of my entries or emails, I have spent the last few days THINKING.

THINKING about the DEGENERATIVE disease my FAMILY HAS wherein we CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF OUR VOICES!

People are asking and wondering why I am soo quiet. Some think I'm tired, others stressed.

I can't imagine having this conversation about anyone. Hey what's with the girl in the corner! She's so quiet!
Well I think she's tired.
Maybe she's stressed?
NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS.

I don't always correct them to defend myself, because their assessment contains some truth. However the full truth is that my mind is on a raceway of thoughts, feelings, memories, and emotions.

Ah, I see. She's one of them "thoughty" girls!

Right now I'm thinking about marriage.

Oh great. Please, tell me more!

Though I am not forced to make a decision...I still sense the near options in front of me. There aren't really options in front of me...for me to decide. But there is a decision hanging in the balance. Good thing God is in control!! :)

Yeah, it's good of God to take all of the living out of living. We're all pieces in his great game, and we should be thankful for our place in it.

I feel amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!

I feel like twirling and laughing and giggling and being beautiful and then maybe falling on my butt. Ahhhh i love being me.

:3 sure is a self-indulgent moment I'm witnessing.

I've been driving around listening to country music

I'm sorry. Is your radio broken?

Whcih causes me to be the bubbly overflowing person I am.

I call that "annoying" but I guess bubbly works.

I love dancing (when I shrink back its cus I think others can dance better and I don't want to look like a fool, but i L O V E to dance.), twirling around in circles in a pretty dress.

The devil commands ye to dance, loathsome harlot!
You're dancing and twirling that dress STRAIGHT TO HELL!

I love loving people.

Wow this is such an alien emotion to me I can't even imagine. Love loving? Really? Is there a reason for this manic approach to life?

Little does the world know that on the inside all hell has broken lose. Room of pain to be cleansed.

Pain cleanses or something.
Also in a world where everyone is spelling "lose" (as in, "I lose because I'm reading this blog") as "loose" it's nice to see someone can screw it up backwards.

But the progress (praise God it aint digression)

:|

And its this more that causes me to be both bitter and numb. Bitter at myself for the state of my heart. I'm not in love with Jesus, my Bridegroom, enough.

What is this I don't even

The depth in the statement that God L O N G S to know me...all of me...and invites me to do the same to Him astounds me.

Wow I had no idea Jesus was such a playa (spelled with an a because I'm familiar with street lingo like that). I wonder what that says for all the male Christfags, huh? (Gay, as I always suspected).
Also does anyone see double (even triple) entendre in "L O N G"?

I remember this past Jan being at IHOP for the One Thing conference and having a heart-to-heart with My Love.

As all important spiritual revelations occur at IHOP (I don't know what people did before IHOP to be honest), I'll allow you to continue.

I told the Lord, my Lover and Friend, that when His eyes searched His body to find a resting place, a place to confide, a place to exhale, a friend to enjoy laughter with, a place for advice, a place to vent, and someone to love Him I wanted Him to find me.

If I were Jesus I'd be really uncomfortable right now.

I read this verse in Isaiah earlier this morning and I had a moment with God, where I just smiled at Him with my "Really?" smile. He knows all my smiles and everything I'm thinking.

Goddamn you're a douche. I hope God tells you this on a regular basis.

But anyways,

ffffffffffffffffffffffffff

After waxing the boards

;)

And let me just say, I screamed a lot!

;)

I have so much to say. I have this box

;)
goddamn double entendre Monday in blog "Miss Em"

For years I was always the girl who loved God and knew alot about the Bible...

Not "alot" about grammar, apparently.

more than most people my age.

Not enough about the Bible to stay humble either, apparently.

I don't like when other people tell me what I am thinking!!! You are not in my head, so don't try and ask like it.

Yeah you're such a riddle it'd be impossible to know what you're thinking.

This is an extremely constant thing in my life. Meaning I have thought this for years...like 8 years.

Yeah eight years is a really fucking long time, kid.

There are times throughout these past few weeks that I have felt like my body was literally going to explode from thr pressure inside my heart

She tried to master the secrets of Hokuto Shinken by herself and it backfired. You will have no need for your Bible now, because you are already dead.

for Africa.

Oh, oh. I see.

I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I am being honest. I am praying for God to make a way for me to go....not only because I want to go, but because I know He wants me to go. He has given me a desire for loving on some African folk.

Wow God really does have a plan. YOU, CREEPY, SELF-CENTERED WHITE GIRL! GO GIVE LOVE TO AFRICA! That's what they need, too, I might add: love. Not, you know, medicine or food or a solid infrastructure. Love conquers all, even AIDS and malaria.
Also I like how she makes love sound like it's something done to you. YOU'RE GETTING LOVED, AFRICA, WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT!

So I have this weird talent of finding things. really I do. It is something God has just given me...weird...I know. For example, when I was about 10 or 11, my mom lost her keys. It is a common thing to do. I found them...in the FREEZER. (Ask her if you don't believe me.) Who looks in the freezer for keys?

Uh-oh. Time for the Inquisition to make a foray to... Cunt here's house and purge some psychic talent.

He has a new CD out and well I am extremely in to it. And by that I mean, its pretty AMAZING! Definitely worth 12 or so bucks for the thing. Its entitled "Burn For You" and please go buy it, order it, listen to it. So so soooo good!

BRB Blue Oyster Cult

Like I can't spell,

You sure fucking cannot.

What is Christianity nowadays? Is it really what Jesus would want it?

Bullshit and no.
Wow somehow I stumbled through 3 years of entries. Well bravo, Followchrist. Keep this small instead of making a Livejournal and then making five million entries.
No accolades, however, for being a boring, stupid cunt. I have an awesome brotip for you, and I think it'll make you a better person all the way around: read a book not related to the Bible, go see a movie, watch some TV. Experience some new shit.
Goddamn.

Χρόνος

Chronos. God of time, I think. Not to be confused with Cronus, a Titan, and father of Zeus (among others). Like many primordial deities, is more a footnote of mythology. He is usually depicted as incorporeal and beyond the understanding of mortals, and likewise he doesn't really involve himself in the affairs of mortals. Unlike Nyx, Ouranos and Erebus,who don't feature particularly heavy into the pantheon but had children who did, Chronos is kind of off by himself, alone, not bothering anyone~
So imagine my surprise when I found he has a blog. I guess when you have the Zodiac wheel to turn for all eternity you'd start spinning your own wheels with shit like this.

Lmfao. I tried to order an iPhone 3GS, and clearly something's "wrong" and they won't let me pre-order one. (Probably can't complete the credit check because I've moved so recently?)

I always wonder about people like this. I RECENTLY MOVED AND THE CREDIT COMPANY PROBABLY HAS YET TO UPDATE MY INFORMATION AND APPLE ISN'T DUMB ENOUGH TO SEND AN iPHONE TO SOMEONE AT A DIFFERENT ADDRESS THAN THE ONE ATTACHED TO THE CREDIT CARD, BUT SOMEHOW THIS IS APPLE'S FAULT!
No, dude, it's you. Wait until you're settled in before ordering shit offline, please?

Okay so it's exactly one month until my birthday, and the release of M10! XD Which would also make it my niece's 23rd birthday (Which also happens to be the birthday of Jeph Jacques over at Questionable Content) and... yeah. :P

What

ALSO: Hoshinosasayaki (Whisper of the Stars, I believe?) sake is ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS OMG. Had it last night, yum-tastic. XD

Somehow I don't think I'm dealing with the Lord of Time anymore.

I was going to say that nothing is quite as frustrating as feeling like you need something but having absolutely no clue what it is that you need, or feel you need... but then I realized that knowing and being really embarrassed about it is probably worse. Then again, maybe it interchanges frustration for... there's a word I'm looking for.

Whoa, easy there, boss. I have paragraphs like this sometimes, where I start writing it and then kind of lose track of my point halfway through, but I go back over it and say "wow I really lost it here" and delete it. You really don't need to include every thought you have in these things. Some sort of editing would probably help you get your fucking act together.

People that can eat wasabi: HOW? Dear lord, I got the tiniest little speck of green on my California rolls and my throat is burning! O_O;

Pussy.
Oh, here is a comment:

AAAAH THANK YOU PETER, YOU BRING ME CHAI LATTES. THEY MAKE THE DAY BEARABLE. ♥

Hi Peter. At least now I know I'm dealing with a dude (I wasn't entirely certain before, to be honest). "Peter" is an appropriate name because that is exactly what you are.

I wimped out on the exotic burger and just tried to get some popcorn shrimp, which they didn't have, so clam strips it was! half of that meal's still in my fridge. I was hungry and craving fried (which I typoed as "friend" initially. NO I DO NOT WANT TO EAT Y'ALL!) food so I made sure we got some cheese sticks and onion rings too. *_____*

>y'all
I like how he wimps out eating alligator but doesn't seem to have problems with eating shrimp, which are essentially UNDERWATER COCKROACHES.

I tried a scoop of the chocolate and a scoop of the vanilla bean. The chocolate was really disappointing

How can chocolate ice cream be disappointing? Either they really fucked up or you're not really sure of what chocolate ice cream is. It's not like it's an EXOTIC FLAVOR. It's in the name: it's chocolate, and it's ice cream. Put the two together. SHIIIIIIIIT.

I am so boring :P But Irfaan and Erin aren't! XD

No shit. Also no, I'm sure your friends are boring too. Boring people are friends with boring people.

Heading to bed. Will post about evening adventure when I'm not paying attention at work tomorrow.

You are why the economy is shit right now. If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

Maybe you have to have witnessed 300 pedobear replies before this one becomes funny, but it really made me laugh.

PEDOBEAR THAT'S REALLY FUNNY! HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN GOATSE? THAT WEBSITE IS REALLY GROSS! HI, I'M NEW TO THIS WHOLE ANONYMOUS THING LULZ XD ANONYMOUS IS LEGION LOLXD. Die.

And you know you've been reading too much XKCD when 6 and 9 really do look like little people, or really fucking dirty.

On a totally unrelated topic (shit I care about) I just hit level 69 today on FFXI. Surprisingly fewer sex jokes than I expected ensued.

Ugh. Keeping windows open to try and cool the apartment means that last night as I came downstairs to brush my teeth I got a bunch of drunken fucks looking in and laughing at me in my underwear. Not good for one's esteem... o_x;

Holy shit Peter, where do you live? I'd invest in a gun, bro. Also you're a guy, dude. You're not supposed to have esteem about your body. It's just fucking there. That shit is for girls to be insecure about.
Also for your gun you're going to want something effective but also threatening to be staring down the barrel of. I mean I'd be threatened by any gun, but know you you'd buy a chick's gun, and then everyone is just going to laugh at you. You should definitely get a shotgun. Then just carry the stock when you're not about to use it so people know you mean business.

My apartment manager called me and left a voicemail, and was very... circuitous. It made me feel really nervous O_o; I guess we'll see when I get home tonight what's going on :S

See if you had a shotgun stock in your hand when you met her she'd never leave you another voicemail. Barring that you could still get an axe handle or something. Or at the very least a tire iron or an axle or something.

LMFAO. When people roam into our office unsolicited and they aren't delivering a package, I have an immediate dislike of them.

Hey, me too! Only if by "office" you mean "everywhere" and by "unsolicited people" you mean "everyone".

They then try to sell us something. I want to tell them GET THE FUCK OUT OH MY GAWD IF I COULD CAST FIREBALL I SO WOULD RIGHT NOW RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

Oh what. Also, shotgun stock. I'm telling you. And if they keep at it just pull the barrel out from under desk and say "we're only a couple of minutes away from a real problem."

LMFAO. They wanted a business card and Peter said, "Nope!" *roflmfao* OH I LOVE YOU PETER. XD

Oh, so you're not Peter? Good grief, this is getting too confusing. You're Peter. Even if you're a girl, which you might be. Also lol, XD, roflmfao, etc. I'd have a HILARIOUSREACTIONIMAGE.JPG but I don't feel like finding one so just imagine one to amuse yourselves.

Thinking more about D&D than work. This could be bad. Come on, Jake! Think! :P At least I'm coming up with some amusing crap. :P

Jake. Hi, Jake.

Sat down, started watching a couple ANTM clips that I really enjoyed, and I see this HUGE flying bug fly right in front of me, and... uuuuugh it was so gross. It was like a mosquito meets a daddy-long-legs, basically.

Catch it between two chopsticks like Mr. Miagi taught you.
For some reason I imagine you as a Ralph Macchio clone so that felt like an apt reference even if I'm the only person who understood the connection.
In case the entire reference is lost on anyone, it's the Karate Kid.

I went to take a shower, thought to myself "Hell, I feel like taking a bath!"

Cool story, Ralph. I mean Peter. I mean Jake. You.
Now he's posting some pictures of some girls asking who, in my estimation, is the most attractive but I'm not falling for it, err, Jake. You're clearly gay and this is a poor subterfuge. (what guy takes a bath and admits to it?)
Also all three of them look kind of peculiar. The first one might be a dude, and the other two are making very odd faces, like maybe someone is forcing them to smile for the photo. I'm very uncomfortable with this entire setup. Seems like the setup for a new Hannibal Lector movie, or maybe just a direct sequel to the first one. Somehow.

I'm a little bewildered that Apple charges $10 for operating system upgrades for the iPod touch.

Well it's not a patch, it's an upgrade!
(Fuck I -hate- having to use that clunky-ass iTunes to manage what's on my iPod. I hate iTunes.)
It's actually pretty fucking easy to use. Apple's entire gimmick is pretty much "computer for the average idiot who can't be bothered to figure fuck anything out at all." So if you can't manage iTunes, I have some bad news.
Well, Jake, I enjoyed this dalliance~

Writan

How does one write successfully? There are many roads to success, but I, personally, think a lot of knowledge about what you're writing helps immensely. For example, I myself had been an internet troll for several years before embarking on this quest.
John Milton studied the classics and epic poetry for ten whole years before sitting down to write Paradise Lost. But years of practice is, well, a lot of work! You want to write now, goddamn it.
That's okay as long as Livejournal is around. Livejournal, proving that just because you can write it does not mean you are a writer.
This thought directly contradicts this woman's (Kate Hickle, I love being on a first name basis with my target) tag line: "If you wish to be a writer, write" which sounds great, in theory. There's one glaring flaw to this thinking, though: I bought stamps. Does that make me a stamp collector? I can make a TV dinner, am I a chef? If simply doing something (regardless of skill, training, talent et cetera) makes a person something then everyone who has ever put a bandaid on someone is a surgeon.
Of course no one would claim something so ludicrous, and this just goes to show most people don't actually understand what being a writer means.

For once I'm enjoying the revising stage. Wait, did I just say that? Lol.

I think it's safe to say if you're enjoying any part of writing it's shit.
Of course I think it's safe to assume that if you're writing, it's shit.

We are all our own worst critics.

Keep this sentence in mind as we continue our journey through this travesty.

I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to rewrite a key scene in my WIP when it's like a light bulb went off. I just started writing and cant seem to stop. I'm on a roll now. I can't believe that I didn't think of starting the novel this way before, it's genius!

>it's genius
>we are all our own worst critics
Wow, even the greatest pieces of literature ever written have sustained harsher critiques than that.
Now she posts her scene, which if she thinks I'm reading all of that dreck she's mentally ill.
So it's about high school graduation (the ceremony bit). You remember that, don't you? The most interesting part of high school ever. Where everyone sits around and pretends like they're losing something they're going to miss. Then it ends and everyone fucks off to the rest of their lives.

Now, let me explain a few things. In high school, you have your cliques;

Maybe you've never experienced mundane, everyday life before. Let me explain it for you:

the cheerleaders, the popular crowd, the football players, drama geeks and the nerds. My friends and I don’t fit into any of those categories.

Oh great, you picked a main character who has no personality or defining characteristics. YOU KNOW ALL THOSE NOTABLE HIGH SCHOOL CHARACTERS? YEAH, WELL I'M NONE OF THOSE. I'M THE TEEMING, UNWASHED MASSES.
Fantastic.
Let's see, now-- dialog, dialog, dialog, dialog-- you know you can advance a plot through something else, don't you? I know, I know, unlikely, but it has happened before.

I couldn’t even form words. Ryan was breaking up with me. After five years together, it was over. It couldn’t be.

Oh wow that's really-- oh shit, fuck me I had a huge yawn that made my temples throb for a second.

Was he looking for Elizabeth?

Weren't you spelling it "Elisabeth" not... Six paragraphs ago? Maybe this is two different characters?

“Nothing.” He clenched the wheel tighter. ‘Bullshit’ I mumbled under my breath. “What did you say?” He asked angrily.

You know when you fail to space shit out it just feels like a list, so your audience is going to read this like it's a boring conversation that no one gives a shit about (which it is).
Let's fix this, shall we?

"Nothing." He clenched the wheel tighter.

'Bullshit' I mumbled under my breath.

"What did you say?" he asked angrily.

That's already better. But it's still drab and lifeless, so I think we could further enhance this by not being a shitty writer banging out every thought that comes into our head onto a keyboard.
Let's try together.

"Nothing," he said, gripping the wheel tighter.

There was an uncomfortable silence. I shifted my weight, trying to fill the void. After that feeble attempt, I grew angry, or perhaps it was disappointment. "Bullshit," I uttered to myself.

"What did you say?" he said, turning to me. I could see the blind, fleeting anger in his eyes.

"Focus on the road you shit," spake I.

See, that wasn't so hard, was it? The guy is creeping on this bitch, so he should probably be angry and guilty both at himself and the situation, so I tried to reflect that in his actions. See how his anger was blind and fleeting? That's because he channeled it, temporarily, at her, but it'd quickly pass and he'd realize he was actually the jerk.
You could do any number of things. I was setting this character up as more sympathetic than a complete villain, but you might find that works better for you.

“I just think that we need to take some time to ourselves, he shifted his body towards me,

Shouldn't he be shifting away? "We need time to ourselves, here let me get closer," is what that says.

What do you think?

I think you're a subpar writer with no real talent or knack for characterization, pacing or dialog. You write everything in that dialog-heavy, meandering postmodern style that no one is going to remember fifty years from now.
In other words, keep at it and you'll have a best seller.

I heard back from my critique partner and the advice she gave me about my edits wasn't really as bad as I first thought it would be.

Oh, well, if you're looking for ass kissing then you better not read my advice. Edits should only be as brutal as they need to be. If you don't want people to be mean to you, you should try harder to not be shit at whatever it is you do.
Take for example what I'm listening to right now. Crazy Train by Ozzie. What can I say about this besides "it's fucking awesome"?
That's because he's not a hack. That's the way it works.

"Overall, really great ideas and a quick read. Great characterization and I think your writing is improving, you are becoming more comfortable with who you are as a writer. It shows, and i can't wait to read the edits" <--- this makes me smile :)

Great characterization? Fuck.

It seems that every day I sit and stare at an empty computer screen, the cursor just blinking at me. With nothing to write. Its intimidating.

OH LET ME JUST SIT HERE AND STARE AT THE SCREEN LIKE A HUMP, THEN.

I started reading Pagan Stone by Nora Roberts the other day. Right now, I have 4 books in my TBR pile and I noticed yesterday that they are all continuing series. Pagan Stone is the end of "The Hollow" series, Breaking Dawn is the end of Twilight and White Witch Black Curse is the next novel, possibly last, of Kim Harrison's vampire series.

Good grief so that's where you get all your notions from.

Even though, I just bought another book I wanted, I've been wanting to finish the Twilight series for a few months now and it's the cheapest I've seen the book, so in a way I actually saved money.

Spending money is saving money. This is only logic to women.

I'm hoping last night's dream doesn't come true.

Well good thing it was just in your head and not reality, then. You know just because you think something doesn't make it true, right?

Now, that I sit and think about it, its probably due to the fact that my husband and I are trying to get pregnant, but it still seems weird to me.

Gross. More than I wanted to know.
Incidentally, it's just you getting pregnant. Your husband, by definition, cannot get pregnant. He is a man.

It's Friday the 13th. I'm not one to be superstitious but I thought that it was a little weird that the same day that my Writers Digest magazine shows up in the mail with an article on revising/editing your novel, I begin to wonder if writing is really for me?

Uhh--
You are superstitious.

Jealousy rears it's ugly head

its* ugly head. Basic grammar, come on.
Well I think that's it. I kind of lost interest and started doing other shit.

Hyperion

Today's blog is interesting because the person is seemingly very intelligent. I have never seen such a dumb smart person before.
I don't think I could double major in psychology and applied mathematics.
Mostly because of the "applied mathematics" part. I could major in psychology with no problems. Maybe it's my own understanding of math (none) but anyone who has any mathematical knowledge I automatically consider smart. Maybe it's my mistake.

Ugh, I am a total failure in getting things done this weekend.

That summarizes my weekends always. Who gives a shit? I certainly don't and none of my school work does.

I had the most ridiculous math quiz of my life yesterday. I mean, I don't know. Not in terms of like... the stuff was impossible, but that it was impossible to expect us to get the problems done in half an hour.

What kind of math takes that long to solve?
I seriously don't know. That wasn't a rhetorical question.

So part of me is happy about that, but the other part is like... well, he's counting 10 quizzes and we can drop any quizzes past that, and this is our 12th, and right now the lowest quiz I'm dropping is an 18/20, so it seems pointless to me to really work hard on this quiz because I need to get at least a 19 and I'm not that confident that I'll get that.

... I'm not a math major like you, but if he's only counting 10 quizzes and the lowest one (the one you're dropping) is an 18/20, that means you have an A average.
Why are you worrying about this, exactly?
Also what kind of crazy school is this? At most I get my lowest quiz grade dropped, not the lowest three (at least).

Anyways, I was trying to figure out all this stuff before today because I thought I was supposed to register today, but as it turns out, I was looking at the wrong time. Oops?

You know all this shitting math and psychology but you don't know there's no 's' on "anyway"? Carriage before horse, etc.

Anyways, so yeah, today is ridiculously nice and relaxed.

I've tabulated the average number of sentences in her blog that start with "anyways" or "so yeah". 55%. 55% devoted to three words.

Second, President-Elect (!) Obama had his first press-conference since being elected and seriously, it ridiculous how excited and giddy that made me.

That is ridiculous. You're silly for being excited about this bullshit.

Anyways. Other things that made yesterday awesome: I turned in my major plan to the registrar! I'm officially a psych major!

I am certain that English 101 is a requirement for any major.
The term "ridiculous" appears 19 times on the front page alone. I'm sure if you did a search for "cunt" or "fuck" in my blog it'd appear something like 17 billion times but that's different because I use it as a punctuation mark, not as an adjective. Get a thesaurus, Jesus.

So apparently The Ex List has been canceled.

There is justice in the world.

I guess I haven't mentioned it at all, but I've been watching it, and I think it's really cute.

Somehow I'm not surprised.
If you've remained ignorant to this program, behold:
Holy shit this show is awful.

Anyways, I have two tests tomorrow, which totally sucks.

I'd mention right now that I'd like people to be more interesting, but that's not really their fault, come to think of it.
Try to make your language more interesting, I guess. Or, better yet, don't have blogs. Just don't do it.
You don't hear me updating today "hey blog I have a fucking biology test on Wednesday that I'm not going to study for and get 115% on because this class is bullshit" do you? Of course not.
I guess here's my confusion. To me, if you publish something on the internet for all to read you believe somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain that it's worth reading. If you didn't think it was, it'd just be a text document on your desktop or a notebook you keep near your bed, wouldn't it? Somewhere in this stupid cunt's brain she thinks "yes people give a shit that I have two tests tomorrow."
Either that or people are so married to their technology that they never considered not putting it on the internet, at which point we might as well just plug ourselves into the internet now because that's where this is headed.

What the hell, why is it snowing right now?! I don't even understand how this is possible. I mean, it's not sticking, but it's definitely snow. My dashboard says the temperature is 44 degrees! How can it snow at all at 44 degrees?

How can a psychology/applied mathematics major have so little understanding of basic science?
I'll keep this short because I know for a fact I, along with all other American children, learned this shit in the second grade.
You see in the atmosphere it's a lot colder that it is down here on the surface of the Earth, so when it rains up there in the sky and it's cold, it snows, and it doesn't melt (because the temperature on Earth is relatively close to the temperature up there) immediately. That's why it isn't sticking.

And, ok, my dashboard also says that it's party cloudy, but I checked on weather.com to see the wind chill and apparently with wind chill it's 29 degrees, except I went outside and there's no way in hell that it's 29 degrees.

Apparently you don't have a lot of experience with the elements and outdoors shit when someone who never ventures out yonder has to explain this to you.
Okay here's how it works. Wind chill is how cold it is when the wind blows, so if you get hit with a huge gust it's 29 degrees. The ambient (look it up) temperature isn't 29.
I like how she qualifies that stupid statement with "and okay" like she's going to blow the entire meteorology community apart with this brilliant insight.

I mean, I like the snow, but if it's not going to stick, there's just no point to it.

Well this would be cause and effect, wouldn't it? It's not like nature decided to make it snow. The chemical requirements for it to snow and not stick were met so that's what happened.

Anyways, the sucky part of the weekend was that I had to write a 5-page paper while I was there.

A FIVE PAGE PAPER JESUS CHRIST. You're in for a shock if you ever go for your doctorate.

And the write-up for my child observation project which isn't too bad because it's not a paper, it's just answering questions, and I have so much trouble actually starting papers but just answering questions is easy, so hopefully it won't take forever for me to finish that

One might wonder what she was thinking, majoring in psychology. In every psychology class I've taken (a few) the amount of research papers has given any English class I've taken a run for its money. Someone who clearly hates grammar and the English language, research papers and simple observation probably isn't cut out for an occupation that comprises in its entirety the observation of human interaction and discourse and writing the results or relaying them in a meaningful fashion to others.
It isn't necessarily a clear indicator but to me it speaks volumes that she can't even figure out the rather simple mechanisms of how snow works (well, the telling part was she didn't know how to go about finding this information) and yet she expects to analyze the behavior of people who are several degrees more complicated and irrational than natural weather patterns.

Tomorrow I'm going to walk over to this pre-school near campus and observe a class for my child observation project. I'm kind of nervous, I guess?

All right psych major, what does that tell you?

There's no reason to be nervous since I'm just supposed to sit there and, well, observe.

You acknowledge your fear is irrational and yet?

But I am a little nervous anyways.

Son of a fuck.
Here's where as a psychology major you're supposed to say "maybe I have a bit of a social phobia" or "maybe new experiences can be a little scary maybe I should consider this in my interaction with children, where most likely all experiences are going to be new" but nope. No thought given to this.

I thought I was going to do way worse than that. This is why my study habits are becoming so terrible; even when I procrastinate like crazy and do a half-assed job, I still end up doing fine. It is positively reinforcing my terrible study habits!

No it--
forget it.
Just forget it.
If you want to solve this riddle, ask yourself this: is there anything to reinforce?
If you didn't study and still did fine, maybe studying isn't necessary in the first place, and therefore you aren't reinforcing an undesired behavior (the idea of good and bad are in the realm of philosophy, not psychology). If you didn't study and failed a test, you'd start studying because your environment necessitated a change in behavior.

But the paper isn't due until Friday, so at least I do have time. I just wanted to finish it today because my parents are coming up Thursday and I'd like to spend time with them rather than writing a paper.

Most people would just write the paper, but not this one.

Bottom line: I'm getting an A+ in procrastination this week! sigh.

This is starting to get tedious. At what point do you say "well I have an A average in multivariable statistics so I must be doing something right"?

Anyways, yesterday went pretty crappy.

Every word in this sentence is wrong.
I guess that's it, then, because I totally forgot about this post for about half an hour.

Writan

Typical annoying cunt today. Nothing big.

BIG HUGE GIGANORMOUS News that I can't tell you about yet....book related....

Oh you got published. Congrats. That's a difficult feat (he lied).

Cold front coming in. After the cortizone shot, my hip has been about 75% better...all that came crashing down today, lol. Slapped a lidoderm/lidocaine patch on there, so hopefully it will go numb soon. The things one wishes for...

I haven't read the rest of this but I'm already getting used to this type of statement. I imagine she's one of those people who always has some sort of injury (imagined or real) and always over dramatizes it.

Does anyone have experience with a preemie and would you know what this means:
" they closely monitor his degree of oxygen saturation and the possibility of internal hemorrhage in his ventricles" ?

I've heard tell the greatest computer scientists have put their huge nerd brains together and developed something called a search engine, but since Livejournal is apparently your only means to acquire information:
babies who are premature often have underdeveloped lungs, and so they have to monitor the child to make sure her lungs are working properly. The reason they'd be monitoring for a hemorrhage (bleeding) in the ventricle (of the bronchial airways) is because the weight of the child's chest can compress the lungs, which is why they aren't breathing properly, which is why oxygen saturation would be down.
I don't have a premature baby so I guess I'm not qualified to answer this question.

In other news: stopped new medication.

I fucking called it.

Seems one of the 1% FREAK category side effects is hypoaesthesia and facial hypoaesthesia.

... Did you mean hypoesthesia, doctor?

me I lose feeling in my face and arms/hands

Well technically hypoesthesia is the loss of tactile response (reduced feeling of touch) and not actual numbness, but all right you're the doctor.

That's my first medication rule: if it jacks with my mind and thought processes I'm not taking it.

That's funny because that's the exact opposite of my first rule of medication.

If I can't write I won't take it...just not worth it to me.

Yeah people are certainly never better at that when they're obliterated or crazy or anything.

Okay...tonight is writing night. Hoping to get 2 chapters done tonight, but we'll see how it goes.

Oh boy should be quality.

News on Symphony for the Forgotten, and thanks to everyone who has emailed asking about it, the publisher is waiting for the final proof and then it's out...Yay!

Looking this up.

From ancient goddesses and Philistines, Mary Queen of Scots and the French Revolution, to modern country back roads and different worlds….Symphony for the Forgotten, a new horror collection by Angeline Hawkes, takes you on a journey through time and places feared. Fifteen stories of torment and terror await you.

Sounds like bullsh-- I mean the next H.P. Lovecraft.

If the Mayans get proved wrong, hopefully the Republicans can run a strong candidate in 2012. If the Mayans are right, then I guess none of us need worry about politics anymore.

Not even going to repeat myself again. The Mayans didn't predict the apocalypse.
I would think a horror writer would be at least familiar with the difference between a change and the impending end of the world.
It's also worth noting the apocalypse isn't the same as Armageddon. Armageddon comes from this word: מגידו Tel Megiddo, which is a mountain.
There now you can't say you never learned anything from this.

Basically, conclusion is the warranty is running out and things are falling apart as predicted...from here on out, there will be more drugs, surgeries, and, oh, yeah, more drugs. I'm in agony right now...will have to try to do my chapter tomorrow. Scheduled writing tonight is not going to happen.

A good horror writer could probably do something with this but nope not you.

I'm worried my tomaters that we FINALLY are going to...

"Tomaters"? I'm sorry, did you just say "tomaters"?
Tomaters. I just can't get over that.
Did you just get back from the crick where you were doing your wash by any chance?

I dreamed that I was cleaning house and suddenly Cthulhu manifested from under the house.

I wish Cthulhu would eat you. That's what you need. An ancient, unnamed horror eating your mortal shell.

I rebuked Cthulhu in the name of god.

Even in your dreams you suck holy shit that won't work.

My feet are throbbing, my hands are throbbing, I've got 2 ribs on the left side that feel as though someone broke them and they're being turned around, sharp edges out...the back is off the pain scales this morning, and it hurts to move my neck...and the hip and right shoulder are pulsing so loud I can almost hear it...

I bet if I cataloged every small pain I had it would be a list near this long.
Shit anyone's would be. Maybe if you focused on something worthwhile (like becoming a good horror author like you clearly aren't) then maybe you'd feel better.

I'm convinced that people are convinced that Horror is a dirty word....when you break it down from a genre as a whole to subject matter like particular monsters or twilight zone-ish plots suddenly they DO like horror.

... You don't know what horror is at all, do you?
I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries here because I am contending with a published author (fuck me).

You see I'm a gardener. I nurture and grow lots of things. Some of them more amazing than others. God has blessed me with many talents.

Too bad writing wasn't one of them, oh ho.

I would have had half a dozen of them had God saw fit to allow that.

This is such bizarre logic coming from someone whose recent book is about Sumerian (or some shit) gods. What, did God tell you to do that one, too?

With a spinal fusion and steel rods, I can't push the car...so I tell the kids to get out w/their stuff and go sit under a tree off on the other side of the ditch...because now I'm shaking like a leaf [already feeling bad, the heat and no A/C added to the problem...then of course, I had a heat flash....my feet are bright freaking red...]

Well with that Negative Nancy attitude I guess you couldn't push a car. What did the Little Engine That Could say? "I think I can, I think I can!"
While I would continue with this fascinating tale of being stranded in the middle of civilization I have things I'd rather be doing.