It's Fucking On, Chaps

Once in a blue moon there is a blog that is so perfectly horrific the entry basically writes itself. I knew once I undertook this project I would find the ultimate bad blog that would rob me of all rational thought, and today I have found that creature.
Today's blog is entitled, get this, "Your a star...." Is that an improper use of "your"? Yes. Is that too many periods for an ellipsis? You better fucking believe it.
THIS IS JUST THE TITLE, PEOPLE. IT GETS FAR WORSE FROM HERE.

I want:

To move to North Carolina

NO STAY OUT WE HAVE ENOUGH RETARDS HERE.
"YOUR" NOT WELCOME.

To have 4 or 5 children

Yeah, great. Ever read a book called "March of Morons"? NO? WELL LET ME EDUCATE YOU, YOU STUPID TWAT.
In March of Morons it's the future and the average IQ is 45 (ignore for the moment that the average IQ always has to be 100) and the entire world is run by a group of smart people who are worked to death just keeping the morons in line.
THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU REPRODUCED TOO MUCH. :C

To get an A in Organic

Chemistry? Not that hard, friend. Try harder.

To stay up all night having a great talk
so good that you don't even realize that its morning

only way that's happening is if you're not you, so go to hell.

Your an amazing person and, looking back on our friendship over these past 4ish or 5ish years or whatever I truely see how much you have shaped my life.

Too bad that shaping didn't involve spelling OR grammar.

One day I was crying because I found out that a boyfriend cheated on me, I looked over at you tears on my cheeks, just to see your face also covered with tears.

Let's analyze this.
One day I (speaker) was crying because I (speaker) found out that a boyfriend (implying more than one?) cheated on me, I looked over to you tears (your tears?) on my cheeks (missing punctuation?), just to see your face also covered with tears.

You plucked my eyebrows for picture day in the 11th grade, because I had no idea how to do it.

Yeah pulling hairs out is really that hard. MAN UP AND YANK THAT SHIT OUT.

I guess in a way I'd find myself..Something that lately I have been lacking:

you're right there. Where else would you be? I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!
You're a stupid cunt who can't spell and is giving me a migraine.

1. I have failed a college class..Organic Chem, I guess this woul be a little easier to swallow if I felt I deserved to fail, but honestly I put a lot of work into that failure, and now to just retake it, is a blow to the face.

You failed organic chemistry? Quit college now. That's the first "hard" challenge of college and you clearly weren't up to it. It only gets worse from there.

I studied for 30 hours to recieve a 50 percent on one test...I can look back on that class and I know I tried my hardest.

Your hardest wasn't good enough. I hear Wal-Mart is hiring.

I don't think I want to pursue the nursing thing anymore, because of the earlier mentioned failure, its just hard and frusterating.

No I guess you wouldn't. Maybe take up English I'M SURE YOU'D BE GOOD AT IT (he lied).

I know its what I want to do, and I don't just want it handed to me, but is it too much to ask for something to go according to plan?

According to plan? What plan? You took a class that's a fundamental in your major and you fucked up big time. Clearly you either have to shape the fuck up or switch majors.

For not everything I approach in life to be a struggle.

Yeah life is such a struggle for you. Bitching on the goddamn internet all day about it.

Grand Valley is the only school to demand classes like Biochem and Genetics.

Christ and you're going to be a NURSE? Someone who gives people DRUGS? You're barely fucking literate and you're going to read all of those labels? You're going to hit someone going into anaphylaxis with morphine and wonder why they died because you couldn't read the goddamn label on the needle.

I believe that some things hold meaning, based on the idea that they are meaningless.

That's where you'd be mistaken. Life is meaningless and then you die.

There is a beauty in finding your own meaning, interpretations that are only yours.

There better be because in the end that's all anyone can do.

Hopefully, I'll be getting all A's. (haha).

HOPEFULLY! LOL!!
You make your own fortune.
Also this entire paragraph seems to have random letters underlined so I thought maybe there was a hidden code or something but she seems to just really suck at the internet or something, unless "Im icyou" means something.

I can do anything I want to and I can rely on myself to do it and if I can't then I independently make the desision to involve others.

Except pass organic chemistry or spell, apparently.

I believe that I have a multitude of defense mechanisms

EVERYONE DOES.

Me: So will you still be here tomorrow? Do you have to work?
Callie: No I don't work, I"m going to Allendale to hang with friends.
Me: Oh that sounds like fun [walks up stairs and wispers 'I love to be alone, thanks for asking me to hang out']

"OH THAT SOUNDS FUN, CAN I COME TOO?"
EIGHT WORDS. EIGHT.

I don't know whats wrong with me lately, I guess I've just thinking about all the people in my life past and present, and for reasons I may never know this makes me sad often.

Instead of in the future, implying you could know what happens in the future, is that it? Or are you sad that you're trying to live in the past?
You're dumb I shouldn't think so much about your stupid life.

I can remember is wanting to grow up and be seen as someone who is mature [I tend to be a little silly, and I didn't want to be known for that any longer].

ONLY MATURE PEOPLE ARE DEADLY SERIOUS ALL THE TIME JESUS CHRIST.

More good news: The baby should be here any day,

Baby
Baby
BABY!?

his name will still be Chance

Chance. You're naming your fucking retard CHANCE!?
I'm trying to find a picture that expresses my emotions because GOD KNOWS WORDS DO NOT EXIST FOR THIS FEELING.

my biggest fear is becoming a failure

Well I have some bad news.

Its so amazing.
My sister is having a boy.

Oh, okay, it's your sister.
Whew that was close.

I have to write this paper for my writting course, and I must say that I'm really trying on this, and so far I like what I have written, I didn't realize how much I missed writting.

Writting. Of course just because you write a lot does not mean it is good writing, but hey there is something to be said for sheer crushing volume. Maybe if you write enough you can smite your professor under the weight of 10,000 stapled pages and send her into traction so she won't have time to grade it between bouts of PAIN.

I am sad tonight becasue I have failed.

Good.

I have this Ethics class, its actually pretty crazy some of the discussions that we get in.
Like people's morals and a lot of religion talk.

An ethics class about morals? That class sounds completely bonkers!

We are learning more about the brain then why people do certain things.

Than*

But I think it is because you need to know how it works before you can figure out what it does.

No shit.
Next you'll be telling me that, pfft, you have to put PANTS on BEFORE shoes!

Then last and maybe least I have Algebra.
Oh I'm so glad I'm paying out the ass to learn how to graph.

Hey maybe if you had fucked up less in high school, eh?

Hmm.

I just don't know

I FUCKING KNOW.
END OF GODDAMN ENTRY.
PISS OFF.