:3c

I find today's blog a lot of fun to say aloud: Kaizokukingvj.
Keye-zoh-koo-kingcuhvvvvvg.
Just rolls right off the tongue.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, maybe its cause this is what I feared.

I fell for her, I knew I shouldn't have.

Whatever, shit we've all heard before. The only reason I quote this, and indeed the only reason anyone might care is because soon we will be playing "guess the gender" and I feel this is an important entry into answering (or confusing, as is the case) the question.

I just...I have alot of things worrying me I guess.

Like will I pass any of my damn classes? was all that effort worth nothing? It doesn't help that I just found out theirs a new law in place that will extend the age of free insurance to non students from 18 to 26. SO FUCK ME RIGHT?

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!!??!?! Not really sure why I quoted this, come to think of it.

Oh yeah and how about the constant worry that I might fuck up just enough that my dearest mother will finally just tell me to pack up my shit and get out? thats not concerning at all. Noooo.

Ughhh side note, Adam's breath smells like utter shit ( I'm stuck in a bed next to him draining the last remaining power on my laptop cause I can't turn on the light to find a plug) he just turned his head to me in his sleep and is breathing heavily, the stink pouring out my way (UGGGHHH BRUSH YOUR TEETH YOUR FUCKING DISGUSTING)

That's charming.
I guess this is a guy and that's his brother?

Like I sat in this bed for an hour and thought " what if I will never be able to get my license? What if my sensory integration disorder holds me back at that too?

YER WOT?
Whoa that somehow turned me into an Ork. That's pretty douchey, bro.
Let's consult Wikipedia:

Sensory integration dysfunction is a term used to describe difficulty with sensory integration.[citation needed]

Great so that's cleared that one right up.

and fuck if I can't get my license how am I supposed to get a job?

Asshole: bus schedule.

and then there is this the impossible situation with the girl I like. Shes wonderful and damn near everything I have been looking for and heck the girl even likes me back too. Sounds great right? we can talk for hours and hours and all she does is make me smile profusely I can't get her out of my head.

Asshole: sitting outside of the girl's lavatory masturbating furiously when she steps out of the shower does not, in civilized society, equal a conversation.
Believe me, I have the restraining orders to prove it.
Also: what the fuck is the goddamn problem? She "like likes" you, and you "like like" her, so what the shit?

But par the usual course she lives 8 hours a way and if I want to go into slightly more privy details has a boyfriend ( at least as far as I know at this moment) she usually makes a point to talk to me as much as pos

Shut up, listen to me. Bitch is playing you. Or, she won't break up with her boyfriend because you're a "nice guy" and he's more the "asshole she'll stay with" type, which frankly dude, you're pretty much a goddamn pussy so that seems the most likely case.
You can either man the fuck up and steal her out from under that asshole or move on. Shit or get off the pot, as they say.

and she has been having problems with her boyfriend ( who even worse I know and respect, but ack you can't help who you fall for right?) but right now she is probably still with him and who knows maybe they worked things out, in one sense I'll be happy.

Can I call this shit or what?
You're probably the type who then goes on to internet forums I peruse bitching about how you're "so lonely" when we're ostensibly talking about video games.
Also: the cute girl at Gamestop is hired specifically for the reason to sell video games to cave-dwelling ogres such as yourself, so no, she isn't really hitting on you. Dope.

I hate this situation hate might be too strong I'm just frustated. I like a girl who is having boyfriend troubles, she likes me, alot it seems.

Honest to God. "Talk to me when you get a fucking clue" would be my response.
There's, what, nine billion people on the planet and 4.5 billion are women? Just saying, dude. You could probably find someone else.

I have known for quite sometime that my happiness is going to be hard to achieve, I want fame and recognition for creativity

its something you need luck to get.

Also you need, you know, talent.

I wrote one story not to long ago, that quite alot of people liked, I'd like to flush that out a bit.

Flesh*, although "flush" is probably accurate to what should really happen.
Now there's a post about how he "envies Team Rocket" from Pokemon, and after sitting here for about five minutes searching the deep recesses of my brain for something witty to say, then consulting my (now diminished) reaction image folder, I don't really have anything to say about it.
So moving on--
Now there's some more bullshit where he "feels used" and here's a drawing he did which, bro, if that's your talent, good luck getting acknowledgment for it. I doodle better shit when I'm bored.
I'm not even trying to be all pro, either. I fucking suck at drawing.

I'm all talk aren't I? I'm supposed to be strong. People look up to me don't they?

No.
No to the last part, that is. I don't know what you mean by "I'm all talk" because your "talk" basically amounts to "I'm a goddamn pussy" and yeah, you are that, so-- no, I guess you aren't all talk. So, "no" to both parts, then.

I want to be held.

Ugh, this doesn't end, does it?

I feel like emotionally I'm trapped in a gray room, rocking back and forth in the fetal position crying out for salvation, waiting ever so patiently for the cavalry to arrive and remove me from my colorless prison to colorful freedom.

Blanket statement to all blogs, incidentally.

I'm reminded of Persona 3's nod to Revelations in the description of the hospital I'm in it seems like no one is here but my attendant her names cindy but I will call her Maya.

Okay whoa, whoa. Let's take this easy.
Okay obviously he means "Revelations: Persona" the first Persona game, and not-- the Bible.
Is there a hospital in Persona 3? I know the main character winds up there at the start and he returns later to visit-- all right, there's no getting around it. I fucking love SMT. I'm an SMT expert, and even this is way over my head.

Waiting for Maya to come back take my lunch order and put me to sleep.

Maya was the reporter from Persona 2 though, wasn't she? I don't really--

Of feeling like I am not good enough for anyone. Like seriously do I have to get fucking lipo suction to be accepted by a girl?

Ah yes, the ever-separating asshole that is the live triangle between being a cave troll forever and your desire for human contact.

So tomorrow I'm going to a party filled with models. Amy says shes going to try to set me up with one too lol.

Models, known for their depth of character, will assuredly be attracted to our fat friend here, our fat friend who can't drive, doesn't have a job and can't stop whining.
All right this is starting to give me a goddamn headache. I've experienced similar whining from girls but at least that had the added bonus of breasts, but this-- this.

SEMICOLONS

I have always felt that the semicolon should be filed under the "with restraint" category. Alongside the exclamation point and the ellipsis, the semicolon should only be used when there is absolutely no other way to properly express your meaning. However, unlike the exclamation point and the ellipsis, the semicolon doesn't exactly imply a certain tone. I think if you went through my blog you would find (outside of other people using it [likely improperly, of course]) maybe twice that I've used the semicolon. That's probably being generous. I wouldn't be surprised that I haven't used it at all in the past year and a half.
Actually, no, I tell a lie. I do recall using it once to make fun of someone else using it improperly.
So I'd be honestly surprised if I've used it more than once.
So imagine my surprise when I come across this blog, a blog that manages to use the semicolon a staggering 42 times on the front page alone.
And you'll never guess what: amazingly, not all of them are properly used.
I know, I know.

Kristen's fiery passion, indeed, makes very nations fearful.

I don't know. It's grammatically correct but it lacks the nuances of someone who actually knows how to write (or speak English). Usually when you say "indeed" it's to expound on something, not the OPENING FUCKING SENTENCE. Sometimes you can do shit like that to emulate picking up a conversation at the midpoint but no, this just sucks. Also: "very nations"? Shouldn't that be "the" very nations? Even with a definite article it still doesn't make much sense. The very nations of what? Who the fuck is Kristen?

I terrified and angered several people over a blog I posted on Facebook the other day.

Oh no, you've invoked the wrath of FACEBOOK? What are you going to do with yourself?

Does the fact that I am so passionate about these selected people really scare everyone? Or is it that I wasn't passionate about them, and they desperately needed to feel like it was? Is passion so forgotten and disliked that it's now a complete social taboo?

Passionate FOR FUCKING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK, sweetheart. Don't act like you're fucking Passion of the Christ (different meaning of passion but whatever) on this shit, please.

I dreamt that I had become relatively successful; lived upper-middle-class; payed my debts.

SEMICOLONS DO NOT REPLACE COMMAS.
I don't know why people have such problems with this. Just look at a semicolon. It's a period on top of a comma. THAT EXPLAINS THE MEANING.
Also she calls this dream "a nightmare" which if those are nightmares I'd like to see your good dreams.
So skipping through some nonsense I come to this:

I have always believed that YHWH misplaced my eyes when he put me together.

Oooookay. "YHWH" also known as the "Tetragrammaton" (not a Transformer, honest) is some sort of fancy-pants Hebrew bullshit for the TRUE NAME OF GOD because his name isn't "GOD" or even "JESUS" it's something so HORRIFIC AND TERRIFYING if you knew it'd blow your mind up like Kenshiro just punched you square in your stupid face.
Which in terms of Biblical bullshit is actually pretty awesome, but I've never actually seen anyone outside of, say, the yo-yos that wrote Xenogears seriously use it.

My mother has beautiful, clear, grey-green eyes. My dad has equally lovely deep brown eyes.

Megan and myself got brown eyes and my younger sister has lovely hazel eyes.

So we can trust God "misplaced your eyes" (God, as WE ALL KNOW, is perfect as his creation, so you're a FILTHY HERETIC for suggesting otherwise) or we can do some high school science to figure it out. I made a chart demonstrating how such a MYSTERIOUS EVENT could occur but I'll spare anyone reading this the details and just call you an idiot.

I wore hazel contacts today, and very little makeup. and people still told me I was pretty.
I believe that there is a certain honesty that lighter colors bring out in me. A certain vulnerability... a realistic me.

Oh please, do continue.

The one I dont want people to know.
This is the part of me that deeply desires to be held by someone they love. This is the one who dreams of her broken past becoming an equally broken future.
When I dont look like myself, i feel more like myself than when I dress normally. There's something wrong with me, I know.

Oh I was just kidding about that "do continue" thing. It was sarcastic, see.
Now she has an "lolxD" post about various philosophers answering the ol' classic "why did the chicken cross the road?" and they're all very douchey except for one from my personal hero, Tomás de Torquemada, first Inquisitor General of Spain:

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Nobody fucks with Torquemada.
He's pretty much the only person directly imported into Warhammer 40,000 with absolutely no changes made to his character and yet he fits perfectly.

I've also, for the first time since I have begun considering at the age of 13, I have decided that it is my sincere desire to be Jewish. A local Rabbi was gracious enough to make an appointment with me so I may ask what I must do to make the conversion.

You know you have to learn Hebrew, right?
Or maybe you don't anymore, shit. The Catholic church softened and doesn't require Latin.

Reflection can be a dangerous thing.

I've had too much time on my hands lately; and too much of it alone.

I'm afraid I've been thinking.
A dangerous pastime, I know.

(kudos if you sang along)

What?
I'm trying to imagine the tune you would play behind those lines and nothing that makes sense is really coming to mind.

despite my low GPA from Otis screwing me over.

Oh look at that handy excuse "MY GPA IS SCREWING ME OVER". Well who got that low GPA?
Listen, I just survived the douchiest semester of college in history and I still came out with like a 3.6 or something. Not my personal best, but I'm not all "passionate" and shit like you are, so you should be able to do much better than me.

But if things have to be this way, I'm not gonna try to fight it anymore.


I've tried so hard,

OH FUCK. Of all the songs to be reminded of, this reminds me of a... Linkin Park(?) song.
I have to hand it to you. Even the douchebaggiest of the douches at least remind me of something like Al Green or Aerosmith. You remind me of Linkin Park.
That's-- that's something to be proud of, I guess.
Now she's quoting the blog of someone else and I can only summarize it as "the ramblings of a fucking mental patient," but it does contain this line:

THE SWORD, NOW USED AS SHIELD.

Yeah that'd be called a parry, bro. Parry and riposte. Basics of fencing, now. Of course only the French can do something queer like add a point-based rule system to sword fighting but okay I'll roll with it. (look up fencing terms for added hilarity. Suddenly fencing sounds like a mix of ballet and gay porn)

I decided to get away this weekend; go to yuma.

So you know what's way fucking better than anything I'll ever read in this blog? 3:10 to Yuma.
In fact, yeah fuck this noise. Going to go watch a movie or something.