No, you're not ready. Who could be prepared for this lesson in boredom?
What is your answering machine away message? If you don't have one, you can make it up!
Even the writer's block is uninspired today. Is everyone fucking downed out today or something?
What have I told you, Livejournal? This is a team effort ever since you got rid of the sections. I need you to ask leading questions so I can find the goods easier.
"Hi, you've reached [me] and [my boyfriend]. Please leave a message." I really wish it didn't launch into the Verizon automated voice saying a long additional message, because otherwise I would *totally* end it with, "Please leave a message after the beep," followed by a pause lasting a few seconds and then me cheerfully yelling, "beeeep!" :-D
If I heard an answering machine message like that I would do the following things in the following order:
1. Hang up
2. Cancel my phone
3. Call the police
4. Move to China
5. Learn Kung Fu
Why do you have to bore through my head with your obnoxiousness just because I had the audacity to call you? I'll admit if I'm calling you I've clearly made a hideous, irreparable mistake in my life but cut me some fucking slack. Clearly life has punished me enough.
Drastic changes are happening in my life. For the most part, they are wonderful positive changes.
Totally failed trying to get in shape in July, so I guess I should try again this month. Bellydancing was enjoyable, but b/c I didn't practice at home, nothing was really accomplished.
Belly dancing was a thing invented so brown girls could look even hotter but has been kind of absorbed (literally, in the fat rolls) of fat pigs everywhere.
Several concerts are on the horizon and I need to buy tickets for them.
I think today, after I make a phone call, I will clean my house the best I can. Ooh, I might even go out and get some more cleaning supplies.
I gotta plan shit out and work with it.
Praise be to Freyja and all her magnificent glory.
>Praying to Freya
>claimer of those slain in battle
I cannot think of a less likely thing you could be praying to.
It's like praying to Nyx or Chaos from Greek mythology. It's just not something an informed person in these mythological cycles would do.
Which leads me to believe you're saying it for the edgy, hipster factor. You're sooo cooooool.
If you could have a power that helps you with day-to-day living, like the ability to always get a seat on the bus, what would choose, and why?
The power to always get my way.
One that comes to mind is the power to get people to move the fuck out of the way when I need to get by.
Covered in my power.
My power, in fact, would make you all powerful.
On spaceflights, astronauts are awakened by songs of their choosing. What song would you pick?
They do?
Wait a minute, so does everyone. That's an option on your iPod.
My problem with the iPod alarm is it's so quiet. It wants to get you up but doesn't want to be rude about it.
JESUS CHRIST, iPOD. I'M BASICALLY DEAD WHEN I SLEEP I NEED YOU TO HELP ME OUT.
Oh, also, to answer the question: Hells Bells.
"In The Shadow of Our Pale Companion" by Agalloch. The song is gorgeous and awesome and holy crap if I keep going on about it I'll have to use a thesaurus, but also it's almost 15 minutes long, and sometimes I need that much time to wake up.
Sounds fucking terrible.
If the word "gorgeous" is used to describe a song it's shit.
By the way, I saw them a month ago and they were absolutely breathtaking.
Not as legit as Hells Bells, though.
I get headaches easily so I can't listen to music too loud and Hells Bells is about the only song where it's worth the risk.
Here's a linguistic quiz I can give myself for no gain. Let me give you the right answers.
- What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
Being a fucking douchebag begging for the release of death.
-What is the bug that when you touch it, curls into a ball?
Armor bug or a rolly polly.
- What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
Soda.
-What do you call gym shoes?
Cunt shoes.
Hey assholes.
- What do you say to address a group of people?
-What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
Daddy FUCKIN' Long Legs.
-What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
The best answer is the British answer in this case: pissing down rain.
There you go. I've enhanced your language skills.
You're welcome.
today I...
ate breakfast (an english muffin and orange juice)
took my pills
watched a Simpsons episode i haven't seen in a while
got provisionally accepted into the linguistics program (which means a mailbox will be in order and i'm getting closer to graduation)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.
Am I really reading about the breakfast you had?
Seriously?
The World Series begins today, meaning balls will be hit, bases run, and homeruns scored. Remember the first time you got to first base? What was it like?
Get it it's like a sexual thing.
I guess.
Whoever decided getting rid of the Livejournal sections was a good idea should be beaten.
i was never a good runner, and certainly not a good sprinter. the first time i played softball outdoors was in 1995, in 5th grade. i don't remember it or care about it. 9 times out of 10 i got within 5 feet of the base when the first baseman got me out.
Pretty sure it wasn't literal.
Whatever.
Anyway I'm going now. I have heretics/monsters/traitors/cultists/recidivists/something to kill in some video game somewhere I'm sure.
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