UUH

Let's do some Dear Abby because I doubt I can handle the social justice on Martin Luther King Day.
Bunch of white wahms moaning about black people.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school senior. At the beginning of the school year, I agreed to drive my best friend to school in the mornings, and for a while it was nice.Last month she started to refuse to talk while I was driving. If I tried talking to her, she wouldn't respond. 

It happens.
No rhyme or reason for it. Just write her off and move on.

DEAR DRIVEN CRAZY: Your former best friend may have stopped talking to you on the way to school because she was too busy texting her boyfriend. She is ignoring the fact that you have been doing her the favor of transporting her and is using you as a private taxi service.
If she was frightened because you braked suddenly, the person she should have said it to was you. So stop "explaining" to her and tell her that if she wants to continue getting a free ride, she had better adjust her attitude or make other arrangements for transportation.

There you go.
Move on, amigo.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "George," and I have been married for 13 years. Last night he dropped a bombshell. He told me that while he loves me, he isn't happy. He assured me he has no inclination to divorce me, but he pretty much laid the entire reason for his unhappiness at my feet.
I don't handle people well. I love George and our son, but I am most relaxed and comfortable when I'm by myself. I don't neglect them. We do lots of stuff outside the house as a family. I have no close friends, and that's how I prefer it.
George's complaint is that I keep him from having friends. I have never tried to stop him. In fact, I have encouraged him to cultivate friendships and hang out with "the guys," join groups, etc. He says he can't do that and leave me at home. I wouldn't mind his going out, but it's nerve-racking for me to go.
Abby, in 13 years I don't think I have ever looked George or my son in the eye. It's not something I'm comfortable with. My husband knew how I was when he married me. What can I do? -- OKLAHOMA LONER

Sounds like some sort of anxiety problem to me.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started a new job. One of the management individuals has taken a strong interest in me. He keeps doing favors for me that benefit me financially and I appreciate it. (I have never asked him to do this.) 

Why'd you do that?
Don't take favors when you know people will expect you to pay them back.
No sympathy here.

I have always been courteous and took his gestures as a sign of kindness.

>kindness
>people

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old gay man who works in an office with 20 women.

Mmm honey I bet that office gets catty.

In the five years I have worked here, many of my co-workers have either gotten married or had children.

Our office has a tradition of throwing showers for the lucky ladies, and I am always asked to contribute money toward food for the party or an extravagant gift.

While I'm happy to donate to a charity or help a friend in need, I wonder if a wedding or a baby shower would be given for me?

No.
Literally no.
You're a man. You don't have baby showers. Two men are getting married--
no one is going to care about that.
Sorry to say but this is one sided giving.
It shouldn't be like that but what can you do?
You know really the mistake you made was giving something now with the perhaps vague expectation that in the future you'd get it paid back.
This is why I don't do position trades in the stock market. If it's going to make money it better be soonish or it's all empty promises and fairy dust.
All you have to do is look at any ETF to see what I mean.
The sooner you treat people like stocks the sooner you'll realize what they're about.

Am I selfish for feeling hesitant to donate money or gifts when it's likely the favor will never be returned? -- MINORITY MALE IN TEXAS

Categorically no. Your emotions are understandable, even.

DEAR MINORITY: I don't think you are selfish for feeling the way you do. In fact, it's understandable. 

Thank you, Abby.
We are of one mind.

However, in the case of a wedding or baby shower, people give gifts as a way of offering congratulations and good wishes. And I would hope that, even if same-sex marriage isn't recognized by the state of Texas, your co-workers would do something to honor you if you had a spiritual ceremony, which some religious denominations offer.

Even though Abby was a little more positive she did say the magic word:
hope.
As it has been said: he who lives upon hope dies fasting.

DEAR ABBY: I am turning 60 and naturally looking a little "worn." My man friend keeps telling me I need a facelift and to lose 10 pounds, so I'm starting to save my money. Something tells me he wants a "hot chick" and thinks he'll have one once I get these procedures done. It's expensive. What do you think? -- LOOSE-FACED LOUISIANAN

Ave Caesar.
While your desire to please your mate is admirable you are also completely stupid.
60 year olds should be pleased with the way 60 year olds look. I hear this time and again from people my own age: "yeah but in 20 years she'll be ugly"
like yeah and in 20 years I'll also be old and ugly so what's the problem?
Further I think if he wants the procedure so bad he should pay for it.
If you're willing to do it that's your business but clearly as the man in the relationship he should be the man and also pay the bill.
Such is life.

DEAR ABBY: My family has been keeping a secret from my grandmother. I have a 17-month-old daughter that she doesn't know exists. I wanted to tell my grandma from the start about her great-granddaughter (her first), but I am afraid to. My family thinks that telling her will cause too much stress on her. No one in the family takes my feelings into consideration.
I think my grandmother should know she's a great-grandma. The problem is, I don't know how to tell her. She's 90 years old. I'm afraid if I say something now, it really might be too stressful for her. Also, I'm afraid that if I reveal this secret, it will start a family feud.
I want a relationship with my grandma like I used to have. I cry every time I talk to her on the phone because I have to lie to her about my day-to-day life and why I can't come to see her. I am really starting to resent my family. Please help.

What?
Why the secrecy?
Are you 17 and had it out of wedlock?
Also good Christ your grandmother is 90 years old. I think she can handle a little controversy.
Like I'm sure at 90 she hasn't seen some shit.
She has seen and done everything under the sun. Don't even be worried about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who I have been friends with for years. However, there is one thing I can't stand about her. It's her vulgar language. Every sentence that comes out of her mouth includes the F-word. She's not a soft-spoken individual, so others can hear her. It embarrasses me and makes me not want to be around her in public.
How can I tell her she embarrasses me when she talks that way? -- SOFT-SPOKEN FRIEND

Grow a set.

 A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY, COURTESY OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: "He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals."

Whoa I just quoted Benjamin Franklin.
My quote was better though.
Abby we are on the same page tonight.
In fact let's depart with some more wisdom from ol' Ben:

Kings have long Arms, but Misfortune longer:
Let none think themselves out of her Reach.

Truly a wise man.
The song of the now.