Friday, December 3, 2010

I've been busy.

I know I forgot to update Wednesday but I had a lot of shit to do, not the least of which was:


For the utterly clueless on all things video games, this is my FFXIV character. She is level 37 with rank 30 pugilist, 25 armorer, 16 leatherworker, 14 miner, 13 blacksmith and 12 lancer. Those are her five highest jobs.
Just a neat little thing I found.
Anyway, back to this nonsense: here is a blog.

Do you keep in touch with any of your exes on LiveJournal or other social networking sites? When an ex friends you, do you usually friend them back? Why or why not?

No I'd take steps to remove them from my life, in fact.
Not on LJ but one of my exs is my best friend. She has proven to me to be a real friend. Maybe we can connect romantically again but I will always love her and she will always be there. I could never let her go.

For a long time while I was skimming this blog I figured this was a guy, and I thought it was very strange he had this fascination with Lady Gaga and his smiley face at the bottom that tells what his mood is was Alice in Wonderland and it was all very peculiar to me and I was thinking this guy was secretly gay but it turns out she is openly gay.
For once I'd like to read a blog that deals with simple gender and sexuality issues.
That goes for the dumb cunts with 50 boyfriends too, incidentally.
If you could make a cameo appearance on a TV show, which show would you choose, and what type of character would you play?

>if you could make a cameo appearance on a TV show
> make a cameo appearance on
> a cameo appearance
> cameo
God I know too much shit.

This is a slightly weird question in terms of defination. A cameo is when a famous person makes an apperance as themselves.

Oh hello, typos. What the fuck? "Apperance". Sound that out you twit. Ever heard of phonics?
Good grief.
"ap-per-ahns" is how you'd pronounce that.
Just break down the word. You can appear, and-- no, no, I spend too much of my working day breaking down words for 9th graders, I don't need to do it in my spare time.

Since I am not a famous person (yet) I can't really answer this in those terms.

YET, guys.
Sure.

I don't even know where to begin. Where do I start? Why do I even feel like this? That feeling of never wanting to get out of bed.

Do you even know how early I had to get up this morning?
7:30. It's unreasonable to have to be active in the middle of the goddamn night. Then I have to enter the most chaotic situation imaginable-- it's too much. It's 5:00 PM now and I think I could handle this shit now but not at 9:00.
The problem is I have to use my adult voice and I can't just kick the fuckers out of class for being goddamn pussies.
Are you kidding me a hardcore thug like this kid pretends to be is whining about reading 12 pages?

My head pounds so hard that I can't control it. It just feels like my insides are going to explode and the tears come faster than I can control them.

Oh right, yes. Back to you.

Nothing is in my control. Nothing is within my grasp and perhaps that's why I feel this way.

You don't want to be in control. You cannot handle that responsibility. You need your life dictated to you.
This never ending torment that keeps me insane It just gnaws on me. It just chews at me and tears me apart.

I'm not fucking kidding, either. Can you imagine this in reverse as easily as I can? "WHAAAA I HAVE TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY SOMETIMES I JUST WISH THE DECISIONS WERE MADE FOR ME I HAVE TROUBLE GETTING OUT OF BED PLEASE FEEL SORRY FOR ME :("

I feel like I'm saying everything and nothing at all.

You know not to sound sexist because men often have this problem too but I've noticed a lot of women I talk to lately have been guilty of this. Saying a lot without saying anything at all.
Where is she? Happy as could be but I'm sure nothing is as it seems. All I need is to hug her, cry on her and have her hold me like a mother.

Listen to Word Up by Cameo. No bad feelings can survive that song.
Do I push them away or do they go away? Did you go away because I pushed or was it because you decided I wasn't worth it anymore?

After reading this I'm guessing it's both.
Are the moments of happiness worth the overwhelming lonely moments of pain? Are they? Who could answer this for me?

You feel too much. I haven't felt this much raw emotion outside of anger and disappointment in months.
Anger and disappointment, incidentally, are the two most useful emotions you can have.

Transitioning into what I should be the fear I feel is taking me over. It's consuming my soul.

What the fuck does this even mean? She even admits (in the most annoying way possible) that she doesn't make any goddamn sense but I'm here to tell you, Livejournal users, that acknowledging your problems are not the same as addressing them.
You're not the only one guilty of this, Gagasexual (Christ). You know who you are.
The root of "address" is "dress". As in "dressing a wound", you know.
The spout of sadness that is me. It is making me up to where I push away. I want to lock myself away and wither. I'm like the rose in the glass container.
Ugh.
UGH.
World's biggest douche shiver, Jesus Christ.
Wilting, dying, just not being solid. Independence has been lost on me. The pain is going away now. It's not gnawing at me. Its not forcing me on my knees.

Anyway check out this outfit for my FFXIV character. It is, as the kids say, "the motherfuckin' bomb-diggity":
Click to make larger.

My hands over my head as I scream out.

Yeah that's a mask that just happens to be the color of her skin and not her actual face.
She doesn't actually look like those weird pig people in that episode of the Twilight Zone where Elly May Clampet has surgery to fix her face because she's ugly and it turns out she's beautiful and everyone else is ugly and they live in some sort of bizarre alien fascist society (spoilers) (increasingly obscure reference).
Personally I like the look of the masks. So many of the quests are supposed to be clandestine affairs anyway disguising your identity seems like something you might actually want to do.
Not to mention the stats are considerable.
Silently scream out. Silent.

That reminds me of an awesome story with the incredibly emo title "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream". Basically it's the future and the three supercomputers man has built to figure out the logistics for his wars have unified into one sentient AI called "AM" and it systematically kills every human except for five people that it keeps eternally youthful to torture forever.
It's pretty fucking grim.
I dunno how to tell her. I'm so fucked up. Before me and her get into this. Before he and I get into this. I can't pick what I want.
Speaking of check out how fucking gay this guy's character is:
Again, click to make bigger. Seriously is this guy even trying? Skirt, tights, gogo boots-- somehow my character, a a cat girl who is probably somewhere around 5'2" and has her hands clutched together in horror manages to be manlier than this tool.

Every time I do, my heart is broken. Painfully broken to the floor as my body is wrecked.

Oh rush of strange memories, not the least of which is a Naruto AMV featuring "Bodies" by Drowning Pool I think that band was.
God I know too much shit.
If you want to look into my soul, put on some sunglasses because the brightness will blind you. Shining so bright that the whole thing is on fire.

Ah according to Warhammer that means you are powerfully psychic and leaking a lot of mortal corruption.
I see a purging in your future.
Well I suppose the alternate is you could become an inquisitor (Space Marine and therefore Grey Knight is a path closed to you as a woman) but let's face it you don't have the conviction to become an inquisitor.

She's happy. I'm miserable. Forever alone.

Oh, hey!

I know it seems like I'm using a lot of pictures this post but honestly how often will I get to use this image?
Here's a stupid thing she copied and pasted and answered all the questions to and it's supposed to prove (or disprove I didn't read it) something. Anyway I came across this question:
96. Danced in the rain.

and was suddenly reminded of that movie The Recruit. It had Al Pacino in it and anyway one scene the guy is getting interviewed by some psychoanalyst so he can become a CIA operative and the analyst asks him if he'd rather "walk in the rain, wait for the train or feel no pain" anyway I don't know why I thought of that just now.
It's pretty good if you can put up with Colin Farrell's acting.
Man this blog is just a series of images, some cunt whining and me being suddenly reminded of obscure things from a few years back.
I can't imagine who reads this.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

The side by the door.

That's the side the submissive person sleeps on.
According to Stanford University, anyway.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

Aggressive.

Oh well, that's what you can do with your psychology department, Stanford.
Aggressively submissive?
[10 Favorite Bands/Musicians]

1) Lady Gaga

2) Ke$ha

Ha ha, oh wow.

What is your favorite genre of music?: Rock, Synth, Pop

What is your least favorite genre of music?: Beiber, Disney... crap like that. Ugh.

How can you like Kesha but not like Justin Bieber, honest to God?
Also synth pop, huh. You don't even know the meaning. I REALLY LIKE SYNTH AND POP. WHO'S DURAN DURAN?
Fucking hell.

Last cd you bought?: For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert

HOW CAN YOU LIKE ADAM LAMBERT PERIOD?

Who is/are your favourite bassist(s)?: Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS?

What album are you ashamed to have?: Spice Girls XD

After all the shit you said you feel shame?
In fact, I'd much rather admit to liking the Spice Girls than Kesha.
At least with the Spice Girls you could get away with saying "yeah I know it's stupid but whatever I like it." With Kesha you just look like a twat.
What is your favorite video game?
Kingdom Hearts.

Welp.
Time to pack this one the fuck up, I think.
You're probably one of those cunts who plays Kingdom Hearts but doesn't really like Disney and hasn't even heard of Final Fantasy prior to playing Kingdom Hearts. You just do it because the plot seems deep and you can write a lot of fanfiction about. Fuck you.
Fuck Kingdom Hearts too, for the record.

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