It's back again

This feeling called "despair!"
I found a fanfiction blog of Super Robot Wars--
that's a thing you can write fanfiction about.
Super Robot Wars is basically a series of video games where a bunch of nerds in Japan got together in the late 80s and said "what if Getter Robo and Gundam took place in the same universe?" and has been continuing unmitigated ever since.
But now it includes Gundam and Voltron and Mazinger Z and Combattler V and tons of other shit.
Also original characters.
Basically it's a fanfiction video game series but it only involves giant fighting robots.
I'm rather fond of the series, honestly, but writing fanfiction about fanfiction is pretty fucking stupid and also gay.
I'm not sure why I'm talking about it because I'm not reviewing it because it'd only piss me off and I'd have to explain why it did so meaning no one would enjoy any aspect of it.
I just thought I'd inform the people it exists.
Speaking of unmitigated disasters--
this.

Happy solstice, darlings! I hope everyone stays unmelted/unfrozen as applicable in the coming months and gets to do some great seasonally-appropriate activities.


In other news, does anyone have recs for awesome Celtic music?

How self indulgent is that?
RECOMMEND ME CELTIC MUSIC.
What does that assume?
It assumes enough people read her shitty blog and care enough to actually say "oh yea, scheherezhad, here's some Celtic music I listen to!"
The percent of people that read this blog has to be nonexistant.
The number of people who listen to Celtic music is also nonexistant.
PUT THE TWO TOGETHER.
Incredibly she has a comment.
I can only think of two words for a comment: "fuck" and "off" but let's see.

Happy Solstice. 

Says Sperrywink, putting the bare minimum of effort into even acknowledging this is a paragraph.
Good job, really.

It's time to find myself something different to have for lunch at work. I've been carrying salads most days for the past...two months, maybe? And the last two mornings as I've stood in the kitchen, my face has involuntarily spasmed into a sneer of disgust when I reached for the veggies.

So I don't know what I'm going to switch to. I'm sick of just about everything I can think of that doesn't require cooking, and I hate cooking in our kitchen because there's no work space, so I just don't. Also I'm lazy. Also I try not to eat a lot of box meals or frozen meals anymore. And I'm kind of picky, to boot. That leaves, like, crackers and cheese, basically.

Oh, only delicious cheese and crackers for lunch?
Fucking woe betides you, I guess.

In other news, seriously Teen Wolf?

Within the first three episodes of the season, we have four dead bodies. Of them, three (3) are women.

I don't understand these fucking women whining about death in fiction.
These aren't real people.
Also every single one fancies herself the queen of nerds and a hardcore giiiiiiirl gamer xP to boot.
What fucking video games are you playing?
Three bodies?
I need ten times that body count to even acknowledge something is happening on my screen.
My FFXIV character kicked a guy so hard he lit on fire and one inch punched a guy in the solar plexus so hard his heart stopped.
That was the quest that introduced combat.
In the first twenty minutes of gameplay she reckt two dudes so hard their mothers were feeling the pain.
Also that's a smart move from two fucking sewer rats.
Rob the person that has literally killed gods.
Achievements for killing quintuple digits but these two sewer urchins have her number.
Brilliant.

Of these three, one is a black girl who didn't even get a fucking name, and one is a lesbian. (The other is a blonde white girl who disappeared from her own 17th birthday party. Who wants to guess which one of these deaths would get the most attention from the local media?)

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you?

Because I am not laughing.

Well you know it's like they say: it's hard to stop dunking when all you see are hoops.
I feel sick, honestly. You've fridged three women (and traumatized one's girlfriend) to advance the story of your (mostly white) male protagonists.
Other things my FFXIV character can do:
fists of fire
conjure giant ice meteors from space
illegal thaumaturgy
leap impossible distances into the stratosphere and goatse people on a giant fuck off severed claw of a dead god
but you know
the hapless bandits in the sewers think they're an even match.

In three episodes. And now I'm even sadder because I just thought, "this is something I'd expect from Supernatural."

Even aside from that, I feel like the plot is a goddamn mess half the time. I need to quit this show. (I can't even break up with it like I did Glee, because my emotional investment is rooted in fandom, not canon!)

I can't imagine even feeling these emotions about fiction.
If doing things in fiction is this awful then I'm a provably awful person because I have done some terrible things in fiction.
Hell Civilization alone makes me at least as bad as Hitler.
Actually EVE Online probably makes me a Hitler, too. I can only imagine what I've done to the poor people on the planets I use the planetary interaction on.
Probably some innocent tribe of some primitive whatever people and suddenly I land a robot army on their shit.
I'd feel bad about this shit but, you know, it ain't be real.

I feel I should mention that I was reading random Teen Wolf fics the other day, and I ended up reading one where--I am not even a little kidding--in the middle of sex, Stiles surprises Derek with an engagement ring that he had stored in his ass.

Yeah you can get married in FFXIV soon.
I had a few proposals but I think Edie is only married to conflict.
I think once your skill set includes efficacious thaumaturgical rites and martial arts akin to a Bruce Lee movie or Fist of the North Star you're officially beyond petty emotions like love and romance.

It was just stuck in there. Tied to a pen cap so he wouldn't lose it. And while he is fucking Derek he just reaches down to pull it out and is like, "let's get married now." As you do.

Well I don't know about you but that's where I hide all my valuables.

So I caught the gross man-cold my dad had last weekend. I've spent the past few days working, sleeping, and knitting in bed with Yu Yu Hakusho on. In the midst of the Dark Tournament right now (although currently taking a break for Hannibal). It's interesting to rewatch the series as a grown-ass person who has now done a lot more reading on gender, social justice, and media literacy.

As a social justice warrior she can see the obvious glaring problems of a fucking cartoon intended for teenage boys made in the mid-90s.
Bang up job, retard.

Janet Stephens is a forensic hair dresser. She recreates ancient hairstyles based on depictions from things like coins and portrait busts, using period-appropriate tools and extrapolated techniques. She got started in this when she started examining Roman portrait busts and determined that these elaborate styles were likely created with the women's own hair rather than, as popular theory suggested, by the use of wigs.

That's a job you can have.
Forensic hair dresser.
I hate to be that guy that shits on any sort of knowledge because you never know when that'll evolve into a technique to identify dead bodies or something like that but really who cares?
It was well understood that Roman busts were actual representations of real people and it was really their hair because, you know, THEY FUCKING WROTE DOWN WHAT THEY DID.
Even if they didn't it was well known Caesar didn't like the fact he was going bald and yet all of his busts are him as a baldo so clearly the Romans took realistic representation in busts seriously.

One time, several years ago, I was reading a fic. I had to give up when it, in all seriousness, used the phrase "synchronistic dance armies."

Not to be a dick about it but that sounds fucking rad.
Has anyone seen the preview for that indie game coming out, Crypt of the NecroDancer, speaking of?
That game looks amazing.

On my way home from work today, I briefly ended up behind a dickwad who was in such a huge hurry to get wherever ze was going that ze passed multiple vehicles on a narrow, winding access road with a double yellow line. 

>ze
fucking kill yourself I'm dead fucking serious.
Ze.
The grammatical thing to do is assume she.

Like, srsly? Probably wherever you're going is not important enough to endanger lives, okay person? And after that one, I was behind someone who had no damn idea where they were going, and so they also were driving dangerously. Awesome. :/

Ze was on hir way to hormone replacement therapy and privilege checking class so fuck yourself.

A Comprehensive List of Male Characters Who Appeal to Me and Are Not Broken or Fucked Up in Some Way:

• Evan Lorne

 Who?
What?

In other news, I was going to sign up for the newsletter on a site I was interested in following, but their process is problematic in several ways. I opted not to subscribe after all and emailed them to let them know why. Being asked to enter my email address four different times? 

OHHHH LORD I PRAY YOU GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO HELP ME CARRY ON
'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
TO WALK ALONG THE LONELY STREET OF DREAMS

Strike one. Gender field required and only options are "female," "male," and "couple"? Strike two. Required field called Salutation that only has options that are gendered forms of address or titles/ranks, with no neutral option or opt-out? Thanks for playing, but you struck out.

>not scrolling past the 47 other gender options to "cisgender" only to be told I'll be monitored to make sure I don't offend people
>2013

But back to paganism. I know I have quite a few people here on ye olde fliste who identify as pagan, but we very rarely talk about it. So I was thinking we could have a bit of a discussion post here? No pressure to participate, as there are lots of reasons people may not want to talk about their beliefs.

Here's what I think of every time I hear a bunch of snowflake "pagans" talking or see them writing shit:

This is going to descend so rapidly into goddess worship I can feel it.
Nope it's a boring post about the typical I'M WICCAN LOL xP
fucking people shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.

You know how sometimes you're reading a fic that's just...okay enough, and if it wasn't one of your pet pairings you'd probably quit reading? And then there's this one line that tanks the whole thing for you?

Yeah.

I was reading one of those, and the characters were trying to solve a problem. So one of them was sort of wondering aloud, asking if something was plausible and could maybe help them get things sorted. The other one replied with a line that was essentially, "Leave the thinking to the men-folk, sweet-cheeks."

I think my face actually turned into an angry tumblr gif at that moment.

Sound advice.

Remember in the 90s when people said "Poof! Be gone!"?

No?
What?
Literally no one in the history of earth has said that.

Today, all I've done is veg out and watch 90s video game-based movies. I've lounged through a triple feature of Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, and Double Dragon.

You know I gotta give you some credit at least.
Doing that has been known to kill people.
I myself wouldn't just casually sit through those three back to back.
I'd have to have suitable motivation like being drunk and with friends.
Or possibly dead.

SF was the strongest overall, I think. MK was weaker because it was more about the fighting and didn't do a lot of characterization, and the plot required more suspension of disbelief. DD was just so goofy I can't even honestly critique it.

Wow.
A movie about a fighting video game had too much fighting in it.
I can see where you'd want to waste time-- I mean spend time-- on characterization in a Mortal Kombat movie, though.
Remember the incredibly complex character motivation of Reptile?
So named because he had a reptile head.
Or my personal favorite: Sub-Zero.
Named, because, and hold on to your shit this is going to get really complex: he can freeze people.
Or the other ninja recolor, Scorpion?
Named Scorpion because--
actually come to think of it why the fuck was he named Scorpion?
Oh shit I never posted this.
Har har maybe someone will see it--
whoops.
Also my head hurts too much to update so enjoy your Friday update Monday, plebeians.