I thirst

FFXIV patch is now.
Can't wait for that Garuda fight. I thirst for blood.
That fight is going to be fucking
sweet
speaking of unrelated things, check this shit out.
Pleasingly the Garuda fight music seems to be a knock off of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor so that'll be great.
Really baroque music fits some giant magical bird bitch scaring the shit out of you I think.

Okay, so...I'm considering getting a Mumble (like Ventrilo) server mostly because of Mom.

You see, as of the moment, most of our attempts to play TOR go like this:

Playing TOR with your mom, wow.
Actually I could just end that thought with "playing TOR".

So Vector finally broke down and gave me presents (despite my fail!attempt to break up with him.  I swear, game, if you make my character get pregnant, she is so getting an abortion.

My character was so malevolent no one loved her.
That's how you show Bioware what for.

You have been warned.  No babies if I say no. NONE!)  And not just one!  Three!  With little vaguely cryptic, strangely weird, and kind of sweet notes.

Any option that was basically "shut up and let's get down to murder" was the one I picked. NO TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT, ANYONE. YOU ARE HERE TO PROP ME UP DURING MURDER.
Don't care that the blue bitch is some kind of kinky sex slave, don't care that some guy is something with his career, don't care that some Jedi bitch is doing the so edgy and deep goth thing in her 20s, don't care that some Irish guy is some sort of elite black ops dude--
Then I quit the game.
Great.

The presents don't make much sense, but that's okay.  I don't care. They're presents.  And I'm sure that Vector really thought he was being romantic when he sent me notes where he:

No one gave my character presents.

3.  Some odd ball stuff about the smell and taste of my character being all he knows about her, which would probably come off as creepy if this wasn't being delivered by bug!Sheldon. 

Yeah some yahoo tried that with my character.
Then she force choked him to death.
I was never prouder.

So, I have a new favorite class in TOR.  This would be the Jedi Counselor. Why, you may ask.  Well, because somehow Bioware managed to get a pretty, pretty Jedi Princess into an MMO, and it is awesome.

There are many amazing things about this class.  The first is that I can be so freaking bitchy in virtually all dialogue options.

Nope don't care time for killing.
Glad I picked Sith Warrior because I don't think I could have handled dialogue very well otherwise.
Mostly because her sarcastic expression neatly mirrors my own at every single hamfisted attempt at witty dialogue on Bioware's part.

There is almost always the opportunity to explain that someone is stupid, that they're an idiot or that I hate them.

What a great game.
Really a great game for women because the game play only gets in the way of shopping at the mall, talking on the cellphone and talking to boys once in a while.

There are also ample opportunities to explain why I had to slaughter tribes of small children or leave villagers to perish in flames

My character killed someone for even asking her why she executed an entire tribe of natives.
You'd think he would have been smart enough to not question why the murder machine murdered someone.

But even better is my first love interest. You see, he's this totally smarmy guy who has a thing for his droid assistant. Yes.  He is a guy who, despite that I can flirt with him (and I suspect sleep with him as he'll become a companion), would really rather be playing WoW and sleeping with the avatar of some guy pretending to be a girl. 

And yet my character also had this problem. Everyone, man or woman, flung themselves at her.
I guess people just like psychotic-level killing instinct mixed with sorcerous powers.
I guess she had a hot accent and was a brown girl so people could overlook the obvious personality flaws.

For instance, by the end of my game, my character had been physically tortured at least three times, threatened with sexual assault, and had at least two sexual encounters (one reasonably graphic) that appeared to disgust her. 

I didn't even know your character could get tortured. Mine was always doing that.
Can you suck at an MMO?
I guess so.

This is in addition to having her allies tortured, killed, and threatened, having her own side betray her multiple times (and worked to betray them a few times), and quite literally lost her mind and free will for a third of the game. 

Wow.
Robbed of your free will for a third of the game, so just like playing an MMO.
FUCKING ZING.

It is OMG grimdark on an epic scale. It’s one of the few games that I had to turn off and step away from.

That's grimdark?
A little torture and some sex?
You really don't know the meaning of grimdark, do you?

So...my now second highest character is a Jedi Counselor. I'm kind of annoyed, in that I imagined her as all evil and Machievellian, yet the game is still making her wander around the galaxy, sacrificing her own life to heal other people.

Evil and Machiavellian?
ONLY A JEDI COULD BE LIKE THIS!
Idiot.
You know when you first made a character you had the blue swirly army and the red hexagon army?
Guess which one visually looked evil and Machiavellian?
The one you didn't pick, dipshit.
Here's a post entitled "affection in SWTOR is weird" and I'm tired of talking about this game now.
I don't know what affection is like in that game, actually.

Anyway, so Nano, as some of us are aware of, is short for "National Write a Novel Month".  Which inherently isn't a horrible thing.  I mean, sometimes you need to force yourself to write and not edit to get anything done. I get that, and honestly think that good stuff can come out of it, provided the author is willing to edit a lot.

No it can't.
Invariably shitty fanfiction and worse derivative shlock comes from national suck a cock month.

Let me throw out that the last words are key to the success of this project.

Anyway, I wandered over to the forums today and saw "find beta readers", which made me think, "Oh, yay! People get that novels need to be edited before they're worth reading!"

Most of the best writers didn't really need editors or proofreaders. They did all that themselves.

It took me 6,500 words to get my protagonist laid for the first time in the story.  (He had to make his dramatic exit first, fend off the wiles of his betrothed, and escape the evil clutches of his antagonist!)  I'm wondering if that's too long or just right.  Huh.

Took me two entire paragraphs before the violence started so I'm guessing that's a bit long.
Then again I'm not one for fucking around in writing so I guess that's par for the course.
Another reason I'm the best alive.
Anyway back. Fucked off and did other stuff then I tried the new FFXIV patch.
Beat Garuda easy mode literally 10 seconds before the entire game went down for 5 hours of emergency maintenance.
Those servers sure are fucked up, man.
Hope they don't roll back my Garuda victory.
It's a cool fight, too. Similar to Ifrit and Moogle but less frantic which is interesting because they played up how frantic Garuda was and how she's MADE OF WIND and shit. You have to hide behind rocks though which is an interesting mechanic.
Not sure she's different enough from the last two to warrant the "hardest boss we've ever had in this game" tag, though. She's pretty much straight damage with a big explosive move followed by increased damage.
I guess the plumage move that blows up the rocks you use to hide is pretty original but then again everyone I was with knew instantly what those were about.
I guess Garuda feels more defensive than Ifrit, which was basically an evasion fight and the Moogles, which was 100% offense.
Oh right, blogs.
... Man this blog is all about cosplaying. I guess I should be thankful it isn't fanfiction but come on.
Oooooh nope. Going to sleep.
Goodbye.