A guide on how to get reck'd

Waiting for a phone call that probably isn't coming--
waitin'.
Time to kill time: only way I know how to do that is to get fucking angry at strangers on the internet.
Today we're getting a rock solid lesson in "holy shit bro what the fuck are you doing?"
This blog might be really boring because I only read like two sentences in it before I knew this is what was happening today.
Those might be the only two sentences in the entire blog worth commenting on but we'll see.

So yes, some have asked me about how to impress a Chinese girl or Asian girls in general. How?

By being white, not a complete mutant and over 5'4".
Sorry bro you're going to be forever perceived as the man who failed with white wahms instead of the wise man we both know you are.
Excuse me for going after the women classically known for not nagging you to death.
Clearly my standards are the low ones.
Retards.

By trying to learn some Tang poems. Why? In this dynasty, there was a famous poet named Li Bai, who wrote many poems about how a man should treat a woman, and he should behave around her.

Holy shit bro
what the fuck are you doing?
God I can just imagine this class.
I remember this class.
I felt embarrassed for the guy.
Then I leaned over to the girl and said "look at this asshole" and she laughed.
Yeah that's right. Thanks for setting up a perfect situation to hit on a chick that I didn't monopolize on.

He critisized "rape, possessivity and jealousy" in relationships between a man and a woman. He got very disappointed by his fellow males' behavior around females (for example, badmouthing the Woman's country and relatives and saying, rude, sexual things when complimenting her and not being honest when doing so).


So here's how to be a real "gentleman" in China and to make her see you as a man in my culture: 

Harr getting a lesson from some mutant on the internet in not being a mutant

In Chinese Mandarin, the poem would be thus :

Chuan qiang ming yue guan,
Ye lai feng yu sheng.
Hua Luo zhi duo shao. 

Thanks for noting the tones, asshole. This is as unintelligible to me as it is to a Chinese person.

Recipe 176 : Why Asian Men "cannot" date White Women

Why would they want to, exactly?
I call those guys (all both times I've seen them) "dark wise men" or "bizarro wise men".
I'm sure that's the thing to do in whatever dimension they're originally from.
Don't judge them just because they're interdimensional travelers you fuck.
Look at how they adopted our customs by not wearing shoes on your hands.

Whom are gorgeous and stunning if you ask me here (E.G Jennifer Aniston, Liv Tyler, Kate Blanchet, Princess Diana from England, Tiger Woods' ex-wife). I'll be unveiling the reasons why in a few. 

Wow bro.
Wow.
I'm going to tell you the theme song of today's update.
Just put this on in the background and I think you'll see where I'm coming from pretty much always.

1. His Mother has "absolute power" over him in China, so she decides everything for him. So if any "White Vixen" or "Blond whore" is trying "to steal/take her flesh and blood away from her", she'll resist, mark my words, like any Mother would. I'm sorry to offend anyone, but that's the way White Ladies are "called" in my native dialect. 

Is that true?
I sort of believe it.

2. So to get his parents' "yes you may/can be our daughter-in-law", the White girlfriend must first try to get his mother's affections or to "earn her trust" by giving her gifts, showing her attention (like in some Asian dramas). Or she could try to give her a massage and etc. And the White girlfriend must try to convince his mum to "let" her be his girfriend and then wife.  

"Or she could try to give her a massage."
You sure this was a drama and not a porno?

3. White women are perceived as "dirty" and loving "free relationships" too much in the Mainland. By that, I mean "no strings' attached" or "on-and-off" relationships in modern English. Now I think some White women do truly love (or are really in love with) their Asian boyfriends, having seen some such couples in my life. So some Chinese mothers (with a traditional mind) would see the White girlfriend as a "threat in her family trying to tempt her son with her evil, seductive ways and trying to break her family up". Again, "no sex before marriage" in some Asian parents' minds, particularly the Mainlanders. In short, White females=demons, harpies and witches in the Chinese, Japanese and Korean cultures... which I myself don't think it's true by the way here. 

"White women are harpies"
Mainland Chinese wisdom or this blog's wisdom?

4. So for the Asian (and mostly the Han) male, the White female is the Forbidden Fruit, the bad influence or how to say it : the guilty pleasure. And he'd be "breaking traditions" by taking a White wife or by being engaged to a White woman in some Asian societies. For example, Mainland China. His own people would be asking him : "Where's your Asian wife"? Or telling him to "go back to your Asian wife". 

We're still left with an important bullet that isn't covered:
Why would he want this setup in the first place?

To conclude my article here, some tips from me to some White wives or girlfriends in this predicament : do not try (or refrain from doing so) to convert him to Christianism or some Western religions. And please avoid "badmouthing" China or saying China's communist and Satanist or the Chinese gvnt's "wrong". And again, do not talk about his looks so openly in her house. And some Asians (Hans mainly) are very "sheltered" boys indeed and their Mums would try to "protect" them by interfering in their lovelife or sexlife. 

"Christianism"
come on m8
check it.
Also thanks for the advice, I guess. If you're a Chinese man and any of this is true you sound pretty fucked.
"Mama won't allow it so just date an Asian girl" is how this all translates to me.
I don't even believe this is true. This guy is full of shit.
He just seems full of shit.

Recipe 175 : Why Westerners are off-limit to Han Women?

They're not.
God the internet.

Especially living in Mainland China, why indeed? 1stly, China's many Western countries's number 1 enemy currently, politically, economically and religiously speaking.

Ignoring that's not even a coherent thought how in the fuck is the West China's main economic enemy?
Quick Google search of China's #1 trading partner:
WOW WHAT DO YOU KNOW IT'S THE US.

So saying things like "Free Tibet, Free Mongolia" in China definitely won't help (would even get you ennemies) as Hans are extremely patriotic. So if you as a Westerner go there and say these things on the streets or in downtown Bei Jing(as it's a very sensitive and hot topic on Bei Jing news and etc), you won't have a chance with a Han girl. 

If I'm in China why in the fuck am I whinging about shit I don't care about?
"FREE TIBET" is a sure way to get in some girl's pants.
I bet that wouldn't even work at some pussy sensitivity rally here.
Get your act together.

And in conclusion here today, I'd like to ask European males a question, why such obsession with and such attraction to Han Chinese women? Are there not enough beautiful women in the West too? Why not pick one of your own Women as a lifemate/companion? 

Brother
I'm cutting you some slack because you're actually Chinese as it turns out
but seriously get reck'd.

And also, best solution to this problem, according to me : marry within your own race/ethnicity! Otherwise, too much complications. On these thoughts, nice dreams and have a nice week-end! 

Where did you go so horribly wrong?

How do we (the Chinese) look at the Koreans or feel about the Japanese?


Well, first off, raw historical facts : Japan invaded Korea and China. China aided the Koreans for a decade or so. It's much like the Israel-Palestine issue in the Middle-East. 

Genghis Khan also tried (and failed) to invade Japan.
He didn't try that hard though.
I think he'd have succeeded if he hadn't said "well never mind then."

I know I may or might sound strange or weird, but yeah... my family doesn't care all that much about what the Japanese did to the Chinese during WWII. Of course, my grandparents do... but my dad/mum would buy me sushi and Japanese tea even because I like it. And I told them to not be racist against them (the Japanese). My parents never taught me to hate them. So I'm a Chinese girl, but a Japanophile.

This is a girl?
Wow ok.
Didn't see that one coming--
She can still get reck'd though.
So I'm now interpreting that earlier advice of "learning some poem from the dark age" as ways to get into her pants.

So yeah many wondered about this and have asked me questions about it... why are social appearances and honor important in China? Why do they matter so much in a Chinese girl's eyes? Well... it's related to "loosing and saving face" in my earlier post. E.G some girls would buy "brand items" just for "keeping up her own appearance and saving her honour before others". This could/may be looked upon/on as a new form of "superficiality and/or materialism" in the modern Chinese society.

This isn't nearly as interesting as the advice I got from a Korean girl:
"if you want to marry a Korean girl you have to beat her father at Starcraft first."
So if anything I'll say just going off the last two days of interaction with Asian women Korean girls aren't quite as heavy duty as all this.
Although considering Starcraft is a national sport there part of me wonders if she wasn't serious.
Maybe putting all my eggs in the Warhammer basket was a mistake.

Recipe 156 : How to date an Asian girl

Finally some practical advice from one of these fucking things.
How long have I been waiting?
Like four years or something?

1. Always try to see : what's good for her and not for you (as a guy/male) only and "What's in it for her"? And "What are you (the male or guy) to her"? Please don't be male-centered when "being with or dating one". And always be on-time when having rdzs/dates with her... She'd (the Chinese girl) hate you for being late. And course, this might/may change as your relationship goes on but yeah. Do not piss her off by "being late on your first date".

Oh thanks.
Never would have guessed being on time was important.
False alarm people.

Interestingly enough, Chinese girls "adored" a "family or home-Goddess" 'round the 3 kingdom's dynasty (3 k years ago in our history), much like the Greek deity Hestia.

Yeah definitely false alarm.
I know for a fact this deity (and Hestia) aren't this fucking crazy.
I think you're confusing what you think the gods tell you to do for your own mental instability.
Leave it to me to skip over all the blogs that are Asian girls just talking about usual shit and go right for the crazy.
Also don't presume to tell me how to live honorably. I use Zeus as a pattern for my conduct. I know what it is to be honorable more than any man alive.

7. My friendly advice : absolutely do not kiss her while meeting her parents, you (as her Western bf) would be an embarrassment to her and her whole family. How will she marry you later on?

This one bit of advice comes up like 87,000 times. The impression I'm getting is this is the key to dating Asian women.
Yeah I know Asian countries aren't big on the public displays of affection.
I'm cool with it.
Whatever.

In Chinese, eumphemisms are intoned in the voice or used in oral Chinese. For example, telling your Chinese sweetheart "I want to sleep with you" would sound too crude in her ears, the euphemism I'd use here would be : "let's make flowers.", which would mean something similar to or along the lines of: "let's make love/have baby flowers" in English. 

I'm going to have to go to "dating Chinese women" summer camp, that's it.
Does this come with a workbook or something?
Also I've met Chinese women. They're not this particular.

It's highly complimentary to her also when you call her "My Mei Zi",

I can't pronounce "Zi".
It's not like "zee" it's like some noise no human can make.
ZRRRRRRRRERRR.
ZUUUUUURRRRRRRRREEEEERRRRRR.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZI.
That's it I can't date Chinese women.
I can't even swing basic terms of endearment.
But I can school a motherfucker in an RTS so I'm feeling good about Korean women still.

because you're comparing her to the flower's seed firstly and then her sweetness to the "Queen of Flowers" in China. That's the whole symbolism/meaning 'hind our Mei Hua.

You'll need to :

1. Get some Mei Hua petals and some Asian prune Honey (could make the Honey yourself or buy it at some Asian supermarkets). 

I know it probably seems very insulting to question someone about their own culture but I seriously don't believe any of this is actually applied today.
This seems like turn of (last) century shit.
I'm going to cross check this later.

Let's make on today's recipe : the Elixir from Heavens. 

Isn't that the thing Sun Wukong steals in Journey to the West and gets damned to 10,000 years of cleaning the heavenly stables?
I knew this woman was trouble.

1. You may/can use some dried fruits like Chinese prunes, lichees, some mandarins, or Gui Yuans, which are the rarest ever planted in China and very yummy to have or drink in a can.

2. Peel them, get their seeds out and put th' into a glass and crush those into a machine, to extract the juice out of it. Serve it cooled to guests or yourself when feeling mouth-watering.

The Gui Yuans were concubine Yang's favourite in the Tang dynasty's. This caused the Kingdom to fall into Darkness and crumble because when the Tang Emperor learnt she's lik'd them, to keep her happy and all smiling in his Palace, he's gotten her so many on their Lovers' day that he's left none for the' poor at all. What's your feelings and thoughts about this recipe? Wouldn't you like to try this? 

A drink so hardcore it made an entire empire fall into a dark age.
Fucking
what?

I'd like to teach you all or everyone how to use some idiomatical expressions in a Chinese sentence/phrase, and how to court and woo a distinguished Lady in China.

So far your steps to dating a distinguished lady involve way more cooking than I'm comfortable with.

How to ask her out : you should just read her some Shakespearean verses and poetry and then take her out to a tea pleace, English tea is preferred there because it's "in" and fashionable in my Country.

Now I know you're bullshitting. There's no way Shakespeare is part of your dating rituals.
He wasn't alive until the late 1500s and so far all of your dating rituals are circa the Roman Empire.
How about I just quote her something from the 6th edition Warhammer rulebook?
"We are judged in life by the evil we destroy."
"Call no man free until he is dead."
"Such is the price of failure."
"My armor is contempt. My shield is faith. My sword is hate. In the Emperor's name, let none survive."
If that doesn't get a bitch going then she's no bitch of mine.

A way to flirt with or win an English young lad's hand/feelings: "you're my knight in shiny armor or you've a Sailor's soul=you've a brave man or a Lion's heart/soul to me."

Okay I know English people.
I suspected before you were full of shit but I didn't want to say too much because you're (apparently) actually Chinese but now I know you're a bullshitter.
If you said that to an English girl she'd (quite rightly) laugh at you until you stopped being such a pud.
You have the soul of a lion?
Are you trying to pick up a British chick or are you trying to date an anime character/furry?
Thine soul is of gilden nature
let none wrest it from thee
I mean are you fucking kidding?

Here's how to confess your love to an Arabic girl in China: "M'Lady, May I unveil thine Moonlit Crescents, so they might be reflected in my eyes forever..." May = could or let=asking permission in Chinese/Arabic. 

Here's how you actually propose to a girl:
"hey baby wanna get married?"
I'll admit it's less poetic but on the other hand she probably won't laugh at you for the suggestion.
I'm changing the title to this blog. Originally it was "HOLY SHIT BRO" but I'm changing it to "a guide on how to get reck'd"
How to date Asian women:
write her circa-13th century inspired sonnets
how to date a British chick:
write her circa-13th century inspired sonnets
how to date an American chick:
no one knows because they're harpies.
I've never seen a blog less informed about women than mine.
And this one was written by a fucking wahm.
I'm honestly at a loss for words at the moment.

I’ve tasted the Nectar of Aphrodite as some would say…

That'd be honey.
Don't worry people I've come fully equipped for this blog.
I've read literally all of the same bronze age mythology she has.
And while I've distilled the wisdom of the ancients into the world's greatest creed she seems to be struggling with what to call honey.
The trick I find is take all the superstition and use it metaphorically.
You should pay attention to ancient people when they're being pragmatic because when ancient people were pragmatic it meant shit was getting real.
The more real to life your personal philosophy seems the more people will disagree with it and the more hardcore it seems.
So the cooler your own words sound and the more horrified the people around you get the closer to the truth you are.
Basically if you're not bullshitting here's what being a human with thoughts is like.
Oh man.
Made it to the start of this shit.
Man that was really bizarre.
Well I hope we all learned a lot.
About stuff and things.
And shit.
Fuck.

That's the way it goes in the city of Compton, boy

I didn't want to do this but ONTD_Feminism was the first thing I saw today and, you know, one click later and I'm in crazyville again.
So I guess let's do part two.

According to a study conducted at the University of Westminster, stronger men make awful boyfriends. The study surveyed 327 straight British men, more than a third of whom were single, and discovered that the more muscular the participant, the more likely he was to have sexist beliefs and hostility toward women. Yikes! 

...
Because a study of 327 people is statistically significant, what?

The correlation between brawny men and sexist beliefs is rooted in traditional gender roles. "We think men who hold oppressive beliefs about women and gender equality are also more likely to endorse traditional stereotypes of masculinity, which includes the muscular physique," the study authors wrote. 

So if you work out you're an asshole...
I can't even begin to explain why this is nonsensical.
All right here's my new study: if you're a woman and you're skinny you're more likely to be a total bitch because clearly you hold your physical appearance over your mind.
Except, you know, that skinny chick who was really smart BUT NEVER MIND I ASKED LIKE 5 ENTIRE WOMEN SO IT'S A STUDY OKAY.

The researchers also claimed that in societies where patriarchal structures are being challenged, men may attempt to prove their masculinity by bettering their bodies.

How can you even begin to quantify sexism?
Is it a meter in an RPG? Can I grind my sexism skill?

Basically, men who are around women in power tend to feel threatened and display this through gaining muscle. 

... What?
Is the University of Westminster a fucking candy shop with a copy of the Times?
How is this a study?
How did they derive this conclusion?
How are these things correlated?
Is it exponential?
Like, if you're really muscular are you really sexist?

 Although the study was not conducted internationally and the number of men surveyed was rather low, on face, it does seem to hold true.

YOU JUST ADMITTED THIS STUDY ISN'T STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT AND--
God.
I talked to one woman yesterday.
She was a total cunt.
Therefore all women are cunts.
DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS BULLSHIT?

Consider the cast of Jersey Shore, for example. Though we can't deny their fabulous physiques, they're not exactly the kind of guys you want to bring home to mom (no, not even you, Vinny). So before you dismiss the next scrawny guy who approaches you, consider that science thinks he'd make a better boyfriend. 

Consider the pseudoscience that he'd make a better boyfriend.
And yet if I parade my theory that brown girls make superior girlfriends suddenly I'm racist and judging people based on superficial details.
Not at all like muscular men are assholes.
Also did the analogy for this study seriously include Jersey Shore?
I don't--
Is this real?
What did the comments have to say?

lol, I have met many a skinny/scrawny dude who has been sexist as hell, so this article is kind of pointless. Just think of nerd/geek culture and the sexist bullshit within it, for example. Those dudes don't necessarily work out, and yet they still say/think misogynistic things. 

I mean she's a fucking idiot but that's a completely valid point. Scrawny guys can be sexist, too, so what--
what?

If you're sourcing Jersey Shore... I feel like you're rendering your argument invalid, article. 

I mean I hate to side with Livejournal on this but really I think we've found some common ground here.
That's how bad this article is. I'm throwing my lot in with Livejournal.

eh all men are sexist to varying degrees so science isn't really telling me anything new there. it's always just been a degree between NeoLiberal covert douchery and the more traditional Aggressive Dude douchery.

Unlike women who are just the paragons of sunshine and equality.
Never mind, I'm taking my lot back.

Stop trying to "prove" what makes men sexist (with "science", hahahahaha... no) and just work on educating them. -_-

Don't worry. I wasted countless hours and dollars on that nonsense.

Sounds like a Nice Guy trying a new approach to convince us to go out with him, now with (feeble) statistics. Blech. 

See you've just admitted there's no reason to not be an asshole.
Fucking white women, I tell you.
If anyone out here is reading this let this be your warning.
If you insist on dating one of these soul stealing sea witches then I have done what I can.
I DON'T WANT TO DATE A SEXIST ASSHOLE BUT EWWW NICE GUYS xP
Nope.

Recently, I had an abortion, which I documented with a hidden mobile phone camera and then shared the images on the internet. I chronicled and published my experience on thisismyabortion.com to show what a safe abortion looks like,

Class?
What's that again?

Wow. Major props to this person for their courage. This is a wonderful project. 

Yeah.
Wonderful.

"What makes some of us uncomfortable with bisexual women? It is because we think they're either lesbians having straight sex or straight women testing out their fantasies on us before returning to men?

They're just trying to be unique snowflakes.

In today's post-modern, queer-focused world, bisexuality is being promoted to lesbians as the latest fashionable trend. This has resulted in lesbian politics, namely feminism, being passed over for sexual hedonism, where the only thing that matters is sexual pleasure and desire. Similarly, bisexuality is sold to heterosexual women as some type of recreational activity far from their "natural home" of straight sex. It is seen as "temporary lesbianism."

I suddenly remembered I don't care.
I remember one girl tried to impress me by claiming to be bisexual.
"Really? Ever had sex with a woman?"
"Well, no."
"Kissed a woman?"
"Well, no"
"So you just like them sometimes, right?'
"Well I think I could be if I found the right girl"
All right. I get it.
Liar.

Camille Paglia, the most famous "anti-lesbian lesbian," has written reams about how she worships the penis and cannot understand those of us who do not. In fact Paglia, like many lesbian tourists who sleep with women on the weekend and go back to hubby on Monday morning, thinks lesbian sex needs to be "spiced up" by the odd "het" shag:

Datingwhitewomen.txt

I’ve been thinking of a way to explain to straight white men how life works for them, without invoking the dreaded word “privilege,” to which they react like vampires being fed a garlic tart at high noon. 

Yeah, explain to me how my life works because I'm too stupid to understand it.
Cunt.

So, the challenge: how to get across the ideas bound up in the word “privilege,” in a way that your average straight white man will get, without freaking out about it?

Being a white guy who likes women, here’s how I would do it:

IS THIS COLTON?
COLTON FROM UNCG?
DON'T MAKE ME ACT A MOTHERFUCKING FOOL, COLTON.

Dudes. Imagine life here in the US — or indeed, pretty much anywhere in the Western world — is a massive role playing game, like World of Warcraft except appallingly mundane, where most quests involve the acquisition of money, cell phones and donuts, although not always at the same time. 

An MMO that's appallingly mundane--
so World of Warcraft.

Let’s call it The Real World. You have installed The Real World on your computer and are about to start playing, but first you go to the settings tab to bind your keys, fiddle with your defaults, and choose the difficulty setting for the game. Got it?

MMOs don't have difficulty settings.
Didn't I already read this analogy?

And maybe at this point you say, hey, I like a challenge, I want to change my difficulty setting! Well, here’s the thing: In The Real World, you don’t unlock any rewards or receive any benefit for playing on higher difficulty settings. The game is just harder, and potentially a lot less fun. 

So every Call of Duty ever?
BOOOOM.

I've actually tried explaining the concept of privilege to my boyfriend (straight white male), and he reacted more or less the same way to the word "privilege" that the author described. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea that being privileged doesn't make you an awful person so much that it means that you have SERIOUSLY massive advantages over those who aren't privileged.

Are you still whining at me?
Go do something with your time, girlfriend.

First comment on his post is a guy disagreeing and then bawwing about how everyone expects him to ~do something~ about stuff that isn't even his fault. *headdesks* It's maddening how blind people are, and how intent they are on clinging to the idea that Reasons x, y & z mean that this doesn't apply to them. 

The analogy is stupid because MMOs don't have difficulty levels.
If one class is overpowered it gets nerfed.
So you know how like white men are now the least employed group in the US?
Sort of exactly like that.
OH MY GOD I LIVE IN AN MMO
I AM AN MMO CHARACTER
WHO PLAYS MMOS
AND WHAT IF MY MMO CHARACTER PLAYS MMOS?

Please don't use ableist terminology like "blind" in place of "wilfully ignorant". 

Jesus Christ.

Hopefully the response to this is "shut the fuck up".

Oh, I'm sorry - thanks for pointing that out, I wasn't thinking when I wrote it. 

Oh.
Well.

I will be angry because I am crazy.

I will be angry because I am not crazy.

????
That's it I'M OUT LIKE SHOUT

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

I CAN'T FIND BLOGS I HAVEN'T ALREADY REVIEWED PLEASE HELP.
Crisis averted.
Girl who likes writing gay fanfiction.
NEVER SEEN THIS EVER.

Whew. That is all I can say.

I'm so happy to have finished that chapter of SMSF because honestly? I wasn't sure I would. So much stuff has been going on. I'm just so glad to have gotten this far with the longest WIP I've written, at roughly 18,000 words. And it's going to be a lot longer.

Wow 18,000 words--
that's almost a short story.

I can't wait to finish this fic, because the ideas for it are buzzing around in my head like flies. I really shouldn't enjoy torturing the characters so much. ;)

But expect good things, children. Expect good things.

After you just stated you enjoy torture you probably shouldn't end your post with "expect good things, children".
Not really an image you want to give people.
Here's a drawing of Kirk and Spock from Star Trek about to kiss--
I'll just go ahead and link this so everyone can enjoy the full spectacle.
After they've agreed they're 14 or older, naturally.

Hey guys, me again. So, I'm in the midst of writing my first sci-fi fiction story (that's non-fanfiction, btw. Novel format.)

Nonfiction fiction.
That is indeed a novel format. Not going to lie here.

and need some feedback. I've written two other unpublished novels in different genres before, so the writing part isn't new to me. Here's an excerpt from my prologue of the novel tentatively titled "Salvage", due to events that take place later in the story. I'd really like your opinion. Try not to mentally compare this to Trek. That's the last thing I want.

I will try my hardest to not compare this to Star Trek but honestly--
after the picture you just uploaded and telling me not to do it it's probably going to happen.

Lights flashed red before his eyes and he panicked. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. He wasn’t trained for this kind of thing.

Scanners screeched at him that he was off course Captain, off course Captain, off course Captain, like he didn’t already know that he was. His viewing screen was now covered in dust and he couldn’t see a thing. When the autopilot informed him that the shuttle had switched to manual drive, he knew that the cloaking shield had malfunctioned.

Because a cloak would definitely also be a shield--
and when it fails naturally the ship would switch to autopilot--
already I'm having trouble suspending disbelief.
Also a captain would totally be piloting his own ship--
and also he wouldn't be trained for emergency situations.
He's just captain
of a space vessel.

He would fail this mission if he were discovered on this planet without his cloaking device.

But if he were discovered with the cloaking device mission fucking success, I guess.

He was almost glad that by the looks of things, he was about to die in a fiery shuttle crash instead of reporting back to the spacecraft Origin with a failed mission and a wrecked ship.

Because wrecking in space totally means you can report back to HQ.
There's not like a vacuum or anything in space.
Or even better from the sounds of this?
Landing your entry to an alien atmosphere at too steep an angle. You definitely won't be ripped apart by friction or burn to death or anything.

Almost, because fear was bubbling in his chest like a pot of boiling water. He was going to die, for real. Really die here, alone, on an alien planet far away from his destination point. No one would know where to find him, even if they returned to this star system to search for his body.

BECAUSE CRASH LANDING ON AN ALIEN PLANET WOULD MEAN THERE WOULD BE REMAINS TO RECOVER.
Also a society capable of intergalactic travel isn't capable of sending a distress signal. Brilliant.
This story is awesome.

Skipping ahead--
He punched in codes on the transmitter, hopefully beaming the signal in the right direction of his planet, and recorded a message to her. Tefe, he stated his own name, crash, desert, Sol System, mission fail.

OH WOW SOL SYSTEM!
THAT'S WHERE I LIVE!
No really it is.
That's Earth.
It just ends.
That whole "crashing in our solar system" bullshit is never explained.
This is wonderful.

Xbox's are cool, people. They just are. I bought the new-gen 360 two days ago, and it is amazing. Like for instance, the power button. It's not even a "button", per se. It's more of a touch sensor.  

And if you move it even an inch while it's on it shreds the disc beyond repair!
In an age where the Sony Discman has been a thing for over 20 years!

Spock is always asserting that, while the other crew members are subseptible to injuries, fatigue, and space illnesses, he is quite immune thank you very much! He refuses shore leave, works longer shifts, and rarely if ever takes the time to rest. When his fellow crew members inquire about his ability to carry on at the rate he's going, Spock simply reminds then that he's superior due to his Vulcan heritage.

Yeah remember how Spock was always arrogantly claiming he was superior instead of simply stating he didn't feel emotions?

So, eventually Spock runs himself into the ground, winds up coming down with some sort of nasty space flu, and is too damn proud to admit to his weakness. 

Remember how Spcok was always prideful and arrogant?
Man I sure do.
He tries to hide it all from everyone and keep going at his crazy pace. Eventually Kirk catches on and some lovely H/C ensues.

Rating: M for some graphic sexual material.
I hope you enjoy this! ^^ Please note that I am inferring that Spock was hit by his breakup with Uhura fairly hard, but doesn't still have real feelings for her. Rest easily, my fellow Kirk/Spock fangirls. =3
May have turned out more angsty that the Anon would have liked. I'm sorry!!! I just love angst!Spock. :P

I love the angst!Spock bullshit. I remember a long time ago I suggested some other dumb cunt made that up and was the only doing it.
Man those were great times.
Great times of ignorance, that is.
Anyway I managed to reach her first post which involved Kirk impregnating Spock.
Somehow.
Let's not dwell on this.
Goodbye.