I've been diseased

I contracted some unspecified biological agent thanks to my horrible school.
On top of SHIN SPLINTS HARDCORE and in general having to winnow the horrors of teaching fucking 9th graders (in a shitty school no less) a lesser mortal would have broken by now, but not I.
I endure eternal.
Hooo, so tired.
Also: must be 14, flavor country, gentlemen, etc.
Today's writer's block:

When, if ever, is it okay to snoop on your significant other? Have you ever?

"When the bitch is creeping" is my response.

I don't think it's ever ok to snoop on your significant other. EVER. I would be absolutely livid if my partner were to go through my e-mail, my phone, my facebook, my anything behind my back and without consent.

Yeah, well. Don't give me a reason to think you're blowing some other dude and we're fine.
Also this is how you know I'm an honest person. At least I have the balls to say it. All the other "I WOULD TRUST MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER ALWAYS LOL" are cocksucking liars.

I think they're all nuts. Even if someone gives you reason to suspect that they're up to something sketchy, I don't think it's ok. I think it's the coward's way of not talking through problems and I think it shows a lack of respect.

If she's cheating she's going to lie. Are you fucking stupid or something?

To me, if you don't trust and respect your partner then there's no reason for you to be together. I think it also starts to make you look for problems, look for suspicious information, and give you a reason to start keeping secrets.

A suspicious mind is a healthy mind.

I know that if my partner was looking through my email, I'd start a different email account without telling them. It's a disgusting display of control and mistrust, and I wouldn't ever condone it.

Didn't you just say you didn't condone keeping secrets? So you should show me your email and dispel all doubt instead of acting like you do have something to hide.
See then you could call me an asshole and break up with me instead of acting like a petty, hypocritical cunt I know you are and whoops-- looks like the truth finally came out.
Here's some dumb fucking survey hidden behind a cut and if she thinks I'm reading this she's nuts.

I've worn myself out bitching about the extend on our hellatus (fuck you, CW) so moving on to another topic...

Women. Feminism. Empowerment. Ect.

Moving on from something I don't know what it is, some shit no one but dumb cunts care about.

Here's why: we think of feminism and we think of bra burning, women fighting for equality in the work place, the right to vote, ect. Now we've achieved all of that (debatable. Women are still paid less than men for the same jobs but, you know)

Oh what they're not telling you about that shocking statistic: the fact women take off from work to drop spawn they promptly ignore explains the discrepancy in wages.
Work less, make less. WELCOME. WELCOME TO CAPITALISM.

but now we face other kinds of inequality which boils down to basic sexism. Sexism is still alive and thriving today.*

Ok so she has a note where she explains this statement but it's immediately below her previous paragraph in small font so just make a new paragraph, goddamn.

*Note: I'm aware that sexism applies to men too. I think it's terrible the way we raise males to think that they have to be strong, unemotional tyrants who need to put their pride before all else.

Oh no, don't lump me into this butthurt bullshit. You are the one upset about sexism, not me.

Then we raise females to think that it's normal for men to be that way. Be honest, how many women feel awkward when they see a man cry in front of them? Anyways...

Pussies.
But yes, anywayS.

I categorize racism, sexism, and denial of human rights (ie: gay marriage) under the same heading, and that heading is "WRONG." It sickens me that we are still racist, that we still make racist jokes and laugh at them, that we laugh at sexist jokes (no, it is NOT funny when you tell me that women belong in the kitchen),

Actually yes it is funny.
You can say it's not all you want but your opinion isn't actually better than mine so I can just refute it outright.
Deal with it.

and it's not ok that we deny marriage to anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Only a shitty writer deals in absolutes, you know.
TO ANYONE, REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
ANYONE, REGARDLESS.
I bet there are some combinations of sexuality you find objectionable like, say, pedophilia?
In fact I'd wager that exact kind of thinking hurts the gay marriage movement more than it helps because then all conservatives have to do is point and say LOOK PEOPLE WANT TO LEGALIZE MARRYIN' YER DOG and be technically right based on the language people use.
My point is before you say shit make sure you qualify it.

The thing is, we recognize that racism is wrong and to an extent, we recognize that discrimination against gays is wrong too. But we continually advocate sexism and then we (especially men, ironically) claim that there is no need for feminism in 2011.

Stop saying "we". I recognize nothing you recognize categorically just to separate myself from you.

And think about it, men are still seen as sexual and it's ok for them to be sexual. If a woman is openly sexual, she is labeled as: skanky, slutty, or a whore.

Flashing back to pussy sensitivity. Anyway, moving on--

But here's what really upsets me and what made me realize that I've been thinking the wrong things about feminism: genital mutilation. It isn't practiced in the U.S. (anymore, to my knowledge) but it is in the Middle East, in Africa, and I think in Asia, too. Without going into gory detail, it's exactly what it sounds like: women being mutilated sexually (with razor blades or broken glass, my psych teacher has informed me.) It's done because it's "more appealing to men for marriage," or as a rite of passage into women hood.

Oh what do you call circumcision, then? Not genital mutilation?
Fuck you you two-standard bitch.

And don't even get me started on the media. The media is what helps feed all of this. Music and music videos are constantly depicting women as nothing but sexual objects, advertisements and Hollywood keep telling women that they need to be thin and perfect, but they more or less let the men slide. Yes, I acknowledge that the media affects men too, telling them that they need to be ripped and tan, but it's not nearly as prominent as it is with females.

Because men are less affected by such marketing. Stop being gullible twats and it'll go away.
What, you really think companies don't market to men that way just because?
Goddamn, I can't deal with this shit anymore, new entry.

The CW is pushing tomorrow's Supernatural to NEXT FUCKING WEEK.
EXCUSE ME?

WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK?!

I don't even know what that means but I get the impression you have a "crisis" every ten minutes.
Never short of things to be OUTRAGED about.

And truly? This is probably not normal. I'm spending an outrageous amount of money on this convention. Who does that? Who flies across an ocean and spends an unspeakable amount of money, just for a TV show convention?

>Probably not
No it definitely isn't.
Whoooa wandered off for a few hours and coughed up a lung.
Time to do something else.

Of mankind we may say in general they are fickle, hypocritical, and greedy of gain.

I like today's writer's block.

How do you define a true friend? What would lead you to end a friendship?

The answer is any friend who would help me bury the body and NOTHING CAN BREAK SUCH A BOND.
Anyway here we have a new unholy triumvirate I'm noticing:

• picture of a baby for an avatar
• black birds background
• crazy multicolored font

Gentlemen, welcome to flavor country.
I would like to point out this background was specifically designed with white font in mind but never mind, idiots, use dark red and bright orange. That's fine. Anyway here's the first post and therefore most recent post and I'm still not really understanding how Livejournal sorts these writer's blocks because I remember this one from a bit ago:

Do you believe society will ever truly overcome racism?

I believe my answer was something like "no, people are biologically programmed to fear what looks different from them" but then again I also believe I'm quoted as saying "Jesus Christ didn't die on the cross for you to marry someone who looks like you" so I'm not really sure what my stance on this issue is.
Basically I'm looking for the view that lets me call brown and yellow girls delicious while still using race as an easy way to hate someone.
Not that I hate people because of their race but if I hate someone I can use race as a way to buffer my litany of hate against them.

I do not believe that our society will ever overcome racism simply because there's a lot of people who are way too ignorant when it comes to other people's culture and lifestyle.

Like earlier this week I was pissed at Korea for producing shitty music that gets stuck in my head.
But that's okay because I actually bothered to watch the video and I found the girl I'm going to marry in it.
She doesn't know it yet but it's coming.
I suspect the fact I don't know her name and I don't understand a word she says isn't as big a relationship issue as people make it out to be.
Apparently it's "Sooyoung" and I think I'm just going to call her Sue. Girls like when you have pet names for them, right?

Instead of asking questions to learn, people would rather criticize and judge it as something evil or wrong and because they feel that what they know as being civilized is as is, often people do not realize that its a big world and that not everything that you know is right.

But I am always right. ANALYSIS IS THE BANE OF CONVICTION.
And today's writer's block's (fffffffffffffuck) answer:

I define a true friend who is a friend that is always there with you through thick and thin. Someone who is not afraid to tell you how it is even though its something you don't want to hear. Someone who will always have your back regardless and is ready to defend you no matter what.

BLAH BLAH BLAH SAILOR MOON LESSON ON FRIENDSHIP.
Seriously could you have thrown more cliched bullshit at me? I literally feel like Sailor Moon just schooled me on friendship while I'm waiting for Gundam to come on.

What would lead me to end a true friendship would be death because when you have a true friend all the trials that life hands down can be faced as long as we are facing them TOGETHER!

Only in death does duty end.
Wait, no, that's Warhammer.

Its every girl's dream to find a husband who's a knight in shining armor.

I found out today I am literally a knight. Two people I don't know called me "sir" and as we all know that's the title of knighthood so it must be.
But as Machiavelli said: "it is not titles that honor men but men that honor titles."
Truly he was the wisest man ever.

However, taught that to our mom's and their mom's mom is totally a deliusional. THERE IS NO KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. THERE IS NO HAPPY EVER AFTER ONCE YOU GET MARRIED.

Oh, what's this?
10,000-20,000 members, 10% of whom were knights?
I just proved historically there were at least 2000 knights.
That's ignoring all the other orders of note bopping around at the same time.
Oh right I guess you weren't talking about cool shit. Anyway, proceed.

Growing up that's what I always wanted. To find a husband who's a knight in shining armor. To be a mother and wife but unfortunetly thats not the case!

:V

I've known my Jose, my husband now for 9 years before we got married in March of 2009. Quite frankly and simple put, I never regretted anything in my life before but if there's anything I hate and regret its him. I regretted every staying in a relationship that is unfulfilling.

I'm really interested in whatever the fuck you're talking about.

But I don't know why. I still ask myself why. I've always have a nature to endure whatever hardships come my way. I simply just keep quiet to myself every pain and every sorrow I can muster.

Suddenly I'm sad I already used that line from The Inquisition War in the last entry. How did it go? "RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."

I don't know how or why but I just do. I guess its because of being treated like a low life all my life that I'm able to endure all this pain and suffering. I keep on hoping that somehow somewhere my luck would change that something's bound to give.

A foolish man puts his faith in luck. A wise man puts his faith in The Emperor.

I regretted being married to him. He's vain, selfish, arrogant, ignorant, self-centered and a pain in my life. If only I have $, I would get a divorce.
I thought that if we got married, our lives would change.

Typical dumb girl move. I'LL MARRY HIM AND CHANGE HIM :3

My 1st agenda is save $. Although Jose's my husband I'm tired of giving him everything of what is mine and yet he doesn't. The only thing he gives me $ for food and for him. He can't even give me a gift for xmas or birthday that is something that I would like.

Sue and I will never be like this.I think she has considerably more money than I do but I definitely won't forget her birthday or Christmas.

Being married to him is like being chained and imprisoned. At least a prisoner is happy behind bars.

I've met a few prisoners in my life and none of them were especially thrilled about being in jail.

I can be sure of this, IF I ever bother to get married again, I will make sure the next guy won't turn out to be like Jose.

I think I found part of your problem. "if I ever bother to get married again" like "eh, if I can be bothered to go to the Warham store I'll buy new glue but if not--"
You idiots need to realize marriage isn't just an excuse to throw a big party and look pretty. There is an afterwards.

What would you consider the worst job in the world, and why?

I liked this one a lot because the responses were basically "whatever my current job is."
But seriously my current job is the worst one in the entire world.

The goals that I want to achieve by the end of this year would be 1.) Get in shape to tone up and be healthy and 2.) be financially secure.

Oh hey, speaking of totally unrelated shit.
That's fine, really. Just say whatever you want and don't bother staying on topic.
Oh, and here's the exact same writer's block where she does answer properly.
Errr--

The worst job in the world I would say is to be president of whatever country you are from. This is the worst job in my opinion because people are never satisfied.

President of my country is on vacation in Hawaii last I checked.
I guess it depends on the president, really. I'm sure Truman wasn't having a good time during that whole WW2 and the nuke thing.

So anyways, took Michael to the nearby mall today around 1:30pm with my dad! Had lunch. He loves French Fries and as long as there's french fries he's alright. He didn't even touch his chicken nuggets lol.

SO ANYWAYS LOL I'd like to point out she mentions she's 31 at one point.
I'm cutting her some slack, though, because she is from Papua New Guinea and I don't think they speak GOD-FEARING ENGLISH there.

He wouldn't go without me anyways.

>anyways again
Nope, slack ends there.
And that is the beginning of her blog and therefore the end of this entry.
Well, to attempt to tie this meandering few pages of nonsense into some kind of conclusion:
KNOCK IT OFF WITH THIS BACKGROUND, FUCK.

DRAMA! ANGST!

LIVEJOURNAL!
I knew I was in for easy pickings when the writer's block went as such:

What's your most debilitating insecurity? Do you think you'll ever overcome it?

My most debilitating insecurity is that I am far, far too awesome to deal with a quarter of the people I do.
There is clearly an awesome limit and I have crossed it. It's like the limit break quests in FFXI. I had to gather a ton of dumb bullshit to level awesome this high.
Anyway here we have some melodramatic high school girl who's on about something.

My biggest insecurity.. My self esteem sucks. Horribly. I'd like to overcome the idea that im "worthless" and "ugly".

YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS AND WEAK.

I don't know if I can ever TRULY overcome it though. Maybe mask it, but not cure it.

You're not good enough to conquer insecurity.
I'd make a great therapist.

Study hall. Oh joy, study hall. Consisting mostly of just a teacher, and I, it's tense as hell without my ear buds shoved into my ears. It's quiet, all except for my tunes and keyboard click clack.

It's intense sitting here wanting to shop at Hot Topic all day.

Yeah, man. It's better than actually LEARNING though, so thats a plus. And, I get to sit here, on my ass for 50 minutes doing nothing but texting, typing, and bobbing my head back and forth to this and that.

>bobbing my head back and forth
HEH I'LL SAY.
Also this sounds like any other class at the school I teach at but whatever.
Learning is hard, being stupid is easy-- natural decision.

This is the source of obesity. I failed gym though, so there's nothing I can do about that.

How the fuck do you fail gym? I didn't even show up half the time and still passed.

These keyboards are practically prehistoric. This whole computer is prehistoric. There is dust all over the place, and this computer lags like a bitch. Fuck it.

I have a computer made in 1993 and it doesn't lag. I understand if you take care of things they'll work better.
It does BSOD constantly but Windows 95, what can you do?
I had totally forgotten this but when Windows 95 doesn't find an error in its index of like 2 errors it just BSODs. 95% of the time you can just press enter and it goes away.
Recovering from a BSOD just like that.
TRULY THIS IS THE FUTURE.
Also the "DOS support" is really bad on Windows 95.
It doesn't work a solid 50% of the time and if I have to do something tricky like configure Soundblaster the sound chip sounds like it's shitting itself.
God I love 90s technology.

Today, so far, has been normal. I suppose. Same douche bags being douche bags, same bitches being bitches, same academic shit, same desks, same everything. The only difference is the tension and anxiety about finals coming up. I know I'm stressing. If I don't get good grades, I get banned from seeing Tyler. So, yeah. I NEED good grades. Need them.

Banned from seeing Tyler?
NO!
Don't your parents understand you're like what's that bitches name from Twilight and Edward?
DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR ETERNAL, UNDYING LOVE?
Goddamn fuck being a teenager.

One more period to go. And then, I get to go home. And study. And call Tyler. And watch the Season Premiere of Being Human. But, first I have to get past the whole bus ride situation.

The bus is the picture of filth. Honestly. And, some of the people who ride it, aren't so different. I sit in the back, obviously. Hell knows what I'd do to the poor 6th and 7th graders who sat in the front. Probably traumatize them with my perverted wisdom?

>High school kid
>wise
HA!
Truly those who consider themselves wise are not.

I don't know. Back to my point? The assholes sit in the back. The guys who think they're too cool to be in school.

Ha, yeah. All guys who sat in the back are assholes.
Especially that one kid who sat in the fire exit seat because then he wouldn't have to sit next to anyone.
Hmm, suddenly reminded that I sat there.
Well, anyway.

Which is total bull, I know. We all know.

Weren't you just saying you hated school and how learning was dumb and pointless?
Aren't you kind of being too cool for school when you do shit like that?

So, I deal with them. And their ass-holery. Which is hard. Harder than RJ Bergers dick. But, I deal.

And other references I understand.

School is just over rated. The bus is over rated. Study Hall is over rated.

Sorry, You've heard this all before.

*Sigh* Typical teenage rants. How unoriginal.

EVERYTHING IS OVERRATED, MAN. SHUT UP. I'M A HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISTIC.

It's 6th period. Study Hall. I'm in a back room located somewhere in my school, with TWO other people. Aren't there supposed to be more people in Study Halls? There is some junior chick, the teacher, and me. It's so awkward and quiet. Thank god I have my head phones right? Without them, I'm sure I'd die from the tension.

90% of all comedy is borne of awkward silences I think.

Only sound I hear is Jawbreaker's song Million and the click clack of the keyboard. These keyboards suck. Along with the actual computer, it's practically prehestoric.

Didn't I already read this?
I don't need to work so hard on these updates. Just copy and paste old ones and update the musical references and I'm good to go.
Speaking of musical references: I made the horrific mistake a week ago of clicking on some Korean words on Youtube. It lead to a song that has BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE.
But since I don't understand any of the words it just kind of comes out WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS whenever I start humming it to myself.
Fucking hell.
Oh well I guess that's my mistake for clicking anything Korean on Youtube and assuming it'll lead to anything but PAIN.
Maybe it's like The Ring and I just have to pass it on to someone else.
I'll be sure to ambush one of my friends on MSN with it tonight.

Oh well. My day has gone by very... fast? I can't necessarily say that because It went at a medium sort of pace.

All days bleed into one
BLEED LIKE THE BLACK OIL FROM MY WRISTS
I guess this isn't that emo as it is melodramatic and dumb.

Bre has been my closest chick friend since 6th grade. She's in nearly all of my classes, and she has the ability to make even the most boring science assignment interesting. But, today she was gone. She didn't answer back my texts so I suspect she's in Illinois. Her cousin is dying. He was an alchoholic and his system is now shutting down. He's neutral, but they are guessing he is going to pass soon. I wish the whole family luck. Get better soon, Andy!

>get better
>he's dying
Not the right thing to say, I think.

I just cannot wait until tomorrow. It's thursday today but It feels like a friday, so I acted like it was. I did practically NO work today. None. My mind wasn't focused on school work whatsoever today. I was thinking about Tyler, Bre, the bus ride home, my music, my bladder, my cell phone, Study Hall.. just all this random shit that isn't even slightly close to being academic.

You know I have to give her some credit. Her grammar is orders better than the average idiot.

I still have approximately 30 minutes left until class is over. Shit. How much more bored could I be?! Damn. I'd surf the web, but certain sites are blocked due to "Mature Content" so I don't even try anymore.

Ha, ha the school filter stops you from browsing the internet.
GIRLS AND TECHNOLOGY, AM I RIGHT?
I remember when I was in school we just used a proxy. Nothing fancy.

I was born on May 8th, 1996.

I remember 1996.
So let's see, that makes you 14.
Yeah, gotta give it to you. Your grammar is orders better than any of the idiots I teach and they're your age.

Maybe people just don't like me because they're afraid?

Yeah, afraid of your scrawny ass.

Haha. Bull. That's what my shrinks have been telling me from day one. "Oh, honey. They're just jealous of you." Aww. How sweet. My parents are paying you to sugar coat my life? I don't think so.

You know what'd make this a lot more interesting? If it read like that scene from The Inquisition War.

I didn't realize it until about 2 months ago but.. Shit. There are so many people in my school who I just want to smoosh knowledge and understanding into their brain with a 3 inch thick paddle.

Yeah, see? Instead of that dumb shit it could read like this:

"WE ARE CURIOUS," came a mighty anguished thought which itself transcended time. "WE HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR INTRUSION INTO OUR SANCTUARY, OUR ANTRUM AND ADYTUM.

"My lord." Jaq sank to his knees. "I beg to report to you before I am destroyed. I may have uncovered a major conspiracy-"

"THEN WE WILL STRIP YOUR SOUL BARE. RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."

"WE HAVE PUT BACK WHAT WE TOOK AND TASTED, INQUISITOR"

"WE ARE MANY, INQUISITOR"

"HOW ELSE COULD WE ADMINISTER OUR IMPERIUM-"

"AS WELL AS WINNOW THE WARP-"

"HOW ELSE?"

That'd be amazing. Oh well, probably best it doesn't read like that because then I'd have this update about this AWESOME BLOG I JUST FOUND.

One kid hates me because I'm bisexual. One hates me because according to him, I'm "emo". One hates me because I'm friends with a certain person.

Yeah but see, instead of that it'd read like this:

"WE ARE AN EVER WATCHFUL LORD, ARE WE NOT? DID YOU HOPE TO GAIN OUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION?"

"HOW ELSE SHOULD WE SOUL-BIND PSYKERS AND OVERVIEW THE WARP AND BEAM THE ASTRONOMICAN BEACON AND SURVIVE AND RECEIVE INFORMATION AND GRANT AUDIENCES ALL AT ONCE, UNLESS WE ARE MANY?"

"AND YET STILL WE MISS SO MUCH, SO VERY MUCH? SUCH AS THAT WHICH GUIDED YOU HERE"

The Emperor of Mankind is so hardcore he talks in all caps. Also he refers to himself as "we" because he's literally multiple people in the same body. That must get really awkward.

Shit. Get to know me. I imagine you'd like me if you sat down, put all my difficulties aside and just TALKED to me.

Yeah, except-- no.

I'd appreciate it. But, instead they ridicule me because I'm not the average straight, perky, boring, *perfect* bitch. I'm not saying that anybody who is straight, and perky are bitches, necessarily. Just, most of the straight and perky girls I know are bitches. No stereotyping. I swear to jeebus.

I've made several key decisions about your character I feel you can agree with:
A. You are 14.

B. You are decidedly not a delicious brown or yellow girl

C. You are a melodramatic attention whore

Therefore I have decided I never want to hear from you. Fortunately for you one of these things will cure itself, one will never ever be cured and one might be if you worked at it, which you won't.
GRIM FUTURE. Also I like how you cry "stereotyping" but when you do it it's somehow the truth. That's a neat trick I'll have to try sometime.

People generally take one look at me and judge me on the way I look. They look at my big nose (which I'm not ashamed of), my eyeliner, my skinnies, my nikes, my mis-matching earrings and they JUDGE me.

Judge you the same way I have rendered judgment across hundreds of blogs. Hundreds of blogs, millions of words, and yet all the same.

That's all people do these days. Not all people, no. But, most people in my school think judging is a hobby.

It is a fun hobby, yes. Seriously, age a couple years and somehow transform into a DBG and we can talk shop. Until then, keep your crazy shit to yourself.