SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF

Today's blogger person writes Xenosaga fanfiction.
I wasn't aware anyone else played Xenosaga, let alone thought enough of it to write fanfiction.
Oh well, here we are.
Xenosaga. You know, that retarded bastard child of Xenogears? That game everyone thought was deep and really complex but turned out to just be a bunch of technobabble and plotholes?
Yeah, that one.

My writing has been pretty sluggish this summer. I don't know if it's because of the heat or me being just plain busy (maybe a combo of both). My troublesome Jr./MOMO Xenosaga WIP is currently at a standstill, so I'm setting it aside for a while. Sorry, but the story just isn't coming out the way I'd like it.

"Sorry but the story just isn't coming out the way I'd like it" is what I imagine the writers of Xenosaga said at every single planning meeting during that game's production so I believe that's par for the course on anything Xeno- related.
Did I mention the spiritual successor to Xenosaga, Xenoblade, won't be translated and will therefore be destined for Japan only?
And that's somehow a loss for American audiences?
I'll let that sink in for a moment.
That's how bankrupt the Wii's library is.
I'd like to mention Xenosaga itself is the spiritual successor to Xenogears. We have a spiritual successor to a spiritual successor. Maybe your idea just isn't that good?

Instead, I'm focussing on two one-shot WIPs. There's a very good chance that I'll publish my Pokemon one-shot (the aforementioned story set during the Lucario movie [Movie 8]).

Oh boy, Pokemon fanfiction.
Just what my life has been lacking.

*Random rant ahead* You have been warned!

I've been saving up my money for the final DVD set for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

... I'm sorry to interrupt your rant about nothing but what is your avatar for this post?
It looks-- hmm.
Take a look at this.
Surely I'm not the only person that thinks this looks like a girl going down on a guy.
Oh, ha ha-- I see it now.
That is some incoherent art.
Proceed.

I'm uber excited over the series' grand finale. I reserved myself a copy at MovieStop. When I preordered the DVD back in May, the release date was supposed to be last Tuesday. It didn't come in. Websites claim the release date was bumped to August 2nd. No luck today. I called MovieStop and they claim the set's coming out NEXT Tuesday!

I'm sorry didn't Full Metal Alchemist end like eight years ago?
I haven't been keeping up with anime.

So in a nutshell, Game/MovieStop...I'm pissed with you guys. The only reason I do business with them is because they've got the monopoly on used/rare video games and DVDs,

Rare video games--
Gamestop--
No--
No.

In other random, ranty news: the DVD business seems hell-bent on draining my wallet. "Supernatural: The Anime Series" came out this week on DVD (and my local Best Buy is charging $44.99 for it!!

You bought anime? Wooooow! I can't belieeeeeeeeeeeeeve it! What a l-looooooser!

Plus, I've been saving up my money since, like, May for next week's release of "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Part Five." *_* Eee! I can't wait to see the series' grand finale!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE fucking hell.

Which book would you want to see turned into a videogame?

Dante's Inferno.
Oh right.
Yeah that already happened.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.
And what a good game that was.
I think.

Frankly, as much as I adore video games, I think that most game adaptations for books are just as good (aka. bad) as movie adaptations. Parasite Eve (loosely based on its Japanese novel -- of which I haven't yet read) is one of my favorite games, so I'm not saying "all" book-based games suck.

Well having read the book and played the video game do you know what Parasite Eve the game has in common with the book?
About as much as Dante's Inferno.
That is, the title.
But unlike Dante's Inferno where the book was good and the game was good here we have the second greatest book ever written and a mediocre at best action platformer that rips of God of War so hard it might as well be called Kratos' Inferno of War: Ultra Manly Pecs edition.

If manga counts, I always believed Hiroyuki Asada's manga series, "Tegami Bachi"

Tegami Bachi--
Surely my Japanese isn't good enough to translate this or is the title really "Letter Bee"?
That makes even less sense in English, somehow.
Maybe it's "te" as in "hand" and "gami" as in "some word I don't know" and this all makes sense?

("Letter Bee") could be a great adventure JRPG (Japanese role-playing game).

Letter Bee it is.
Why I don't bother with anime anymore.

The manga series takes place in a vast country (Amberground) with all sorts of monsters (Gaichuu) to fight, and when I'm reading the books I sometimes feel like I'm watching gameplay.

Oh a vast country with monsters to fight.
Haven't had one of those games before.

Now, I'm well aware that Konami has released at least one PSP spin-off game for Tegami Bachi (which will probably never get released overseas. Figures). However, instead of cheap spin-offs, I do think Asada's manga could hold potential for a true-blue adventure JRPG series, perhaps a la Dragon Quest. The biggest worry I have, however, is that the video game graphics couldn't possibly match Asada's gorgeous artwork (regardless of HD quality).

>Gorgeous artwork
>manga
Yeah right.
I'm going to Google this.
This sounds awful, just saying.

The "biggest" fic I'm currently working on is a 4-chapter-long(ish) Xenosaga story (what I call my Xenosaga "miniseries"). The fic will be a dama starring Jr. and MOMO (which, I remember promising readers I'd write a Jr./MOMO story, like, two freaking years ago...so this fic is sorta' overdue ^^;). Although I adore their relationship, I have a tough time writing about them (for reasons I don't yet know. Then again, most of my Xenosaga energy goes to Jr. and Albedo, so my limited brain probably can't process much else ^_^;;).

Surely this is a girl.
No way a man could be writing like this.

The rest of my ideas are generally angsty one-shots. One is a Pokemon tragedy set during the Lucario movie, and it's 100% different from all my other Pokemon fanfics.

Because when I think Pokemon, oh yeah, I think angst.
What, are you out of your fucking mind?

So I've recently grown interested in checking out other fandoms (namely for fanfiction, although I've also checked out other fandoms in fanart). I'm still devoted to my top fandoms: Pokemon and Xenosaga, but I've also been unable to ignore a few other series that've captured my one-track mind.

Does this mean I'll write fanfiction for fandoms outside my niches? Nothing is set in stone just yet, so don't get alarmed.

Oh, and I was.
Fucking
fanfiction

An odd mix, I know, but I'm an odd girl, so it's all good. ^_~

Odd girl.
Do I take that at face value?
Sure you're not a WOMAN TRAPPED IN A NECKBEARD'S BODY?
Fucking hell.
Oh-- so she linked her DeviantArt (no one cares) but one of her favorites was this.
One might wonder why someone clearly talented posts their work to DeviantArt but then again I'm not an artist.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's the first entry so I'm officially done early.
Hurray~

The past is always with us.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy.
Girl blogger this time. I'm pretty sure. Almost positive.
Ok so it might be a guy.

What are you studying or did you study in school? Is it related to what you want to do for your career?

English education and probably not.
Using it for the cred, or that's the idea, anyway--

I majored in Media & Theatre Arts, aka movies.

Whew, I made a dumb mistake majoring in education but at least I didn't do something that stupid.

I originally opted for the major for two reasons: a.) scriptwriting is one of my few talents, and b.) I have this... I don't know if it's a type of synesthesia or what, but I seriously can't hear music without images and movement springing unbidden to my mind, little "movies" if you will, and I figured that filmmaking could help me translate those images to a more tangible medium.

You're making that shit up, knock it off. Synesthesia is a serious neurological condition where sensory signals literally get interpreted by the wrong part of the brain. Imagining your music being a backdrop to a movie is something most people do anyway.
In fact, neurologist Richard Cytowic made a handy list to tell if you have this rare condition, one of criteria is:
"Synesthetic percepts are consistent and generic (i.e., simple rather than pictorial)."
SIMPLE RATHER THAN PICTORIAL.

About two years into my major I realized it really wasn't what I wanted to do for a career (largely because it requires things like "working with other people" and "moving to LA" and other things I'm not fond of) but I finished out the major anyway because I couldn't think of anything else to do.

You probably sucked at it anyway.

A few weeks back I dropped a couple of hints about a potentially major change happening; well, it seems to be fairly set in stone so I'll detail it here. It... really isn't as exciting as I probably made it sound. xD

xD xD MY LIFE IS BORING SO I'LL MAKE SURE TO WRITE FIFTEEN PARAGRAPHS OF NOTHING--

I worked on adding a new scene to my book yesterday... I didn't finish, because I wasn't particularly happy with how it was turning out (as I'm fond of saying: I ALWAYS hate my first drafts, no matter WHAT), but I got an okay start. Here's what I'm adding:


Basically I'm adding a scene toward the beginning of the book where Windshifter is wandering around Faradan City upon just arriving and winds up at a traveling carnival. There are a lot of interesting mechanical and Amparium-powered devices here, like rides, fortune tellers, mechanical arcade games and the like. Anyways,

ANYWAYS
ANYWAYS GUYS
ASPIRING AUTHOR
ANYWAYS
I don't understand all these people who hate their first drafts. You know what that says to me? Shit idea. Also this is the fifth blog in recent memory I've read where they say "I don't reread my drafts because I'm afraid they'll suck."
GEE. Better finish it blind and just living in ignorance then~
I reread my last few pages as a matter of course and I always think "YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO READ ALWAYS" and if I don't feel that way time to find a new idea.

Windshifter rigs one of these up so a little kid can win it, which impresses Profferlink, who is there on business and has a weak spot for little kids.

For being such a short scene, I think this will go a long way to improving the overall story, as it will include such improvements as:
- Showing (rather than telling) Amparium's ubiquitousness in society

Showing instead of telling.
Something all bloggers have a problem with.
Also let's take random stabs at what this story is about. I'm guessing crotchity Dr. House-type character with magical (possibly mechanical) powers who goes around a steampunk setting solving crime.
That is the stock of 99% of all bloggers' books.
In the history of writing has there ever been a published steampunk story?
I guess that Neil Gaiman had one but he's basically fanfiction that hit it big--

Adding a bunch of flavor to the setting in general (that's one of the things the publisher advised I do in that one rejection letter)

I'd like to mention she's trying to get e-published. Vanity presses are telling you to go screw.

I spent some of my long weekend working on a cover for "Windshifter" ("The end of the month" is still my goal), but I was unhappy with the results, so I scrapped it. The truth is, I'm just not a graphic designer, and my art skills are niche at best.

I had no idea authors had to do their own covers.
F. Scott Fitzgerald is a pretty good artist too, then--
Oh that's right. If you're not a hack people will be lining up to do your cover for you.
Sorry, got confused for a second there.

My self-esteem has really hit an all time low over the last couple of weeks/months. I've never felt so terribly insecure about myself and others' thoughts on me before.

But you have WINDWAKER under your belt.
Windshifter, whatever.
Windwaker was a Zelda game.

A psychologist would, I'm sure, have a field day with me. He'd probably point out that I was ripped from a job I was an expert in and dumped into one where I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, resulting in me essentially being paid to feel useless 30 hours a week for months on end.

Feeling useless for 30 hours a week?
Working for the federal government?
HEY-OH

And he'd probably also point out the double whammy of a.) my parents breaking up/my family "factionalizing", and b.) my relationship of six years ending, both of which were tossed at me at nearly the same time, meaning that I've watched every important familial or near-familial relationship in my life prove itself as tenuous and temporary. "No wonder you feel like you can't trust anyone, including yourself!" the shrink would say.

And you know, he'd probably be right.

I know what I'd say: "ever consider that you think about yourself too much?"

I'm really getting hit hard with the self-doubt bat again. See, my goal is to have "Windshifter" e-published by the end of the month, right? Right. Except that I want to give it one last read through before I truly call it "final", and I can't bring myself to read it, because I know it's going to suck.

I reread a short story I wrote recently with the intention that I was going to read it like I read most things (I.E. "this is shit before I even start") and by page two I was convinced I was awesome.
No one is more down on shit than me so clearly I'm just good at this shit and you might suck a little.

For example! Today I was going to start reading it, so I picked up my e-reader and... promptly started reading something else, because I couldn't bring myself to drudge through my own drivel.

I was amazed at my own level of vocabulary and yet it still read easily. HOW ON EARTH DO I DO IT?

I feel like I need some encouragement, but then I also feel like said encouragement would be useless, because I have some sort of railroad switch in my brain that routes all complements I receive into the "Well, they're just saying that to be nice" category.

Awful, no?

I just need to finish an anthology and then PREPARE YOUR BUTTS.

Just once I want a browser that doesn't go all Pac-Man on my RAM, but until then~

>Pac-Man on your RAM
What kind of 1999 computer are you using?
Man. Let's see how much Firefox is eating currently (too much I'm sure but I don't give a shit)--
almost 300MB.
But I have 6GB so it's okay.

I'm about 99.9% sure that e-publishing is going to be what I do, instead of traditional publishing. I went from being about 50% sure to about 75% sure to about 90% sure and then back down to 75% sure, but now I'm... well, yeah. I'm pretty convinced. The more I look into it, the more I think it's worth what risks there may be. It's not as glorious and romantic as traditional publishing, no, but I think for me and the way I tend to operate... it's the right thing to do. I really do think so.

k

"Windshifter" moral: The future may look kind of scary, but we should be optimistic about it because it's actually going to be awesome. Also, technology is pretty great because it was made by humans anthropomorphic animals, who are pretty great.

OHHHHHH BOY IT'S FURRY.
Well anyway I think I'm done with this nonsense.
Good luck selling your gay furry porn online.
Loser.

Fanfiction and Fat Fucks

Fanfiction is 18 levels of disturbing I don't even want to get into. Why are all these women writing violent sex fanfics? Sounds like you all need a sound fucking to me. That's the only rational excuse for this bullshit I can come up with.
Of course, woman writing violent domination and humiliation fanfiction starring two men.
King Arthur and Merlin, naturally.
I mean can you think of any two better candidates for this treatment than the King of the Bretons and the wily mage?
I certainly can't.
I suspect this has less to do with ancient Breton mythology and more to do with there's a TV show about it.
Also this layout, despite being incredibly douchey, is definitely readable.
So there's that, I suppose.

What other foreign languages do you know? Which one(s) do you want to learn?

The amount of honesty to this question surprised me. I was expecting three major answers: Russian shit no one can read, LOL JAPANESE ^_^ and the snooty faggot "French and Italian because I'm high class" and yet most people were willing to admit they barely passed high school Spanish.

American English, Japanese, Spanish, & Mandarin Chinese. Enough Latin, Italian, Korean, Egyptian and Modern Arabic to get around, and can read French, and Portuguese.

I'm trying on the German, I really am!

And then we come to this answer.
There's a part of me, and it's a large part, that's calling bullshit on this. You've managed to learn Japanese, Mandarin to fluency (apparently) and "enough to get around" of Arabic and Korean and yet you're struggling with German?
I'm not buying it.
Also, take me to the part of the world where you need Latin to get around.

Hey everyone.

I want to let everyone know I am doing fine. I am recovering. : ) Thank you all for your kind wishes.

Awwww what happened to my special buttercup?

I been able to write a few paragraphs, and draw a little, but nothing too big.

But, I do seem to be able to make small minor art at the moment, which means i can do shit, which means im a little happier and can get my mind off the funeral sunday. Maybe I can get back to full writing and drawing mode soon. How odd...

So, shimeji merlin it is then.

Must be something major to tame this amount of creativity!
Oh, funeral.
Somehow you've made the death of another about you.
Unsurprising but still.

hey everyone.

One of my good friends just recently died, so I'm putting this up while I'm still lucid and too numb. I wont be able to update anything for an unknown amount of time.

Should I post this on my main wip fills on kinkme as well?

My friend died
Should I post to Kinkme?
"Only you can answer that" would be my response.
What-- how do these thoughts even become related in your mind?
Friend died--
What is Kinkme?
I can guess but let's find out.
Seller of fine adult toys-- ah, an account she has for fanfiction of the kinky nature.
THIS EXISTS.
And here's some fanfiction.

Warnings: noncon, dubcon, bonds.

Uhhh--
Have you ever seen that episode of Spongebob where he has to go to the bathroom and the only labels on the door are a question mark and an upside down question mark and he's not sure which to use so he waits until someone goes in and it's just a series of sea monsters coming in and out?
I suddenly know how he feels.
There are warnings but I have no way of heeding them. This reminds me of my bottles of paint that are entirely in Spanish but then quite emphatically there's a skull, an exclamation point and a stick figure man on fire.
Oh boy.

Summary: Now, she is the only thing he misses, looks forward to, and he hates himself for it.


Merlin lies in the darkness.

He has lain there for such a long time. He doesn’t know how many hours or days, he’s been here. The minutes stretch by uncounted. He could have been lying here for years and not have known it, as his mind grows duller, breaking down, succumbing to the madness.

I think you'd know if you were lying there for years.
Also I'd like to point out Merlin is one of three figures in Breton mythology who can raise the dead.
Another is Christ so that's pretty fucking powerful.
And the other is some witch but let's not dwell on that.
Merlin's sorcerous power approaches that of Christ himself.
Obviously he wants to be tied up because there's little physically stopping him, I'm guessing.

He has begun looking forward to Morgause’s visits.

Almost.

It is the warmth, he misses. He is sure that is what he desires. The warm fire from the torch, the witch brings with her.

I'd like to point out Merlin doesn't really fear her in any story I've ever read, he just lets her troll Arthur so he'd learn some lesson about chivalry or something.
So this goes on and on like this and then it just ends.
Great.

Only my art muse is awake today. That being said, anyone want some art for their fic? : )

I wish I had an image to encompass how douchey these two sentences but I don't.
I don't blame myself, though. I don't think such a beast exists.

I came out to my grandparents today. We were sitting in the living room, watching those old westerns, when I told them " I like men...a little."

THIS IS A MAN?
HA.

My grandfather leaned over, and told me in the deepest southern accent " you're now just fucking figuring this out?"

Well, needless to say I received enough hugs to last a lifetime, and I was the only one who cried(a little!)

Seriously, Christ all mighty. I was never so confident this was a woman.
You'd think I'd fucking learn, though. Never, ever commit to a statement of gender until you've seen then naked. You just cannot tell.

So, all I wanted to say to everyone out there was, thank you for your wonderful fanfictions, and simply being awesome people. : ) I think I may write a 'coming out' story for Merlin now.

Maybe it's because I'm such a mythologyfag but writing coming out stories for Merlin seems especially tacky to me.

I'll be right back, I need to go have a good cry.(I never actually stopped. All well, fuck it!)

Yes, congratulations.
Can we, for once, not make this a self-indulgent production?
Of course not, I was just being rhetorical.
Or "ironic" if I'm feeling hipster.
Oh boy, another fanfiction entry.

Summary: “How dare you talk to me like that, I am the King!” Arthur spat, brandishing his sword. He didn’t know the strange naked youth, nor did he care.

BRANDISHING HIS SWORD, EH?
NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DRAW PHALLIC CONNECTIONS TO A SWORD, HAR.

The heavens mourned as the almighty sat within the council of gods. He wept, they all wept, as they watched one of their mortal children, destroy all he saw. Like a plague his forces swept the land, leaving nothing but death in its passing.

They sent the ruler visions, pleading him to stop the wars.

‘King Arthur, of the house of Pendragon, the son of Uther, and the godson of the Almighty god Constantine,’ they plead,

>God
>Constantine
Errr--
I think we have some confused mythology, here.
Although it was popular opinion at the time that England descended from the line of Troy after the sac of Troy at the hands of the Achaeans--
So in a way--
no fuck it this is stupid.
So the gods command you to not conquer the land but instead fuck other men.
That's some theology.
Can I do neither or do I have to do one or the other?
I can't believe this is a man.
Speaking of:

Jissai has come to the realization that he may be just slightly...very slightly...what's the word here?

Ah, yes, slightly,little, pinch of gay.

Speaking in the third person, are you?
Also what point did you realize this? When you were writing masturbatory material prominently featuring gay sex?
Christ on a cross.
Picture he drew of two men in bed together--

Well, since I am still waiting on my fanfic muse to return, I have been drawing like there is no tomorrow on the merlin fancomic.

Fanfiction muse.
Gag.
That's the retarded half sister of the other muses.
She's missing an eye and half her jaw and has a club foot-- we don't talk about her.
Another fanfic with the warning "future violence" which sounds more up my alley. Let's see.

You can do this



You chant the words over and over again, in your mind.



Like a prayer, a frail hope that you cannot but predict will break and fall as its wings shatter and eyes go still.

Nope fuck it.
Also have you skipped enough spaces between sentences? Maybe I should start doing that so it looks like I've written more than I have.

Magic is evil. Unnatural. It corrupts and twists a man until nothing but a monster is left, greedy eyes wide, scanning the horizon in search for its next conquest.

Except all those good wizards.
Or burn the witch--
What stance do I take so I can disagree with this toolbag?
I feel like I have to disagree with him.
I mean before he's practically sucking Merlin's magic dick and now this.
Uuuuuh fuck it.
CALL THE POLICE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.