So if you remember quite a while ago you could just browse Livejournal by category and finding blogs was as easy as clicking on the (cultureless) culture section. Ah, those halcyon days.
Not so anymore, though: now I have to rely on writer's block to see myself to a good blog.
Relying on the writer's block implies you need a decent question to get the cunts responding.
Don’t cheat. Do you know how many countries there are in the world?
Okay first there are 194 countries in the world and second what the fuck is this shit?
I need you to help me out here, Livejournal. We're not getting through this unless you give me targets.
Luckily, and in no part at all to Livejournal, I found one.
Hundred and eighty-two, maybe? Somewhere in that neighborhood.
Her response.
I'm posting this like anyone gives a shit.
There are 194 countries, incidentally. I just checked.
It has indeed happened: my baby is in double digits. She got a somewhat protracted birthday celebration, with Ikea (for stuffed sharks and dragons, natch) on Tuesday, with bonus free chicken thumbs because it was post-mouthreaming for me and mashed potaybees sounded like a delicious and not in need of chewing dinner and also kids eat free on Tuesdays.
I care even less about this than I normally do.
Is it possible to give a negative number of fucks?
Because I think I just proved it's possible.
I actually have to give less fucks about something I give fucks about in the future thanks to this blog.
Increasingly frustrated and pessimistic with the state of national affairs.
I posted the Elizabeth Warren quote that's going around to my facebook and got a somewhat predictable nibble from my too-smart-to-be-that-libertarian cousin in New Mexico, followed by a smackdown that I didn't even have to participate in (thanks, awesome friendslist!) but I'm still fussing over it because it's just not a medium for anything like a protracted discussion, and I have all sorts of more in depth thoughts to articulate, except argh, character limit and the boat has sailed already and also argh, thumbs on a tiny keyboard.
Goddamn you type some long sentences.
I never like to stop mid-sentence because it looks like I'm censoring so I find myself just quoting and quoting and quoting. Can you please get to the point? Also she included the Elizabeth Warren (I don't even know who that is) quote in a link I did delete because the article it linked to was too fucking stupid to bear plugging but suffice it to say the quote is about how taxing the wealthy is a good idea because those taxes pay for roads and to keep barbarian hordes (actual part of the quote) at bay.
And you thought your tax money was going to graft and corruption!
No, it was fighting barbarians, duh.
... I don't see any Goths or Vandals or Gauls, do you?
I think the tax money has done its job, then, all right.
Why yes, I do have a mohawk again. Was sorely tempted (and actually tempted, by partner-who-hates-mohawks daring me) to just go ahead and shave it all off, but I'm ever so fond of the hot pink. (Pic posted in the gallery, too lazy to thumbnail it here. Picture every other shot of me, only superimpose a hot pink mohawk over whatever hair comes to mind.)
She's 35, I'd like to point out.
35, with children. Pink mowhawk-- has three posts about how she's not intent on embarrassing her children because they're now at the age where they can be embarrassed by their parents (woe is her).
...
Strange disconnect, there.
Aiee. Having a bit of a peak in the ceaseless tides of my restlessness. Partly due to a determination not to let myself stop living after watching my parents and their sibs start to decide that they are old and decrepit, partly the usual instigator of "but what do I want to BE when I grow up?"
Am I looking at a coherent thought?
Nope, looks like pig noises to me.
Not that I'm ungrateful that I've managed to dodge the question thus far, but still wrestling with accepting that I will neither have a job that fulfills me, nor make enough money to support myself any time soon doing the things that I love.
Oh let me dredge up sympathy for my special princess.
MY JOB DOESN'T FULFILL ME ;_;
Weren't you just posting about how middle class people are resorting to food banks?
Hey, at least that isn't you.
So. As some of you are already aware, my kids go to the "environmental science" magnet school. (Well, actually, the older one now goes to the gifted, talented & performing arts middle school. Ay, the aging, it hurts.)
The what?
Actually there's one of those near where I live.
They were looking for a science teacher at a job fair I went to. I debated leaving my resume with them but somehow I doubt an English teacher is qualified to teach environmental science.
HIPPIE BULLSHIT was the one environmental science class I've had so I figure I'm as qualified as anyone, but I decided against it out of fear it would leave a bad impression.
Anyway, other than all THAT, it's totally green!*
That was a big selling point at the job fair, too.
THESE SCHOOLS ARE GREEN! The assistant to the assistant school board director stated proudly.
I had a moment where my eyes glazed over. Green in what?
Oh, green as environmentally friendly WHO GIVES A FUCK?
I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE IN A DARWINIAN SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST CONTEST IN PUSSY SENSITIVITY. WHETHER THE LIGHT BULBS ARE RECYCLED IS PRETTY FAR DOWN ON MY LIST OF CONCERNS.
And like a true pussy (not sensitive, just a pussy) someone asked me what I thought about all the green schools. I should have spoken my fucking mind but you know what I said instead?
"I think it's a great thing."
This was briefly after I was asked if I wanted to leave my resume for the local prison that's hiring exactly one teacher.
I think no and thank you.
So last Friday was the ecofair slash school picnic, which was a complete clusterfracas. I was supremely irritated to be dealing with a crying child, because the email specifically said there would be a free BBQ and desserts sold by the PTA, yet when we got there an hour after it started there was no food other than the PTA table (selling rice krispie treats for a buck apiece), and at 6:30 a catering truck finally showed up with shitty mac n cheese, fried chicken, anemic salad, and a bunch of mayo-based food poisoning in a bowl type stuff. (Fried chicken and catering trucks: not a BBQ, last I checked.)
Oh right, I'm off topic.
Back to the non-point.
I cannot imagine going to something called an ecofair or siring a child interested in something called an ecofair.
No vegetarian option, unless you count the totally anemic garden salad, but whatevs. I didn't complain about that, because the PTA policy appears to be along the lines of "Open Thy Mouth And It Shall Become Thy Problem."
The only reason it should become a problem is if you're making it a problem. You were clearly interested in BBQ before so are you vegetarian?
No?
THEN WHY ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT IT?
I lost patience, however, when I was standing on line (for half an hour) and saw how much plastic trash was on the ground. Cups, forks, little plastic toys that were party favors, and a handy plastic bag! to gather it all.
You should have seen the prodigious amounts of waste at the school where I interned. It was especially great during the great remodeling project when I got to scavenge through dumpsters for ink cartridges like it's a post-apocalyptic nightmare where I'm scavenging for useful parts to repair prewar equipment.
Eventually I found an ink cartridge in someone's printer.
Funny, you'd have thought I would have looked for one there first.
There IS such a thing as the truth, and there *is* a right thing to do, and anybody who tries to tell you otherwise is lying for political gain. This business about "Oh, well, everybody has a different opinion on whether that's a good thing?" BULL. SHIT.
Except they do.
This isn't really a thing you can argue. If there were an objective "right action" to take there wouldn't be the debates about what to do.
You can have an opinion in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, sure, but in the end THERE IS A RIGHT ANSWER.
If there's "evidence to the contrary" it stops being an opinion and becomes a fact.
I know I've said it before but opinions, that is, subjective ideas, can't really be right or wrong because they're exactly that: subjective.
The second you start talking about validity and proof and theory it stops being an opinion and becomes science or mathematics.
There is no room for opinions in these fields.
It usually does not involve fucking over the poor, minorities, women, or anybody else.
Except it usually does. Getting your way typically involves fucking someone else over.
I post employment ads daily. This morning, I was reamed out for the use of the phrase "licensed aides" in a headline for an ad which stated a NJ CHHA license as a requirement, because we might get responses from CNAs. (Whom we hire and use anyway, shh.)
Oh no not NJ CNAs instead of CHHAs!
This is shit I read constantly while looking for a job. I just ignore it and apply anyway, assuming whatever it is isn't a real thing (happens regularly) or it's not really that important.
Ignoring this alphabet soup bullshit has gotten me this far in life-- it will see me to the end.
Seriously, what is a CNA?
...
I don't know, actually.
Acronym finder proposes it's a Certified Nursing Assistant, which seems likely, but what's a CHHA?
Ah right, yeah. Certified Home Health Aid.
Have you people ever stopped to consider for a moment that perhaps we're too specialized?
What, pray tell, is the critical (I mean critical, like critical enough to explain to me) difference between a Certified Nursing Assistant and a Certified Home Health Aid?
Logically a CNA works in a hospital while a CHHA works at a home, but can't a nurse work at home, too?
Why is a nurse precluded from working with a patient at home?
Are these equally qualified positions?
Why does a nurse need an aid? Isn't she already an aid to a doctor?
Why is healthcare a chain of command now?
Why is it when I go to a doctor I see fifteen secretaries and three interns to get a ball of earwax removed from my ear and it's called surgery on my bill?
What is surgery, then? Apparently talking to a doctor qualifies as surgery now.
Edit: I should mention that I've been responsible for the ads for a year now, and until today it has been a-ok to use the phrase, as long as it's clear that we are officially only hiring CHHAs.
If you don't produce something you are a leech on society.
We can debate a bit about what constitutes production but if your job is hiring CNAs and CHHAs you are part of the problem.
Whoever coins these phrases is part of the fucking problem, too. CNA and CHHA-- nurse, got it.
Easy and to the point.
Would you rather be super-rich or super-smart if you would only be average in the other category?
So my choice is happy and rich or poor and miserable?
Is this seriously a choice I have to make?
"You can have sex with Natalie Portman or we can let a rabid wolf maul your crotch."
WELL LET ME THINK.
Name one smart person who is truly happy with things in life.
Gosh, let's see. Brilliant and comfortable financially, or super-rich and a C student? Well, as much as only one would ever let me be president, I think it's a no-brainer. Hell, I'd take poor and smart over rich and dumb enough to fall for teabagger propaganda. ;)
Funnily enough not taking rich and average proves you're pretty stupid so I guess you don't have either thing going for you.
Of course, this is someone who goes on (frequent) rants about politics on her Livejournal so her intelligence was questionable anyway.
You know what I hate about the Teabaggers?
This is coming off the post where she posts about how Republicans can only resort to name calling because they can't come up with a solid argument against Democrat logic.
Calling Tea Party members Teabaggers-- sort of like a name calling thing, huh?
No, not their "I done brung mahself up by mah bootstraps" posturing while they drive on public roads, go to public school, and enjoy substantial government subsidies to their daily life without which I can absolutely assure you they would NOT be anywhere near the top of the food chain.
No, not the "I got a (microscopically tiny) piece of the pie and Imma hang onto it and screw everybody else!" shortsightedness, egotism, and overall fuckwittery.
This is what we in the litfag world call a "strawman" attack where you're basically just putting words in their mouth and then refuting points they didn't specifically make but whatever, proceed.
Maybe a little bit that god damn it, there are FACTS involved in the shit they're talking about, and they are not only wrong about what they are, but completely wrong about what's a matter of verifiable, documentable goddamn FACTS and what's an opinion. Just because it doesn't support your world view doesn't mean it's an opinion, asshole. Did I mention that there are things which are true and how completely wrong about some of them you are?
Do you want to give me an example or can I just call you an idiot and move on?
I've tried various bathing suit shapes over the years. Piping to give me a "bust" and "hips" in my cross-country, 34AA-26-34 days.
I can't take this shit anymore. I officially know too much about you.
I'm sure I've said before that anymore than a handful is a waste but 34AA doesn't even qualify as a handful.
And I'm sure you're not a brown girl.
And even if you are I think you're trouble and I don't like you.
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