Or in school-- I always pray I'll do well on a test instead of, I don't know, studying harder or focusing or something.
It's my belief, along with all the other rational members of society, that if you have time to pray you have time to not act like a fucking pud and do something about it.
So first thing right off the bat our boy is bottomsore.
People who never did anything for anyone else are happier then I am.
Oh well boo-fucking-hoo.
My mom gives me advice. My mom wants me to pray more, just be 'nice', and to have no ambition in life- just like her.
Sounds reasonable to me, actually. Except the whole prayer thing. What is it they say about ambition? Last bastion of defeat, or something?
I've spent most of my time the past few days fixing a eleven year old laptop for resale.
He expects to resell "high", too. I think it'll work out for you, bro. Laptop packing Windows ME will certainly sell for "lots and lots".
Tonight I went to a new home group. I've been wanting to go there for a few months. I love the intensity of it. It's all speaking in tongues this, prophecy and laying on of hands that.
Sounds really "keep your dirty hands off me, slobs. Also, talk right."
I saw Ms. Moses tonight. And I got a ride home with her again. Before I left the car I hugged her again. I couldn't help but touch her poofy coat- she slapped my fingers away gently and asked me to not go all touchy feely.
Wow there's something really creepy about that.
She smiled as I left the car- my parents are inviting her out to eat this monday. I can tag along too. I like to tease her that she's my parents favorite child.
Oh ho I can so imagine the court transcript for this kidnap/rape/murder waiting to happen.
"SHE SMILED AT ME THE WHORE WAS ASKING FOR IT."
We all hanged out in the hotel room with my parents, prayed together, and shared our food with her. She's so hungry- cutting back meals- it's easy to feel compassion for someone prayerful and cute like her.
What were all those sayings that I had to learn when I was roped into sitting through an anti-rape seminar in high school, like I had already raped someone?
No means no, if you're drunk it's still rape, uhh--
It's moments like these- looking for work- striving, trying, that I feel hatred towards Hercules.
How can you hate Hercules? He strangled an invincible lion with his bare hands.
I didn't even know you could kill something invincible, and Hercules did it barefisted.
That's a badass.
He betrayed me, to his boss. Lied about me and got that slut into my job.
(he thinks Hercules is real) oh-- oh this must be a real person nicknamed (possibly seriously named?) Hercules, I guess.
Now its been a struggle for me the past few months to make rent and he's even happier then before. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Forgiveness feels like I'm grinding myself into the gravel. I gain nothing by swallowing my anger and despair and lose everything financially. He's so fucking well off it sucks so much.
Didn't that guy, what was his name? Jesus? Have something to say about forgiveness and shit?
Yeah he did, something about loving your enemies and shit?
I wish I could either find paying work and actually start having a life- a car- a girlfriend I can take out- or buy a revolver and kill that judas and all who stood with him against me before killing myself.
Let's contrast this with what the Biblical Jesus had to say:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
So sort of similar, right? Forgiving someone a lot versus murder/suicide?
I see a lot of parallels, anyway. Also interesting contrast you have there, bro: "I need to either get a girlfriend or kill myself" Christ all mighty.
Electra invited me to join her singles group.
No don't she's having an affair with her father-- oh, oh right. Goddamn you know a lot of mythological figures in real life. Here I was thinking they were fictional or personifications of abstract concepts (or at the very least dead, Electra would have to be over 2000 years old by now) and yet you know them on a personal basis.
I stayed up too late last night. I was connecting with people over at a web forum. Posting my first erotic story online in my entire life. I've made two contacts there.
What I wouldn't give to read that wreck. You know it's filled to the brim with the most fucked up, Freudian shit you can imagine, too. I think I have a great idea for another Dirty Harry movie, incidentally. Dirty Harry versus THIS GUY.
.She was cute and dressed to the nines with high heels, a one piece dress, and stockings that had numerous runs on the knees. She was trying so hard to dress up. I wondered why. When I sat down on the living room floor with the other people I noticed she made a point of closing her knees. I thought that was so cute. Later she changed into her pajamas near the end of the party- she looked so much more normal and comfortable in them. After I noticed how flat the crotch of them looked when she was sprawled face up on the couch she went out and smoked.
IT WAS CALLAHAN, THE BIG ONE! HE DID THIS TO ME!
It's very hard to talk about my prayer life iwth God since its one of my most private parts of my life.And yet 21 entries are about his prayers. That kind of makes a liar out of you, doesn't it?
My parents are still living in their car. I now have enough money for a car. I should get a permit.
These thoughts are tangentially connected, I suppose. Usually one would fill the space after "my parents are living in their car" with emotions like regret, sympathy, panic or some sort of plan to have them not living in a car, but I suppose declarative sentences are also appropriate.
She also attends the packed youth group and used to have anger issues. I envy her opportunity and youth.
Envy, greed, wrath, lust-- they should really compile these destructive behaviors into a list or something. Oh, oh that's right. They already did.
I am short on amusing anecdotes to regale friends with.
Well that would require a personality, which as I think we all know, serial killers are deficient--
Anyways, God told me the night we first started sharing a lot of time together (this was at a church meeting) that she was not mine. That she will not be mine. God doesn't use the megaphone voice on me except on the rare occasions when it deals with someone elses well eing.
(He thinks God is talking to him).
However recently if I throw one or two dollars into a collection plate for worthy missionaries I tend to end up with a lot of paying odd-job work coming to me.
This fits neither the 'if you tithe you will have all you need' theory neither the 'God will reward you financially many fold all the time' theory neither the 'God doesn't exist and tithing is irrelevent' theory.
Actually none of those are theories. Theories require physical evidence and shit to substantiate, and all of those aren't even coherent ideas or comment on things that are, by definition, beyond the scope of human understanding but you keep right on trucking, brother.
The last girlfriend I had was in 2004.
She was a technical virgin and wanted me.
I always make a :3 face when girls say that "I'm a technical virgin." "Yeah-huh?" is my response. They get really butthurt when I do that, for some reason. Must be all the dicks in their asses over the years-- OHHHHH.
She helped me to feel hetero for the first time in my 20s.
Trying to find a picture that fits the face I just made but I'm not really finding it.
Wait just found it. If you don't "feel hetero" how do you feel? Homo? Well, whatever. I guess that's all I have today-- hopefully our boy doesn't find this, hunt me down and murder me-- in retrospect, that's very unlikely since 90% of his posts are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
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