That's the way it goes in the city of Compton, boy

I didn't want to do this but ONTD_Feminism was the first thing I saw today and, you know, one click later and I'm in crazyville again.
So I guess let's do part two.

According to a study conducted at the University of Westminster, stronger men make awful boyfriends. The study surveyed 327 straight British men, more than a third of whom were single, and discovered that the more muscular the participant, the more likely he was to have sexist beliefs and hostility toward women. Yikes! 

...
Because a study of 327 people is statistically significant, what?

The correlation between brawny men and sexist beliefs is rooted in traditional gender roles. "We think men who hold oppressive beliefs about women and gender equality are also more likely to endorse traditional stereotypes of masculinity, which includes the muscular physique," the study authors wrote. 

So if you work out you're an asshole...
I can't even begin to explain why this is nonsensical.
All right here's my new study: if you're a woman and you're skinny you're more likely to be a total bitch because clearly you hold your physical appearance over your mind.
Except, you know, that skinny chick who was really smart BUT NEVER MIND I ASKED LIKE 5 ENTIRE WOMEN SO IT'S A STUDY OKAY.

The researchers also claimed that in societies where patriarchal structures are being challenged, men may attempt to prove their masculinity by bettering their bodies.

How can you even begin to quantify sexism?
Is it a meter in an RPG? Can I grind my sexism skill?

Basically, men who are around women in power tend to feel threatened and display this through gaining muscle. 

... What?
Is the University of Westminster a fucking candy shop with a copy of the Times?
How is this a study?
How did they derive this conclusion?
How are these things correlated?
Is it exponential?
Like, if you're really muscular are you really sexist?

 Although the study was not conducted internationally and the number of men surveyed was rather low, on face, it does seem to hold true.

YOU JUST ADMITTED THIS STUDY ISN'T STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT AND--
God.
I talked to one woman yesterday.
She was a total cunt.
Therefore all women are cunts.
DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS BULLSHIT?

Consider the cast of Jersey Shore, for example. Though we can't deny their fabulous physiques, they're not exactly the kind of guys you want to bring home to mom (no, not even you, Vinny). So before you dismiss the next scrawny guy who approaches you, consider that science thinks he'd make a better boyfriend. 

Consider the pseudoscience that he'd make a better boyfriend.
And yet if I parade my theory that brown girls make superior girlfriends suddenly I'm racist and judging people based on superficial details.
Not at all like muscular men are assholes.
Also did the analogy for this study seriously include Jersey Shore?
I don't--
Is this real?
What did the comments have to say?

lol, I have met many a skinny/scrawny dude who has been sexist as hell, so this article is kind of pointless. Just think of nerd/geek culture and the sexist bullshit within it, for example. Those dudes don't necessarily work out, and yet they still say/think misogynistic things. 

I mean she's a fucking idiot but that's a completely valid point. Scrawny guys can be sexist, too, so what--
what?

If you're sourcing Jersey Shore... I feel like you're rendering your argument invalid, article. 

I mean I hate to side with Livejournal on this but really I think we've found some common ground here.
That's how bad this article is. I'm throwing my lot in with Livejournal.

eh all men are sexist to varying degrees so science isn't really telling me anything new there. it's always just been a degree between NeoLiberal covert douchery and the more traditional Aggressive Dude douchery.

Unlike women who are just the paragons of sunshine and equality.
Never mind, I'm taking my lot back.

Stop trying to "prove" what makes men sexist (with "science", hahahahaha... no) and just work on educating them. -_-

Don't worry. I wasted countless hours and dollars on that nonsense.

Sounds like a Nice Guy trying a new approach to convince us to go out with him, now with (feeble) statistics. Blech. 

See you've just admitted there's no reason to not be an asshole.
Fucking white women, I tell you.
If anyone out here is reading this let this be your warning.
If you insist on dating one of these soul stealing sea witches then I have done what I can.
I DON'T WANT TO DATE A SEXIST ASSHOLE BUT EWWW NICE GUYS xP
Nope.

Recently, I had an abortion, which I documented with a hidden mobile phone camera and then shared the images on the internet. I chronicled and published my experience on thisismyabortion.com to show what a safe abortion looks like,

Class?
What's that again?

Wow. Major props to this person for their courage. This is a wonderful project. 

Yeah.
Wonderful.

"What makes some of us uncomfortable with bisexual women? It is because we think they're either lesbians having straight sex or straight women testing out their fantasies on us before returning to men?

They're just trying to be unique snowflakes.

In today's post-modern, queer-focused world, bisexuality is being promoted to lesbians as the latest fashionable trend. This has resulted in lesbian politics, namely feminism, being passed over for sexual hedonism, where the only thing that matters is sexual pleasure and desire. Similarly, bisexuality is sold to heterosexual women as some type of recreational activity far from their "natural home" of straight sex. It is seen as "temporary lesbianism."

I suddenly remembered I don't care.
I remember one girl tried to impress me by claiming to be bisexual.
"Really? Ever had sex with a woman?"
"Well, no."
"Kissed a woman?"
"Well, no"
"So you just like them sometimes, right?'
"Well I think I could be if I found the right girl"
All right. I get it.
Liar.

Camille Paglia, the most famous "anti-lesbian lesbian," has written reams about how she worships the penis and cannot understand those of us who do not. In fact Paglia, like many lesbian tourists who sleep with women on the weekend and go back to hubby on Monday morning, thinks lesbian sex needs to be "spiced up" by the odd "het" shag:

Datingwhitewomen.txt

I’ve been thinking of a way to explain to straight white men how life works for them, without invoking the dreaded word “privilege,” to which they react like vampires being fed a garlic tart at high noon. 

Yeah, explain to me how my life works because I'm too stupid to understand it.
Cunt.

So, the challenge: how to get across the ideas bound up in the word “privilege,” in a way that your average straight white man will get, without freaking out about it?

Being a white guy who likes women, here’s how I would do it:

IS THIS COLTON?
COLTON FROM UNCG?
DON'T MAKE ME ACT A MOTHERFUCKING FOOL, COLTON.

Dudes. Imagine life here in the US — or indeed, pretty much anywhere in the Western world — is a massive role playing game, like World of Warcraft except appallingly mundane, where most quests involve the acquisition of money, cell phones and donuts, although not always at the same time. 

An MMO that's appallingly mundane--
so World of Warcraft.

Let’s call it The Real World. You have installed The Real World on your computer and are about to start playing, but first you go to the settings tab to bind your keys, fiddle with your defaults, and choose the difficulty setting for the game. Got it?

MMOs don't have difficulty settings.
Didn't I already read this analogy?

And maybe at this point you say, hey, I like a challenge, I want to change my difficulty setting! Well, here’s the thing: In The Real World, you don’t unlock any rewards or receive any benefit for playing on higher difficulty settings. The game is just harder, and potentially a lot less fun. 

So every Call of Duty ever?
BOOOOM.

I've actually tried explaining the concept of privilege to my boyfriend (straight white male), and he reacted more or less the same way to the word "privilege" that the author described. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea that being privileged doesn't make you an awful person so much that it means that you have SERIOUSLY massive advantages over those who aren't privileged.

Are you still whining at me?
Go do something with your time, girlfriend.

First comment on his post is a guy disagreeing and then bawwing about how everyone expects him to ~do something~ about stuff that isn't even his fault. *headdesks* It's maddening how blind people are, and how intent they are on clinging to the idea that Reasons x, y & z mean that this doesn't apply to them. 

The analogy is stupid because MMOs don't have difficulty levels.
If one class is overpowered it gets nerfed.
So you know how like white men are now the least employed group in the US?
Sort of exactly like that.
OH MY GOD I LIVE IN AN MMO
I AM AN MMO CHARACTER
WHO PLAYS MMOS
AND WHAT IF MY MMO CHARACTER PLAYS MMOS?

Please don't use ableist terminology like "blind" in place of "wilfully ignorant". 

Jesus Christ.

Hopefully the response to this is "shut the fuck up".

Oh, I'm sorry - thanks for pointing that out, I wasn't thinking when I wrote it. 

Oh.
Well.

I will be angry because I am crazy.

I will be angry because I am not crazy.

????
That's it I'M OUT LIKE SHOUT