If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems
and this bitch is one.

So I just reread The Great Gatsby for the first time since my grade 11 English class, lo these many years ago. I utterly hated it at that time.

My opinion now: well, I can see its virtues. On a word-by-word and sentence-by-sentence level the writing is rather good.

I hated it in high school too.
One of my favorites now.

And the whole thing is very evocative of time and place and mood. But wow, I still hate every single character in this book! And am completely unsympathetic with their problems! 

Nick is sympathetic enough, really.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he's supposed to be the everyman of the story, so--
as for the other characters being douches: THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.

I guess my problem here is that I am really really really not into that particular genre of "literary fiction" that is all about horrible people being miserable. It is a celebrated genre and many people are into it and there are lots and lots of books in it published every year but I am NOT THERE. (see also: why I hated Lev Grossman's "The Magicians" so much, because it was written in the patterns of that genre despite being also a fantasy novel. NO GET YOUR LITERARY MISERY OUT OF MY SFF PLSKTHX)

So I think the highest praise I can give The Great Gatsby is that it is a really excellent example of horrible-people-being-miserable literary fiction? Because it is! BUT I STILL HATE IT.

NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE TO "SHIP"
NO STARS.
Gatsby and Daisy are my OTP
She has an annoying writing habit you might have picked up on.
If you haven't you will shortly.

So I finished reading A Conspiracy of Kings by Megan Whalen Turner on Friday night and haven't posted about it yet because I keep on NOT BEING SURE WHAT TO SAY.

So here's the thing, I read The Thief and was like, pretty good book, but nothing special. And then I read The Queen of Attolia and I was like REALLY EXCELLENT BOOK minus a couple quibbles, and then I read The King of Attolia and I was like PERFECT BOOK????? 

Somehow I can hear how you can't modulate your voice through the internet.
Also am I the only person on the internet (apparently) that considers a book a major investment of time and attention so I don't just give it freely?
I choose my books carefully.
I know that's coming off the last entry where I admitted to reading a book about EVE Online but I thought that might be good on a personal level.
Maybe offer philosophical insight or something.
At minimum how to be a better space pirate.

Thing One: Used bookstores are so dangerous. I now own four more Rosemary Sutcliff novels than I used to, which means that my collection of Rosemary Sutcliff novels is now 500% larger than it used to be.....

You bought 4 books and your collection is 5 times bigger.
So you owned a fraction of a book, what?

Thing Two: The used bookstore I was in had a copy of Catullus's poetry. I was like "ooh Catullus, I should own that!" But then I was like "BUT TRANSLATORS MATTER" because I was recently betrayed by a translater (THANKS EDWIN GILE RICH AND YOUR DEQUEERIFYING OF VIDOCQ'S MEMOIRS) so I thought I'd better check its quality first. My method: flip to Catullus 16 and see how the first line was translated, because that will tell you a lot about the translator. The translation in the bookstore went this route: NOT EVEN ATTEMPTING TO TRANSLATE the words "pedicabo" and "irrumabo" 

Is that the poem that starts out "I will sodomize you and face fuck you"?
yes it is.
Catallus truly is the greatest poet of all time.
You're supposed to be deeply offended by him, though, snowflake.
Also I just noticed the dominant color scheme of this blog is yellow and blue.
Thank you, website design by preschool teachers.

Today I attempted to art.

I am so bad at arting. The entire extent of my art experience is “lalala let me doodle absentmindedly in the margins of my university class notes while not paying attention to class and then get distracted before I even get anywhere with my doodle” and that was years ago. I do not know what I’m doing! AT ALL!

Bad at fucking writing too you dumb cunt

Soooo I accidentally meta'd on tumblr about Courfeyrac and Tholomyes in response to someone else's reblog of someone else's gif, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS ON TUMBLR.

Faggot Aurelius and bottom man Furius.

... Those are two frequent targets of Catallus' poems.

They are usually addressed as such.

Anyway I have no fucking clue what you just typed but I think you should feel ashamed for it.

I mean I'm sure I have conversations in EVE Online that are that impenetrable but I keep them to myself.

I don't go LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY META 4 LASERS ON MY NAVY APOCALYPSE OKAY.

30% CLONE COST DECREASE IN ODYSSEY DID YOU PEOPLE SEE THAT SHIT?

Although I am spending money like it's going out of style in that game.

I bought

200 million in blueprint copies

75 million for the skill capital ship construction

I'm making a fucking freighter.

Gonna train the other bitch (I have two bitches in that game. Two) for the new freighter skill changes in June and then I'll be flying around with over 580,000 cubic meters of storage space.

I don't know what that is in real measurements.
It's a lot of fucking space.

GODDAMNIT so apparently my brain has decided that Skyfall is my next new fandom. I AM SO FICKLE.

Only, OF COURSE, my brain has also decided that I do not ship anything at all and that what I really really want lots of is gen fic about these people being excellent at their jobs and terrible at their (platonic!) feelings. I have found a bit of this (and what I have found has been glorious!) but there is TRAGICALLY NOT ENOUGH. Sighhhhhh. I am reading shipfic where they are excellent at their jobs and terrible at their romantic/sexual feelings as a sop, but it is not what my soul is truly yearning for.

MY LIFE. IT IS SO HARD.

I tried five times to read this.

I couldn't fucking do it.

Someone make a recording of you reading this so I can know how much I need to hate this cunt.

If you can read it like she'd undoubtedly say it I'd really appreciate it.

 I saw a university student production of Macbeth last night with Essie. It was really interesting! Especially the decision to have Macbeth played by a woman. See, this is a play that is REALLY REALLY INTERESTED in gender roles: Lady Macbeth is as unwomanly as you can get, and DELIBERATELY so (cf: her "unsex me" speech); while Macbeth is really really bad at being a manly man.

Oh shit you got him

Shakespeare wasn't too big on the gender equality thing.

A man living in the 1600s wasn't too progressive by 2013 standards.

You found one the one flaw in Shakespeare's work.

Good job. 

Fuck blogs I'm tired.