The Gaze

Oh boy here it is--

This is a fully-public journal starring a 41-year-old American expat in Ireland. I'm polyamorous and a pagan atheist- a naturalist really.

Pagan atheist, what?
I know agnosticism runs rampant in Pagan circles but wouldn't a Pagan atheist just be someone who has read the Odyssey?
Also what the fuck is polyamorous?
Like I know what the word, broken down, means but what is it actually?

I have Asperger's syndrome (among other more-or-less invisible disabilities), a son with Asperger's and a daughter with autism. I'm currently fighting- and winning- a long (nearly lifelong) battle with severe refractory depression. 

Them hits keep rolling.
I just looked up polyamory and apparently it's someone who has multiple partners in an open relationship kinda thing--
Yeah, I believe it.
You have a harem.
Got it.
Loser.

BTW, if anyone wants to add me on Origin, my ID is lilirose72. I log in as invisible but I have Origin (and Steam, where I am lilirose_ie) running as long as my computer is on.

That's like the most feminine username ever.
What it is with you?

Okay, I am catching up on my reading list after all, because Origin didn't save my game installers to my data drive, even though I told it to, and so I am having to download Sims 3 

>Sims 3
>father of 2 children
>father
WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THIS BLOG?

I'm here on the old clunky laptop, for tonight, watching six million Windows updates because I haven't turned this machine on for months. 

Who the fuck updates windows?
What planet is this?
Is this the real life?

I don't think I will set it up tomorrow because I plan to do a million things to work out precisely what's wrong with my PC.

After reading the entry it sounds like a RAM issue.
What kind of FAGGOT has a computer issue today?
Especially monitors breaking.
Ha ha am I right?
AM I RIGHT OR WHAT?
;_;

What is your first memory?

I have no idea how old I was, but I wasn't two yet. 

No one has memories from then fuck off.

I guess a lot people have joked about "manflu", which is when a man is slightly ill and lays in bed moaning about how they feel like they're dying, etc.

Well, I'm not a man, but I get manflu.

Ohhh not actually a father.
Ha, ha you sure fooled me with this entry.
I read "manflu" and I said "holy shit this is a dude."
Should have kept reading--
And paid attention to all the signs that pretty much pointed to it being a woman--
but in my defense how many times has that not been a clear indicator?
More often than not.
It's gotten to the point where the most logical thing to do is assume the opposite of whatever the clearest choice is.

What's your favourite quote?

Eeek, this one is so hard- there are so many I love. But I guess the one I keep coming back to is the Litany Against Fear from the Bene Gesset in the Dune series:

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

You're not allowed to have a cool favorite quote.
After all that other shit I have deemed it.

I have a feeling I'm about to get into an oddly polite battle with S.'s teacher over reading material.

S., who once had a very severe language delay (which is now mild instead of "severe") has had some problems with reading comprehension. Especially when she's made to read things that she doesn't find interesting. She just tunes out, as any smart kid would do, and then can't answer questions about what she was forced to read, because her language skills aren't quite good enough to let her pretend that she was paying attention.

Welcome to life I guess.
Fuck blogging.