FOR THE SLAUUUUUGHTER

All of the entries in this blog are 4 years old and I'd like everyone to take a moment to acknowledge how little the fucking internet has changed in 4 entire years.
That's practically a fourth of the entire time most people have been online.
I guess bints will be bints.
I found this shit on Onomatheydidn't.
What the fuck is that?
Well it's the Korean pop culture version of ONTD.
Of course.
OF COURSE.
WHAT, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT WARRANTED ITS OWN GROUP?
WELL IT DOES.
Anyway I found this blog through an entry about--
you know what fuck it because I'm trying to find the right wording to make this sound not stupid and I can't do it so fuck it.
Let me just briefly summarize:
a Youtube video got more views than another Youtube video so people are mad.
About Youtube.
That is an emotion you can feel. Anger at people on Youtube.
Her first post is a three paragraph essay on why she's going friends only.

I’m a virgo, and well I love lists. I did try that 100 things in 1001 days…I failed that completely. I just wasn’t connecting with my list or the task at hand. With me turning 35 this weekend, I would like to put forth a simpler list of things I want to accomplish.

All right stop fuck it.
That means 4 years later you are almost 40 and you're posting about PNY's video beating out Girls' Generations' video. 
I know you weren't upset about this event (in fact you were celebratory) the fact that you have vested emotions in this at all really tells you it's time to grow up.
Here's a three page essay on yoga--
I'm dead serious--
I was going to comment on it but nah I think I'm good.

So i've been reading Russell SImmon's book Do You.  Common sense, but everyone needs a little bit of common sense reminder on occasion. And i have to say between it, the universe, and my passion for what i do....it helps.

Somehow it took you two long sentences to say a book was good.

Law 1. See your Vision and Stick with it -- yeah this came up this week. Money issues abound, questions of continuing came up. What to focus on, where to focus on. I think in the years of going through the motions, i lost, found, reinvented, lost again, found again, and again the vision of what DTW is to be.

...
You do know DTW is, don't you?
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DTW IS YOU FUCKING IDIOT?

I never formed a mission statement, still haven't. It's on the to do list. I'll be honest the vision is still a little fuzzy. I think when i started massage, i envisioned myself working with sports people. But honestly it's not me. My first passion is yoga.

But not the cool kind of Yoga that supposedly lets you temporarily slip out of the wheel of Samsara to discern the true motives of people and see briefly into the future, no, the shitty kind of Yoga that cunts do.
The Yoga the lets you kill someone with one punch?
Nah, we don't need that.

I do enjoy massage, but i'm not the one to come to for working out an injury, but i don't just do fluffy sessions either ....unless they are asked for. I think my massage practice is for the yogi, or for the one who needs a little nurturing to be reminded of "being well." does that make sense?

Take your soft, dainty message and shove it. I'm here to discern the difference between life and death.

yeah well i'm still figuring it out. But i did figure out what type of yoga teacher i am. I'm the one who will help you get the basics. I'm the one who is to guide that person who is afraid to go to a class with strangers and wants a little more confidence before they venture there.

I've never even been to a yoga class and somehow I'm too advanced for you.
How did that even happen?

Law 3. Get Right in Your Mind - This is where Russell Simmons talks about meditation. I admit  my meditation practice wavers. Some weeks it's great, sometimes i go weeks without a personal mediation practice.

How in the fuck are you doing yoga without meditation?
Isn't yoga by definition meditation?
You are aware it's not just some gay stretches you do, right?
It's like a whole thing?

Law 6. Surround yourself with the Right People - The people who come to my classes always amaze me. The people who i've meet along this path have been outstanding. Not all of them. But most. I am a true believer in community, and creating a community of like minded in this field. My best leads have come from my students or clients. My best supporters (outside of family) have been my students/clients. And i don't just mean in coming to classes or booking appointments. But if i asked for a blurb for the website, or if i can take their photo for the site they have complied. Or they hand me leads to jobs, or bring up my name to people who they think i should meet or be involved with. I appreciate them all. 

WE SEEK ONLY TO END OUR SLAVERY TO FATE.

I look at journals of other yogis and wonder how the hell do they do it. And something clicked in me. Just Do It. Yeah so what, Nike my come down on my yogini booty for stealing it's line, but it's too true. 

She's a yogi, guys.
That's like a spiritual teacher.

 One shoe does not make a shoe obsessed woman. I am not a shoe obsessed woman, but i have the makings to be.

>Not freeing your mind from mindless materialism
>fancies herself a yogi
no, cool.

For a while now, one of my students at the gym calls me their guru. When she does this it makes me all shifty and nervousy. Its a title i don't feel comfortable with no matter how they feel about it. I try and pass it off and do the "awwwwwwww shucks"  thing.

Today someone called me their mentor. Again the comfortableness of this is overwhelming and i started to protest. Then someone shouted out of no where, just accept it and say thank you!. I had to chuckle on the inside with that comment.

Like why even do this shit if you've completely missed the point of doing it in the first place?
It's a spiritual practice. If you don't buy into the religious part of the spiritualist thing you're like those women who practice Kabbalah without being Jewish.
Yoga isn't really a thing meant to stand on its own.

 I just believe that they are their own teachers and their own mentors. That the yoga will take them where they need to go if they just take the time to listen to themselves and their bodies. One of my students put it best, i'm like a river guide. Just giving a little nudge here and there when needed, but ultimately it's them. 

Deeeeeeeep.
Idiot.

 I am usually the last person to ask for anything from someone. But i ask, for those healers on my friend's lists, random people who check out my journal, will you please send good thoughts, Reiki, and healing energies to my dog Mena. 

Healing energies.
That's a thing, is it?

okay okay, to those who know me know that this whole Michael Vick thing pisses me off. i think he's a douche, and needs to be stripped naked chained up and let  PETA and all Animal lovers have at him. i'm sorry i cannot practice Ahisma towards this man.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
 Man, this Buddha guy.

My Baptists parents accepts and encourages my yoga and meditation practice. 

Why wouldn't they? From what I've read so far it's basically devoid of any of the actual essence of the religion it's from.

My Catholic boyfriend accept and encourages my yoga and meditation practice. He even accepts my leanings towards Buddhism.

Your sweeping ignorance of the subject suggests they're only very slight leanings.
Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates

one of my yoga students gave me this for a christmas present. and i started to use it for my forty day sadhana because it would dive deeper into the yamas and niyamas.

Buddhism isn't even something that's supposed to stand on its own. It's not even, strictly speaking, a religion. It fits more comfortably into the workings of another religion.
I say you slap that shit right on top of whatever bullshit beliefs you already have.
Oh but no wait Buddhism gets pretty hardcore at times. Better just stick to bullshit.
This blog goes on and on about nonsense.
I legitimately can't believe how fucking long this blog is and yet it says precisely fuck all.
I'm left with the perplexing question of "what was so mundane that she had to hide behind friends only"?
Anyway this is putting me to sleep so I'm gonna go.

Oh Jesus Christ what's he doing

So Clint Eastwood was caught talking to a chair in front of thousands of people.
I know, I know, but I think we all need to remember he also involved in this scene.
Also this one.
So I think in a career of scenes like this we might forgive him one really deeply uncomfortable one.
I mean remember Play Misty For Me?
You're allowed one like that every 20 or so years.
Anyway, welcome...
TO OBLIVION!

What is your must-see holiday movie?

Oh yes, that's right. The only reason I picked this blog was because it brought me back to the halcyon days of the writer's block.
Those were good times.
I think my answer then was Die Hard and my answer today is still Die Hard.

Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas, from Community. Hell, I just may make it an occasion to rent and watch all three Community Holiday Specials on the same day.

I've heard of this.
Wait no I haven't.

If you could ask the leader of your country anything, what would it be?

How'd you feel about Clint Eastwood's speech?
Was it even more awkward if you're the subject of it or no?

Boxers or briefs?

Because really - we're talking about Obama here. 

We're talking about a man well known for not answering any hard hitting questions, true.
I think mine was topical, but I can't blame you for answering this two years ago.

He may not make policies that we all agree with, but physically? He's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine...

 
I don't even know what to say to this.
...
No I think we better just move on.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

I know it hasn't happened yet but Arizona wanted to pass a law that made conception start at 2 weeks before-- err-- conception.
That would also effectively outlaw masturbation.

Some of you out there are Christian.

Some are even Episcopalian.

And some, even go to church! 

:VV

If you're in this group, and want to try out something new, may I suggest All Saints Episcopal Church. http://allsaints-seattle.org/ We're a small, funky, diverse congregation located in Rainier Beach. We have LGBT congregants, we have little elderly white church ladies, and we have a growing population of African immigrants, primarily from Nigeria. All of us are led by our wonderful, spiritual, beautiful vicar, Reverend Carla Robinson. 

>letting women preach
>ANNO DOMINI PRID KAL SEPT MMXII
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law."
- 1 Corinithians 14:34
BUT YOU KNOW I'M SURE YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO TAKE THAT ONE LITERALLY.
The Bible is only literal until it says something uncomfortable. I've learned that.

She has the distinction of being one of the only Black pastors in the Diocese of Olympia, and one of the only MTF Transgendered pastors in the entire Episcopal Union. She gives really dynamic sermons, and the church as a whole has an important social justice bent. We even have our own Social Justice Committee. 

>politics
>church
"Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's"
- Matthew 22:21
But I'm suuuuure that's not literal either.

However, even if you're not Christian, we could still use your help. 

Have you tried praying?
So apparently this person's hobby is taking the bus to different places.
That sounds like an awesome time. Wake up at 4:30 to take a bus 3000 miles.
Wow this is really boring.
Know what's good reading?
Someone's itinerary.

Did you know that you can go from Seattle to Vancouver, BC using only public transit options? You can! I did it! 

My real question here is "why would I want to?"
Aaaaaand I'm up to the beginning of this blog.
I guess good job not posting tons and tons but on the other hand what you did post really sucks so--
fuck it I'm awarding 0 points.
NO STARS.

You people suck

Jesus Christ post something interesting in your blog for once so I don't have to seem like I'm phoning it in with this bullshit but anyway it's ONTD_POLITICAL MONDAY :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Nils Pickert's five-year-old son likes to wear dresses, and given how closed-minded people can be, Nils wanted to make sure that he grows up with a strong, positive role model. So he did what any mind-bogglingly incredible dad would do: he started wearing skirts himself.

Of course.

I didn’t want to talk my son into not wearing dresses and skirts. He didn’t make friends in doing that in Berlin already and after a lot of contemplation I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself. After all you can’t expect a child at pre-school age to have the same ability to assert themselves as an adult. Completely without role model. And so I became that role model...

Personally I'd teach my kid to blend in and be like the water so he could grow up to be a badass Imperial Assassin but I guess teaching him to be a preening drama queen is an option as well.

And what’s the little guy doing by now? He’s painting his fingernails. He thinks it looks pretty on my nails, too. He’s simply smiling, when other boys (and it’s nearly always boys) want to make fun of him and says: “You only don’t dare to wear skirts and dresses because your dads don’t dare to either.” That’s how broad his own shoulders have become by now. And all thanks to daddy in a skirt.

Needless to say the comments are an insufferable mix of smugness and SQUEEE GLOMP bullshit that makes me want to murder.

Here's an interesting case: black woman running for Congress as a Republican.

She's also anti abortion and all this other crap--

can ONTD_Political root for her?

On one hand she's their beloved POC rainbow but on the other she's at odds with their politics.

Always makes me sad when people of color are republicans. Just doesn't make sense.

Bitch is probably tired of losing money.

Like even if I, somehow, agreed with policies that were actually detrimental to me as a minority, there is no way in east hell that I could join a party that values their minority members more as tokens than as legitimate politicians and activists.

This is why you're whining on the internet and she's going to be in congress.

Both parties had something to gain from this arrangement and could set aside their bottom sore.

I can't repeat it often enough:

morality has no relation to politics.

ANN ARBOR – Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a new University of Michigan study shows words can wound for life.

Apparently calling someone a faggot will make him kill himself.

Man this blog has a body count, then.

I'm basically a serial killer.

The study found the commonly used phrase “that’s so gay” to describe something undesirable can have negative consequences for gay, lesbian or bisexual students.

that's so "EVE Online character with more skill points than ISK".

Although subtle, such language is hostile, and can be harmful to sexual minorities, said study author Michael Woodford, an assistant professor of social work at U-M.

I can't even remember the last time I heard the phrase "that's so gay".

I can't even say that and sound angry. I need something with some teeth to it.

Here's a post about some Russian guy who was keeping these Vietnamese women as slaves in a textile factory--

barely got a response in the comments, naturally--

There's something really fucked up about ONTD_Political's priorities. Some guy calls someone else gay?
CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!
A literal slave trade?

Fuck that who cares--

whatever, I'm tired and whiny--

Tens of thousands of Ontario teachers will likely see their wages frozen and their benefits cut this fall as the province's cash-strapped Liberals swung a legislative hammer Monday to battle a $15-billion deficit.

Yes, that's certainly what caused a deficit.
Education.

Why would you want an educated workforce?

Ehh.

It's not just teachers. All public servants, provincial and even federal are getting wage freezes or getting laid off. It's because of the economy.

How about you get rid of all the bullshit?

A New Jersey city often described as the most dangerous in the country will no longer have its own police force, as a crunched state budget has intensified an effort to reduce costs by busting the local police union. Camden, New Jersey ranks among the most crime-ridden cities in America — in 2008, it had the nation’s highest crime rate — and this year, it is on pace to set a national record for shootings and murders.

The city, however, will lay off its entire police force by the end of the year.

Awesome.

Hey, Eidos I think I found a great setting for Deus Ex 4.

And, inexplicably, ONTD_Political blames this on the Republicans even though the deficit has ramped up since Obama took office.

Well, he is one of their fabled "person of color" and therefore is blameless according to ONTD_P so I guess--

Hunter Spanjer says his name with a certain special hand gesture, but at just three and a half years old, he may have to change it.

"He's deaf, and his name sign, they say, is a violation of their weapons policy," explained Hunter's father, Brian Spanjer.

Grand Island's "Weapons in Schools" Board Policy 8470 forbids "any instrument...that looks like a weapon," But a three year-old's hands?

There should be a law against naming your kid Hunter.

There, crisis averted.

 A Taiwanese minister has caused widespread debate on hygiene by suggesting that men should sit down while urinating instead of standing up.

Stephen Shen, Environmental Protection Administration (EPA) minister, said that sitting on the toilet like women do creates a cleaner environment.

This has generated a lot of online debate, says the BBC's Cindy Sui.

Come on bro be serious.

Might as well cut your dick off while you're at it.

The comments, unsurprisingly, mostly agree with the assessment that men should sit down.

Apparently society is just completely keen on emasculating all men now.

How fucking dumb are men, though? We're just putting up with this shit.

Boring bullshit no one cares about--

Jesus Christ, Livejournal. Liven up a little. I feel like I have one foot in the fucking coffin reading this crap.

Even your sweeping ignorance on every subject known to man fails to stir. 

Usually this is good for a laugh but I really feel like I'm just going through the motions with you today.

I feel like I ask for relatively little from you, Livejournal.

My criteria for a successful blog from you is tremendously low.

Tremendously low, and yet we're still here.

Here, having this conversation.

Anyway let's hope for a better Friday.