COCK

Here's me when I found out my 2 hour class was cancelled today:

But then hold on: not allowed to leave early.

But you know that's ok because this gives me ample time to get this bullshit out of the way before Friiiiiday night starts.
So let's do Dear Abby since we did Dear Annie last time. Gotta finish our rounds I figure.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing my boyfriend for five months. He still has some of his ex-girlfriend's lingerie in his dresser.

 Wear it for him.
He's hoping to do some fucked up shit while you pretend to be his ex-girlfriend so he can work out some unresolved issues.
I feel a good girlfriend would help a brother out.

Would it be inappropriate for me to throw away these "trinkets" without consulting him?  

He probably just wants to be pegged while wearing them.
What a homo.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently told by a neighbor that if he wasn't married, he would make a pass at me. 

Yeah man bitches will do that in this country and not tell you.
Hey I have a boyfriend is that ok
fucking I dunno what's he like
oh he's in a gang
nope.jpg.avi
that's a true story.

DEAR ABBY: I met a guy four months ago. Our relationship is new and pretty casual for the most part. We like each other's company and spend nights together, but when we're intimate, he keeps his clothes on -- boxers and all. He is only 26, but he has told me about past relationships, so I know he has had experience.
Over the past two years he has lost almost 100 pounds. He looks great now -- healthy and toned. I have seen him get in and out of the shower. (I noticed a little excess skin on his stomach, but not much.) It's really weird. I don't feel comfortable taking my own clothes off when he doesn't.
This isn't exactly a deal breaker for me, as I obviously am attracted to him. I just would like him to be comfortable with me. Should I address this with him, and if so, how? Or should I just leave it be for now? -- AWKWARD SITUATION IN GEORGIA

lol Georgia
kindly tell your cousin to put on a bathrobe and I'll tell you what you should do.
What you should do is
I have absolutely no fucking idea. Who cares? In the real of problems in the world this somehow ranks below my current biggest problem which is there are crumbs in the kitchen I have to Swiffer up tonight.
It must be tonight or the cockroaches will return.
I have spent a great deal of time and effort and some money purging the filth from the apartment.

DEAR ABBY: I met a guy online. We have been dating for some time now. We have a wonderful connection and have our dates on Skype. The problem is, we have never met in person.
Every time we plan on meeting, he shuts up for a time, isn't reachable, then suddenly reappears and makes excuses, asking me to forgive him and plan another meeting. Should I still believe this will happen anytime soon? -- LEFT HANGING IN NAIROBI

They have the internet in Nairobi?
Listen, baby, get on an airplane and come here. I'll take care of you.

DEAR ABBY: Lately I have been having problems with my live-in boyfriend, "Ethan." We fight about everything, and he refuses to admit when he's wrong. Ethan has been sleeping on the couch for a week waiting for me to take the first step and reconcile.
He isn't working and I am, and that is probably what has him so mad. I pay all the bills, and he thinks I feel superior because I'm bringing in money and he's not.
We argue day and night, swear and scream at each other, and he does not appreciate everything I'm doing so we can survive. I have two daughters, he has one, and I'm supporting all of us.

Top lel
Sounds like
sounds like you're pretty fucked.

Do you think it's a good idea for us to have a baby? Ethan is desperate for a child with me

Do I think it's a good idea for you to have a baby?
No I don't.
In fact I think you should have your existing children taken from you and airlifted to Africa to be raised by gorillas.
They'd probably have a better chance at a normal life.
The fact you even need help making a serious decision like that tells me you're not emotionally responsible enough to do it and that's really shocking considering the fact you already have two children.
The other amazing thing is your boyfriend is somehow less responsible than you.

DEAR MARY JANE: Not only do I think it's not a good idea, but I think it's a terrible idea. Babies are expensive, and you're already carrying a heavy load. I suspect that Ethan thinks a baby will fix what's wrong in your relationship, but he's wrong. Don't do it! It would be a huge mistake.

At least Abby got the right idea.
Not passionate enough of a response but ok.

DEAR ABBY: I have an attractive friend who was bypassed for a front-office promotion. "Miranda" is pleasant, clean, efficient, energetic and had the same qualifications as the individual who was promoted. A management team member confided that the reason for Miranda's lack of advancement "might" be due to the numerous tattoos -- difficult to cover -- on her arms and wrists, which the manager said isn't the image the business wants to convey.
Is this discrimination?

Yeah totally. You're not allowed to discriminate just because she's retarded.
God in my brain I can hear how this bitch asked this question.
"Is this, like, discrimination?" with too much upward inflection her voice.
God I want to murder her.

I think it's unfair because Miranda is a good worker. She keeps asking me if I have any ideas why she was bypassed. Should I tell her? I don't want to violate the manager's faith in my confidentiality, even though I will be retiring soon.

The corporate image doesn't include prostitutes with finger tattoos and tongue piercings.
Sadly.
Anyway I am done with this bullshit
fuck blogs
I'm going to go buy bread and snacks then I'm going home and playing video games.

Thanks for fucking nothing, Dreamwidth

Who thought it was a good idea to let Flash load on the front page of Dreamwidth?
Know what isn't jarring in the slightest?
15 Youtube videos I can't turn off playing at once.
Like look I get it you cunts want to post your little social justice garbage from Youtube on your useless blogs but the administrators of Dreamwidth should have exercised some common sense and disabled that for the front page.
It was so bad I had to go to Livejournal which I see has had a facelift and now lists the top 15 most popular blogs of the day in a ticker.
This is The Watchtower of Destruction which by Livejournal's undoubtedly fucked up metric is the third best blog on Livejournal today.
I think you'll shortly see why I describe their metric as fucked up.
Or maybe it's right on the money. Christ knows how hard it must have been to sort this garbage.

The Official Ferrett "Ask Me Anything" Thread

I do this when I have a lot of Tedious Stuff to do at work, but don't have the time to write a real essay.  So.  Here's how it works:

Ask me a real question. On any topic. I'll do my best to answer honestly. 

Yeah I have a question
how fucking self important are you that you think I care about your opinion?

So my essay “Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have (Fucking) Awesome Sex” was reposted at The Good Men Project, and now it’s all over the net.  Over 31,000 people have “liked” it on Facebook, and I’ve gotten requests for interviews.  (Sadly, all on a weekend I’m presenting at the Geeky Kink Event, so I’m booked.)  And with this comes a lot of weird emotions:

You wrote an essay about how you hope your daughter gets boned?
Dude.
Wouldn't most fathers just acknowledge that's what'll happen?
Why do you have to write an essay on it?
Makes me think you're internalizing part of it.
Son or daughter my child is getting a proper imperial education.
You know like exactly what doesn't exist anymore.
Dear Daughter,
Sex is a weapon.
Humanity better hope I have sons because I don't think the world is ready for a girl version of Julius Caesar.
Boring article on why Dungeons and Dragons is gay (as if I didn't already know)--

Next weekend, I’ll be attending the Geeky Kink Event in Rhode Island – if you’ll recall, they’re the clash of nerd and kink culture that has the TARDIS bondage box, the ball pit, and the Sensory Deprivation Companion Cube, among many other crazy sexy mashups.  I’m so psyched, as friends have told me this is one of the most awesome cons ever.

Dr. Who bondage.
Good.
Can't two people just fuck anymore?
With handcuffs in this case?
Why does it have to be ZAAAANY FANDOM bullshit?

I’ve discovered that my feeling of being a Real Writer is ephemeral, easily stolen.  It comes for a few minutes after I’ve been published in a nice magazine, flares for a day or two when I get a kind review, and the Nebula kept it stoked for like a month.

Motherfucker won a Nebula.
Guess it's not too hard to win one anymore.
A boring article about why people are whining cunts--
Speaking of is your body ready for the return of FFXIV?
SOON.
Been almost a year since I got to level Edie.
Can't wait to show them the true meaning of war.
Gotta get that new class too
going to be fucking sweet.
Arcanist.
I'd trust someone like her with an occupation with the job of "arcanist".
Anyway fuck this stupid blog I'm going to bed.

NO, GOOD

FRONT PAGE OF DREAMWIDTH: 5 DIFFERENT AUDIO FILES PLAYING AT ONCE.
Thanks a lot, Dreamwidth cunts.
I really need to see and hear your ignorant opinions.
Google just needs to get smell-o-vision together and I can enjoy you on all channels.
Maybe a plug in the base of my skull so you can just inject how much of a fucking cunt you are right into the core of my brain.
A little deep gray matter suppository.
Awww yeah lemme ride that I/O.
Anyway I pulled this blog basically at random just to stop the Dreamwidth front page so let's see how this goes.

And... Hm. I think anyone who reads my academic blogging knows by now that I don't hold with the idea of anything not internet-related being more "real", and when people get all smug and self-satisfied about time spent offline - whatever that even means - I want to punch their eyes, but it's frankly been weirdly nice the last few days, being generally not here. Having solid reasons to not write or read things or work on books or do tags. Just fucking unpacking and cleaning and listening to audiobooks and being in our place. 

>The internet has caused us to subtly redefine what we consider real
>this issue has serious ramifications for how we perceive reality
>this dumb slut's solution is to threaten to punch people in the eyes
YOU CAN BUY
NON-REAL THINGS IN VIDEO GAMES WITH REAL MONEY.
HOW DO WE DEFINE VALUE?
BEING A SMUG SLUT ABOUT THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER.

It has nothing to do with online vs offline, really. It's just that so much of what I do is digital in nature. So when that aspect of my life is gone, everything gets much simpler. I'll be getting back to work on all that shit soon, and it's not like I DON'T MISS YOU INTERNET, but yeah. In some ways the last week has been beyond exhausting. In others it's been a recharge. 

She talks like she's some big web presence. Like she manages the most popular website on the internet or she's some kind of Youtube celebrity.
You jerk off to Dr. Who fanfiction, probably. Don't act like what you're doing online is somehow more important than what you're doing offline.
Protip: your entire existence is irrelevant.
You are a temporary collection of atoms that will soon disperse for eternity back into the ether never to arrange themselves in that same pattern again.
Every single atom in your body is recycled every five years.
What defines "you" is an increasingly tenuous, retreating idea the more thought you put into it.
Or we could talk about sexism in video games.

Finally, this week I got really annoyed about sexism and video games. Partially inspired by a Thing That Happened in Bioshock Infinite but by no means confined to that. 

OH NO.
AN ACTIVITY NOT CATERED TO MY TARGET GROUP DIDN'T CATER TO ME!
Have you wahms ever considered it's the games you play and not sexism at all?
The typical games you play include such heavy hitting issues as:
colorful color matching
what if you could race mix with aliens or have gay sex on demand?

 the games I play include such heavy hitting issues as:
what is the true nature of man?
what does it mean to be human?
what defines a memory?
You know when I was going through teacher school the most common argument was that "why" was a deeper question than "what".
The more I think about shit the more I realize if you can actually define "what" in an intelligent matter you've already answered everything else.

My proportions are perfect. Perfect is a slippery term; rest assured that there have been teams and focus groups and more focus groups and round after round of men with impressive cars making comments and more teams and redrafts and here we are and here I am, exactly as we have determined you want me.

If I’m not perfect, you can mod me.

If only real life were that simple.

You always say I when you do something. Never he. I killed a bunch of zombies. I got a wicked combo. I jumped a goddamn ice cream truck over a plane. I punched a dragon to death. I was so close to the next checkpoint and then I got sniped in the fucking head. It’s always you.

They’ve gotten a lot of things wrong over the years. Being – sometimes quite literally – a feature of the landscape, I’ve seen it all. Most of us remember Columbine but that was an old story even then. But there’s something else there. It is, indeed, you. You do these things, you make choices, you control – to the extent that the design will let you – and you kill and destroy and possess. You are the subject in this sentence. Not he. Not they. Certainly not her.

You.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Somehow my talk about defining yourself through atoms came out more coherent.

You need to reevaluate your writing ability.

The outcome—a not-guilty verdict for Zimmerman— suggests that Zimmerman did experience a dangerous situation, and his actions—fatally shooting 17 year old Trayvon Martin—were justifiable. To be fair, the verdict technically says that there is a “shadow of a doubt” surrounding Zimmerman’s actual threat level, but the fact remains that 1) Trayvon did not get the benefit of any sort of doubt, and 2) Zimmerman’s innocence necessarily implies a degree of guilt for Martin. This is not to say the verdict was legally wrong. Rather, it is to say that the law needs to be examined in a more critical light.

Not really. You had two options: fuck with him in some capacity (jail, execution, whatever) or let him go. The law states that you can only do the latter if it is beyond a shadow of a doubt that a crime has been committed. 

Two people were party to the event and one of them is dead.

There was no further evidence of foul play and it apparently looked like a case of self defense.

How can you examine the law in more critical light?
What possible steps are there you would rather take?

4000 years of legal code is wrong?

This isn’t fair.

Since when was life ever fair, child? Life is cruel. Life is a mad bitch who spits you into the world, bloody and screaming and drowning in air, and then never forgives you for it. Life is a ravening demon that eats you, cell by cell, and grinds your bones between its teeth. Life drinks your hot blood until your veins crack like dry riverbeds. The greatest lie you have ever been told is that life and death are different things.

And life is also your dear mother, who loves you and wants to see you grow. Growth is painful. But we must all do it anyway.

You are strong enough for this. You are stronger than you know.

Is that fucking dialogue in a book you're writing?
For serious? 

Here let me rewrite this scene for you:

"This isn't fair"

"Sucks shit, huh?"

There you go.

I have fixed your dialogue.

The reduction of complex human identities to sex acts is essentializing. It’s dehumanizing. I’m guessing that most of us have heard someone at some point say something like “I have nothing against those gays. I just don’t want them flaunting it or anything.” Which really means I want them invisible. I don’t want to have to confront the fact that they exist because they threaten me.

If you’re okay with two gay guys walking down the street together but you freak out when you see them making out, yeah, I’m going to call you homophobic. Doesn’t mean you’re an awful person, but you do have some homophobia going on there and maybe you should look to it. By the same token, if you find lady parts viscerally icky – to the point where you say you want to be warned about it, to the point where you call it things like shocking – I’m going to go out on a limb and say you have some internalized misogyny happening.

>writing sex scenes at all

Protip: greatest living author William Gibson spends on average two whole sentences describing sex! 

Oh yeah that's right: the author whose work is sometimes described as "oversexed" barely even talks about it.

You see when you have actual talent--

that is, you're good at something and not a pretentious, whining cunt--

you can imply a lot with a few words.

When I write about drones, I’m not writing about the MQ-1 Predator or the RQ-4 Global Hawk or the Wasp III. I’m writing about that archetype, that nebulous concept that can accommodate any number of assumptions and ideas about what a drone is. That’s why, in my Clarkesworld story, I write:

Hovering over your bed, all sleek chrome and black angles that defer the gaze of radar. It’s a cultural amalgamation of one hundred years of surveillance. There’s safety in its vagueness. It resists definition. This is a huge part of its power. This is a huge part of its appeal.

I think one of the reasons why we find drones so powerful as a concept is that vagueness, that potential for massive accommodation. It’s also one of the things that makes a drone powerful as a literary device. It’s something that can be written about, but not directly; one writes through it in order to write about other things.

Are you fucking stupid?
No, dummy, the reason people like/fear/whatever drones is because they'd be everywhere.

I'm almost 50k words into this thing, which means we have - according to my calculations - reached the approximate halfway point. I know it's slightly risky business to talk about a book in progress, especially given that it may look very different by the time it's published, but I do think there are some things I can say about it with a particular degree of certainty. Which is... pretty certain.

Apparently I'm the only person who says "it's over when it's over."

What'd authors do before you had electronic word counting?

It's much darker. The body count at the end of Line and Orbit was pretty high - we're talking about something like a thousand people or so - and not as many people have died so far in Fall and Rising, but I think by the end Line and Orbit will have been beaten. 

Lol confusing body count with darkness or edginess. 

Quick, pop quiz: what does 1000 people dying look like?

Protip: most people haven't even seen one person die violently so throwing a big fuck off number like 1000 out there makes it sound especially stupid and like a guarantee you'll lose your audience.

I was watching Star Wars: Episode One the other day - yes, I realize that it was a very questionable decision, but hey, we had the Rifftrax - and I noticed something I hadn't before. (By the way, Episode One is actually a great and massive lesson on how not to write a story. I learn new things every time I watch it. I strongly believe that every writer should.) Anyway, what I noticed was that, although this is a movie that ostensibly deals with some Very Serious Themes - themes like slavery and the privation of massive numbers of people and war and death - you see hardly any of the characters really suffering. Nothing truly bad happens to any of them,

>nothing truly bad happens

>10 year old kid gets separated from his mother possibly forever

>guy gets stabbed in the chest with a light saber

>guy gets cut in half and thrown down a space mineshaft 

yeah you're right nothing bad happens.

Just because the writing sucks and they weren't written with any emotion or feeling doesn't mean nothing bad happened.

and you have fucking Jar Jar Binks running around being a racist clown in the middle of a battle where people are dying so when something like the death of Qui-Gon Jinn happens, it has no narrative weight. Nothing does. Everyone is basically safe. You never see anyone really suffer, so you never get the sense that anything meaningful is at stake.

Of course, Lucas also can't write suffering for shit. Watch the other two prequels if you don't believe me. I'm telling you, they're a giant storytelling master class.

So people need to suffer. People you care about need to suffer. Otherwise there's no point. And we're working up to a pretty big climax in the third and final book. So people are going to be hurting.
If the primary theme of Line and Orbit was ecology (and how family kind of sucks sometimes) the primary theme of Fall and Rising appears to be terrorism. 

It appears to be terrorism.

You're not sure.

It's a story you're writing and yet you're unsure of the themes.

And you're lecturing me on how to write?

Also gee a dark scifi/fantasy kinda story with a strong air of mysticism and its main theme is ecology?
Wonder where I've heard that one before, dipshit?

Protip 4: if you're going to rip off scifi you might want to make sure the words "best selling science fiction novel in the world" don't appear in the Wikipedia page for it.

The trees thinned out around her, the path widening, and then they fell away entirely and she came out into the fields, the grass whispering in the breeze and carrying the sweet smell of heather and the bracken that grew at the edge of the wood, mixed with the headier scent of honeysuckle. The light of the sunlamps was deepening into afternoon, and for a moment Nkiruka stood, breathing it in. She tilted her head back. Far above her, through the transparent ceiling, the stars shone in the night that went on forever.

She had not been born on Ashwina but on Suzaku, where the High Fields were drier and faded into patches of red desert, and the Arched Halls were--strangely--lusher and more humid, more like what people described as the equatorial jungles of Terra. She had grown up in those Fields and those Halls, had carried their dust and drifting pollen within her when she came to Ashwina to learn how to fight, to dance the death dances, to pilot an escort fighter. It had been an adjustment but she had made it. She would never love these lands the way she loved the lands that rested at the top of Suzaku’s great bulk, but she had grown to love them all the same.

Anything growing. Miracles in the black.

Brilliant.

I especially liked your description of the ecology.

The ecology of an alien planet that is apparently directly analogous to Earth.

Sort of makes you stop and wonder why the story isn't just set on Holy Terra in the first place.

It could have been going from that.

Also what the fuck does "miracles in black" mean?

okay so I had a great Christmas and then Publisher's Weekly gave my goddamn novel a fucking starred review

Moraine (In the Pale Moonlight) and debut author Soem collaborate on a deliciously fulfilling gay sci-fi romance...Readers will fall for the engaging dialogue, wonderfully fleshed-out characters, a sexy and realistic romance, fully realized world-building, and a genuinely interesting science fictional core issue to work through. This phenomenal novel marks Moraine and Soem as authors to watch.

OKAY SO THAT HAPPENED

"Gay scifi romance"
Basically if you like a little more queer in your SF this is probably something you want to buy.
Well count me on board then HAR HAR HUR
fuck blogs.

;

From my heart and from my hand
why don't people understand
my intention?
Weird science

I've talked about my dark nature before, or if I haven't, I've always been meaning to.

I have a lot of hurtful and angry thoughts in my head, for some reason. 

Harness them.

And they always seem to reappear at random times during the day, as if I have some mood disorder or something. I don't, but it does seem like that (not to mention that it does run in my family). The randomness is baffling; sometimes I have a near-constant rage that lasts for weeks, and other times months will go by where I'm barely like that at all.

SCION OF THE BLOOD GOD.

For the longest time, I've wondered why I hate so many things, and why I'm almost addicted to these thoughts. And then yesterday, it hit me: I'm the kind of person that thrives off of negative energy. I get some sort of high from not only the suffering of others, but also from myself.

LET THE GALAXY BURN
sorry what's happening?
Lots of emo whining and I'm turning into a Chaos Lord over here.

I don't know if that makes me a bad person by default. I don't particularly want to hurt people; I just think about it a lot. I guess being dark is really from your thoughts and emotional dynamics alone.

EMBRACE CHAOS.

I applied to two jobs today; one at Hastings and one at Winco.

Oh yeah prepare fr semicolons like a motherfucker.
None of them used properly, of course.

Not much to do recently. I am going to meet a professor to talk about philosophy, though. He works at the Christian college on main street, so that might be interesting.

Is this going to be one of those blogs where you feel all dark and edgy but it might anger God?
Also you whine about your lack of employment?
I've already read you whinging about that so I know that's coming.
Look motherfucker, Percy Bysshe Shelley (husband of Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein) has the right of it:

If he is infinitely good, what reason should we have to fear him? If he is infinitely wise, what doubts should we have concerning our future? If he knows all, why warn him of our needs and fatigue him with our prayers? If he is everywhere, why erect temples to him? If he is just, why fear that he will punish the creatures that he has filled with weaknesses? If he is inconceivable, why occupy ourselves with him? ... And if he has spoken, why is the world not convinced?

So don't think about shit plz.
I call that quote the "Catechism of the Doubtful" incidentally.
I'm sure it has a name but whatever.

I was alcohol-free the last night, as well. Although I did decide to have a cigar. I only smoke those occasionally. It was pleasant until I got about three-quarters of it down; after that, I was very agitated and stimulated. I like the calm it provides, though. I've noticed that when I get drunk, all I do is listen to music and play computer games. When I smoke, I actually listen to good music and I feel like writing. I've written while drunk before; I get mixed results from that.

That's funny even when I don't drink that's about all I do.
Weird.

 I sent some philosophy papers to a person I met at a church last Sunday. Hopefully he will like them. I currently read and write philosophy; I showed my therapist the paper I wrote yesterday and she was impressed.

Therapist has to be impressed. If she says it sucks you'll kill yourself and she goes to prison.
You need a unbiased audience.
Like me.
I just assume everything is shit until it can prove otherwise.
Oh wow here's a "what kind of Dungeons and Dragons character are you?" quiz.
The burning question in my mind. Let's see--

True Neutral Elf Sorcerer/Rogue (2nd/1st Level)


Ability Scores:
Strength- 13
Dexterity- 12
Constitution- 12
Intelligence- 15
Wisdom- 16
Charisma- 14

Or homosexual, as that's how I'm interpreting this.
Thank you for nothing.
Incidentally 12 is average in D&D and 18 is considered borderline superhuman.
14 is considered a noteworthy score.

I saw my psychiatrist today, and looked at the records from when I was in the psych ward last time. It was very interesting, and more accurate than I thought it would be. I told her that the Olanzapine was effective so we decided that I would stay on it.

CCCCCCCCRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY.
I woke up at 4 am today.

I think it is because I drink too much beer, but I could be wrong about that. I'm definitely going to start cutting down on that, though. I also had some Blue Stilton before I went to bed, in order to have a lucid dream.
>Psych ward
>alcoholic
>let me try lucid dreaming
no that's bound to go well.

Feeling slightly uneasy right now; I almost got T-Boned by an Asian driver today. Figures. 

As Monday can attest Asian bitches are crazy.
Run a check.

I had more than a few beers (PBR) last night to cure myself of the anxiety; it worked, but I ended up saying some crazy shit to my roommate. He eventually asked if this was the way my father talked to me, and I noticed that it was. He noted that I have a lot of unresolved issues. I don't blame him.

I'm going to stop drinking again; it doesn't work in the long term. And I'll get internet again at the apartment, too.

Literally the fifteenth time she's said "I'm going to stop drinking."
I don't think it's working.

God, fuck my life.

In the late afternoon yesterday I took a Sudafed, thinking that it would help my headache and eyes. Turns out, it didn't; it just made me all shaky, scatterbrained, paranoid and anxious.

Yeah the Sudafed is to blame.
Clearly.
This is a man, incidentally.
I was kind of thinking that but I didn't want to commit.

Well, I haven't posted in a long time.

Don't feel too bad, Dreamwidth. I don't even care about Livejournal anymore.

Looking back on my previous posts, both here and on Livejournal, I can't help but to feel like a faggot. It is totally all my fault, though.

Well--
at least you know.
I feel like this is the first time this has ever happened.
We can probably pack it up, honestly.
If there is a theme to this blog it would be "you're a faggot and it's 100% your fault."
So thanks I guess?

I feel as if I have reached nirvana.

I don't desire anything. I don't aspire to anything. I don't need anything to happen. I simply need to exist, and I am fine.

So what's with all the fucking whining?
Also that's not really the definition of Nirvana so whatever bro.

I've also been playing PSO again; very fun and nostalgic.

Hey man.
He likes Phantasy Star Online and realized he was a faggot and it's his fault.
How bad can he be?

I had a nice dinner with my brother yesterday (that he made himself) and he was telling me a lot of things about SSI that I actually agreed with. He sees SSI as being an appropriate short-term solution but that I need to do something else for the long term, and he believes that it is getting a PhD, and not writing. 

You're not meant to write and I can tell you why in the very next post.

I think that I've finally come to an answer, though. With the help of my sister, I've realized that I need to be on SSI, instead of working a standard job. I simply don't have the energy or constitution for a standard 9-to-5; I get too tired and such a job would suck the very life out of me. If I had to do it, there would be nothing left of me; no passions, no interests, essentially no life.

You have to be in the shit to be a writer.
Can't take the easy way out.
You have to get a will of iron first and then you can write.
I did it.
I went to a hood school to student teach
it fucking sucked
then I put salad on a shelf for a year and it fucking sucked
now I'm a substitute teacher. Is it good?
I can't say because my main reference point is the proverbial nightmare the last two things were.
And with all that shit even I'm not yet ready to be the greatest living author.
It takes a lot of shit, man.

I've been proofreading some more of my writing, and that is really it. Not really doing much else, don't have the mental energy or interest.

 Well with that no job to work and free money from the government I can see why you'd be taxed.
You do realize willpower is a skill you have to cultivate, right?
I didn't just get here by nature. I had to come home from my shitty internship and say "oh it's Wednesday guess I should update this mess" and I'd fucking do it because I'm hardcore.
I missed days, sure, but I updated usually.

I'm just so tired. I've tried as hard as I can, and nothing has ever worked out to the point where life is actually worth living. This just makes me so embittered. I don't even desire or need that much, and yet I'm actively denied some of the very basic things needed to be successful in life. They say that it is because I'm disabled, and perhaps I may be, but I really think it is because I'm discriminated against. But again, there is no way to prove it, and there is also no way that the SSI people are going to care about that, so if I don't get on SSI, I'm going to be fucking stuck doing shit part-time jobs for the rest of my life when I have the intelligence to do things that are far greater than that, and yet can't due to other people's bigotry.

If you're a white man you're fine.
You're keeping you down.
That's exactly why you didn't get it: "I don't need it that much."
Even if you don't and know it act like your life hinges on you doing that.
I had a job interview recently and I barely missed getting the job over someone else.
Did I want the job?
If I adopt your attitude no.
Working sucks and I'd rather play video games all day but the way forward was to get that job and I didn't get it.
I'm pissed but what can you do
BALLS OUT AND TRY AGAIN.
Unlike you I know the path to glory is treacherous and miserable at first.

I just don't understand it. Very little is wrong with me outside of having a different personality, I mean I can do the jobs just fine. But people get offended by that for some reason.

That's a problem, dipshit. Half of the game is fitting in.
Why the fuck do you think you can write if you can't even understand how these plebeians work?

If society is going to do this to me, then they deserve to have me leech off of them by being on SSI. I'm just really fucking angry right now.

Yeah you're welcome.
Asshole.

I'm working on my writing a bit more. I use 750words.com for it, and it is actually a really good tool to use. It gives you statistics and overall word count and everything. Apparently, my writing is usually past-oriented. Also when I write sex scenes, the highest rating I've ever gotten is PG-13.

Har needing tools to gauge your writing.

I'm pretty sure that I've reached that point.

I now am fully aware that I really am disabled, and that I can barely function. I don't have the focus or the energy to do the things that are necessary for me to thrive like anyone else. I wish that I did, but I do not. I have a broken brain that gets in the way of me functioning normally. Because of all this, I cannot have a full-time job and make enough money for myself. I cannot survive on my own.

I feel like a tard. An invalid. A parasite who can't hold his own. I need assistance, and that is really hard to accept, especially since very little is wrong with me intellectually. I just am sick and tired of busting my ass and really not even making it on my own in life; I know that if I don't get help, I will wear out, sooner or later.

I just want to retire, and accept myself for my flaws. The problem is that I don't know what to do with my life anymore, outside of writing. I don't know if I can achieve the important things that others can achieve. I wish that I didn't have the desire; I'm starting not to due to gradual apathy. I need to be constructive, but what can I possibly do? Maybe being on disability would be a nirvana of sorts.

I'm just in too much pain, and I want it to end. I struggle every day with the fear that I may never be able to survive in the long run; I live from paycheck to paycheck and my life is practically hanging on a thread. I need security, and I need a better life. And that is only going to come from either a full-time job or disability. It seems that only the latter is possible for me.

I just don't know how to cope.

Welcome to life, whiner.
Seriously who hasn't thought or felt this shit?
I feel this shit all the time and I'm basically a beneficent, Christ-like figure.

Yesterday, someone online called me crazy. That person wasn't the first, and probably won't be the last.

It was probably me somehow.
Oh shit it keeps happening.
Walked away for 7 hours.
Fuuuuuck.

SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF BLOG

"DISGRUNTLED GIRL".

Watch out, disgruntled white wahm!

Describes every blog ever pretty much except "gender confused lad (or gal)" and "boring guy".
Blah blah "people hate him" blah blah "wear a vest" blah blah...

"I don't think he can work. I don't think anyone can hire him... George is a pariah," his lawyer said.


So .. an armed outcast. That always ends well. 

Should have sentenced him to death, then.

A man with a gun and a sel-appointment to "the neighbordhood watch" gets out of his car when he's told not to to confront a younger man when he was told not to and kills the unarmed man with a gun.


6 women found this guy "Not Guilty".


Question: What is this going to be distracting us from?

6 WOMEN.
Also what is this distracting us from?
OH GEE I DON'T KNOW
MAYBE THAT WHOLE SNOWDEN THING?

I've been sitting around with this vague discontent. Really vague. It's like wanting to eat but not sure what and not being hungry in the first place and then wondering if you actually are hungry and are simply not paying attention or blocking it. 

Sure glad I picked this blog. Scrolling like a motherfucker already.
I'm here at work and the fucking thing won't open. I kinda need that.

There is no tech support for us on the weekend and during the week - they tell us to have our supervisor call in a ticket.

While I can get to the inbox if I need to, I need to get to the databases. This happened before during effing Xmas.
Sigh I've been trying for over 20 minutes. It's just sitting there saying "Loading". Earlier it .. simply closed after a bit and I had to kill the processes.
Sheesh.

WOMAN WORKING
BETTER FIX HER COMPUTER STAT
What irrelevant bullshit do you do, anyway?

A new trend among Japanese teenagers called oculolinctus, also known as "eyeball licking," or "worming," is currently sweeping across the internet in videos and photos

Oh.

The Japanese.


Again.

CHECK YOUR
FUCKING PRIVILEGE.
Shouldn't she, though?
Like imagine I said
"Oh.
The African Americans.
Again."
Imagine the fallout from the literally fives of people that read this.

Sunday we watched Battleship, which - Avery & Ricardo: you suck for recommending this. Some said the Science was suspect, others said the story was suspect. The whole thing blew monkey chunks. The lead was simply not someone you can like. Rhianna was a Marine. No wait, she's Navy. No wait - Marines. Hang on, she's a WySO. No wait - she's a heavy gunner. Ok she is an assault .. I give up. They just smeared her all over the screen and yet gave her very very few lines. She was pretty good, though.
When you give command of a US naval ship over to the Japanese - isn't that technically surrendering?

I know I spent half of last post lambasting a movie about giant CGI robots but are you seriously finding fault in the movie based on a board game?
Like what the fuck did you think would happen?

From this article:
New York Magazine’s The Cut coined the term “Netflix Adultery,” the act of binge-watching TV episodes ahead of your significant other when you promised them you’d watch together. Have you been a victim of this horrendous crime? According to Netflix’s survey of 2000 American adults, “12 percent confessed to watching ahead on TV shows they were supposed to save to watch with their partners. ” Also, “ten percent admitted to being the victim of Netflix adultery, which means either 2 percent are blissfully unaware of their partners’ indiscretions, or the cheaters are hitting multiple victims.”

HOLY SHIT.
No wonder divorce rates are 50%!
Also what kind of slob can't wait for their chick to get ready to watch it?
Isn't that a thing couples do?
Watch crap together?
And make a big deal out of it?
Or am I crazy?

........ talk about a mountain out of a molehill. I'm certain this is light hearted, but I have heard of people getting honestly upset and hurt by this. Something about "lack of commitment" or "the principle of the matter"..
How about maybe you don't shut up during a show (blurting what you think is about to happen out loud, cracking a joke and turning to get acknowledgement) and they want to watch it in peace? Or maybe they are hard of hearing and after have a need to rewatch a show to catch what was missed (cough Hannibal cough). My roommates and I can attest - there be some mumbling on there. 

Holy shit maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high.
Grow up, people.
If I had a girlfriend and we watched TV together (ha ha me watching TV) and I found out she'd watched it ahead of me I'd be pissed she didn't spare me the misery of having to watch TV.

Last night Nikki and I suddenly had a pitched battle with a large roach (where the cats were NO help). No matter how hard Nikki hit it with her shoe, it merely stunned it.

>not skewering it and lighting it on fire
women.

I eventually captured it with a large amount of toilet paper. As I sent it to a watery grave, I heard Nikki exclaim "Oh god there's a baby one."

LET THE PROMETHEUM BURN IT TO A CINDER.

This morning, as Kevin and I were discussing a potential health issue on my part in the bathroom, I saw another giant crawling across the wall; as if sneaking up to drop on Kevin.
So I made the decision today to bugbomb the house instead of buying my prescriptions. 

Infestation.
The only solution is to torch the place and start anew.
Give the hated xenos no succor.
Let come what may.

We have to stay out in the garage and backyard area for the next 2 hours. 4 people, 5 cats and 1 farting pitbull that totally does not prefer the outdoors. We've got 2 fans, a small ac unit and a PS3 that's currently applying updates for the past 4-6 months. I'm on my work laptop, may as well knock out a few things while waiting.

A foe without shelter is without hope.
Here's a video of a pitbull keeping a drawer filled with knives closed from a toddler trying to open it.
It keeps looking at whoever is holding the camera like "please God do something with this kid".
In my infinite wisdom I have decided the pitbull is a better parent and shall be given the child to raise.
Oh God this person is Texan.
That explains it all, really.
Anyway fuck the internet
fuck the police
fuck blogs

Gaben

STEAAAAAAAAAAAM SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE
My wallet is ready, Gaben. Please take all my money.
Day 1 acquisitions: Rogue Legacy- AKA what if Rogue-likes weren't all fucking gay and stupid and Hotline Miami- AKA what happened if the 80s never ended and turned into a surreal horror story.
Anyway Dreamwidth was playing some whiny music I couldn't find the source of (I think some twat uploaded it and set it to autoplay so the main page was just playing it by default) but none of that matters because this blog comes via request.
Yeah I'm popular enough to get requests.
Anyway I'm just waiting for the new Steam sales.

Holy mackerel, ya'll, I have ninety-nine volunteers for transcript work. I'm pretty sure that if we haven't broken some kind of Volunteer Transcripting Feminist Brigade then we will soon if I keep getting more folks on board. SOMEONE CALL GUINNESS.  

Transcribing the important texts.
Pop quiz, everyone: name one feminist author and one book she wrote.
Margaret Atwood doesn't count because that's just bondage fetishist writings masquerading as whining woman bullshit.

Yesterday, I noted that the farm bill had passed the House with no funding for food stamps. The expectation was that Republicans were wrenching the two apart in order to attack the food stamp program with deep cuts. And so it begins:

Yeah. Cut food stamps but continue subsidizing crops that don't need subsidized anymore.
Bang up job all around, retards.
We're saving money while losing even more money to shit we don't want to cut because we'd lose graft!
I say cut everything.
Man is a wolf to man, as the Romans used to say.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY THINKS PEOPLE ARE NOT ENTITLED TO FOOD.

Well I mean technically speaking you aren't entitled to anything. There was a time not too long ago where if you didn't grow/make money to buy your own food you were pretty much fucked. There was no social net to catch you.
I might contend with all of our progress and technology (which, like all great scifi authors, I believe hasn't set us as far apart from beasts as we like to believe it does) we should be a bit beyond letting people starve but trusting man to overcome is own nature to do so is a bit silly.
If I were people I'd try to endure and overcome because at the end of the day the only thing you can trust to get a job done right is you.

They think people are not entitled to jobs. They think people are not entitled to healthcare. They think people are not entitled to homes. They think people are not entitled to education. They think people are not entitled to safety. They think people are not entitled to equality. They think people are not entitled to vote. They think people are not entitled to agency. They think people are not entitled to any of what the baseline security of being a citizen in a wealthy democracy should guarantee.

Pretty sure the constitution entitles you to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't entitle you to any of the shit you just mentioned.
PURSUIT of happiness doesn't mean you'll achieve it.
It's like Steam achievements, man. Just because the game lists 60 achievements doesn't mean you'll get them all.
You gotta play it and do well.
Or if it's like most games beat the game then get really lucky with the rest.
This blog is really boring.
Why did this come requested?

[Content Note: Hostility to agency.]

What the fuck does that mean, exactly?

Hey, ya bunch of radical feminist weirdos! Long time no talk about LOVING AMERICA.

Man, all this abortion talk lately has really been getting under my skin. Along with three ticks I acquired while fishing with my best friend Dick Balzac last weekend, but I guess that ain't relevant right now. 

What the fuck does that mean?
I'm not reading all this.
More abortion shit I don't care about--

[Content Note: References to death and disaster.]

From a recent interview with British Cosmopolitan (What—did you think she would do an interview with NOT-British Cosmopolitan? You're so weird.):

    [Paltrow] disagrees with doctors who warn patients to avoid tanning. "We're human beings and the sun is the sun -- how can it be bad for you? I think we should all get sun and fresh air," the actress tells British Cosmopolitan. "I don't think anything that is natural can be bad for you -- it's really good to have at least 15 minutes of sun a day."

Well it does help with Vitamin D production.
She is right. Being outside 15 minutes probably won't kill you.
While I haven't been outside a contiguous 15 minutes in the last month that doesn't mean it's inherently harmful.
I just see no need to venture out.
She then proceeds to bitch for about five paragraphs about nature could conceivably harm you.
It's true it could but that's unlikely.
Being inside could harm you. You could accidentally swallow your own tongue if you contemplated how boring you are.

[Content Note: Fat bias; eliminationism; racism.]

What is eliminationism?
Sounds like something I need to be a part of.
Wikipedia defines eliminationism as:

Eliminationism is the belief that one's political opponents are "a cancer on the body politic that must be excised — either by separation from the public at large, through censorship or by outright extermination — in order to protect the purity of the nation".[1]

That gets a cool out of yes in my book.

Yesterday afternoon, I had the amazing opportunity to speak to a photography class taught by Shaker gwyllion about the Beauty Standard, culturally constructed norms, visibility, and transgressive/deviant beauty, specifically around fat bodies (although during the Q&A following my Skype talk I ended up talking a lot about other marginalized bodies, too, like trans* bodies, bodies with visible disabilities, etc.). 

What the shit?
If I majored in photography (I'd switch majors to something less useless) but if I majored in photography and that's what the class was about I'd walk the fuck out.
I'M TRYING
TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE A GODDAMN PICTURE.
I DON'T NEED THIS COW MOANING AT ME.

[Content note: Discussion of trans*phobia]

Gaben if this is the Steam sale today I think my wallet is going to come out largely intact.
75% off a game that barely fucking works.
COUNT ME THE FUCK IN!
50% off Fez, AKA pretentious hipster garbage!
HOLY SHIT.

[Content Note: Image of gun.]

The hilarious thing about this warning is I saw the gun before the warning.
Unless your monitor is especially small or you've configured your browser in a clever way you're almost guaranteed to have the gun and the warning on screen at the same time.

This weekend, after being friends online for a very long time, Jessica Luther (@scatx) and I met in person for the first time. And it was amazing. And we talked about all the things.

ALL THE THINGS THERE IT IS
I WAS WAITING
God that's the worst saying there is.
WE TALKED ABOUT ALL THE THINGS~
I can almost hear the annoying high pitched whine her voice hits to say that.
It really just needs an anime emoticon to bring my piss to a boil.
ALL THE THINGS ^.^
God I'm so fucking angry.

f you have appreciated being able to tune into Shakesville for coverage of the goings-on in Texas, or the recent Supreme Court decisions, or discussion of Paula Deen's racism free of fat hatred, ageism, and regionalism, please remember that Shakesville is run exclusively on donations. I would certainly appreciate your support, if you can afford to chip in. The donation link is in the sidebar to the right. 

Her blog is Shakesville.
She's asking for a handout.
Incidentally if you want to support the only guy who tells you how it is consider donating to Edie Finds a Corpse.

What is something you regularly do that people might consider "old fashioned?"

I'm not offended by everything I see or read.
I know, I know: way old fashioned but what can I say?

As for me, I still totes play my Atari 2600. For a long time, I was just super uncool. Now I'm a "retro gamer." LOL.

GRRRRL GAMER HERE

I don't use birth control.

I don't use birth control because I'm in a relationship with a man, and we would like to become pregnant. 

You mean you.
If he becomes pregnant that'd be worrying.

Two years ago, we spent a lot of time and money and tears trying to become pregnant through IVF -- a step we thought was necessary due to low sperm count after a vasectomy and vasectomy reversal -- but we didn't succeed. We didn't succeed because all the embryos we created ended up failing to thrive due to genetic abnormalities; the doctors decided that my husband and I were genetically incompatible to create healthy babies. 

Sounds like weak genes.
I think it'd be best if you adopted--
although your life outlook is an aberration, too.
Maybe cloying, crushing loneliness is best for you.
Fuck this gay earth.

It's back again

This feeling called "despair!"
I found a fanfiction blog of Super Robot Wars--
that's a thing you can write fanfiction about.
Super Robot Wars is basically a series of video games where a bunch of nerds in Japan got together in the late 80s and said "what if Getter Robo and Gundam took place in the same universe?" and has been continuing unmitigated ever since.
But now it includes Gundam and Voltron and Mazinger Z and Combattler V and tons of other shit.
Also original characters.
Basically it's a fanfiction video game series but it only involves giant fighting robots.
I'm rather fond of the series, honestly, but writing fanfiction about fanfiction is pretty fucking stupid and also gay.
I'm not sure why I'm talking about it because I'm not reviewing it because it'd only piss me off and I'd have to explain why it did so meaning no one would enjoy any aspect of it.
I just thought I'd inform the people it exists.
Speaking of unmitigated disasters--
this.

Happy solstice, darlings! I hope everyone stays unmelted/unfrozen as applicable in the coming months and gets to do some great seasonally-appropriate activities.


In other news, does anyone have recs for awesome Celtic music?

How self indulgent is that?
RECOMMEND ME CELTIC MUSIC.
What does that assume?
It assumes enough people read her shitty blog and care enough to actually say "oh yea, scheherezhad, here's some Celtic music I listen to!"
The percent of people that read this blog has to be nonexistant.
The number of people who listen to Celtic music is also nonexistant.
PUT THE TWO TOGETHER.
Incredibly she has a comment.
I can only think of two words for a comment: "fuck" and "off" but let's see.

Happy Solstice. 

Says Sperrywink, putting the bare minimum of effort into even acknowledging this is a paragraph.
Good job, really.

It's time to find myself something different to have for lunch at work. I've been carrying salads most days for the past...two months, maybe? And the last two mornings as I've stood in the kitchen, my face has involuntarily spasmed into a sneer of disgust when I reached for the veggies.

So I don't know what I'm going to switch to. I'm sick of just about everything I can think of that doesn't require cooking, and I hate cooking in our kitchen because there's no work space, so I just don't. Also I'm lazy. Also I try not to eat a lot of box meals or frozen meals anymore. And I'm kind of picky, to boot. That leaves, like, crackers and cheese, basically.

Oh, only delicious cheese and crackers for lunch?
Fucking woe betides you, I guess.

In other news, seriously Teen Wolf?

Within the first three episodes of the season, we have four dead bodies. Of them, three (3) are women.

I don't understand these fucking women whining about death in fiction.
These aren't real people.
Also every single one fancies herself the queen of nerds and a hardcore giiiiiiirl gamer xP to boot.
What fucking video games are you playing?
Three bodies?
I need ten times that body count to even acknowledge something is happening on my screen.
My FFXIV character kicked a guy so hard he lit on fire and one inch punched a guy in the solar plexus so hard his heart stopped.
That was the quest that introduced combat.
In the first twenty minutes of gameplay she reckt two dudes so hard their mothers were feeling the pain.
Also that's a smart move from two fucking sewer rats.
Rob the person that has literally killed gods.
Achievements for killing quintuple digits but these two sewer urchins have her number.
Brilliant.

Of these three, one is a black girl who didn't even get a fucking name, and one is a lesbian. (The other is a blonde white girl who disappeared from her own 17th birthday party. Who wants to guess which one of these deaths would get the most attention from the local media?)

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you?

Because I am not laughing.

Well you know it's like they say: it's hard to stop dunking when all you see are hoops.
I feel sick, honestly. You've fridged three women (and traumatized one's girlfriend) to advance the story of your (mostly white) male protagonists.
Other things my FFXIV character can do:
fists of fire
conjure giant ice meteors from space
illegal thaumaturgy
leap impossible distances into the stratosphere and goatse people on a giant fuck off severed claw of a dead god
but you know
the hapless bandits in the sewers think they're an even match.

In three episodes. And now I'm even sadder because I just thought, "this is something I'd expect from Supernatural."

Even aside from that, I feel like the plot is a goddamn mess half the time. I need to quit this show. (I can't even break up with it like I did Glee, because my emotional investment is rooted in fandom, not canon!)

I can't imagine even feeling these emotions about fiction.
If doing things in fiction is this awful then I'm a provably awful person because I have done some terrible things in fiction.
Hell Civilization alone makes me at least as bad as Hitler.
Actually EVE Online probably makes me a Hitler, too. I can only imagine what I've done to the poor people on the planets I use the planetary interaction on.
Probably some innocent tribe of some primitive whatever people and suddenly I land a robot army on their shit.
I'd feel bad about this shit but, you know, it ain't be real.

I feel I should mention that I was reading random Teen Wolf fics the other day, and I ended up reading one where--I am not even a little kidding--in the middle of sex, Stiles surprises Derek with an engagement ring that he had stored in his ass.

Yeah you can get married in FFXIV soon.
I had a few proposals but I think Edie is only married to conflict.
I think once your skill set includes efficacious thaumaturgical rites and martial arts akin to a Bruce Lee movie or Fist of the North Star you're officially beyond petty emotions like love and romance.

It was just stuck in there. Tied to a pen cap so he wouldn't lose it. And while he is fucking Derek he just reaches down to pull it out and is like, "let's get married now." As you do.

Well I don't know about you but that's where I hide all my valuables.

So I caught the gross man-cold my dad had last weekend. I've spent the past few days working, sleeping, and knitting in bed with Yu Yu Hakusho on. In the midst of the Dark Tournament right now (although currently taking a break for Hannibal). It's interesting to rewatch the series as a grown-ass person who has now done a lot more reading on gender, social justice, and media literacy.

As a social justice warrior she can see the obvious glaring problems of a fucking cartoon intended for teenage boys made in the mid-90s.
Bang up job, retard.

Janet Stephens is a forensic hair dresser. She recreates ancient hairstyles based on depictions from things like coins and portrait busts, using period-appropriate tools and extrapolated techniques. She got started in this when she started examining Roman portrait busts and determined that these elaborate styles were likely created with the women's own hair rather than, as popular theory suggested, by the use of wigs.

That's a job you can have.
Forensic hair dresser.
I hate to be that guy that shits on any sort of knowledge because you never know when that'll evolve into a technique to identify dead bodies or something like that but really who cares?
It was well understood that Roman busts were actual representations of real people and it was really their hair because, you know, THEY FUCKING WROTE DOWN WHAT THEY DID.
Even if they didn't it was well known Caesar didn't like the fact he was going bald and yet all of his busts are him as a baldo so clearly the Romans took realistic representation in busts seriously.

One time, several years ago, I was reading a fic. I had to give up when it, in all seriousness, used the phrase "synchronistic dance armies."

Not to be a dick about it but that sounds fucking rad.
Has anyone seen the preview for that indie game coming out, Crypt of the NecroDancer, speaking of?
That game looks amazing.

On my way home from work today, I briefly ended up behind a dickwad who was in such a huge hurry to get wherever ze was going that ze passed multiple vehicles on a narrow, winding access road with a double yellow line. 

>ze
fucking kill yourself I'm dead fucking serious.
Ze.
The grammatical thing to do is assume she.

Like, srsly? Probably wherever you're going is not important enough to endanger lives, okay person? And after that one, I was behind someone who had no damn idea where they were going, and so they also were driving dangerously. Awesome. :/

Ze was on hir way to hormone replacement therapy and privilege checking class so fuck yourself.

A Comprehensive List of Male Characters Who Appeal to Me and Are Not Broken or Fucked Up in Some Way:

• Evan Lorne

 Who?
What?

In other news, I was going to sign up for the newsletter on a site I was interested in following, but their process is problematic in several ways. I opted not to subscribe after all and emailed them to let them know why. Being asked to enter my email address four different times? 

OHHHH LORD I PRAY YOU GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO HELP ME CARRY ON
'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
TO WALK ALONG THE LONELY STREET OF DREAMS

Strike one. Gender field required and only options are "female," "male," and "couple"? Strike two. Required field called Salutation that only has options that are gendered forms of address or titles/ranks, with no neutral option or opt-out? Thanks for playing, but you struck out.

>not scrolling past the 47 other gender options to "cisgender" only to be told I'll be monitored to make sure I don't offend people
>2013

But back to paganism. I know I have quite a few people here on ye olde fliste who identify as pagan, but we very rarely talk about it. So I was thinking we could have a bit of a discussion post here? No pressure to participate, as there are lots of reasons people may not want to talk about their beliefs.

Here's what I think of every time I hear a bunch of snowflake "pagans" talking or see them writing shit:

This is going to descend so rapidly into goddess worship I can feel it.
Nope it's a boring post about the typical I'M WICCAN LOL xP
fucking people shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.

You know how sometimes you're reading a fic that's just...okay enough, and if it wasn't one of your pet pairings you'd probably quit reading? And then there's this one line that tanks the whole thing for you?

Yeah.

I was reading one of those, and the characters were trying to solve a problem. So one of them was sort of wondering aloud, asking if something was plausible and could maybe help them get things sorted. The other one replied with a line that was essentially, "Leave the thinking to the men-folk, sweet-cheeks."

I think my face actually turned into an angry tumblr gif at that moment.

Sound advice.

Remember in the 90s when people said "Poof! Be gone!"?

No?
What?
Literally no one in the history of earth has said that.

Today, all I've done is veg out and watch 90s video game-based movies. I've lounged through a triple feature of Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, and Double Dragon.

You know I gotta give you some credit at least.
Doing that has been known to kill people.
I myself wouldn't just casually sit through those three back to back.
I'd have to have suitable motivation like being drunk and with friends.
Or possibly dead.

SF was the strongest overall, I think. MK was weaker because it was more about the fighting and didn't do a lot of characterization, and the plot required more suspension of disbelief. DD was just so goofy I can't even honestly critique it.

Wow.
A movie about a fighting video game had too much fighting in it.
I can see where you'd want to waste time-- I mean spend time-- on characterization in a Mortal Kombat movie, though.
Remember the incredibly complex character motivation of Reptile?
So named because he had a reptile head.
Or my personal favorite: Sub-Zero.
Named, because, and hold on to your shit this is going to get really complex: he can freeze people.
Or the other ninja recolor, Scorpion?
Named Scorpion because--
actually come to think of it why the fuck was he named Scorpion?
Oh shit I never posted this.
Har har maybe someone will see it--
whoops.
Also my head hurts too much to update so enjoy your Friday update Monday, plebeians.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUMMER TIME

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Kinda missed this

Oh God Livejournal is so shit.
The blogs I've been doing lately are bad but they're lacking that certain LJ brand of bullshit.

Life of Pi. Finally.

I had read the book three years ago, yet remembered most of the details. 

I'm very, very glad that they didn't fill so much of the long spaces with needless dialogue, because it's being told by an older Pi (to...Yann Martel? I dunno, I missed the first fifteen minutes). It was incredibly faithful to the book.
Ahhhh.
This is what I was missing.
This cunt acting like everything in her life is so important.
The others had that too but at least they were ostensibly talking about politics which we've been indoctrinated to accept as important.
This is all that same weight just added to some bullshit movie no one cares about.

Friday was a long day.

After a school day of being singled out by sitting in the front and copying from Confetti's messy paper, Melody kneeled on the family couch,trying hard not to strain at her surrounds lest she hurt her eyes. She heard Treble alternate between tapping on a drum and banging on a piano.
So I spent like

I dunno
10 or so minutes sort of reading this and trying to figure out what it was.
Then I figured it out.
It's My Little Pony fanfiction.
OH YEAH.

What is your favorite word, and why?

Latin.
Gravitas.
No just kidding.
That was Keifer Sutherland's answer.
What a pretentious twat.
Don't know what it means?
Exactly what his acting has a comical amount of.

 I've always liked academy, moniker, dramaturgy (it's a word. Really.), discord, and confirm.


No pun intended.

... No pun intended.
That's good because you didn't make one.
What’s the coolest way you’ve celebrated your birthday?
Writer's block.
Man.
It's almost nostalgic.

By going to Wal-Mart until 12 am, New Year's Day.

What the fuck
That's a birthday present?
Not only is it a birthday present
it's the best birthday ever?
Fucking
really?

Which book would you want to see turned into a videogame?

Dynasty Warriors: Iliad.
Fund it, Toei. 

Ender's Game. Not all of these eternal sequels - though maybe it'd be easier to follow the story...but the first one would be extraordinary as a video game.

Ender's Game is already about a video game though--
and the game described is basically an RTS so no.
Fuck you.
Of course the game turns out to be real life SPOILERS HA HA HA FUCK YOU.

What is your favorite foreign film? Do you think there should be an American remake?

We've been over this like a million times.
Yojimbo and there were two American remakes. One starred Clint Eastwood and the other starred Bruce Willis.
That's how legit this movie is.

Uh, it was French...I think it was called Priceless. Had a lady in it who was also in a movie where she was obsessed with a doctor. Priceless was a bit of a cougarhunt movie. Very pretty. Americans probably couldn't handle it - you know how we're like with sexuality.  

Considering there's a TV show on TV right now called Cougartown that's about older women scoring young dick I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Not only is there a movie based on this in America there's a TV show.
Weekly you can watch the exploits of old sluts getting nailed.

The reason many people don't seem to like Christianity is because they don't want to be told what to do.

I understand that. I certainly don't. And the fact that I seem to have already "given up my life" infuriates me to no end - but who says?

I personally like the religious belief I held - I talk to God on my own terms, not by going to church and listing to someone tell me that I'm a bad person.

Guess who made me this way? Uh huh. 

oh shit QED church leaders fuck you.
I guess by that logic God made me a nonbeliever so whatever fuck it.

What inspires you in life? What makes you want to reach for the stars and do something truly extraordinary?

I guess it's like Marcus Aurelius says: "there is no greater sin than inaction."

Not the fear of dying, per se, but the fear of being forgotten. I will write and have a book published, and it will be a sleeper hit, and therefor no one will forget me.

"I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others."
-- Marcus Aurelius

How many folk use the phrase "Oh My God"?

When?

Because some of the more uptight folk think we're going to hell because "We won't be held un guilty" Or something like that.

I didn't cut any of this.
This is the complete context so far.
What the fuck are these words?
They're arranged in some kind of order but no order that makes sense to me.

1.) Thought we were already off the hook for the rest of our lives by just accepting Christ.

2.) Look at this sentence; "Go clean your room." What is the subject there? It's actually 'You', even if it's not there, because it's a command, and it's implied that YOU are the one being talked to.

Bible also says some who are saved will only be spared from the hellfire as their eternal reward.
Repenting (that is, turning away from your sins) is a big part of being a Christian.
As I understand it.
Personally I find the Pagan philosophy of living and dying honorably more intuitive but what do I know

It's Earth Day tomorrow!
And it's ALWAYS during the Kid's Choice Awards >.> 

Okay, enviromentalists...

What, are you 12?
Who gives a shit about any of these things?
Anyway fuck the internet and everyone who reads this garbage.