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POLITICAL VOICES OF

WOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

Why do I love reusable holiday gift bags? Let me count the ways:

I hated fucking bagging groceries.
Especially when the cunts would bring their bags from home.
Because they'd forget to hand them to me (or I wasn't paying attention fuck I don't know) so I'd have to take all their stupid organic groceries (if they had any produce I'd wonder why they bothered because none of that shit was shipped properly so it was touching non-organic crap as it was shipped only to have me wash it in the same pox water I'd been using) out of the bag, move them to the new bag (wrap the meat in a plastic bag anyway) then do all that.
It sucked and saved 0 bags.
Fuck grocery stores.
... This isn't even about reusable grocery bags.
Sorry, it felt related.

Three, reusable bags save trees, in the form of paper.

If we care so much about the environment--
maybe don't wrap your gifts at all?

As auto show season starts to ramp up, plan on taking a look at Ford Motor Co.'s 2013 Fusion when you tour the showroom floor. 

You guys remember The Animatrix?
That anime Matrix movie?
There was that awesome part that documents the fall of humanity to robot overlords and it started with the robot city that made cars?
Man that shit was fucking sweet.
Controversial opinion time: The Animatrix was the best part of The Matrix movies.
Mostly because the Wachowski (or however the fuck you spell it) brothers were only tangentially involved.
They are the whiter version of M. Night Shamylan (fucking names today, goddamn).

One thing that makes receiving my monthly EcoCentric Mom Box so much fun is that I never know what new, eco-friendly innovations it's going to contain. Pretty regularly, I find welcome non-toxic body lotions, face cleansers or cosmetics and organic taste treats inside. But there are always a few extra surprises included that introduce me to something I had no idea was available.

The levels of cunt are off the charts!
ECOCENTRIC MOM BOX
EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR MOM BOX.

Here’s why I love them, and why I hope you’ll support their new KickStarter campaign to raise $35,000 so they can bring you a line of eco, vegan, and woman-friendly shoes you’ll want to add to your wardrobe.

Fund my Kickstart that is stopping douchey Kickstarts like this.
Think about it: all the money you give me isn't going to cunts.

First, “Jane’s” shoes are fashionable and fun. They’ve been designed by hipsters who took a couple of years to create a collection that’s both practical and trend-setting. 

>designed by hipsters
seriously give me your money. I'll buy Farcry 3 with it or something.
I can guarantee no hipsters will get your money if you give it to me.
Farcry 3, a 3DS, Etrian Odyssey IV, Monster Hunter 4, Shin Megami Tensei 4, Persona 5--
vidya needs my money and I need your money to make this happen.
Keep your money out of the hands of hipsters and cunts.

Janes come in neutral shades for maximum wardrobe appeal – but the bright, bold insoles (with arch support) will make their own snazzy statement when you slip them off the next time you go through airport security. 

Great. Milquetoast is how this reads to me.
BOLD COLORS.
CYBERPUNK THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP.
Admittedly if you just Google image search "cyberpunk" the dominating color is gray followed by neon green but whatever.
Also Billy Idol is like half a page down and William Gibson isn't even on the front page--
I don't even know what to do with that info.

They can fold up flat into a sleek carrying case if you travel a lot, or want to keep a spare set in your purse so you have something stylish to slide into when you can’t stand to wear your heels another second. They’ll work as well with leggings or jeans as with skirts or capris. 

AM I SERIOUSLY GETTING A LECTURE ON HOW SHOES WORK?

But you know me. Style without substance just ain’t enough for those of us who care about people and the planet as well as products. 

That's kind of why I'm at odds with cyberpunk fashion. It's an era that hasn't happened yet and presumably people won't dress like that when it does so you're just dressing like a twat to be dressing like a twat.
Also most (normal) people won't consider cybernetic augmentation attractive so you're just being contrarian unless there's something actually wrong with you.

What sets I Know Jane apart from other shoes is that they are both eco-friendly and empower the women who make them. How? They’re animal-free: no leather or wool here.

... Because as we all know nothing keeps women down more than leather or wool.
... Keeping women down with leather.
Very Freudian.
Also can you think of a douchier name than "I Know Jane" for your shoe brand?
Fucking
Jesus Christ.
Why did I feel the need to qualify that with "for your shoe brand"? It's douchey no matter what product you're making, okay.

The upper is made from 70% recycled cotton and 30% PET that comes from recycled plastic bottles. The outsoles are biodegradable. Water-based glues are used in assembly to reduce use of conventional adhesives that contain more toxic chemicals.

So what I'm getting is these are shoes that won't hold up in the slightest.
The twist: company owned by a man.
You know they say the gods sometimes will bargain with you for powers. Clearly this man traded his nuts for business savvy.

That’s why, even if you don’t use Tide®, Emma needs your help. There are millions of people out there who have no idea that Tide is toxic, who are unknowingly washing their clothes in a product that contains a carcinogen.

Everything causes cancer. Fuck it.

What is 1,4-Dioxane?

I dunno but it sounds legit.

1,4-dioxane is classified as a probable carcinogen by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and a known carcinogen under Proposition 65 in California. 1,4-dioxane is sometimes found in products that create suds, like shampoo, liquid soap, and bubble bath. It is an expected contaminant when chemicals like sodium laureth sulfate, PEG compounds, and others are present.

California seems to claim everything causes cancer. I'll wait until a saner state makes its ruling.
Or Spain.
All the little bottles of paint I have from Spain have so many warnings on them I figure any country that produces that shit must have its act together.

I am Voting for Barack Obama because We are Greener than We were Four Years Ago.

That is genius.
He's not hurting industry, he's ensuring the environment is protected!
Those factories can't pollute if they're out of business, can they?
CHECKMATE, REPUBLICANS!

Are we “greener” than we were four years ago?

Yes, we are, and Barack Obama deserves a lot of the credit.

Nobel prize well deserved.
Did you know the other serious consideration for the Nobel Peace Prize the year Barack got his was a Polish woman who had her teeth kicked out by Nazis during a torture session where she refused to tell the location of Jews she'd been hiding?
But clearly a man who uses unmanned drones to kill insurgents in one of the most expensive wars in the history of humanity is deserving this award.

Eating Organic Produce Will Reduce Your Exposure to Toxic Chemicals

Not to commit libel here but not at Harris Teeter.

It can be terribly confusing to figure out what products are “green” and which ones are being “greenwashed” just so companies can make a buck on consumers’ desires to be more eco-friendly.

It is really confusing.
The easiest way to find out is when everything tastes like dirt.
That means you bought organic.

Gas prices have topped $4 a gallon in some states, and are inching higher and higher in many others. You're probably not surprised: if you're reading this blog, then you know that gasoline comes from oil, and oil is an unreliable source of fuel. Prices are volatile right now because the Middle East is so shaky, worldwide demand is rising, and some American refineries are not operating at full capacity.

Well if I were Caesar it'd be mostly solar by now but that's just me.
Where are my space elevators and Dyson spheres?
Cybernetic implants would be powered through biomechanics--
no more computers because that shit's in your head now--
Basically make me ruler of humanity is what I'm trying to say.

3. Drive less - Walk, bicycle, use a scooter or moped, combine trips, and telecommute.

Oh yeah, that one would go over huge.
Let me telecommute to the school.

7. Use mass transit and "Ride Share" programs - Why pay for gasoline at all?

Use mass transit to my current job which plants me smack dab in the middle of the hood--
Well, I guess I'd be doing my part for the environment by removing myself from it. Permanently.

3) Cell phones - Take to Best Buy, Staples, or Office Depot, or send to Collective Good, which will refurbish them, re-sell them, and share the profits with the charity of your choice.

So I give them my cell phone and my reward for this altruistic effort is they rub it in my face how much money they make selling my cellphone?
Frankly I'd rather throw it away.

Is China a beacon of the environmental future - or a reminder of its past? 

DARK FUTURE.

 Don't waste your money buying electric bug zappers or battery-powered insect traps. They don't actually prevent mosquitos from breeding, and they're pretty intrusive - who wants to sit on the porch on a nice summer night and hear "zzzz" every time a bug gets electrocuted?

Me.

This year, the number of people living on the earth will amount to 7,000,000,000. That's seven billion, more than at any other time in the history of human kind.

Clearly with this many people we can convince people not to reproduce.
At no point should colonizing space be a priority.

What does make sense, says Engelman, is to promote "population policies based on the right of all women to choose whether and when to bear a child" because those policies actually slow the growth of population.

In wealthy nations.
Seriously, declare me Caesar and the world's problems will rapidly diminish.

"Every country that offers easy access to contraceptive and safe abortion services also has a fertility rate of two children per woman or fewer, consistent with a declining population. More than two out of five pregnancies worldwide are unintended, suggesting that a world in which women everywhere were fully in control of their childbearing would soon reverse population growth. “Soon” would come even sooner if, at the same time, women’s standing relative to men surged—in education, health, economic well-being, legal protection and political participation."

Well there you have it.
Colonize space?
Waste of time.
We can totally convince people to go against their biological directives.
As Caesar I can offer a plan to set up at least 15 space colonies that will be permanent home to well over 100 million people each.
It won't be completed in our lifetime but we need an actual long term solution to this problem and this cunt's "give every woman birth control" isn't fucking cutting it.
You could pay people to not have babies and they'd somehow manage to fuck it up. The only solution is space.
Anyway I gotta go do something not this. Anyway I'm up to the start anyway so fuck everything.