How hard is it to pretend to be normal and just grind shit out the way we used to back in the day? You don't need a marauder to get experience. I mean it'll be shitty experience but at least some experience is better than no experience--
I don't want to talk about it.
What I do want to talk about, however, is bitches with health problems.
What is your must-see holiday movie?
One random answer will win a $50 Amazon gift card.
Today's writer's block.
The answer is Die Hard.
Love Actually <3
Die Hard.
I got glutened again. That's where I've been. It's a 6.5 day cycle to get better afterward. Blame Chipotle and their deceptively inviting website that claims it is possible to eat there if you have gluten issues. Uh, no.
"I have a very sensitive system that requires a specific diet"
"let me eat Mexican"
There's this skill called logical induction and you didn't use it here.
You know, logical induction? That part of your brain that lets you analyze patterns to determine rules?
As a rule Mexican food is going to be a starch/meat/cheese disaster so if you have special eating habits it's generally not advisable to eat Mexican.
Cross contamination nightmare. It got me and it got me good. Fortunately I didn't like what I ordered and hardly ate any of it or it might have been worse. I just now have my correct temperament coming back.
Oh, your temperament issues. That's why you're a cunt.
DAMN YOU, GLUTEN!
Good news! When I am not under the effects of gluten brain I feel like writing again. And it is good stuff. I've been struggling for years to get back to the ease I had during college. I've got my mojo back! So what do I start writing immediately...
Let's see, you're out of practice so a good writer would probably immediately write a short story or something that has a certain economy with words so you can focus on the other important skills of writing.
Of course, Livejournal being Livejournal the answer is fanfiction.
Smutty fanfiction, no doubt.
the lowest of the low of the fan fiction genre. I have no shame. It must be written! What I am writing is basically soppy shoujo.
Or "pseudo-lesbian encounters" as we say in English. I'm going to give myself full points for that one, though.
I've been absent lately. There has been a zillion reasons for this. The most recent being that I glutened myself on Sunday after making it through all the holiday eating unscathed, and am pretty much useless right now.
As opposed to other times when you're positively productive.
There is a big mood swing that hits when you are glutened and I noticed it this time. Like I was observing myself from afar and tisk-tisking myself in disapproval. I can see that my reactions are different but besides limiting the situations and opportunities of bitchiness I am exposed to I can't really seem to change my reactions. Raging bitch mode, activated.
Couldn't that be a personality flaw and not the protein found in wheat?
At least I know what's going there. Month's prior to figuring out my diagnosis I just thought I had lost my ability to deal with stuff. I'd think, "I've been through way worse than this? Why am I not able to shrug this off?" Damn gluten.
Have you ever seen a shitty 80s action movie where a guy suddenly gains super powers because he's on PCP?
I'm suddenly reminded of that situation, only with gluten.
And instead of super powers it's whining.
So it's nothing like that. Ignore me.
The Christmas party for work is going to be at the country club instead of my boss's house. And catered. So I won't be able to eat anything short of dry carrot sticks. I had planned on bringing stuff to her house, but I can't bring stuff to the country club. I'm thinking about not going at all. I do not want to be glutened right before Christmas.
Or you can go and not eat.
Except it'd be really boring but if that's what you're expected to do--
I dunno.
I'd say fuck it and play the juego myself.
I locked myself out of my apartment today. It was one of those, "This purse doesn't go with this outfit. I can just stick my phone in my waistband and hold my usb and wallet...now out the door..." (click) "Oh no! My keys! In my purse! Noooo...." (second later) "Interesting."
Time to kick in the front door I suppose.
Also what's interesting about locking yourself out of your apartment like a dumbfuck?
This work week was something else. Working late every night again. Boss off today and Monday. Copywriter off yesterday and today. I don't know what the hell is going on only that I have two computers and five monitors that I am working on and a zillion windows open. As I shut down tonight it was like excavating down to the desktop background level and restoring things back to 8AM conditions.
Do you really need to tell the world this?
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY COPY EDITING JOB, LIVEJOURNAL.
My normally rock solid and collected podmate went a little nuts today, understandably, but as the calm center of the pod him going crazy threw the rest of us off. J_ started laughing and throwing zingers at everything and he rarely acts like that and my sailor vocabulary while driving has turned into sailor desk jockey.
That doesn't even make sense.
Sailor desk jockey, what?
Why am I reading about this?
What is wrong with you?
Plotting. Intrigue. Just another week at an ad agency. Mad Men is coming back you say?
This plotting and intrigue sounds like a bunch of cunts whining about bullshit. Machiavelli would be sorely disappointed in this.
And on that note, I drove out to B&N over my lunch hour to pick up the ESPN Body Issue and they didn't have it. I didn't realize how awkward it would be to ask someone there if they did have it. "Which is it?" "It's the one...well...you see..." I was an art student. This shouldn't be awkward. Stop judging me!
"I want that Sorts Illustrated with tits prominently on display."
Don't be a pussy, good grief.
There was a Danish guy in the office today. So yeah, I had trouble concentrating. I love that particular accent. Could listen to it all day...and I did.
I'm having these delicious crackers with more gluten than you can fucking imagine right now.
Oh man these are good.
How can you not eat wheat?
The ability to eat wheat is practically what separates us from animals. And you live in Texas, so what I'm getting is you're not even human. Why am I reading your pig squeals, again?
An interesting fact about you: I applied to the CIA twice.
You know you're not supposed to say you applied.
SHHHHHHH.
This is why they didn't hire you.
Can't keep a secret and you want to work for an agency based entirely around keeping secrets. Good fucking job.
They probably took one look at this blog and said "no, she'll post top secret shit all over this and we'll be nuked within the hour."
Here's a post entitled "I was going to fill out that NPR's 100 most popular scifi list..."
I can't wait to hear your opinions on scifi.
...but I don't think I'll bother. That isn't the list you should be looking at to read anyway. Look at the semifinalists.
I left the link in for once because, ehh.
Except for Stephen King appearing on the list three times, Neil Gaiman three times, Margaret Atwood twice and not a single mention of Roadside Picnic it looks like a damn solid list. It even included Armor and A Scanner Darkly.
The people who didn't make it.
Except for Arkady and Boris Struatsky I don't think they've missed any important names in science fiction. I mean except for the fact they included some hacks you have all the important people like Philip K. Dick, Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, etc etc.
Jesus Christ my BFF Dan Abnett made the list, even, for The Eisenhorn Trilogy. A Warhammer book got a nod on this list.
Of course you shouldn't expect a mention of Arkady and Boris Struatsky because you're dealing with the pretentious douchebags at NPR that wouldn't know good writing if it hit them in the face.
The fact we're determining a reading list by popular vote instead of, you know, reading shit and figuring out what you personally like is a pretty good indication of the level of plebeian we're dealing with here.
That said this is arguably the best "best of" list I've ever seen.
If you've read a decent number on the top 100 stop right there and look at the ones who didn't make the final cut.
I already said Arkady and Boris Struatsky.
And while I'm talking about authors with unpronounceable Eastern European names: Andrzej Sapkowski also isn't on the list.
Find all the female authors on there and then read those. THAT will really broaden your reading experience.
No thanks.
That's a critical misstep of logic to assume diverse thoughts come from a diverse group of people (protip: a rainbow coalition can come up with the exact same tripe a group of white, heterosexual white guys can) but I don't even need to get into that when the first female author mentioned is Margaret Atwood.
The biggest female name on this list by far is Mary Shelley and while she absolutely belongs on this list I'd hardly call high school reading a great broadening of horizons.
I called them plebeian but the fact a Warhammer book and Armor made it to the list indicates they're slightly better read on the subject than you might suspect.
The lack of some of them on the top 100 seems to me to indicate y'all just haven't read them.
Why The Eisenhorn Omnibus got the nod and not the infinitely superior Legion is beyond me (I suspect sales had something to do with it) but I can't really fault them over this.
I also find it very interesting that despite not including enough female authors (as if gender is indicative of writing quality) you fail to mention a single name they forgot. I came up with three without even really looking and I just thought of another: H.P. Lovecraft.
In fact, now that I'm looking at this list it dawns on me that the founder of modern science fiction is a woman and she's not on this list. Margaret Cavendish probably should have been mentioned.
Maybe they didn't want two Margarets on the same list.
Cut the other one then, Christ.
But my point still stands. This argument from political correctness is about as much of an intellectual cop out as picking on someone's typos. I know I do that often but I'm seldom making an intellectual argument so it's not hypocritical-- I think--
I went out to the store a couple hours ago because I was out of food (seriously, this stupid app that makes me eat more is busting the bank now) and while selecting some brussels sprouts from the produce area a middle aged dude who worked there tried about four or five times to strike up a conversation with me.No I already solved women's issues. Go for the eyes. We've been over this how many times now?
His final attempt went like this:
"Are you shopping after school?"
"No, I got hungry. Eventually the food runs out and you have to go to a place like this to get more."
No shit? Is that what you do at a grocery store?
Thanks for the heads up.
"It just looked like you were shopping after school."
I hold up a sprout and look at it. Eyebrow raised. Sprouts are not for kids you know.
"I am much too old for that."
"I - I - I meant college." At this point I think he realized he was in way over his head.
"Ok. Thanks. Well, you have a nice day."
That'll show him.
Being nice to customers, what a dick!
I almost immediately call my sister on the phone and tell her the description of the dude just in case I go missing. Sadly I do this fairly often. Can't resist a girl shifting through the bin of brussels sprouts I guess.
I sure can.
>trying to strike up conversation with a girl
>you're instantly a loser and a rapist
I've said it before and I'll say it again: brown girls, people.
Your rewards for talking to your average American woman are like what's above.
People have tried to make the argument that not all American women are like that (enough are that Guess Who made a song about it) but that is a fair point so I'd like to address that briefly.
You know how two entries ago we agreed it was probably smart to assume all men are going to rape you even if a vast majority aren't just because it's safer?
Welcome. Welcome to the same logic.
I watched ThunderCats episode one at work today in the conference room. Besides there being cats in it (furries, uck) and an over abundance of silly that I left in the past, my male coworkers all liked it.
NO SHIT, A SHOW CALLED THE THUNDERCATS HAD CATS IN IT?
OH MAN!
If you tell me Dragonball Z has things called Dragonballs in it you're officially crazy.
Also I like the remake, even if Lion-o is missing his righteous 80s mullet.
I am not going to begrudge kids their fun, but I don't think it is for me.
For someone who writes fanfiction that came off awfully snobbish.
Ooooooh goodness.
Anyway this is really boring so I'm going to go do something else with my life now.
FFXIV PATCH TOMORROW AND MY ARCHER ISN'T 50 FUCK.
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