Let's play guess the gender

I'm going to guess--
Let's hold off on that guess, actually.
I don't know what it is about bloggers that makes their gender so hard to determine. Maybe it's because everyone is a bisexual gender-confused anthropomorphic wolf trapped in a human's body.
Except me.

Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We're now starting the 'Lightning Round,' where it is just you, one quick question and three guesses. Winner gets a pat on the back and the loser gets a pat on the back for trying. The question is:

What did I just wake up to today?

A.) Earthquake
B.) War
C.) The sights and sounds of three little piglets getting neutered right before my very eyes.

You are so zany.

Okay, so I come home and sit down to a bowl of some steaming hot clam chowder. Mom starts talking about my sister, and then she happily mentions that she's got a boyfriend and I've got to send her some money to help out with some of her expenses over there in Korea--

WAITAF*CKINGSECOND! She's got a boyfriend!? Awesome. Now I'm very worried.

Censoring yourself on the internet.
Did I mention I had to agree I was 14 or older to view this?
Because I did.

No, not for her. For the GUY!! I already feel sorry for him! Hope he knows what kind of crazy he's getting into, because it will be a large, industrial-sized crate of 'Crazy.' But hey, if this Mr. I-Dunno-Whats-His-Name-Yet can handle my crazy sis, he can have her. Mom says that he's graduating with a degree in engineering, so that means we're going to be super billionaires in no time. HAHAHAAA!

I'm going to guess woman because-- it talks like a broad.
That's sound logic.
Remember that blog from the way long ago time where the person even posted a picture of themselves and I still couldn't tell?
I think it turned out to be a dude.

Okay, realistically we won't. But at least he'll make some decent money to support her. And with luck, she'll make enough money to support him as well. This man had better not turn her out as some stay-at-home wife or anything, because then I'll be pissed.

Korea definitely isn't a traditionally-oriented society where being a stay at home wife is considered the norm.
What is it with Americans going to places like this and trying to force our mores on them?
No wonder everyone hates Americans.

Which means I'm going to go after Mr. Crazy and show him just how much hatred I can concentrate on one single human life form. I believe that both parties in a relationship/marriage ought to hold jobs, none of that traditional "woman stays at home, cleans house and raises the kids" horse crap.

What about the kids?
I guess they're relegated to daycare.

I've always hated that sort of belief. Some traditions may be important, but that one needs to be destroyed.

Traditions are important unless I personally disagree with them.
Are you religious?
This really hits me as religious logic. The Bible is 100% true until we come to a part I disagree with, then it's a metaphor.

As one of my former pastors from a long time ago once said, "love by itself won't keep us together. Love also gets a job!"

Anyone else find it kind of ironic a pastor would say this when the Bible pretty clearly proscribes gender roles?
See what I mean when I say religious people agree until they run across something they personally disagree with, then it's a metaphor?
Just make your own moral code at that point you assholes.

Crap. They're not gonna stop. They're not gonna stop working us to death until we're actually dead! For the second week in a row since Memorial Day they're having us work all weekend again. And yet again, we're starting a couple hours early on Sunday and working ten hours. I really like the money and all, but there's gotta be a line drawn. That line is getting very close.

Apparently he/she/it works at a power plant.
I'm guessing this is a man because working at a power plant is dangerous work and women don't do dangerous jobs.
That's not sexism either that's a statistic kind of thing.
Or maybe power plant work isn't as dangerous as I thought.
Either way I'm leaning towards this being a man now.

I spent the beginning of this birthday at work, and I shall end it at work. At least it fell on a paycheck day, so I kind of got teh birthday moneh to start out with. And then I watched most of Kate and William's wedding on television. Then last but not least, I finished the last of some very deep virus scanning and logging that the good people at Bleeping Computer had me do for the past few days.

You're 27. Time to stop pretending like having to work on your birthday is this travesty against man.

I keep forgetting whether it's the year that ends in zero which begins the new decade, or the year ending in 1. If so, then I guess this is it for the decade. Only about ten minutes left. My new years resolutions: get a cat and get fit for the Army. I was planning on Air Force, but I doubt I'll make academic proficiency in time before the cut-off age.

Joining the army.
So--
man?
There's your Christmas present from last year and it's--
a gun.
An AK-47 I think.
I can't tell.
It has the classic AK-47 profile but the best part about having no readers is there is no smug asshole to look and say WELL ACTUALLY IT'S A BLAH BLAH BLAH BUILT ON THE KALASHNIKOV FRAME like anyone gives three shits.
You're not joining the God fearing AMERICAN army with that commie gun.

Oh, and that computer infection I mentioned earlier? I finally got rid of it, thanks to the forums at BleepingComputer. The infection wasn't just a trojan: it was also a rootkit. A very sophisticated & dangerous one called TDL3 (of the TDSS family). It uses advanced stealth techniques in order to keep itself hidden from most antivirus and spyware scanners, mostly by patching a small portion of a critical Windows system driver of its choosing, usually atapi.sys or iastor. In my case it was rasacd.sys. The infected portion of that driver file is then used as the loader for the rest of the infection.

You talk like the fucking thing is sentient.
SKYNET HIJACKED MY GATEWAY.
Just restart in safe mode and run Malwarebytes you fucking asshole.
T-1000
Nanomorphic mimetic poly-alloy
he's made of liquid metal
can make knives and stabbing weapons

Ugh. I finally got my own computer back up and running. I spent the entire night installing the operating system, then the base system software components. After that came the antivirus & firewall (I *never* bring a machine online without at least those two things), then Windows activation, updates to the Windows Update system, install Service Pack 3, install all subsequent updates afterwards,

>software firewall
>expecting it to do anything

and a whole bunch of other securty components that took up my time. However, all that slow and steady prudence might not have paid off in full, all thanks to my wireless adapter's utility driver. I swear, it's driving me crazy. Almost every time I reboot this damn thing, the utility software refused to connect to the router properly. Instead, all it does is turn itself on and off, but in reality it's not connected to the router at all.

>using your wireless adapter's utility driver
THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING WRONG WITH THIS COMPUTER HORROR STORY.

That got tiring after a while, and so it was just another endless cycle of hitting "New Game" over and over again, skimming over creepy guys and cock shows, and only one instant where we came across a pair of boobs. With me being a guy, I normally wouldn't mind, but I was getting pretty despondent and disgusted with humanity at this point to even care anymore. I saw the underworld, and lo, I curseth it:

Normal guy.
I was guessing you were a girl for about the first half of this entry.
Good grief.
I mean I know army guys in real life and none of them talk like this.
What makes you think you'll cut it in an army situation?
This guy's playing Cowadooty and thinking it's the real fucking army.

In preparation for my proposed entry into the USAF, I did about 20 "army" push-ups (where one push-up = two), then went on a huge, long-ass walk for about two and a half hours.

So you did 10 pushups.
I did 897 super special Navy pushups where 1 = 593
So I did 1 and about 3/4ths of another.

As such, it didn't have Intel's HyperThreading feature, where the chip uses a second virtual core, effectively giving it 'two' cores for dual calculations (therefore doing double the work).

What a crock of shit that hyper-threading feature is.
I HAVE 1000 VIRTUAL CORES GUYS.
If only they'd invent some sort of processor with multiple cores.
Hey wait--
Anyway I found something more interesting to do with my time.
Which could literally be anything.