MY BODY

IS READY
I found this on ONTD_Feminism.
The latest butthurt is about some video game thing where some bitch collected 100,000 dollars.
Not to make a game, no, but to "raise awareness of feminist issues".
So I'll be starting my kickstarter project tomorrow. Help me and AIDS defeat this bullshit.

I'm in university and my animal ethics course is about to start in 20 minutes. I'm sitting in front of the door. I meant to write something but...
argh. 

ANIMAL ETHICS.

I thought of not writing this down here but just scribble in my own notebooks because I know it's difficult for other people to understand, but on the other hand, trying to explain it in such a way that other people might get close to understanding it might make it easier for me to see the broader picture. If not, maybe it at least helps me organizing my thoughts. 

I thought I'd spare you my bullshit but nope, you get to eat shit.
As I have written about before: I hate alcohol. I dislike it on a very rational level but I also irrationally hatehatehate it. 

"I dislike it on a rational level but I also hate it irrationally" so--
what?

When I got together with my boyfriend, a year ago, I pretty much freaked out about him drinking alcohol, which, if you just read what I wrote, is no surprise. It's not his fault I am like this, of course. But I am. And I annoyed him with it and annoyed him with it, even though I didn't want to. But when I feel like crap and start crying again and again and he asks why, it seemed like the most reasonable thing to do, to talk about how much it bothered me, how much it scared me, how much it disgusted me.

What's this guy doing, anyway?
Also this whole post is about how alcohol is bullshit.
And meat.
And how anyone who does either is a bad person but not a bad person because it's not their fault society has corrupted them.
Basically tons of nonsense--
the nicest people I encounter at my grocery store are people buying only meat and booze. The biggest cunts are ORGANICS ONLY HURRRR--
I guess they figure they'll be dead next week so might as well make it a pleasant week.

And he did stop drinking. And I can't explain how much pressure that took off me. Whenever he said he missed drinking with his friends or family it scared me so much, made me feel helpless and insecure. 

Oh good. You let her nag you into losing out on social situations.
A good test would be to try to hang out without drinking and see if she's as irrational.
I could understand if this guy were a raging alcoholic and she staged an intervention but every single word has suggested the guy is a light social drinker. Tell her to chill the fuck out.
Also they're both German. You picked an unfortunate culture to be against meat and drinking in.

A few days ago he said he wanted to start drinking again, now and then, with his friends or family. That he needed this freedom, and that it wasn't about getting drunk but about drinking with them.

I've been trying to rationalize 24/7 since then. I'm in a much much better place than a year ago. My depression is rather stable. I don't have panic attacks anymore, my eating is more or less stable, I don't starve/binge/purge. 

Gooood.
You picked a stable one, friend.
Also does this count as an anorexic blog?

Obviously I'm still hypersensitive, 

NOOOO.
Don't be so hard on yourself, girlfriend!
I really really love this person so much and ideally I'd want to spend my life with him but I just don't know if I can.

Of course, I hear everyone who's not as fucked up as me say "You'd not want to split up with someone because they drink alcohol??" and not just anyone, but the person I dearly love.
It's not my crazy perfectionism. It's not my "we don't fit perfectly" sense. I object to him eating meating. But I wouldn't want him not to eat it because he's forced by me, I want him to do it because it's the right thing to do and because he should do the things he believes to be morally right. 

Bro, get out while you still can.

I know a relationship is about both about compromising. Life just is not as free as when you're single without anyone in your life. That's a fact. And if it were the same, what's the point of a relationship?
I don't kiss other male friends when I feel the urge because I wouldn't want to damage what we have. I've been thinking about how I'd feel if there was anything in my life he'd feel this bad about, in another way than my "I'd like to be with other people, too", which, I guess, doesn't count because it's "socially not acceptable" anyway. But it is, not just factually, less of freedom for me. Because I'd like to. 

Bro, she's nagging you to death while trying to force down her own urges to be a complete slut.
What the fuck are you doing?
I don't know what goes on in Germany but I'm sure there's a brown girl somewhere.
Or if there isn't fuck that country and get out while you still can. Grab a yellow girl on your way to America or some shit.

People who buy leather products but are appalled by fur should really think through their ethics. 

Fur is pretty gross though. It smells bad.

What's your view on sadism and masochism?

My opinion is I have no opinion.
Wow she never shuts up.
Ok next post then--

Back to the hair body issue which has been on my mind pretty much constantly for the past days.

Asking myself whether I want to get rid of body hair or not, asking myself why I want to/why not and whether these reasons are valid in any way.

Get rid of it.
What's wrong with you?
I mean, are you joking? Someone who thinks this much of herself doesn't wax everywhere?
This is really hard to believe.

Not thinking about it, as it's really a petty issue and not that big of a deal, is not an option because it's on my mind anyway, and as long as I don't come to a solution and settle with and have my mind calm down and stop bothering me with it, it WILL be a much bigger thing than it really should be. So I think by thinking about it thoroughly now I can get it out of my mind and go on thinking about other things that mean a hell lot more to me. Of course, I'll go back now and then and look upon my view and my actions critically but if I've thought about it thoroughly once that means it's mostly just short "check-ups" to see if I still agree with my opinion that I went with.

Oh so that's how thoughts work.
Thank you for explaining it to me.

It didn't take much time thinking about arm pits. While I do find it aesthetically more pleasing on any person not to see any hair I question this view heavily and I'm certain it's nothing to do with personal taste (in so far as "I'd prefer people with no finger nails" would/n't be personal taste) but with trained view. I remember being 7 or 8 years old and seeing a woman's hairy arm pit and being completely disgusted by it. 

Am I really reading this at 1 AM on a Thursday morning?
When it comes to shaving legs it's different for me, though.

Yes, I prefer the look of hairless legs (again, that's pretty questionable as no one before 1950 even thought about that) but to be honest you have to get up pretty close to my legs to see whether they're shaven or not.

Pretty sure I read about Roman women doing that.
I mean you can disagree with the Flavian women on fashion but they basically invented the notion of fashion so I think you're going to lose this debate.
Literally everything you think is "oh so cute and in this year" some Flavian woman thought up 2000 years ago.
Also they did it because the method of bathing back then was pretty fucking barbaric and involved scraping scented oils off the body.

My hair is soft (unless it was shaven before, of course) and light blonde. So the aesthetic side would lead to me being paranoid about someone seeing that it's not shaven and judge me by that. Now of course this only goes for a few weeks in summer, the only time when other people get close to seeing my legs anyway because it's way too warm to wear tights.
My hair is soft (unless it was shaven before, of course) and light blonde. So the aesthetic side would lead to me being paranoid about someone seeing that it's not shaven and judge me by that. Now of course this only goes for a few weeks in summer, the only time when other people get close to seeing my legs anyway because it's way too warm to wear tights.
Now, why did I shave my legs, even if just occasionally, before I met my boyfriend anyway? Because it feels nice to have really smooth skin. I'm obsessed with smooth skin - hello again, beauty standarts... BUT I don't think there ever was a time in history when people preferred unclean, stingy & raspy skin, as good skin is a clear sign for good health.
I'm hardly the first woman to realize that shaving your legs every day to have smooth skin is hardly the most fun thing to do. And often my skin even starts to protest and gets dry from it - pretty much the opposite of smooth. 

IF THE WIFE
OF EMPEROR TITUS
THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FUCKING LISTEN

So in the end: I like smooth skin. My skin is more smooth if there is no hair, but it's less smooth thanks to shaving. It's an annoying habit.
If I do feel it's nicer, why don't I use the same logic for the rest of my body? In fact my arms feel a lot nicer and more smooth without hair.

Why are we thinking so much about this crap?
Just shave it off so you look attractive.
Yes it's sexist and no I don't give a shit.
Or it isn't sexist. I'm pretty sure Roman women concluded on their own this was a good thing to do because Roman men were too busy building the greatest empire of all time.

(blonde! not talking for black-haired women here) hair on your arms. In fact I often think "but it's natural to have hair on your arms, chill out, how often are you actually going to touch your arms and think about how smooth they are?". True, but why does that not go for my legs? I think I touch my arms more often than I touch my legs...

If you have dark hair your arm hair is filthy and unnatural and you're going straight to hell.
Incidentally Asian women shave their arms if they have arm hair.
And they shave their legs.
Without complaint or incident.

 This all wasn't as much of an issue for me until recently.
My boyfriend says that he finds shaven legs and pits more attractive but that really it's my choice. It's the most sensible thing to do yet it makes me feel uncomfortable. Let me imagine the two other possible main scenarios. 

Let's not.

The first one would be that he'd leave the "it's your choice" away. Of course that would be pretty shitty and horrible for me. I don't even consider that a real option because forcing me to do anything I don't want to do doesn't really seem like the thing for him to do.

General statement of "I find shaved legs more attractive" isn't really a call for you to do something, really.

It's pretty pointless to say "but your perception of beauty is clearly influenced by a misogynist money-grabbing industry!" because while, yes, that might be true, how does it help in the end? Pointing it out is fine, but how on earth can that be used?
I can, for example, explain all I want why I find men who look "fucked up" and "ill" attractive, it's interesting to think about and analyze, but at the end of the day, I still find them attractive.
If I do get rid of body hair to be more attractive for him, is that really anti-feminist? Isn't it also adjusting yourself to the people you love in a way just something personal to some degree?

Who
fucking
cares
I think I skipped a few sentences but it's not like anyone is reading her bullshit this far anyway.
I've probably somehow lost readers over her bullshit and I haven't even posted this yet.
I mean if we're talking about how shitty misogyny is--
Feminism made you write all this bullshit. Misogyny would have had you shave your legs and be done with the fucking mess.
Or I should say that but I'm pretty sure the whole thing is independent of gender expectations because as I said before I'm pretty sure women have been doing this for a while for no other reason than to be trendy.
They also wore their hair up and in crazy curls because why the fuck not?
I dunno.
I'm going to bed.
Goodbye.