Oh my God I gotta review this shit

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Cats or dogs-- which do you prefer, and why?

Thanks a lot for this writer's block incidentally, Livejournal.
Jackass.
Remember when I told you you needed to help me out here? Ever since you got rid of categories you've had to make this writer's block garbage good.
This is you not helping a guy out.

Cats. Cats are smaller, less of a hassle, always go to the bathroom in the same place (for the most part), are quieter, and can pretty much take care of themselves.

Except when you have to feed and groom and clean their shit box and when they hassle you a million times a day for treats they don't eat.
Otherwise 100% self sufficient.

Dogs are better for more interactive people, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Why am I reading "more interactive people" as "people with a personality"?
OH MY GOD HERE'S A LIST OF HER TOP FIVE FAVORITE PAIRINGS!
I'M FUCKING GIDDY AT THE PROSPECT OF BEING ABLE TO READ ABOUT HER FAVORITE PAIRINGS!!

) Rick O'Connell x Evelyn Carnahan (The Mummy, The Mummy Returns)
~I love the chemistry between these two in The Mummy.

Whatever.

2) Asakura Yoh x Tao Ren (Shaman King by Hiroyuki Takei)
~Let's be serious here, I think even Takei ships these two (good God Ren, do you ever put on a shirt?).

I used to watch this show when I was 14 and I don't seem to recall any gay sex in it at all.
In fact I'm pretty sure they were both engaged to women despite being, well, 14 themselves.

Their rivalry and ensuing friendship is focused on the most out of Yoh's friendships with anyone else, and through knowing him, Ren became a better person--or rather, the person he always wanted to be. Yoh also ran right off to China to rescue Ren from his father despite only knowing him a short time, and was willing to abandon his dream

He can't just be a good guy. It must be gay lust.
I don't care about this, why am I reading it?
Here's her review of Amnesia: The Dark Descent. It's a computer game about being tormented by a weird flesh monster and you can't see shit and it's supposed to be scary I guess although the only scary part of it was the monster headache I got due to the annoying sound effects.

FUCK YEAH, I finally took down this bitch of a PC horror game. *sips celebratory Sunkist*

I figure I may as well review it while I'm still in the mood, so here's my two cents for anyone who hasn't played this little gem from Frictional Games yet. I have to say for a team of only about five people, they did fairly well. They got some top-notch voice acting and the level designs are well done and intricate. The music is awesome too. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Can't wait to read 15 paragraphs without a single mention of game play.

How's the game play? Let me start off by saying this is a horror-survival game.

... Oh.
All right.
You know I was going to talk about how I can't fucking believe someone brought up game play in a video game but this is exactly what you should be doing so I'm going to save the sarcasm and say it's about fucking time one of you cunts got the hang of video games.

When I say survival, I mean it. Like Silent Hill - Shattered Memories (which this game trumps by a mile IMO), you are not given any sort of weapon in the game. You learn there is nothing you can do against the monsters chasing you or "the shadow." You, as Daniel, have to rely on running your ass off and hiding in the darkness to escape enemies. Seems easy, right? Wrong.

Easy as fuck.
If you get a game over in Amnesia you are fucking stupid.

The darkness is a double-edged sword that hides you from enemies but also drives Daniel insane the longer he sits in it. Going insane messes up your vision, makes it difficult to walk and gives you all sorts of sound effects that make it rather difficult to focus.

Make it difficult to THINK STRAIGHT GOD MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS PLAYING THIS GARBAGE.
I'd just let the monster kill me to end the agony that is my head if I were Daniel.
What a pussy. HURRR MONSTERS ARE SCARY AND DARKNESS IS SCARY man up you puss.
The darkness makes Daniel insane are you fucking kidding me? How old is he, 9?

This is not a great thing to have happen when you're stuck in a dungeon with very little light. This is a game that requires you to be very careful with your supply of necessities, mostly tinderboxes (matches) for lighting candles and so forth, and lantern oil. (I hoarded the hell out of the tinderboxes myself--I suggest doing the same and lighting them sparingly until you really need to conserve your lantern oil. This is where the tinder comes in most handy, and I had over 30 left by the time I finished.)

"I had over 30 by the time I finished"
"but you have to hoard them"
"but I had 30 of them"
"but you have to hoard them"
You know--
forget it.

The game is part survival, part puzzle-solving for the most part. It requires you to pay attention to your surroundings, and most of all, to be a snoop. Look around everywhere you go--you'll find interesting things.

So what I've gotten in one massive paragraph about game play is that in a survival horror game the main point of the game is surviving horror.
I'm not going to be too mean about this because I'm very pleased you mentioned game play at all let alone first but still that is somewhat redundant.
Also "you'll find some interesting things", really?
IN A VIDEO GAME?
INTERESTING THINGS?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

The appeal of the game is the story and atmosphere. The beginning itself tells you that this is not a game you play to win--it's about immersing yourself in the story, the helplessness of the amnesia-stricken protagonist, and finding out what happened to cause all the ensuing insanity.

AKA "we couldn't figure out how to balance a game for difficulty so we're just going to pretend this is an immersive experience."

This game has four endings in total depending on what you choose to do. The endings in my opinion could have been a little bit longer, and the most satisfying one can be a pain in the ass to get if you aren't sure what to do. But that said, two out of the four endings aren't really bad. Your opinion of them will depend on your perception of Daniel and his story.

Really one of the first survival horror games, Clock Tower, had 9 endings.
Am I the only one that feels we've moved backwards sometimes?

What is the strangest thing someone has confessed to you?

I had a guy confess to me he got a boner once while shooting a deer.
It was me and these two chicks and all I could do was make a concerned face at them.
I was just sure one of them was next, you know.
I even offered to walk them to their cars after class.
Why in the fuck would you say that to someone?
They refused and he never came back to class. True fucking story.
I'm just sure they're both girl suits by now.
Sorry I could help you but you really should have let me walk you to your cars~
That guy also used to hum Pokemon theme songs in class. Really loudly before class.
It was so fucking weird.

A few years ago a guy I worked with but hardly knew told me out of nowhere while we were working how he and a friend were mugged once,

You're not trumping my story don't even try.
Holy Christ this entry was flagged as 18+.
I just agreed to 14+, why are you changing the ratings on me?
Oh.
She's looking for a gay anime porno.
I'd keep that shit to myself if I were you.
Here's her top 10 favorite girl names.
Because I was sure wondering.

Top 10 Girl Names: Lydia, Chynna, Star, Clare, Liesel, Bianca, Harmony, Joy, Joyce, Irene

Do you want your girl to grow up to be a porn star?
Chynna, are you fucking kidding me?
Lydia's all right I suppose.
Star is nope.
Claire is the nondouche spelling.
Liesel is a word you made up--
Bianca is nope--
Harmony, why?
Joy is all right if she's Chinese.
Joyce is the same.
Irene the same too, actually.
So unless these are Chinese girls this list is unacceptable.

Top 10 Boy Names: Wesley, Siegfried, Dante, Micah, Ivan, Travis, Dolph, Colin, Marik/Malik, Tobias

Why do you hate your children?

Top 10 Unisex Names: Hillary, Kelly, Mika, Reese, Hope, Angel, Seto, Gabriel, Artemis, Chance

Gabriel is a man's name
Hillary is a girl's name
so is Kelly
Reese is a candy--
Hope is a stripper's name--
Seto is a last name--
Artemis is a goddess' name and I don't suffer this heresy lightly--
Chance is a concept, not a name.
What is this shit?

In a bit of pretty ridiculous news, this woman is paying $50,000 dollars to have her dog cloned.

I know this is my "positive" journal but it's shit like this that makes me want to pack up my bags and leave the planet: people spending what some of us don't even make a year to revive a stupid dog that isn't even that cute to begin with. I'm against cloning personally for numerous reasons

Recidivist.
Why do you hate progress?
Also who are you to judge how she spends her money?
You just had a post about your Pokemon dolls.
I say if this idiot wants to fund glorious cloning technology by making dumb decisions we should welcome her.

I only find the practice acceptable if it's for the benefit of medical research (like cloning cancer-resistant cells or something).

People don't do research for free, idiot. Cloning dogs for 50k a pop gives that lab money to do more research.
And then cybernetics at some point.
I hope.
I'm a quarter through my life about, guys. You want to hurry this shit along while I'm alive?

But this is just fucking stupid. All of that money could have been used to help hundreds of animals find loving homes or be rescued from terrible ones, but nope, this broad is obsessed with bringing one dumb mutt back to life.

This is like Biblical shit. This is sorcery.

Loving a pet is great, but in situations like this, you should ask yourself how completely out of your mind you are to want something like this. The dog isn't going to be the same as your first one no matter how hard you try anyway--you can't clone souls.

I call bullshit.
No such thing as a soul.
Here's a post where she blames Square Enix for a bad year (seriously)--
Man, Square can't catch a fucking break.
Look I hated FF13 as much as you can hate something but cool it with that shit.

Also FUCK the damn Elite Four in Pearl. Level 70 Poke'mon while I'm still stuck around 45-50 when I actually get there? Fuck no. I am not going to commit another X amount of hours VERY SLOWLY leveling up my Poke'mon just to beat a bunch of assholes in a game I couldn't care less about.

Haha having trouble with Pokemon games is this kid serious?
Oh my God so much bullshit in this blog I'm not reading.
I finished all Edie's artifact armor.
I gotta save the pictures for a really slow day--
like Wednesday, probably, but here's one:
Exposed midriff, smart move for armor you're using to deflect bites from dragons.
I guess looking slutty is more important than not getting fucking killed when you're Edie Hart.
Not that anything can actually kill Edie Hart.
Anyway I gotta go put salad on a shelf tomorrow.
For nine hours.
Starting at 5 AM.
Why are people shopping at 5 AM?
That's the most disturbing part of this job in my opinion.
I mean I have to be here-- if I'm not I get fired.
Why are you here?
Oh God why am I still reading this shitty blog?
Anyway I'm out.
LIKE SHOUT.