Then I found one and I remembered why they are banned.
But you know what never gets boring or tedious?
TRANSSEXUALS.
Oh wait, did I say "never gets boring or tedious"? Because I meant "always was boring and tedious."
Man. I'm having a lot of trouble paying attention today because I've been playing SPACE MARINE and if I'm so desensitized to everything now if I don't see a graphic decapitation on screen every ten seconds I fall into a mild state of catatonia.
If you could travel back in time, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?
PUUUUURGE THE XEEEEEEEEEEEEENOS is what I'd tell my 10 year old self.
NO HOPE IN DEFIANCE.
Tell mom and dad how you really feel about being a boy. Because you're not. You're beautiful inside and out and you shouldn't let anyone tell you differently.
You know what's fun? Matchmaking on the PS-Triple.
FIVE MINUTES TO FIND A GAME HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER.
You will find friends, love, and your family will love you unconditionally.
The game does have a criminal lack of Brian Dobson, though. He is the voice of Space Marines and they didn't even bother hiring him. Is there an excuse for this? None that I can think of.
Don't let the depression take you. Don't try to take yourself away from the world. You have so much to offer the world if you can just accept yourself and reveal that self to others.
Oh right, you.
I've pretty much hit a breaking point with the superfluous advertising all over LJ. In addition, the interface has become increasingly convoluted, pushing information I actually *care* about out of the way to make more room for the so-called sponsors, spotlighted communities, etc.
>Ads
>Livejournal
how does it feel living in 2005?
Oh right, I thought of another petty complaint for an otherwise great game: they give you the storm bolter at like the least opportune time imaginable. A GUN THAT'S WILDLY INACCURATE? THIS WILL BE PERFECT FOR THE SCENE WHERE ACCURACY IS KEY!
If anyone actually *cares* what I blog about, I've reactivated my blog on blogger.
http://moodyasakat.blogspot.com/
... Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
This won't be confusing to navigate.
Also this isn't the latest entry on this blog so apparently this person is full of shit.
Beauty and the Beast of Disparate Gender Appearance Expectations
First entry in this other (new?) blog.
Can't wait!
Actually now that I'm thinking about it, of all the guns in Space Marine about 60% of them are complete shit. That Meltagun is fucking pathetic. For a gun that fires so hot it melts through bulkheads and tanks it sure doesn't hit unarmored infantry very hard.
In fact I've spent a majority of the game just playing whack-a-mole with enemy heads using the thunder hammer.
FUCK RANGED COMBAT. I WILL MEET THE ENEMY IN GLORIOUS HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT~
Yesterday, I shaved my legs for the first time in about two and a half weeks. I even curled my hair and put on make-up. This is not a normal routine for me because, frankly, it's a huge hassle and can be, at times, painful.
Speaking of glorious hand-to-hand combat, shaving your legs.
You did want to be a girl, incidentally. Not an easy road to travel in terms of personal hygiene.
But the whole thing got me thinking. Society has a ridiculously imbalanced set of perceived responsibilities in personal appearance and hygiene among the commonly-perceived gender binary.
So don't shave your legs. You are a dude, after all.
So here's the Riddle of the Sphinx: isn't biologically a girl, doesn't act like a girl, doesn't look like a girl.
Female?
I've often wondered why in virtually ever other species of animal, the male is the one that is more colorful, more primped, and has to dance or sing beautifully or find some way of earning a female's CONSENT to engage in 'relations'.
Argument null: traditional society typically dictates the male woo the female in humans as well. We just do it with dinner instead of singing.
Unless you're Dean Martin, of course.
He has to go out of his way and have all these traits like being funny or mysterious or whatever gets a girl's sex hole going and she has to look attractive. Both parties have to work for it. As Warhammer tells us, "hard work keeps the mind distracted and the body pure. It is a noble and worthwhile thing."
In this case you're working hard to attract a mate I suppose. I don't know.
My goal is to not stop talking about Warhammer this entry.
The female of these species is typically more plain in appearance and does her own thing without all the pressure of pleasing the male.
And girls, they're completely easy to please.
You know, you did want to be a girl. You weren't biologically built this way so you can go back at any fucking time being a chick becomes too much trouble for you.
Let's take a look at what's expected of a woman here in America: skinny; hairless body; long legs; large breasts; full lips; a full and round ass; clothing accentuating her legs, ass, and breasts; slender, waspish waist; flawless skin; high heels; long, painted nails; manicured eyebrows; long, shiny hair; and no wrinkles, cellulite, or gray hair.
I can break that down into one thing: look sexy.
I mean, if we're going to play this game (which is a complete fucking waste of time and a logical fallacy of the highest magnitude to boot) then what do men have to do to attract girls? They have to be intelligent, funny, interesting, outgoing, assertive, have disposable income to spend on the girl, flattering and on top of that they have to be 100% aware of her ever-changing whims and moods, and because we're playing by the "all men want a girl with huge tits" rule set then all women want a man with a huge penis so if you don't have that you might as well not even bother. Oh and he, additionally, has to dress well. Like women.
Or, you know, it's all fucking bullshit in the first place and if you're trying to attract a woman whose only desire is a giant penis that ejaculates money then you're clearly an idiot for wanting to attract such a shell of a human in the first place.
You wouldn't believe the level of whining from both parties on what they have to do to attract mates. You think you people would either simplify your rules or man the fuck up and deal with it.
To that end, women are expected to shave, pluck, tweeze, thread, wax, laser, and zap hair all over their bodies. They apply balms, creams, salves, lotions, tonics, and oils to their skin. They suffer pinched toes, aching ankles, throbbing knees, and sore hips.
So don't wear high heels.
IF-- IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, DON'T DO IT.
AM I A FUCKING GENIUS? WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR PEOPLE?
They deal with a ritual of applying powders, liquids, animal fats and synthetic chemicals to their faces. Women are expected to do yoga, aerobics, strength training and diet like crazy. Then, of course, is the cinching, binding, strapping, lifting, and twisting of the clothing. And the hair - where mileage tends to vary quite a bit.
Ritual is important. It keeps the mind from wandering into dark places.
What does American society expect of men? Please try to not smell too bad and wear clothes that adequately cover your body. I exaggerate, of course. The ideal man is supposed to be some bronzed Adonis with chiseled muscles, washboard abs, sparkling smile, and the care-free look of styled bed-head. Facial hair varies by preference.
I am so filled with impotent rage right now because I haven't smashed an Ork head with a giant mallet in about two hours I'm ready to kill.
The point is, this type of man is considered "unrealistic" and women are far more forgiving of lapses in personal appearance in favor of a good personality, intelligence, and a sense of humor.
You think that shit comes naturally?
You lived a fair deal of your life as a man and you have no sense of humor at all. It takes a lot of cultivation and practice and study to be funny.
I mean some people (like myself) of course are blessed with boundless gifts for comedy but even I, with the Blessing of Dionysus upon my brow, has to work for it.
Women that don't fall within this narrow scope of the patriarchal notion of femininity are criticized and humiliated, their likenesses posted for all the world to see on tabloids and websites.
"Any more than a handful is a waste" a wise man once said.
How big is that, B cup?
I would like to see men take on the task of beautifying themselves as women do, just for a week. One week of shaving legs and armpits, of fretting about their weight, of picking out "outfits" to get female attention, of applying concealer and foundation to smooth out their complexion, of wearing figure-modifying garments to tuck their bulging tummies and keep their thighs from rubbing against each other.
Have you seen the faggots on TV mincing around? Too late for that, I think.
Perhaps I'm rambling too much in my thoughts on this matter, but as a transgender woman who has lived on both sides of these expectations, this disparity is made all the clearer. I would like to see some changes. I, for one, have never insisted that women modify their appearance to suit my whim.
HOW IS THIS STILL GOING ON? AM I DYING?
Here's a fucking idea: if it bothers you so goddamn much don't do it. Just don't expect men to want to date a hairy, smelly ape with a dick.
I don't see the fucking mystery here. If you want something from society at some point you conform to society's ideals.
It would seem that I am not equipped to handle 3 six-hour studio classes (and one inconsequential lecture class) in a single semester. It's a constant cycle of putting off one thing for another until I hit a point where I can't quite catch up on anything at all.
You just gotta grab that shit by the head and stomp on it. Pretend like all your problems are Orks.
I'm back to the other blog, incidentally. Having fun jumping around?
Because I'm not.
Some might argue, "Hey! I work XX hours per week and do such and such in my 'off' time." That might be true, but I'm not you. We have different endurances, different levels of focus, and different needs in terms of rest, sustenance, and social interaction. I'm also just really tired of school. I want to *work*. I want to be productive. I want to feel like I'm contributing to something. Instead, I sit in rooms with children ten years my junior who speak grandly of their naïve ideals and sheltered opinions as though they are incontestably-proven fact.
Wow that's not pretentious. I bet we'd get along well in a pussy sensitivity situation.
Headphones haven't helped as much as I hoped they would. And I am so, so, so exhausted. I don't remember my last full-night's rest. I wake up multiple times per night, my heart races with anxiety, I lay awake in the dark and cry.
I have cried more in the past month than I did the entire second-half of last year.
>I have male hormones in my body
>to offset them I am taking female hormones in a greater dosage than would otherwise be normally present in a female body so I can look more feminine
WHY AM I MOODY?
ALSO FUCK SOCIETY AND ITS EXPECTATION THAT WOMEN APPLY CHEMICALS TO THEIR SKIN.
No I'm intentionally being unfair. I don't know that this person is doing hormone therapy.
That would be a tad hypocritical of you if you were, though. You know, it's okay when society makes chemicals that you want but otherwise it's unnatural and degrading.
So at some point sheeeeee (whatever) alludes to a webcomic called "Trangst" she is working on. I've done my best to hunt this comic down and I found (a) webcomic called "Trangst" but I'm almost certain this isn't the one this person is working on.
Apparently there's an even older and different Livejournal, too. This person has their business spread across at least five websites that I know of and I can only find two.
Ah, spoke too soon. I found this.
And this.
And this that links to about 5 different things including the previously linked Blogger.
Is "Male-to-female transgender" just a complex code for "I have too many fucking websites" and no one told me?
Now there's an article about Nancy Wake.
If you don't know who she is she was a British agent during WWII who strangled a thousand Nazis with her bare hands.
Fuck yeah.
Truly someone who knows the meaning of glorious hand-to-hand combat.
And then this pussy goes on to say how this is proof gender doesn't matter and I'll tell you what, when you strangle a thousand Nazis with your bare hands I'll put up with your whining.
If you strangle a thousand Nazis will you be a whiner?
I'd wager no you wouldn't.
This latest blog seems to be the lodestone in terms of entries.
Time for a two parter?
WE'LL SEE HOW I FEEL FRIDAY.
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