I have waited long for this day

By "long" I mean "since Friday" because holy fuck people, you have to be more conductive to interesting entries. I sat around for about an hour looking for a good blog to riff on, and I came to the conclusion that to be even the least bit amusing I'd have to expressly not post about whatever blog I found. I considered doing that, or perhaps even revisiting one of the old favorites, but that felt like cheating. Rehashing.
Praise be for this glorious day, though. Chiquitachica (some name you have there) brings the proverbial goods.
Anno Domini Two Thousand and Eight, December 29.

Santa Claus. IF I ever have kids, I don't want to teach them to believe in Santa Claus.

Smart, really. Superstitions are stupid. Really, to me, it sends them the completely wrong message. It compels them to do good for some external reward rather than wanting to good for the sake of doing good. It creates disingenuous people.

Ok before you go into hysterics!! Open your mind and listen why...

No I was agreeing with you, actually.
I mean I don't necessarily agree that pounding every last ounce of fun out of childhood is a good thing, but hey it's certainly your prerogative.

Yes, I remember the excitement and anticipation of discovering the gifts that Santa brought on Christmas morning. I definitely do not want to deprive my children of that joy.

So we're in agreement still.

But the reason children love Santa Claus so much is that he is the guy that brings the presents. Most children are actually terrified of the physical representation of this guy.

They are?

So, since I am a believer of God, and I believe that God gave His Son as a Gift to the world, and that Jesus was the perfect example and the perfect sacrifice so that anyone who accepts that Gift may spend eternity in Heaven...

Oh boy. Here it is.

I would prefer that my children grow up remembering THAT as the reason that we give gifts to them, and to one another.

Yeah, you know, exactly the original meaning of Christmas.

Instead of writing to Santa, I'd like my kids to pray to God for things.... and instead of thinking that their gifts came from a mythical man in a red suit, I'd like for them to thank God for providing for them, and to know that they are blessed by GOD.

oh so instead of praying to a mythical man who obviously doesn't exist, they'll pray to God who CLEARLY is real. Makes perfect sense.
Also glad to see you're instilling your children with the ability to solve their own problems. No, instead of working to earn what you want instead sit back and really, really hope it comes true because it will. This definitely won't create passive, superstitious fuckwits or anything.

Even non-believers want to believe sometimes. And that makes me smile.

Personally I pray to Moros, daughter of Erebus and Nyx.

God likes it when we pray, no matter what! (but don't forget to say "Thanks" for the things He already gave you)

That's what I like about Moros. No rituals, no symbols, no cult, no followers.
Okay now there's some baby pictures or something. I always like these because I get an indepth look at the person I'm reviewing. It's like an added bonus because they really didn't have to go to all that trouble for my amusement.

I'm pretty sure that in all my time on earth,

All, what, TWENTY TWO years of it or something?

Every time I remember that OBAMA WON... I get a little tiny adrenaline rush and a little rush of excitement. Every time they talk about it on TV the same thing happens.

I don't know. I just have a good feeling about this.

"I just have a good feeling about this." Famous last words if I've ever heard them.
Now there's an entry entitled "some delightful randomness" which I really appreciate the heads up, because I am skipping this bullshit.

A couple of weeks ago my friend Jennifer asked me to take some photos of her pregnant, while she was still pregnant!

Take some photos of her pregnant, while she was still pregnant.
I give up, is this a zen riddle? How can you take pictures of someone pregnant without them being pregnant?
Oh, no wait, I know the answer to this one. I read that some nutty women want to be pregnant so much they actually trick themselves into believing they are, with suitable physical symptoms to match, but they actually aren't. So that way she would, at least in appearance, be pregnant but not actually.
Yes, I am now enlightened.
Looking at these pictures-- white trash tattoo spotted on her right upper arm. Class act, you.

I happen to know, from experience and from not being superficial,

Yeeeeeeeeees?

(and from the BIBLE!) that the opinions of the masses.... i.e. society, "other people," people I don't know, the status quo...

Oh well excuse me, if the BIBLE says it it has to be fucking true, right?
You know, even the parts that talk about the firmament above the Earth and the giants and unicorns and shit like that? All true!

Their opinions do not affect me, nor do they matter. That is not where my value lies, and it is not my source of decision-making. they are not the people I aim to please, in my daily life.

Not true at all! Remember when the vast majority of people believed the earth was flat? They were right! Case closed.

I used to go to a church where everyone acted like they were perfect Christians and never did anything wrong. For one thing, that's totally impossible. We all have sinned, and do sin.

This God fellow, what a jerk. Always judging his followers and calling them guilty and sinners-- that's what I like about Moros. Never judges me, never asks questions. Shit, she doesn't even require followers. I just threw in because I liked the cut of her jib.
Now there's some pictures of her and some other bimbo and some Michael Phelps-look alike but sans the success, fame and money. Also the women.
He also looks impotent (you can tell by looking).
Wow you're kind of fat. I couldn't tell before because you were doing that old Myspace trick of taking all your photos at a downward angle to hide your massive girth but now that someone else is clearly taking the photos they don't lie.
Wait let me check-- no your chin is normal size. I also know girls with HUGE MAN CHINS to do this to hide their huge Lurch jaws.

dear nabisco: when i buy a box of flavored triscuits, why do some of them taste really good, and others just taste like tree bark? love, kaela

A question of the ages. I have oft wondered the same thing about Cheez-Its.

So, if you know me, or read my blog much, you know that I'm not really into politics. I consider myself apathetic. Well, apathetic is really a cover-up for how I really feel, so I don't have to talk about it.

Remember, Kaela: to withdraw in disgust is not apathy.

But what about the part of our country who doesn't belong to any sort of religion? If they don't have a set of religious beliefs preventing them from practicing a lifestyle of homosexuality, then what is really wrong with allowing them to make a lifetime commitment to their same-sex partner?

Hey whoa you're forgetting the absolute best part of Christianity: forcing people who don't agree with you to conform to your own ethics.

Would you argue the same for groups such as Nambla? They too are arguing legalization.

This is a comment someone made.
Also if you can't see the difference between two adults pledging their faith to each other and pederasty, then I think you might want to invest in a dictionary.

So far I have lost FIVE POUNDS!!!

Let us reward ourselves with a large helping of cake, because nothing chases weight loss like a nice slice of cake.
And you know what chases cake down? More cake.

Since I was worried that my child (my dog) might die, I didn't even notice until I got home that a wild pack of CHIGGERS had attacked my underwear area.

Hey, whoa that's racist and-- oh, oh chiggers, ha, ha. I was about to say I didn't expect you to be the type.

Can't other people learn from our mistakes as well, so that they dont have to go through the same struggles?

I think that's the beauty of free will, Kaela. You are free to learn (or indeed not learn) from anything you please.

I would let you win when we play video games.

Chyah like a girl could beat me at any video game.
Also you live in Texas. TEXAS.

Clint recently got married, about 6 months ago, to a girl named C'arron.

Wow that is some name.

crap. i just typed a huge long entry and i accidentally closed it.

HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?
I just pushed closed my eyes, pushed my mouse in the direction towards the close button and clicked it and I still missed. I tried several times and still couldn't achieve this by accident.
Also are you ready for this awesome joke she told?

so on a lighter note, here are some photos from the week.

my face:

LIGHTER AND YOUR FACE TOGETHER IN A SENTENCE? HA, HA, HA, HA GOOD ONE
AH, HA, HA--
Also entry over.