Dumb, boring bullshit

Hiding behind a "you are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors" is a surefire way to bore me instantly. In the history of Edie Finds a Corpse have I ever stumbled across a blog that had material "inappropriate for minors"? I can't recall a time where hiding 'neath the blinding surface was pornography or a raunchy sex story or a grand tell of crime and villainy. I always click it and it's "HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY TAXES THIS YEAR" which I swear to Christ we are about to read.
Oh boy is it coming.

Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is returning to acting, which of his film characters would you like to see him play first?

Well Commando is one of my favorite movies and they haven't shit all over it yet so I guess Commando might be fun to ruin.

I'd like to see him do something entirely new. I'm tired of Hollywood rehashing everything, especially of things they've already redone several times. Give him something with a little more depth than catchphrases and bone-crushing stunts.

The man has the acting range of a foghorn. I don't think "something with a little more depth" is Arnold.

Instead, the post I'm making now is an emergency. And I absolutely, thoroughly hate that it's gotten to this.

Alex is still out of work. No one has followed up with him. He's gotten a letter saying what we're approved to get for unemployment ($330 a week), but no check has been forthcoming. We don't even know when we'll get one.

I'd like to point out by Livejournal's rating standards this entry requires you to be a legal adult to read. That is one year higher than an R-rated movie or an M-rated video game.
This blog has the same requirement that it would take to walk into an adult bookstore and buy hardcore pornography.

We need help, big time, right now. We can't afford to be evicted; there's no where we can go. I can't go homeless again. And if it weren't for me, Alex would be seriously contemplating something dire.

We'll try to get what help we can from Georgia DHS... but for now, we just need to keep a roof over our heads.

Change you can believe in.

I'm happy to consider giving any of my services in return for immediate help.

HEH NOW I SEE WHY THIS BLOG IS 18+
STEALTH PROSTITUTION ON LIVEJOURNAL.

Do you want me to draw something for you? Give consultation on an interior design project? Draw up some plans? I can hand render and I've got AutoCAD. Do you want me to write something for you?

Oh. Those services.

I've almost got my monologue for V-Day memorized. I'm performing "Hair," and the director loves what I'm doing with it. My main notes for this week consist of continuing to memorize, because that's going to aid me with enunciating and projecting my voice. Considering the character, I think that's doubly needed: she wants to make sure that she's heard.

No context necessary, please.
This is seriously about as interesting as the Final Fantasy XIV threads that are always entitled something like "why I quit" like anyone cares why that you quit.
"I know I got a friend code from a friend and played all the way to level 5 on miner so I feel fully justified in telling you my personal journal in this game."

A little bitch session about my Ancient Art & Architecture class -- though really, to be fair, maybe it's a bitch session about SCAD and how all the good resources are in Savannah and Atlanta has to beg. Anyway... so today, we're supposed to talk about the Parthenon frieze.

Triglyphs. What's there to know?

Our professor wanted us to read approximately 50 pages of material and photocopy 7 pages of images to assemble (before class, preferably, though we'd spend time in class going over them).

Taking art history at UNCG, I see.
Christ all mighty.
Whoa sorry ended up having some leather orders to fill for bros in FFXIV then I did some leves then I ate dinner and then I washed the gimp and basically found any excuse not to keep reviewing this blog.
And now that I think about it, leves reset again.
See you Wednesday~

Let's break in my new graphics card!

Oh hi if you see this I succeeded in fixing my computer. So let's break this fucking massive brick that required me to mickey mouse my hard drive around with some EXTREME TEXT EDITING.
PINK AND ORANGE WERE NEVER SO BLINDING TOGETHER!
I love the first entry, by the way: "click here if you want to see what I'll tell Matt!" Wow you're such a tease! With a play up like that how can I not click that?
It's such a nothing post I'm left with nothing else to say about it.

He's overweight and I guess I just want someone smaller than me or same size.. I'm about to cry because I've known about his size for a long time and I coudn't possibly tell him that's the reason I don't want to be with him.. Am I being shallow world!!!???? Please tell me...

Yes and also a hypocrite because later you say you yourself are on a diet and are overweight, so good job you shallow, hypocritical cunt!

I'm just giving up a few things so that I can pay for rent like not getting my hair and nails done.. NOOOOOOOO.. Ok. i'm good. Just needed to get that out. Right now I have my hair in a cute donut bun.

Thanks for that. Cute bun, guys. Also you would have your hair styled like a delicious fatty food, wouldn't you?

I'm going to start posting pics up to make my journal more fun for me to read lol and my other LJ friend.. I'm a visual person I like to see pics.

Well you're certainly not a text person because you suck at typing coherent thoughts with proper punctuation.

I bought an ESHAKTI dress and I like it/hate it.. I only hate it because of my weight, but I am currently going to lose that weight.

GOING to lose weight, people. I love her conviction before she even drops a pound. I guess thinking about doing something feels as good as actually doing it.

My mom has me forever terrified to wear sleeveless anything. I'm afraid to wear tank-tops or sleveless dresses because I think my arms are fat. Granted, they're not the smallest thing on the block, but I feel like if other woman bigger than me can do it. Why can't I?

Because your mom is smart and knows how to hide her shame but you feel vindicated in doing something just because other people do it?
(brotip: just because other people do something does not make it right or a good idea).

Which is cute, shows he has a little loyalty to his little girl toy that he's trying to get with.

Jealous and shallow. I can't imagine why no one wants to date you, what with your winning personality and looks. You're the complete package!

Sooo, I stopped acting cute, and start getting down and dirty with him.. Joke for joke, wise ass for wise ass comments... Remember those racist comments he would sometimes make..yep, I made them back and I (what he would call) busted his balls!!!

Ha, ha you tried to run with a troll and got obliterated. Good work, come back when your kung fu is stronger.

I guess I was being mean, but you know I don't care. I know that I'm sweet and that I'm a darling.

>mean
>sweet
errr, what?

Anyways.. I answered like two more CL posts and one guy wrote me back saying "Are you cute? Any pics?" ummm why would I be contacting you if I thought I was dreadfully ugly.. Would I tell you that on the spot JERK!!! Anyway i wrote back NVM. I cannot stand ppl who go strictly off looks..not fair at all..

Seems fair to me. You're trying to hook up with people on the internet. They have literally nothing to go off of. I guess if you're going to be a shallow twat you might as well be an attractive shallow twat.

Next weekend, I'm supposed to be hanging out with my ex-boy..hmmnn I'm actually looking forward to it..not because of him..but just to get away...is that mean??

No?

but I'm sure I went over my points when I ate my ranch fully loaded taco salad from Taco Bell.

Ha, ha, no I'm guessing that's perfectly healthy. Probably 0 points.

Anywho,

That's pretty much it for today, OH YEEAH i"m going to start reading Twilight again.. can't wait to get absorbed back into the book.. Movie comes out in November and I want to go with some adoring fans..gotta find some first

Oh yeah and I"M DONE>..

OH YEAH ANOTHER GREAT ENTRY COMPLETED HIGH FIVE "SHANICE"!

So word to all alumnis from their colleges: DON'T GO USING UP YOUR FORMER SCHOOLS REHEARSAL HALLS, BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE..

Oh wow this is shocking. People who graduated no longer have access to services they're not paying for anymore!?!?

I'm sure my school will do that to because the minute one of our students graduate and come back they think they can just be all up in the plays and stuff.. I mean please.. Aren't you supposed to be on Broadway or something. Go make a life for yourself and stop trying to be in college productions lol

Here's what I always wonder about theater majors: if you were a good actor to start with wouldn't you already be in shows or something? What, if you're a good actor without a degree they just won't take you?

Ok, so I just posted something and it erased all.. so basically what I had originally said..

was that ::: aroaogfsoghsohjsaogjos i don't feel like typign that anymore im pissed

Wow, what? Cool meltdown.

Sooo, I am giving up fast-food as long as I can stand it and I am going to SUCCEED and not fail.

Yeah fuck this wishy-washy shit! You either succeed or you FAIL.

wow.. i have a major hot flsh and i don't know why lol haaa air..

What

Anyways, I didn't go to church yesterday and basically I was just tired of waking up so early every morning.. I didn't want to have an obligation for once.. my mom said that I will have to answer to God myself about not going to church.. I know I will..

Tell God to go fuck himself. It's your day off and you're going to sleep. SLEEP LIKE THE DEAD.

but hopefully he understands how tired I am.. and that I love him.. a lot.. it's just soo hard to try and juggle everything..hmpf..lame excuses I know.. but it is.. OHHH if it wasn't for Adam and Eve I wouldn't have to be explaining myself right now.. I will just live in peace and harmony.. but you know what how do we know that if Adam and Eve didn't eat the apples off the forbidden tree it could have been someone else.. and our lives will still be in peril and we would still sin.. I believe it was unavoidable..

I'm pretty sure the entire story is an allegory but all right sure I guess we're taking the stance that "the Bible literally happened as written and God created the Earth in 6 days 6000 years ago and rested on the seventh and it all happened regardless of contradictions".

Now there's a long post where she's butthurt about her best friend getting a boyfriend and then freely admits she ditched her friend for a boy in high school. Yes, it does, in fact, work both ways.
oh yeah he's a loser in my eyes..always wanted to hang out the little days that we did hang out..i mean "OH MY GOSH" what real man wants to hang out with his girlfriends bestfriend and her little sister...i mean come on...

I don't know if he isn't romantically involved with either it sounds rather noble to me to try and befriend his girlfriend's friends.
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW I'M NOT A JEALOUS CUNT.
Well, like the song "Radar Love" by Golden Earring, it's a half past four and I'm shiftin' gears.

Ugh

If there's one thing I love more than Japanese in my blog titles it's Latin. People with Japanese in their titles are douches, people with Latin in their titles are pretentious douches.
Here we are: Veritas: Exposed.
What does that mean? "Truth: Exposed" Veritas is the Roman goddess of truth, borrowed (kind of) from the Greek personification of truth Aletheia.
First entry "My life has done a total 180" which has always been kind of an odd turn of phrase to me. "Total 180"? As opposed to what, a partial 180? Wouldn't that be a range of degrees from 1-179? Well, whatever.

Within the last week, my life has completely turned around. I went from hardly speaking to my friends to having dinner and movie dates out the ass. I went from hating myself to being... well, okay.

So there you have it. The "total 180" of "hate" is "okay".

I went from thinking no one liked me, that no one could ever think about me romantically, to hearing (FROM A BOY) that I am lovely, that my conversation is much enjoyed and that someone looks forward to talking to me.

Ha, ha seeking validation through the approval of others. Methought I espied a fragile spirit in yon thicket of ye Internete.

I hope lovely's not too far a cry from "wonderful" or "beautiful".

"Lovely" means, of course, "lovable" whereas wonderful is quite literal: full of wonder, and beautiful is likewise self-explanatory. You don't need any of these things to be lovable, so I wouldn't press your luck.

I feel like writing about all the people I'm jealous of and why.

Oh boy I love envy. It's such an ugly emotion.

Nobody seems interested in actually listening to me when I want to talk about this (and for good reason) so I have to settle for writing it down here.

Ah, I see. Sort of a "hiding it in plain sight" tactic.

Aubrey Galusha - she has a boyfriend who deeply cares for her and who lets her be her own person; she works as a scientist for Corning Incorporated and makes more money per year than my mother; she has the ability to budget; she has expertly managed her time between school, work and all else; she succeeds at everything she does;

Covetous and envious. I'll just break this down into two categories: she coverts peoples' relationships and wealth and she is envious of any skill they have that she doesn't have.
I'd have a suggestion here but frankly this entire entry is so stupid I can't even think of what to say outside of "don't be a cunt".

I guess it comes from that long line of Americans I am descended from... you know, the ones in the 17th century who were slaves to the motherland England.

What? I'm going to assume you're talking about the Puritans (who were English). They weren't slaves. They just weren't welcome in England because of the touchy political climate and them being zealous, unlikable douche bags.

I love England and I really love America but damn it, I don't want to be engineered for servitude.

Ha, ha, what? What, did the English send their specially engineered slaves to be slaves to the Native Americans? Yeah, I seem to recall that chapter in American history. Worked out for the Indians to be sure.

No matter how shitty a day/night I seem to have, work always fixes it. Bizarre. I hate servitude and yet it makes me happy.

"The loyal slave learns to love the lash" as they say.

Is this just more proof that I hate being happy and therefore, by implication, love being miserable?

Logical fallacy. Hatred of happiness is not implicit desire for misery.

(I should say manfriend as I don't think a quintegenarian qualifies for the term 'boy' and hasn't for at least three decades).

>Quintegenarian
The word you were looking for is "quinquagenarian" you pretentious prick.
A person between the ages of 50 and 59. Personally I'd just say "someone in their fifties" but then again I don't like to show off my ENORMOUS VOCAB (that's no existent in your case, way to be pretentious and wrong in the same sentence).

but I'm still so incredibly worried that I am going to essentially wander around alone... if not in physical person than in mind and spirit, perhaps even heart.

Well I guess an outing of friends is all about you, huh?

Oh, and I have a heathenistic desire to talk and dance around an obscenely large fire...

Hedonistic, you mean? The idea you seem to be trying to describe (trying being the operative word) is, indeed, "heathen" in which case... The word is heathen.

I'm restless and an idiot. My best friend just told me she's going to Massachusetts next weekend to see Plymouth Rock and Salem and other stuff with her boyfriend. And I'm jealous. Really jealous. Extremely jealous.

No, stop! You, jealous?

Am I damaged? Am I inherently evil? Or am I just plain stupid?

Since we seem to be referencing the Puritans a lot I'll use them as a point of reference: they'd argue all people are inherently evil, but personally I think you're just extremely selfish and stupid. Worse, in many ways, than plain evil.

I find it ridiculous that I'm only 20 and I'm trying to make myself be an adult. I am barely out of my teens! I should be running off with my friends to God-knows-where in the middle of the night and drinking myself silly around a bonfire all summer! I shouldn't have to commit myself to a job, a rent payment, a phone bill, an electric deposit, an adult life just yet.

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

I should get a few more years to raise hell and do what I want. Instead... I'm offering myself up to the Gods of Adulthood.

Gods of Adulthood, hrm. Who might they be?

I shouldn't be sitting around like an old spinster, relying solely on work and school to give me some semblance of a life.

So, what, you get trashed every weekend and suck some dicks in the back seat of some Honda Civic and those are the good memories?

I should be young and fast and hot and heavy and random and adventurous.

The transgressions of youth become the regrets of adulthood or something.

I should be partying in Dublin or dining in London, like I was three months ago.

Uh-huh.

People fucking suck. They're arrogant and ignorant and they never once bother to stop and ask how I am today, if I'm feeling all right, if I want to talk, if I'm sure.

Ohhhh maybe they're thinking the same thing about you. Ever think of that?
Also I'm getting the creeps now, I'm sure I've read this exact sentence before in another blog. Am I somehow reviewing the same blog again?

I just want to say that I would rather die of gangrene than get one of my limbs amputated.

'kay.

It really bothers me that I've so broken the mold as to what a girl, a woman, should be that no one would have the slightest interest in getting to know me, or eventually daring to love me.

Oh boy, so many things wrong with this thinking. Where to begin? First, just because you perceive yourself as being different does not mean you actually are. Second, just because you're different from the "woman" mold (not even getting into that logical mess) what makes you a likable person? From what I've seen you're wholly unlikable, and any alterations you've made to the stereotypical "woman" pattern (pretending something like this exists, or even makes sense) are generally for the worse.
In fact, if I had on my cynical face (and I do, as it never comes off) I'd say anything stereotypically bad about women is, in fact, exactly what you embody: you're petty, covetous, emotionally clingy and prone to hysteria.
Further, just because you're special doesn't mean you're useful.

I put myself in the friend zone and I don't know how to stop doing that.

Fuck isn't that what loser guys whine about all the time? Getting friend zoned? Guys don't have a friend zone, honey. And yeah I just called you honey because it's demeaning go get fucked.

They expect us to keep our heads down, our mouths shut and to not complain... ever.

Sounds like sensible management to me. You're being paid to work, not to fraternize.

I don't know... maybe I should feel bad about myself.

Finally something sensible from this blog. On this victorious note I'm going to do something else.

Oh My

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I feel like I've run as far away as I can from who I am.

Metaphorically, presumably, since running from yourself is, of course, impossible.

I have completely changed my body, my lifestyle, my profession, my social and sexual habits... I am just a piece of who I am.

Uhh... I'm going to assume she means "a piece of who she was" otherwise that makes even less sense than I expected. How can you be more than you are? That doesn't even make sense. What, are you like Alpharius from Warhammer? One soul in two bodies?

I am something new and confusing.

SOMETHING SPECIAL AND UNIQUE, AND ALSO A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER--

I look back into my past, and I miss what I had and who I carried myself as. I was as open and vulnerable as a beautiful new flower, fully bloomed.

Fuck I was making fun of you, but you're serious.

Now I am a cactus. Can I go back? Would I really want to? Or did I get to this point as a defense mechanism?

Not sure where this is going now. Maybe it's time to drop the analogy and talk in more literal terms?

I wish I was prettier now. I wish I had more followers.

What, are you a cult now? By "followers" do you mean "friends"? If that's the case I think I see why everyone hates you.

I don't know that anything specific is wrong; I just think I deserve better than what I get right now.

Ha, ha, oh you. You "deserve" nothing. You get what you earn. Sometimes it's less than you expect, but your expectations and reality often are separate.

I work really hard at everything I do: my job, my chores, my appearance.

So do a lot of people. What's your point?

I am winning in so many ways, but this relationship is totally stagnant right now. It hurts and makes me feel so heavy sometimes. The feeling of unwantedness is like a heavy anchor, yanking me out of the clouds and into an abyss of loneliness and self-doubt.

Christ, could you be any more melodramatic?

My memories feel as dangerous and taboo as thinking about sex at work.

Uhhhhhhh, what?

I dare not tread on the images and haunting voices in my dreams.

What, are your dreams Promyvion from Final Fantasy XI? (hi references only I get)

I don't feel like complaining.

So... I guess the last paragraph and a half were something you didn't want to do, huh?

I need to get in touch with the spiritual side of myself again. I need to find my soul.

What is a soul, exactly? Define it. Is it your memories? Your emotions? Both? The essence of who "you" are? In which case it would be inseparable from your body, since your body and brain chemistry control all of these things.
You're silly for thinking there's a separate "essence" that has thus far remained undetected.
You're you. You're always you. You can never stop being you. If you've changed, then that's you changing. Somewhere along the line you wanted, or needed (or thought you needed) to change. That's it.
And aren't you glad? What if you were someone else? Yeah, it might be better, but it also might be a lot worse.

I feel a black hole inside me that is killing me from the inside.

No if you had a block hole inside you that'd be the end. You would be dead.

Atheism is devastating. I am not strong enough to live without a belief in something, even if only my personal strength and ability to change the world.

Err atheists can still believe in their own personal strength, or in the ability of society to perform, or even faith in (oh God) humanity. Atheism is just the rejection of supernatural beings, spirits, etc. No, lack of faith in anything at all would be cynicism.

Everyone was too chickenshit or self-absorbed to even ask if I was ok.

Ha, ha, ha, oh you. Classic case of "pot calling kettle black" I think.

I wish someone had just helped me. I wish someone had tried to find out what happened. I wish someone had tried to make me talk about it.

No, fuck you. Help yourself. The world isn't here to make *you* feel better every time you fall down and scrape your knee.
What is this bullshit? OH ALL MY DREAMS DIDN'T COME TRUE EVERYONE CHEER ME UP!

Here I am four or five years later, still singing the same song. How ugly! How black this world is to step on my flower buds.

Again, the world didn't step on your flower buds (whatever that means) the world doesn't even know you. Something unfortunate happened. You can either make it better on your own accord, or try to, or do what you're doing: being a total fucking cunt about it.
Given how this delightful journey has gone so far, I'm guessing it's all bitching from here on.

Buddhists believe that life is suffering. It is. But Buddhists also train to meditate on all emotions, especially suffering, to convert it into positive emotions like joy.

Actually Buddhism teaches we only know good feelings in relation to bad ones, so in a way, as you said, "all life is suffering" but the goal isn't to "convert" bad ones into good ones, the point is to transcend all emotions.

I've been struggling with this load for several years.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No end to my suffering cycle in sight. *sigh*

Actually Buddhism, like all religions, is a search for the truth and not just an escapist mechanism to end transient bad feelings, but whatever. Also many Buddhists devote themselves to meditation and contemplation and self denial. Not only that, but they do a lot of charity work and shit like that.
Self denial and thinking about someone other than yourself, I suspect, is something you're very unfamiliar with.

The Best Times you fucked me were by surprise. I can still remember feeling your pants around your ankles as you bent me over in my kitchen so many years ago.

Oh good grief.

The diamond-like stars in the sky drop wishes to Earth every day.

As opposed to the diamond-like stars in the Earth that fly wishes into the sky every day. Also isn't this a line from Mario RPG?

This week I broke my vow to leave you alone forever when I found you online.

A man is only as good as his word (a woman, her word, whatever). Scum.

I had this dream in August 2004, right before we broke up. I had a dream that I was in my "warm place" in the wedding dress I picked out. I was barefoot, and I saw the remains of a fire. I approached the charred wood and noticed a branch warped like a pretzel. I picked it up carefully.

I'm starving. I wonder if there are any soft pretzels about.
Oh, right, sorry. DO CONTINUE.

It was an infinity symbol. The ashes dirtied my lily white feet. Only a month later I called the wedding off.

The infinity symbol. A symbol of power. Earthly power, typically. That's why it's frequently depicted above The Magician's head in Tarot.

If it's not a spell, then something else paranormal is going on.

I think the clinical term is "stone cold fuck nuts".

But who cared? Who honestly gave a shit?

No one. Wait, no one does care.
Why am I still here posting about this?
I'm going to go get a delicious pretzel or something now.