K

K
OK
OK
OK COOL
OK
COOL

Okay, so I honestly think I am literally going to scream if one more person of any religious background tries to tell me I'm wrong for not celebrating Christmas. The last thing I want to do is tell other non-Christians that they're wrong for feeling whatever way they do about Christmas, but it simply is not and will never be a secular holiday to me, so please stfu forever about it. Do not tell me that it is a secular holiday. It's not to me.

Wait so--
you do or don't celebrate Christmas?
And you are or aren't a Christian?
Tell other non-Christians--
so that implies you're not.
So you're not celebrating and you're not.

The fact that it's also about ~peace and love and charity~ does not make it a secular holiday to me. The fact that it's overly comercialized anyway does not make it a secular holiday to me. The fact that many Christmas traditions were pagan traditions originally does not make it a secular holiday to me (especially since, wtf, Wicca was the religion I converted from). The fact that some non-Christians celebrate it too does not make it a secular holiday to me.

All right--
I think I follow.
It's a religious holiday, I get it.
Also
>Wicca
>religion
But whatever.

The fact that I like Christmas music does not make it a secular holiday to me. The fact that the powerful majority celebrates it does not make it secular and I find it all kinds of gross and invalidating of my identity to hear people talk about how ~Christmas is an American tradition!~

IT RUSTLES MY LABELS.
Prepare for labels.
I haven't read any of this post yet but I know it's coming.

Now, let me be clear: If you are a non-Christian and you feel that Christmas is a secular holiday and you like to celebrate it as such? Good for you. No, really, good for you. Again, my intention is not to tell other non-Christians that they are wrong for feeling differently than I do. I am glad that you are comfortable with it and that you have had the level of religious autonomy in your life required to allow you to be comfortable with that. But I have not. Christmas doesn't mean peace and love and charity to me.

IT'S ABOUT VIOLENT SUBJUGATION OF BARBARIANS. 

Yet every. single. time. that I mention that even though I apprechiate it aesthetically and I have fond memories of it from my childhood, I am not comfortable celebrating Christmas, I get the "Silly Satanist, you don't have to torture yourself by abstaining from Christmas!" speech, and I fucking hate it. No, really, you really do not understand the great depth to which I do not give a shit what Christmas is about to you and your family, my emotions and my history and my religion are not about you, and I don't want to do this.

K have fun being miserable while everyone else is enjoying themselves.
I dunno what this post is about outside of being whiny about a holiday that doesn't even happen for another four fucking months.

Dear mom:

I DO NOT WEAR 2XL. I DIDN'T WEAR 2XL THE LAST TIME YOU BOUGHT ME CLOTHES, I DID NOT WEAR 2XL THE TIME BEFORE THAT WHEN YOU BOUGHT ME CLOTHES, AND I DO NOT WEAR 2XL TODAY. IF YOU ARE GOING TO SHAME ME ABOUT MY CLOTHES SIZE THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS STOP BUYING MY CLOTHES THAT ARE MUCH TOO BIG. 

She's just buying them for you for when you inevitably grow into them.
EH?
EH?
IT'S THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

I feel like I'm being set-up. I tell her these clothes are too big, and she buys them for me anyway and then shames me for how big they are and completely gaslights me when I tell her that my clothes are clearly much too big. It sucks. Seriously, we went shopping in early May and I was wearing Larges, maybe XL if my shoulders were too broad for a certain style. Two weeks later she's coming home with a 2XL dress for me. WTF I DID NOT GO UP TWO DRESS SIZES IN TWO WEEKS AND WHEN I WEAR THAT DRESS IT IS OBVIOUS IT'S TOO BIG. And I pointed this out to her. And today she came home with clothes for me and they were... 2XL.

You're a grown ass woman and your mom does your shopping for you?
Speaking as someone in the same situation it is cool as hell.
Also not to put too fine a point on how incredibly sexist this blog is at times all bitches love to shop for clothes.
I've met hardcore "all men should die" feminists who still get excited over clothes shopping.

"Being happy is a decision. You should make it."

Is the title of this post.
Somehow I doubt it'll be about how much of a twat she is and how she should try to be less of one.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. I have tried to make that decision. I have been trying for months, and do you know what it's gotten me? Several panic attacks, a complete train-wreck of a semester, and more mornings than I can count where getting out of bed seemed like the most terrifying thing I had ever done. I am not unhappy because I want to be unhappy. I am unhappy because the chemistry in my brain won't let me be anything else. For a while it even had me convinced that if I tried to get help, no one would believe me and it would just make everything so much worse. 

Wait, holy shit.
I get to dig one of my favorite pictures out and use it without irony.
Hang on--











Says a comment:

Hi, I stumbled upon your journal (from ontd_feminism, where I liked your insights regarding the wrongness of allowing would-be fathers to have a say in abortion) and this post just called out to me because I've been there.

I'VE BEEN THERE MAN
IN THE TRENCHES

I hate people's bootstrap theories about mental health; they have exactly zero idea what they're on about. Happiness is not a choice but a privilege, as any thinking person should immediately grasp.

CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE
HAPPINESS PRIVILEGE
EVERYONE SHOULD BE MISERABLE LIKE ME
The fuck happiness isn't a choice.
It isn't always but you sure as fuck can decide to be happy sometimes.
I know.
I've done it.
Here's a post about how someone is apparently a rapist but it's so disjointed and out of context I'm not even going to bother reading it--

So. Two things have happened lately that I need to talk about:

First let's talk about one of my English professors. He's a nice guy about 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time is spent picking apart my nervous rhetorical errors so that he doesn't have to answer me when I point out that he's kind of mansplaining to all of the girls in class right now, mocking me for saying "Happy Holidays!" instead of "Merry Christmas!" and encouraging the sexist men in the class when they go off on tangents about how women are gossipy and boring. 

"mansplaining".
How about this:
I'm here to educate your ignorant ass so shut the fuck up and leave if you don't fucking like it.
I know I didn't hold your hand through all the scaaaaary privilege in the Odyssey but it's a cultural fucking icon and the greatest book ever written so I'm sorry it's not up to your fucking standards.
How about you write an epic poem in perfect meter while blind and living in a cave and see how great it turns out?
Shithead.
I loved that shit in class.
THE ODYSSEY IS SHIT IT HAS MALE PRIVILEGE
You dumb
fucking
cunt
it was written in like 700 BC
we were three hairs short of being an ape
writing might have been invented for the purpose of writing this story down
it is probably the singular most influential piece of literature of all time
and suddenly
SUDDENLY
it's not good enough for Princess Snowflake here?
Here was my argument in classes like that:
"yeah you're talking about people who had just invented fire. It's pretty progressive by stone age standards."
 Wow that's not even what she's talking about.
I don't care what she's talking about because I know in this class there's someone like me sitting in the back thinking "oh God please let her shut up I just want to get through this lecture I don't want to hear her rant and rave about bullshit. I could be doing something constructive in a video game right now."
Here's a post about another post she didn't link that's apparently really sexist.

I'll spot you the exclusive right to choose,

Men get that when they're pregnant.

maternity leave,

Many countries do have "paternity leave," and quite a few feminists (myself including myself) would absolutely stand by the right of men to have maternity leave—when they're pregnant. 

From my limited understanding of this situation what's in bold is what this guy said and the regular font is her response.
So men don't need to spend time with their children, unlike women?
So--
you basically just admitted men and women aren't equal so why are we pretending they are?
I mean I think everyone (you, this dude, me, society) admits mothers should probably be at home tending their kids because the next generation is important--
what's wrong with saying maybe that's their job?
I mean if you don't want to do that that's fine just don't expect special treatment when you change your mind.
You can't have it both ways is what I'm trying to say. Either have children and raise them or don't and have a career.
I mean fuck we've accepted the education of the next generation is so important there's an entire class of people whose job it is to train them--
why can't we admit raising them is as important?
I remember I had this teacher in high school who stopped being a teacher when she had a kid and people gave her shit for it.
I never understood it.
No she's in a fortunate enough position that she doesn't have to work and she's done the responsible thing and decided to tend to her spawn.
I think we all could stand to learn from this example but nope, better accuse her of being anti-feminist.

child support,

Which women pay when the man has the child or when there is shared custody and the woman makes more money. Again, the deciding factor here is not the gender of the people involved, but who has possession of the child(ren). 

Which happens I'm guessing less than 1% of the time so we might as well not even bring it up.
I mean I could do this same thing to wave away any racism or sexism or whatever I wanted.
Just because it can happen doesn't mean it does.

and I'll give you the lady's tee, female PT standards, women's professional sports,

Because life is only "fair" if women are forced to live up to standards that were designed to give men an advantage. 

If we're talking about PT I assume we're talking about the military in which case these standards aren't designed to give men an advantage-- they're designed to keep you alive in war.
You know that bullet doesn't care if you're a man or a woman.
All the weight those meaaan sexist standards have you carrying?
Pretty much the maximum amount of equipment you'd have to lug around, so--

your own bathroom,

Somebody doesn't talk to many trans* women. Also, I don't think I've ever seen a women's restroom without a men's restroom somewhere near it, and I know a considerably higher portion of feminists who favor gender-neutral bathroom than members of the general population. 

Err--
Yeah they do get their own bathroom, what?
I mean by that logic you have your own bathroom, too, dude.

As of March 2011, 41 states in the union have bans on legally recognizing the consumption of pork written into their constitutions, and only five states and the District of Columbia guarantee one's right to eat pork officially. The federal government is also protected from formally recognizing pork as a valid food-choice under the Defense of Food Act of 1996. This means that, while families are free to consume pork in the privacy of their own home (the consumption of pork was universally decriminalized in the United States in 2003), families and individuals may not take advantage of government programs, such as Food Stamps, to purchase pork. However, as many as 52% of all United States citizens support the rights of others to eat pork, though high-end estimates place pork-eating adults at only 10% of the United States' adult population, and the 2000 U.S. Census Bureau found that less than 1% of American house-holds are pork-eating house-holds. 

Wow.
You're really boring, did you know that?
I don't eat pork myself and there's really little in the way of nutrition in pork but otherwise I don't see the harm.

There are many arguments against legalizing the consumption of pork. Among them are: 

There maybe arguments but there are no good arguments. Case closed.

RELIGION: There are explicit bans against eating pork in the Torah, the Bible, and the Koran, and both Buddhist and Hindu philosophy discourage eating meat at all.

These religions were also universally devised in the bronze age by people who didn't know not to shit where they drew their water so I'm going to take any of their dietary recommendations with some critical thought.
Holy shit this goes on and on about pork and I think it might be a satire but I can't tell because this woman is so deeply humorless I can't tell.
Here's a picture from Facebook where her own mother tells her to shut up and stop being so humorless.
That's pretty dire when even your mom is calling you a cunt.

Actually, yes, women can write slash. Good slash, even!

Actually, yes, men can write femslash. Good femslash, even!

Actually, yes, virgins can write sex scenes! Good sex scenes, even!

And for fucks sake, the pairings I write does not change my identity. I am not secretly a bisexual because I read/write Lucius/Severus or Nicolae/Leon or whatever the fuck else I want to write. 

Or you could not write fanfic.

 This might shock you, but sometimes people write pairings because they actually enjoy that couple romantically. Even writing graphic sex scenes between men does not give you license to redefine people's identities. 

I like to imagine my EVE Online characters kissing even though I guess they're sisters or something.
I JUST ENJOY THAT COUPLE ROMANTICALLY OKAY IT'S NOT CREEPY.

Sometimes, people write erotica because they want to write erotica. It is not a requirement in fiction that you treat your love-interest to five dinners and at least one movie before shagging hir, 

>hir
Ha, ha that really hit me just now.
Man, sometimes it was worth going to pussy sensitivity just for shit like that.

If I want to pick up a story right at the sex scene without giving you any indication that they've ever had romantic interest in each other before, I'm allowed to.

TRIGGER WARNING SEX IS SCARY I NEED A TRIGGER WARNING PLZ HELP

If I want to write two characters meeting in a club and having a quicky in the bathroom half-an-hour after shaking hands, I'm allowed to. That's in-character for some characters. Hell, that's in-character for some real people.

You are not the fandom (or original fiction) police. No one needs your self-righteous "Write What You Know And Only What You Know!" bullshit. 

If it's about Warhammer there is a 100% chance I know more about it than you do, though, so there's a fair chance I'll call you an idiot if you fuck it up.
Luckily, though, I don't think you're a big Warhammer fan.

1. All boys are violent and gross. Clean, polite, boys who consider the feelings of others do not exist.

2. Feminists are just uptight people who are looking for a reason to be offended. Really, there's no point in trying. They'll be mad no matter what you say. 

Uhh--
She was posting this about The Simpsons--
a comedy cartoon--
and I have to agree with both points, actually.
Good point, Simpsons. You really got humanity there.

Is there anything like the Bechdel Test for queers?

The Bechdel Test is a test that makes sure your characters are properly empowered.
I have yet to find a good book that passes it, incidentally.
Does Neuromancer, come to think of it?
I don't think it does--
Count Zero might.
Sorry, William Gibson. I know you've basically done for scifi what Asimov before you and H.G. Wells before him did but you can't be a good author now.

I think I would put just four requirements on it:

1. Two or more reoccurring queer characters. (And they must be out as queer in the source material, not by Word of God and not by implication.)
2. Who have a role beyond being the boyfriend/girlfriend of a more important character.
3. Who don't date each other.
4. In a {insert media of choice here} not about sexuality. 

 There has never been a good book ever written, then.
Not so: Ovid's Metamorphoses.

Dear mother,

I love you, but sometimes it really scares the shit out me to realize that you raised me.

You didn't listen to me when I tried to explain this to you, but I need to vent right now, so let me try it this way: Let's go through, point by point, with what is wrong with your arguments. Maybe in writing they'll be better composed.

Oh, so I'm a racist!

You were doing racist things. In that sense, I suppose you are a racist.

Yes, even you are capable of racism. Even I am capable of racism. 

My pussy sensitivity class taught me that all white people are racist.
Yes even you, Princess Snowflake.

Stop pushing your opinions on me!

No.

"Racism and bigotry are bad," is an opinion that needs to be pushed on people. I intend to spend most of my adult life pushing it on people. I would advise you get over it. 

Seems like you feel that way about all of your opinions, though.

If you think that's racist, you'd better forget your plans to spend time with my family this summer! We have what's called 'a sense of humor' so we say things like that all the time.

Alright. Would you like to tell them my plans are canceled or should I?

You really did raise a humorless child. I think it'd be wise to avoid this argument in the future and just assume she didn't sprout a sense of humor.

Recent events have been forcing me to really contemplate my religious identity. Not in a "I think I'm going to convert (again)!" way, but in a "Shit. A label that I've been using for five years no longer fits. Now what do I do?" way. This doesn't really suck, I suppose. I've certainly felt worse. I just feel... disillusioned. 

LAAAAAAAAAAABEL ANXIEEEEETY

Am I really the only one who actually would like to be told if something I wrote was so offensive that it made someone cry?

Seriously? This would make other writers furious? 

Awesome.
I kick ass.
That's what I would think.
I did that bullshit without even trying.
Imagine if I did try.
Anyway this blog is fucking boring and I'm about to pass out here so I'm going to get going.