Fuck

So you may remember when I tried to be president of anime but nope, didn't get to be president of anime.
Guess who did, though?
No justice in the world.
I can't even pretend this isn't about jealousy because it completely is.

What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie flavor?

WOOOOOW THE THOUGHT PROVOKING QUESTIONS OF FUCKING WRITER'S BLOCK.

Thin Mints, and now I hate you, LJ, because NO GIRL SCOUT COOKIES FOR ME *sob*

Hambeast, ahoy!

What is the weirdest question you’ve ever been asked?

I've been through pussy sensitivity so I'm sure I've heard some shit but nothing really springs to mind.

AHAHAHAH, I've lived in Japan, so I've gotten some doozies. They include:

Yeah, rub it in.
I wonder what this beast did to get hired?

Upon finding out on a forum that Bioware had always planned to write the male Shepard in Mass Effect with gay options, but the model they were using for the maleShep refused to have teh icky ghey associated with him, so they had to abandon that plan with the code half done, and they made gay male options available in the last game since it's the last game so who needs that model dude, I am TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY playing ME and ME2 with a maleShep who is repressed and closeted and only can be true to himself and come out the last game.

Fuck.
That's why Space Marine didn't sell any copies. No gay sex or romance options. Just tons of smashing Ork heads with a hammer.

Because that's how I *badumtish* role.

*ducks* XD

Good, good.
No, that's cool. I can't even get mad.

Guess who gets to go to Kyoto University Hospital!

:DDD

*headdesk*

No, I'm cool. Really.
Seriously this motherfucker got hired over me. Is there justice in the world?
No, there isn't.

Which video game character would you like to have as your real-life BFF? 

Well assuming I can't pick a waifu and we really would just be best bros--
I guess Adam Jensen from Deus Ex: Human Revolution?
He seems like a pretty cool guy.

Lightning from FF13, because she's just that badass.

Good.
Good.
GOOD.
FUCK.

OK, so, a lot of you are foodies or look at food blogs. Me, I'm a "whatever I don't have to cook"ie, so.

At work now, we're translating a recipe blog. Which is great and all, but there a sticking point I need opinions on, namely how to translate a cutesy-sounding Japanese thing into a cutesy-sounding English thing. I would welcome ideas, because I am sick and feverish and therefore very low on creativity right now. ^^;;

What, am I doing your fucking job for you now?

So, the thing I'm trying to translate is つくれぽ ("tsukurepo"

... Something report, anyway.

which is short for つくりましたフォトレポート ("TSUKUrimashita foto REPOoto," 

Yeah thanks for the translation.
Surprisingly I'm not completely fat and I can read two languages.
So that's a photo report of things cooked.

report of what you cooked), and it's where people who tried to make the recipe take a picture of the result and upload it with a one or two sentence review of how it came out. (An example would be at the bottom of the page here)

"Photo report" and "recipe report" are both kinda ok, but also both kinda blah. Can y'all think of anything?

Yeah I know.
I already said that.
Look, motherfucker, if you want me to do your fucking job because you're too incompetent to do it shut up and let me work.
...
FOODo Report.
Get it?
Like PHOTO but it's FOOD-o--
I dunno.
Fuck this.

Calling my family on Christmas made me remember why I always do my damnedest to avoid having to go back there.

My best Christmas present was my phone hanging up on my big brother as he lectured me on how I was just making excuses for not exercising. 'Cause, you know, not exercising when I have two injured legs and a hand in a splint, that's not an excuse, that's just laziness. I should be doing pushups.

You are awfully whiny.
I imagine most of your health problems are bullshit like all Livejournal users.

Yes, my big brother told me I should be doing pushups. And when I reiterated that MY HAND IS IN A SPLINT from the base of my fingers all the way up to my elbow, he said I was making excuses and would find a way to exercise if I really wanted to. -_-

Never mind that right now, I'm mainly just waiting for my new knee braces to come in so I can start walking again and that I keep getting injured because I push myself too hard.

Poooooooor baby.

Oh, no. I'm just lazy and making excuses. Oh, and don't realize how fat I really am. *eyetwitch*

Amerifats.

They should have called it "Final Fantasy 13-B." Because everything about this game screams "B-team." B-team writers, B-team characters...ugh.

C team because FF13 was the B team.

If any of y'all are interested, I'm live tweeting FF13-2 as I play it now. XD

I'm stopthatgirl7.
Live Tweeting FF13-2.

So I can watch
a girl
on Twatter
play a shitty sequel
to the worst Final Fantasy ever?
AND I SOMEHOW MISSED THIS OPPORTUNITY?

What are you allergic to?

Pollen.
I take this crap for it and it works but not that well.

In a Moment of Zen, I discovered I was allergic to a medicine I was being given for allergies.

...Allergies which, it turned out, I did not even have, because the doc misdiagnosed asymptomatic GERD as a dust allergy.

I have also ended up in the hospital on an IV after getting a hyaluronic acid injection for a busted knee. That was unfun.

Wooooooow.
All people on Livejournal are full of shit.

So I'm once again injured and hobbling around, and seeing as I am both a) foreign and b) obviously injured, I am getting stared at. A lot. And I'm developing a hierarchy of hate in my head for the way people react when I'm hobbling around:

Wow you went to a country notorious in not giving a fuck and openly staring at gimpy foreigners and now you're angry when you get looks because you're a foreigner who acts crazy.
You know if you'd hire me there'd be none of these problems.
I'm like a fucking ghost's shadow. They won't even know I'm there.

5. "Huh. Injured foreigner. Don't see that every day. *goes back to whatever they were doing*" Very low on the hate scale.

4. The people who ignore me. I don't hate you...unless you're sitting in a priority seat on the train and ignoring me, in which case you jump to the top of the hate list.

Shut up.

3. The obaasans and ojiisans who stare and keep on staring as I hobble down the street or into a seat. Yes, I'm foreign and injured; you are rude and annoying.

They're old people.
Old people are cool as hell.
Oh yeah, translation for people who aren't weeaboo cunts: old women and old men.
Literally it's "grandmother" and "grandfather" but in Japan you can address any old person as that as long as it's not to their face unless you know them--
if you can dig it--
otherwise it's rude.

2. "Aww, the poor thing!!" ...Those of you who knew me from college will perhaps recall me waving my cane around in the air and threatening to beat people with it for things like this

Yeah the slut whining incessantly sure isn't looking for a pity party, nope.

1. The creepers who take advantage of the fact that my gait when I'm wearing a knee brace causes my boobs bounce more and stare more openly at my chest. *rage* I hate you all and want you to DIE, you perverted fucks. (>_<),|,,

Yeah you already admitted you're morbidly obese in you're in the land of hot Asian chicks so nice fucking try, idiot.
I mean at bare minimum Japan has the lowest obesity rate in the world so your waifu will at least not be fat so come on, what, did you think I wasn't paying attention to the other dumb bullshit you were writing?
Oh yeah, that's right, ladies. I'm so literate I still know exactly what you say despite not paying attention.
Welcome to your worst nightmare. A guy who pays attention while not paying attention.

The more I'm reading of this lecture given by Mamoru Oshii (「若者は夢を持つな」と監督が言った), the more it's pissing me off. I've only read about half, but I'm at the point where he's all theorizing and pontificating about how Westerners have suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a hard time grasping what a "ghost" in Ghost in the Shell is and how Japanese get it so easily and blah blah blah NIHONJINRON!! all over the place, and my eye is fucking twitching.

Motherfucker isn't going to lecture me on cyberpunk.
That was your problem.
Know who can lecture me on cyberpunk?
No one. I'm already top ace on the subject, fuck you.
A ghost, as defined by Ghost in the Shell, is the handful of gray matter near the spinal cord that constitutes what a Christian might define as a soul or a scientist of the 20th century your consciousness.
Basically it's the essence of what makes you who you are.
This is important in Ghost in the Shell and all cyberpunk shit really because in worlds where a person can just move their whole being to a new robot body suddenly the definition of human shifts pretty significantly.
Don't worry ladies I've already figured out the hard hitting issues of our time for you.

I bet you money if you said, "Hey, Mr. Oshii, do you know what the Holy Ghost is?" to him, he'd be completely WTFBBQ at you (admittedly, so would a lot of Westerners, since it's very metaphysical eschatology, but still. Cultural concept). Or "Hey, ever hear of 'the ghost in the machine'?"

Not even what ghost from Ghost in the Shell refers to you fucking idiot.
How the fuck can anyone 1. assume a group of people who have watched the cartoon not know what it means? They flat out tell you what it means and 2. how the fuck can you get this wrong if you've seen the fucking cartoon? They flat out tell you what it means.
So what I'm getting here is you're pissed that he was mean to Westerners but the only person I've ever seen fuck this up was a Westerner so apparently he was at least partially correct.
I love Ghost in the Shell a lot. It's probably in my top 5 anime of all time but let's be honest: it wasn't hard hitting in terms of transhumanist philosophy. Its depth was entirely sociological. Any idea it had about what it meant to be human was already tread ground 20 years ago.

So, in other words, oh, sit down and shut the fuck up about why you think Westerners aren't getting it. WORDS MEAN THINGS. You can go on about cultural concepts - I did with the whole "Holy Ghost" thing - 

Yeah and you got it dead fucking wrong. They redefined the term ghost.
Bang up fucking job proving him right, though.
Idiot.

Dear men driving vans,

No. No, it is NOT OK to slow down and openly stare at me when you drive by. What it is is threatening. Stop.

Didn't happen. Fuck you.

Dear guy friends making what they think are funny comments in response to me saying this,

You're not funny, and it ain't cute. What it is is dismissive and belittling. Stop.

No love,

me

No joke. Fuck you.
Wait, no, I have a joke:
MUST BE A PRETTY BIG VAN TO KIDNAP YOU!
HAR HAR HAR HAR
HOPE HE LIFTS WITH HIS KNEES OR HE'LL THROW A DISC!
HAR HAR HAR HAR--
Man I am good.

...And seriously. One guy in a van slowing down to stare in one day is vaguely ick, but two in one day, and before it's even the end of lunchtime, is fucking creepy.

...
Thought I had a third one in me but I'm not really feeling anything.

What is your favorite childhood fairytale?

I checked the answers for this and the number of people who said "The Bible" was staggering.
Cool it, Linkin Park.

Cupid and Psyche.

...I didn't read too many fairy tales, OK? I preferred mythology. ^^;;

Boring as fuck.
Best mythological story, everyone knows, is The Odyssey.
How about that time Zeus killed that guy with a lightning bolt?
Oh right that was every story in Greek Mythology ever.
Zeus kicks ass.
Zeus likes to punish sinners but one time a guy killed his own father by burning him to death but Zeus reckoned the actual sin here was when the guy assumed he was as clever as Zeus.
I don't know how clever anyone involved was but I do know the guy certainly couldn't outsmart a lightning bolt.

They were all white, shortish hair, middle-to-upper-middle class-looking, and looked like they spent a shade too much time in the gym.

I was not impressed.

Seriously, y'all, looking at supposedly hot manflesh should not be boring, but that was. It was all very clearly one specific type of fetish, and extremely boring because of it.

Yeah, not up to hambeast's exacting standards, here.

Steve Jobs once said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." He inspired a generation to Think Different. How has the legacy of Apple's co-founder influenced your life?

He hasn't.

Steve Jobs and his vision of what tech could be completely changed what tech is.

As I put on my Facebook after a hater went on about how they didn't have any Apple products so Steve Jobs didn't revolutionize their life: "Oh, so your computer doesn't use a mouse, doesn't have a graphical user interface, and only comes with a single, default font? Interesting."

Steve Jobs invented none of these things.

So I woke up at 6:30 am, and then had a hell time dragging my ass out of bed. >XD 7:00, I finally went, "It's now or never, girl. If you're serious about getting into better shape, you get up now, or you give up the whole thing."

So I got up, (checked my e-mail, did farmville, stopped slacking, and) pulled on my workout clothes, and got started. :Db

Oh boy
Wii Fit and Farmville
Gamer girl watch out

The last month or so, I've been feeling chubby. >< I realized as well that I had gone back to wearing my larger band-size bras, and where I was hooking them was moving. That made me "..." a whole lot.

So Monday, I bought some batteries and put them in my balance board so I could restart doing Wii Fit...only to discover the batteries in the Wiimote were ALSO dead.

Note to self: buy rechargeable batteries. Which I will be doing when I go into Kyoto for my Korean lesson.

So I bought new batteries for the Wiimote yesterday,

Watch out white woman spending money--

Behold, the single most depressing sentence I have ever had to translate:

"Try to abstain from drinking at the evacuation shelter."

Hahaha-- awesome.
My favorite unit in Japanese class was the unit on murder and crime solving.
Poor Arnil the Indian or whatever his name was. He'll never get to take that bitch out now because he's FUCKING DEAD.
Oh yeah the Japanese textbooks had a plot line.
Murdered for what amounted to 250 dollars and a TV. Just like real life.

This is like an extreme example of White Woman's Tears, when a POC is talking about the racism they've faced, and a white woman starts crying in sympathy, and suddenly everyone is comforting the crying white woman and ignoring the person who actually suffered from the racism.

POC is person of color.
Thank you, pussy sensitivity. 
That's when I'd look over at the girl sitting next to me and say "this is all your fault" and she'd look up at me and say "my iPhone's screen is broken" and then we'd laugh and laugh and fuck that class.
Man she was a good pal in that class. Wonder whatever happened to her?

This article is that to an extreme and frankly disgusting degree. Suddenly, everything is about the traumatized white woman who saw someone get raped and how she copes with it, and not the person who was raped.

To be blunt, I don't care about what this woman did to get over her trauma by proxy to violent rape. I care a hell of a lot more about the woman who was violently raped, whose story no one STILL seems to care about.  

What a shame.
So apparently some reporter bitch saw a woman getting raped and now to overcome the stress she likes to have violent sex.
I'm sure that's the only reason she likes to have violent sex and she totally wasn't into that shit before.
Lots of girls like having their ass slapped during sex, it's nothing to write an article on CNN about.
Anyway I'm tired of looking at Blogger's shitty new interface.
Time to go~