Youuuu're a cheeky kunt m8

Christo Dei what the fuck is happening to this blog
First look at that fucking layout
Jesus Christ were you taking HTML lessons in 1996 or what?
Next it's friends only.
Even though it quite clearly isn't friends only (typical)
also GOTTA KEEP AGREEING THAT I AM 18.

So last night I made a trek to Mallwart to get my mom a Mother's Day goodie (which I have to exchange being that it's the wrong size; even so, she was happy that I'd tried, lol), and while browsing around, I decided that I wanted a fish again.

Enter Ban-chan the crowntail betta fish.

HOLY SHIT
GOOD THING YOU WARNED ME
THIS IS LURID
Listen to me you stupid cunt
I average 1000 page views a month and no one has reported me yet.
Do you see "gotta be 18+ to view this shit"?
No you don't.
And I've called you a cunt twice in less than a page.

Yesterday I drove up to hang out with ayinsan, which is always good. We proceeded to gorge our way through Chili's and then drool over various shops in the area. I spent way more money than I probably should have, getting a couple of goodies for Ayinsan's mom and me (Yankee Candles: a dangerous place for me because OMG THOSE GIANT BLUEBERRY SCONE CANDLES!!) and then at the Greatest Used Bookstore Of All Time (which we ALWAYS hit because OMG THE SHEER SIZE OF THE PLACE!!). All told, I blew $60 combined on lunch, gifties and books (not counting the $40 of gas I had to put in the car so I could get up there and so my mom would have gas for the coming workweek), but OMG IT WAS SO WORTH IT. I so seldom get to do that and I enjoy hunting down goodies not just for myself but for others as well. (Ayinsan's mom was greatly delighted by the Godiva bar and vanilla hand lotion I presented her with.)

Unless this turns into some sort of story about lesbian sex involving candles I see no reason I HAD TO AGREE TWICE I WAS OF AGE TO BE READING THIS.

Bonus: at one point while I was browsing in said Greatest Used Bookstore, I ran across a guy who I didn't pay much notice to at first, till he started talking to me while I was eyeballing the erotica section (and wondering how I could get to those books without it seeming like I was a big 'ol perv). Turns out HE was browsing the erotica section himself, although as he explained it, it was more for research purposes (seriously: he's a writer).

Oh yeah I've used that excuse before.
All this Asian porno?
Totally research.
Complex character motivations.
You wouldn't understand.
And uhhh, hello, do you think all these waifus in video games make themselves?
I use references you ignorant plebeians.

He's ten years younger than me. Fairly handsome too, and a real yen for culture. His pet project is creating a serious screenplay adaptation of a Dracula story (hence the research into erotica) that goes beyond the Bram Stoker or other adaptations that are thus far out there. Vampires ain't my thing, obviously, but if anybody can come up with a good shot at it, I'd bet on this fellow. It was neat to listen to him talk about it, in more ways than one - he was uncannily like me in a lot of his mannerisms and the way he spoke, inflections and sound. He even wears glasses (all us great evil geniuses do).

Textbook pickup.
Match her mannerisms and her primitive brain thinks you have chemistry.
Also
good Christ you need to read erotica to write a vampire screenplay?
Are you actually making a vampire porno or what's going on here?
Also speaking of lurid I've been reading this EVE Online book called The Empyrean Age and it's surprisingly and disturbingly pornographic in places.
Tony Gonzales, author extraordinaire, totally wants to be dominated by really fit women.
I could have done without a paragraph description of Jamyl Sarum's fit frame, thank you.
Also this vaguely sexual digression occurs right after she just casually chokes two of her own protectors to death.
Why does she have protectors when she can lift two grown men in armor off the ground and then kill them?
Who the fuck outside of a space marine is stopping that beast?
Why would an empress need that level of physical strength?
Like I'll give him that she cloned herself--
even though Amarr society explicitly states nobles can't clone and to do so is abomination--
but why reincarnate into a bitch with a body for running track?
Like it's well understood this cloning technology exists and people are kind of fearful of it and stuff
then you have people that are especially backwards and superstitious and tell you not to do this thing if you want to rule them
so you do it and make it pretty clear that's exactly what you did.
I'm not saying that's kind of an irrational thing to do since I'm actually following with the plot thread here and I wouldn't call it stupid exactly--
Really, Tony Gonzales' clear desire to be physically and emotionally dominated by women aside it's a pretty passable book.
It's a little heavy on the exposition but I'll forgive him for that too since it's supposed to be the prequel to EVE Online the video game so I'm not really sure what he could have done because he has to establish how 4 galactic empires got the way they are in less than 700 pages.
I just wish he cut the Amarr plots.
And the Gallente plot.
And the Minmatar plot.
Really he's only interesting when he's talking about the Caldari and their insane Nazi rallies.
Also he's pretty decent talking about how awesome capsuleers are and how much normal people fear them as demigods.
And he capitalizes on this imagery and language by having exactly two capsuleers in his book.
One is crippled and doesn't know who he is due to a cloning accident and the other interacts with no other characters except the creepy dominatrix empress.
Great.
I give it a 4/10
but a fond 4/10 if such a thing is possible.
Oh also the creepy dominatrix empress can read peoples' minds somehow.
Tony Gonzales what the fuck man

I ended up giving him my email, which seemed to please him. Don't know if he'll actually use it, but if nothing else, he was certainly entertaining for the day. So, yay for meeting cool new people at bookstores. :)

Oh right, blogs.
I'm still reading the other two books in the EVE Online franchise, though. It hasn't deterred me.

 Not a bad weekend, though I was disappointed by the community garage sales. Not very many, and not a lot of good stuff. I scored a few cheap books (most of which I will 'recycle' by trading in at a paperback shop where Ayinsan lives, since I didn't like them after reading a bit) and one small blue glass jar, but that was it. Ah well.

Also the characters are poorly developed and the dialogue is really stilted in places.
I know I started this book review/blog update by saying it's decent and I've had it on blast the entire time but I really am kind of fond of it so far.

Ayinsan's significant other has earned Hero Status for his recent act of amusement: when they were at a shop one day, he spotted an obnoxious right-wing bumper sticker. So he wrote a snarky little note that said to the effect of "Hi, I'm a gay rabid socialist heathen and I wanna marry you, sexy!", drew little hearts all over it and stuck it under the car's windshield wiper. Good role models, I has them. XD

XD YOU GO GUUUUUUURL
fuck I hate people.

What is the sound of brain cells dying?

Playing Final Fantasy 13 I think.

It's the sound they made last night when I picked up 50 Shades of Suck: 50 Shades Suckier again and attempted to wade through more of its muck. X_x Seriously, I don't know if I can finish this book, the crap just gets worse with every page...

I'm pleased the 50 Shades of Grey thing seems to be dying down at last.
Amazingly no one wrote fanfiction about it.
I guess a book that is literally bondage porno is hard to make more pornographic so all the fanfiction fairies are set.

There is just shit for jobs in this crappy county. LaSalle County is one of the shittiest counties in the state of Illinois, which is itself in deep shit for various reasons. Long ago I came to the realization that nobody wants my worthless ass: I have no skills. No education (was never able to finish community college thanks to that goddamn math). And I'm just too tired and too sick of jumping through retail hoops anymore (not that that's stopped me from applying at a couple of places, Mallwart included, which is like working one step below Satan's bathroom but hell... But you know it's bad when even *Mallwart* doesn't want you).

Even I managed basic math in college.
That's really saying something when I can claim more math skills than you.
Anyway fuck the police.