Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Struggle

Holy God Diablo III fanfiction.
This is one post but we're doing it and then I'll do another blog because holy shit.
Character Info ››
Name: Malthael
Canon: Diablo 3
Age: Many thousands of years
Appearance: Faceless, glowing wings, likes to dress in black and white
Canon Point: Just after the Nephalem enters the Pandemonium Fortress
"Likes to dress in black and white"
like oh hey Malthael, Archangel of Death, Reaper of Souls, what are you going to wear today
I dunno man how about some black and white robes?
 Personality: By the time Malthael starts to exterminate humanity to bring about an end to the Eternal Conflict, He has become a cold, heartless, ruthless being. The only hint of his old self is when he spares Tyrael, as even though Tyrael is mortal, he lacks the demonic taint present in all humanity. He sees anything demonic as worthy of being destroyed, and this includes all humanity in his canon (encountering non-demonic humans will be a very troubling issue for him in the game).
... "encountering non-demonic humans will be a very troubling issue for him"
"he spares Tyrael because he's a non-tainted human"
WOW IT'S LIKE THE INCREDIBLY THIN, CLICHE PLOT TO DIABLO 3 WAS ALMOST TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE!
Here let me summarize this shit so you can get a non-retard summary of this literary tour-de-force on par with Herman Hesse's Siddhartha:
In the grim darkness of not-earth Satan and his asshole brothers decide to terrorize not-earth because--
uhh--
and anyway there are angels but they're non-denomination angels with no God.
This shit isn't Christianity, okay?
But the angels are almost as bad as the devils so humans are doubly fucked.
Also humans are the spawn of angels fucking devils.
Shut the fuck up. Someone was paid to write this and you're going to goddamn listen to it.
So a ton of stupid shit happens and then we come to the world stone which is like a magic stone that's somehow important to keeping reality stable but if you fuck with it enough you can also alter reality.
Malthael, who used to be the angel of wisdom, became the angel of death. His solution to defeating the demons (as angels and demons hate each other, natch) and therefore ending the Eternal War is to kill all humanity by stealing the world stone and then sucking out all the demonic essence in the world, thereby exterminating humanity because, as we said, they're half demons.
This will make Malthael all-powerful and then he can kill all demons and rule over a realm of death.
It's a solution, anyway.
But luckily your character in Diablo 3 is the Nephalem which is like a super powerful human throwback to when angels and demons first started boning.
This plot is fucking stupid why am I even wasting my time trying to summarize it?
Malthael is effective as a villain and Reaper of Souls does have some excellent art direction but the plot is fucking stupid and also gay.
He enjoys taunting the Nephalem about the futility of their quest, and enjoys every death brought about by his army: Each death makes him stronger and brings that much closer the end of the Eternal Conflict, something Malthael has always been denied in the past. In a way, it could serve to soothe a wound and ease the trouble in his mind that began when the Worldstone was first lost. At the point from which I am taking Malthael he will be full of wrath and fury at being torn away from Pandemonium when his victory is so close at hand.
You keep saying "enjoys" and "likes" like this thing can possibly have emotions outside of fucking murder.
While Malthael was once capable of working alongside others, accepting their right to bring their opinions forth as part of the Angiris Council, he no longer views any as his equals (Imperious' temper causes them to lose their chance to capture Diablo, and looking back at all those failures does not help his opinion and view of his fellow Angels). Angels are probably the only beings he would not kill for getting in his way, and then only if sparing them would not (in his mind, and he doesn't have the best judgment on this matter because he considers himself unstoppable) cause further trouble.
He used to be the angel of wisdom, idiot.
Then he became disillusioned with what he saw as the angel of wisdom--
what the fuck is it with fanfiction?
It's like every five minutes there's a new monument to insanity ready to horrify me right to my fucking core.
 You're writing a fanfiction/roleplay about a series that can be summarized with "click on skeletons so you can get loot to more effectively click on skeletons"
He'll accept those working towards the same cause he is, but isn't going to listen to any dissenting voices once he's decided on a course of action, even if that course of action is ultimately going to be self-destructive.
... Which explains why the other angels, who have proposed the destruction of humanity before, side with him.
OH WAIT NO THEY SIDE WITH YOU BECAUSE HIS PLAN IS CRAZIER THAN WHAT THE ANGELS USUALLY DO.
Malthael's only allies in this war are his own underlings, who, understandably, are corrupted like him by him becoming the archangel of death.
This seriously is a simple, simple black and white morality kinda plot. How are you this shitty at characterizing death?
He fucking kills people.
That's the end of his characterization.
This is not a dynamic character.
Malthael was once a beautiful and wonderful being who cherished all life, but continual failures led him down the path that ended in Death. The Nephalem destroying the Prime Evil, a feat that the Angels had been unable to accomplish for thousands of years, was simply the final unbearable proof that he'd been inadequate as Wisdom.

Malthael has a lot of anger he doesn't acknowledge, at himself, the Angiris council, humanity in general and the Nephalem in particular. 
Or to summarize this succinctly: Malthael is disillusioned so he becomes archangel of death and Tyrael becomes the archangel of wisdom to fill in the spot.
Come on people, fuck.
The main angels summarize concepts as complicated and not-cliched as hope, wisdom, fate, death and valor.
Clearly we need fanfiction about this.
Somehow fate and death aren't buddies, either.
I'll leave it to the reader to decide how much sense that makes.
Instead he lives in denial, rationalizing that as Death, he is in a better position to combat the remaining demonic threat than he could when he was the Aspect of Wisdom; Likewise, the Angiris council is flawed, and the only Angels Malthael accepts are those who agree to serve him obediently. And obviously humanity and the Nephalem are abominations, since nothing good could possibly rival the power of an Archangel.
He's not wrong.
The Angels have proven incredibly inept at fighting demons and his plan, while extreme, would have worked.
So is he in denial?
He's just a man with a plan, really.
Also the main problem with the angels, as I see it, is them trusting Imperius.
Despite his name being Imperius and him being the archangel of valor he's also a total puss.
Again, expert writing.
There was a time when Malthael rarely spoke, but he has become considerably more talkative (in comparison) than he was before the Worldstone went missing. 
>more talkative than when the Worldstone went missing
>the story states he disappeared after the Worldstone disappeared
yeah no that's true.
Hard to be less talkative than being totally absent.
He's still not the most talkative being, but he does enjoy taunting his foes. As Malthael has no face in his normal form, emotion and feeling are usually communicated through body language, and in particular, the movement of his wings (which now take the form of skeletal wisps of pale light rather than the luminous purple they once were)
>body language
>spends 90% of the expansion folded up like a mummy
No, cool. You're making the actual plot to Diablo 3 seem competent.
Abilities/Powers/Skills: Malthael is the Aspect of Death. In Diablo 3 that made him invulnerable to everything except Death. The only way the Nephalem could defeat him was to also take on the aspect of Death. That wouldn't really work so well in a game, so this will be nerfed so that he can be hurt by anything (he is not going to accept this so well), but only actually killed by another thing that is Death.
God that was so fucking dumb in the game.
"Only his own aspect can harm him!"
"How do you get that?"
"I dunno like eat a ghost or something"
AND INDEED YOU DO.
Being death, Malthael can create fog from his wings that causes living things to decay. He can also sense any amount of demonic essence in a soul, and rip souls from bodies (although that is more difficult the stronger his opponent is, and Malthael is unlikely to do it to anything that isn't demonic). Hearing his voice can cause dark and brooding thoughts and feelings in people.
Here just watch this and save yourself a ton of time with this garbage.
I'll give Blizzard some credit. This cinematic is, well, cinematic as fuck.
In fact if you're not paying attention you might actually think this is quality writing.
Weaknesses: Malthael has no particular kryptonite
I dunno he seemed to have a pretty big weakness to getting cornered and cheesed to death with frozen orb spam. Also after watching that can you believe some people had the audacity to claim the game was too bright?
Like sorry they had to use a color other than black. You won't find someone who is willing to criticize Blizzard faster than me but the art direction wasn't the issue.
Actually it was in a way. The classes are kind of uninteresting at times. Like you have this wacky high Gothic world and the best you can do is a wizard and a dude with an axe?
Like I got a cool idea for a character. A hot Egyptian kinda chick who's Diablo 3's equivalent to the druid.
She can turn into a crocodile, a jackal and like an eagle or something.
You can have that idea, Blizzard.
A lot of people are bitching the game needs a necromancer class but that's pretty much the witch doctor. Sorry you can't summon skellingtons. Guess you'll have to make due with exploding zombie bears you ungrateful whining losers.
Special Items: His armor and his two weapons are highly magical and incredibly durable/hard/sharp, but they have no special characteristics beyond that.
... He is the suit of armor, buddy. Remember when Tyrael pulled his pauldrons off and his wings went with it and it made him mortal?
I think it's safe to say angels are just embodied suits of armor.
Wow I spent the entire entry talking about Diablo 3.
Fuck me. Fuck fanfiction.
Song of the now. I've had this stuck in my head a while because I'm a homo.

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