FOR THE SLAUUUUUGHTER

All of the entries in this blog are 4 years old and I'd like everyone to take a moment to acknowledge how little the fucking internet has changed in 4 entire years.
That's practically a fourth of the entire time most people have been online.
I guess bints will be bints.
I found this shit on Onomatheydidn't.
What the fuck is that?
Well it's the Korean pop culture version of ONTD.
Of course.
OF COURSE.
WHAT, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT WARRANTED ITS OWN GROUP?
WELL IT DOES.
Anyway I found this blog through an entry about--
you know what fuck it because I'm trying to find the right wording to make this sound not stupid and I can't do it so fuck it.
Let me just briefly summarize:
a Youtube video got more views than another Youtube video so people are mad.
About Youtube.
That is an emotion you can feel. Anger at people on Youtube.
Her first post is a three paragraph essay on why she's going friends only.

I’m a virgo, and well I love lists. I did try that 100 things in 1001 days…I failed that completely. I just wasn’t connecting with my list or the task at hand. With me turning 35 this weekend, I would like to put forth a simpler list of things I want to accomplish.

All right stop fuck it.
That means 4 years later you are almost 40 and you're posting about PNY's video beating out Girls' Generations' video. 
I know you weren't upset about this event (in fact you were celebratory) the fact that you have vested emotions in this at all really tells you it's time to grow up.
Here's a three page essay on yoga--
I'm dead serious--
I was going to comment on it but nah I think I'm good.

So i've been reading Russell SImmon's book Do You.  Common sense, but everyone needs a little bit of common sense reminder on occasion. And i have to say between it, the universe, and my passion for what i do....it helps.

Somehow it took you two long sentences to say a book was good.

Law 1. See your Vision and Stick with it -- yeah this came up this week. Money issues abound, questions of continuing came up. What to focus on, where to focus on. I think in the years of going through the motions, i lost, found, reinvented, lost again, found again, and again the vision of what DTW is to be.

...
You do know DTW is, don't you?
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DTW IS YOU FUCKING IDIOT?

I never formed a mission statement, still haven't. It's on the to do list. I'll be honest the vision is still a little fuzzy. I think when i started massage, i envisioned myself working with sports people. But honestly it's not me. My first passion is yoga.

But not the cool kind of Yoga that supposedly lets you temporarily slip out of the wheel of Samsara to discern the true motives of people and see briefly into the future, no, the shitty kind of Yoga that cunts do.
The Yoga the lets you kill someone with one punch?
Nah, we don't need that.

I do enjoy massage, but i'm not the one to come to for working out an injury, but i don't just do fluffy sessions either ....unless they are asked for. I think my massage practice is for the yogi, or for the one who needs a little nurturing to be reminded of "being well." does that make sense?

Take your soft, dainty message and shove it. I'm here to discern the difference between life and death.

yeah well i'm still figuring it out. But i did figure out what type of yoga teacher i am. I'm the one who will help you get the basics. I'm the one who is to guide that person who is afraid to go to a class with strangers and wants a little more confidence before they venture there.

I've never even been to a yoga class and somehow I'm too advanced for you.
How did that even happen?

Law 3. Get Right in Your Mind - This is where Russell Simmons talks about meditation. I admit  my meditation practice wavers. Some weeks it's great, sometimes i go weeks without a personal mediation practice.

How in the fuck are you doing yoga without meditation?
Isn't yoga by definition meditation?
You are aware it's not just some gay stretches you do, right?
It's like a whole thing?

Law 6. Surround yourself with the Right People - The people who come to my classes always amaze me. The people who i've meet along this path have been outstanding. Not all of them. But most. I am a true believer in community, and creating a community of like minded in this field. My best leads have come from my students or clients. My best supporters (outside of family) have been my students/clients. And i don't just mean in coming to classes or booking appointments. But if i asked for a blurb for the website, or if i can take their photo for the site they have complied. Or they hand me leads to jobs, or bring up my name to people who they think i should meet or be involved with. I appreciate them all. 

WE SEEK ONLY TO END OUR SLAVERY TO FATE.

I look at journals of other yogis and wonder how the hell do they do it. And something clicked in me. Just Do It. Yeah so what, Nike my come down on my yogini booty for stealing it's line, but it's too true. 

She's a yogi, guys.
That's like a spiritual teacher.

 One shoe does not make a shoe obsessed woman. I am not a shoe obsessed woman, but i have the makings to be.

>Not freeing your mind from mindless materialism
>fancies herself a yogi
no, cool.

For a while now, one of my students at the gym calls me their guru. When she does this it makes me all shifty and nervousy. Its a title i don't feel comfortable with no matter how they feel about it. I try and pass it off and do the "awwwwwwww shucks"  thing.

Today someone called me their mentor. Again the comfortableness of this is overwhelming and i started to protest. Then someone shouted out of no where, just accept it and say thank you!. I had to chuckle on the inside with that comment.

Like why even do this shit if you've completely missed the point of doing it in the first place?
It's a spiritual practice. If you don't buy into the religious part of the spiritualist thing you're like those women who practice Kabbalah without being Jewish.
Yoga isn't really a thing meant to stand on its own.

 I just believe that they are their own teachers and their own mentors. That the yoga will take them where they need to go if they just take the time to listen to themselves and their bodies. One of my students put it best, i'm like a river guide. Just giving a little nudge here and there when needed, but ultimately it's them. 

Deeeeeeeep.
Idiot.

 I am usually the last person to ask for anything from someone. But i ask, for those healers on my friend's lists, random people who check out my journal, will you please send good thoughts, Reiki, and healing energies to my dog Mena. 

Healing energies.
That's a thing, is it?

okay okay, to those who know me know that this whole Michael Vick thing pisses me off. i think he's a douche, and needs to be stripped naked chained up and let  PETA and all Animal lovers have at him. i'm sorry i cannot practice Ahisma towards this man.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
 Man, this Buddha guy.

My Baptists parents accepts and encourages my yoga and meditation practice. 

Why wouldn't they? From what I've read so far it's basically devoid of any of the actual essence of the religion it's from.

My Catholic boyfriend accept and encourages my yoga and meditation practice. He even accepts my leanings towards Buddhism.

Your sweeping ignorance of the subject suggests they're only very slight leanings.
Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates

one of my yoga students gave me this for a christmas present. and i started to use it for my forty day sadhana because it would dive deeper into the yamas and niyamas.

Buddhism isn't even something that's supposed to stand on its own. It's not even, strictly speaking, a religion. It fits more comfortably into the workings of another religion.
I say you slap that shit right on top of whatever bullshit beliefs you already have.
Oh but no wait Buddhism gets pretty hardcore at times. Better just stick to bullshit.
This blog goes on and on about nonsense.
I legitimately can't believe how fucking long this blog is and yet it says precisely fuck all.
I'm left with the perplexing question of "what was so mundane that she had to hide behind friends only"?
Anyway this is putting me to sleep so I'm gonna go.