fug :DDDDDDDDD

Slim pickings today.
Unless you like reading bullshit roleplay stories.
You know I shit on fanfic a lot but at least it's not roleplaiyng.

Attn non-Tumblr-ers: American Idol/Rymon Comedy Hour posts are now sorted under the rymon rewatch tag. Let me know if something is missing. We’ve finished season 5. Season 6 starts Monday. Brace yourselves for Sanjaya, Blake Lewis, Ryan and Simon's African honeymoon, and an almost unreal amount of gay innuendo. BEST! SEASON! EVER!

Are these words?
Composed by a human?
Or are they words a machine has assembled to seem like a coherent thought?

Hi guys. I’m super into Star Trek now. TOS, almost exclusively, but it’s really just a matter of time. I’ve already projectile vomited my feelings all over poor squonk and bironic, among others, and now I have a TOS Tumblr where I’m documenting my thorough rewatching of the entire series, plus movies, plus probably all the other Star Trek series, and then the reboot … with pictures!! If that’s something you’re into, you should watch along with me.

I love having movies ruined by idiots.
That's why I went to see The Lone Ranger opening day in a theater filled with people suffering from brain damage because holy shit why did they laugh at every single thing that happened in the movie?
Intended to be funny or not it sure tickled someone's fancy.
Also holy Christ could that movie have been any longer or less interesting?

Where do you do fandom?

In hell.

- Dreamwidth
- LiveJournal
- Tumblr
- Twitter
- AO3
- somewhere else 

Fuck.
What is AO3?
Archive of Our Own.
AOOO.
AO3.
Because you include "of" in your acronym, naturally.

We're a fan-created, fan-run, non-profit, non-commercial archive for transformative fanworks, like fanfiction, fanart, fan videos, and podfic.
While the site is in beta, you can get an invitation from another user or from our automated invite queue. All fans and fanworks are welcome!

God.
Let's see the fandoms--
EVE Online
Are you fucking joking?

Unearthing the Past by MiloKhan
EVE Online 

    Mature
    No Archive Warnings Apply
    F/F, Multi
    Work in Progress

17 Jul 2012
Tags

    No Archive Warnings Apply
    Science Fiction
    Love
    Action/Adventure
    Consensual
    Polyamory

Summary

    A story about exploring the history mostly alluded to in the universe of EVE Online, from the perspective of Evelynne, a new capsuleer. Follow her as she learns all is not as it seems in the galaxy, and discovers love and companionship along the way.

What the fuck is happening
Warhammer.

All This and Heaven Too by purplekitte

Warhammer 40.000, Horus Heresy - Various Authors 

    Explicit
    Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
    M/M
    Complete Work

3 Jul 2013
Tags

    Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
    Primarchs/Astartes
    Roboute Guilliman
    Aeonid Thiel
    Konrad Curze
    Jago Sevatarion
    Leman Russ
    Bulveye
    Alpharius Omegon
    Ahzek Ahriman - Character
    Magnus (WH40k)
    Horus (WH40k)
    Hastur Sejanus
    Sigismund (WH40k)
    Rogal Dorn
    Lion El'Jonson (Warhammer 40K)
    Luther (Warhammer 40K)
    Sanguinius (WH40k)
    Azkaellon (WH40k)
    Vulkan (WH40k)
    Numeon (WH40k)
    Incest
    Why Did I Write This?
    Intercrural Sex
    Blow Jobs
    Anal Sex
    I don't even have tags that can properly warn for this fic

Summary

    You think no one does it? Takes what is offered so very willingly? (Primarchs/Astartes slash)

Are you fucking kidding me I mean come the fuck on.

Never again.

1. I just realized that Tumblr is potentially an entirely new audience of people for me to convert to Rymon (and Ryan in general) fandom. With that in mind, should I be applying tags more liberally to my Tumblr posts? I’ve already had a few things reblogged by Simon fans who are not following me--and Saula fans, oh my goodness gracious, if they only knew--and I’m always anxious to spread the gospel, as it were. I have also tried some of these silly random tags that I've heard so much about--are those useful or just funny? I feel like a tiny baby with chubby flailing limbs right now.

What the fuck is Rymon?
You know what
never mind.
Last time I asked that I found out there was Warhammer 40,000 gay incest fanfic.
Apparently it's fanfiction of Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell from American Idol.
Can you write fanfiction about them?
They're not characters or even actors playing characters.
Those are real people.
Here's an especially disturbing post about how Ryan Seacrest and Simon from American Idol must have tons of gay sex off camera--
What the fuck am I reading?
Apparently this isn't just one sad creature that obsesses over these two has-beens or never-weres. There's an entire internet group of these people devoted to just posting about Ryan Seacrest and Simon.
From American Idol.
I feel I have to keep saying "from American Idol" because anyone reading this has probably forgotten who they are because who in their right mind has watched American Idol in the last decade?

Simon on Oprah. So this is going to be some bullshit. Let's watch, shall we?

Oh long post short: it seems to imply Simon isn't gay (maybe he isn't? Who cares?) and the woman who keeps this blog is flipping her shit like how dare the man imply he doesn't fuck Ryan Seacrest
from American Idol
in the ass.
Why is this so important to you, lady?
I don't care who is dating who in life.
Maybe it's because I'm a man and I don't give a shit about stuff like this but last time I met a gay couple here was my reaction: "oh ok."

Ugh, American Idol, SO boring tonight. There was only one dick joke! They sedated Seacrest!

Take a guess how many posts about American Idol I've skimmed. 
Go on.
Write down an answer somewhere.
Ballpark it.
Let's say you win if you're within 5 posts.
Ok do you have your answer written down?
FORTY SEVEN.

Someone in the audience is holding a glittery sign that says "RYAN + SIMON 4-EVER" inside a big red heart. Hee. ONE OF US, ONE OF US!

God.

Oh my god, this show gets weirder every week. And it's already the weirdest show ever, so this is really pushing the limits of weirdness. Ryan walks through a tunnel of contestants and finds Simon with his arm tightly around Ellen. I predicted this, that Simon would get all weirdly jealous about Ryan's thing with Ellen and would try to one-up him. Fighting over the affections of a married lesbian. Ryan, of course, is totally delighted by this, because wouldn't you be?

Oh
no
yeah
totally
do you think about anything else?
Oh shit here's a post about House fanfiction--
where House and Wilson are having gay sex, naturally--
but at least it's not American Idol.
That's-- something, I guess?
Oh God I ended up leaving this for like 12 hours fuck the police