Dear Assholes

Dear Annie it is this Friiiiiiiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaaay Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight muthafuckas

Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and he moved in six months ago. "John" is 25 years older than I am. 

Found the issue.
If I was dating someone 25 years my junior I'd be dating a 1 year old.
Think about it, won't you?

John was forced into retirement last year, and I think he somehow blames me. I work full time, take care of two teenage boys, cook dinner every night, do dishes and laundry, clean the bathrooms, buy the groceries and pay the bills. John sweeps and vacuums and does the yard work, which is a godsend because I have had shoulder issues that make these things difficult for me. 

Sounds like you're just together.
I've learned in life that most people can't choose their significant other with any sort of ability so it sounds like you got off easy.
I don't care about this.

Dear Annie: I recently missed my 10-year high school reunion. I found out it was held in August, and I was never invited because I am not on Facebook.

Good.
Who would want to revisit those jackoffs anyhow?
I don't understand.
Anyone I'd want to see at a high school reunion wouldn't be caught dead at one anyway.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Waiting," who doesn't like it when the bank tellers chitchat with the customers. I enjoy the personal touch and suggest that those who don't use the ATM instead.

As a man who spent the last two days on a quest to get two documents notarized and two envelopes mailed I can tell you that shit gets old fast. I'm not going to point any fingers here but when it's two women doing a transaction you might as well get in the other line even if it's out the door and around the block because that one is going to die down faster.

Dear Annie: My husband and I frequently go out to dinner with several other couples. One of the wives is a vegetarian. That's fine, but she sometimes makes a scene with the server. She argues about the way things are prepared and accuses the waitstaff of lying. 

I've been watching a lot of Kitchen Nightmares lately and I've learned a lot about cooking and how to run a restaurant and I can tell you she's probably right but because she's acting like a cunt she should probably be thrown out.

Dear Annie: In 1988, I had a wife and three beautiful children. Then my wife decided to be "liberated." She wanted to spread her wings and be independent. She engaged me in a particularly acrimonious divorce and lived on child and spousal support until she discovered that being independent was not working for her. She remarried and moved my children hundreds of miles away, effectively excising them from my life, even though she admits I was a great father. Needless to say, I harbor considerable animosity toward her.

As well you should.
I mean goddamn.

I've since remarried a wonderful woman. My children are grown and starting their own families. I recognize that I must endure the unpleasantness of having to see my ex at my children's weddings, etc., but I never expected that my brother and sister would invite my ex to their own children's weddings and other family functions.

I feel that because my ex divorced me, she is no longer a part of my family and should not be invited to attend family gatherings

That's a tough one because she's your children's mother--
I dunno man.
Look I know this won't help you too much but as I've advocated numerous times I think it is clear where you made your mistake.

I have made this point very clear to my siblings, along with the fact that seeing my ex causes me significant pain. Further, my new wife feels she's being upstaged by my ex at these events. Yet, my siblings insist on including this woman.
Is it unrealistic for me to believe that when my ex divorced me, she also divorced my family? Am I expecting too much to ask that my siblings not embrace the woman who devastated my life? — Divorced in Oregon 

You know maybe it's a good thing. I personally believe you can't come out on top without facing a lot of misery in your life.
Look at Caesar during his Gallic years.
That must have been a shit time. On campaign all the time in barbaric France/Germany/Spain kinda area we're not really sure what that is and then he decides maybe he could do better by conquering all of Rome and liberating it from the corrupt senate and so he did.
Then he got stabbed a few times on March 15, 44 BC but let's not talk about that.
Dear Oregon: Sorry to say, but what your siblings do is not something you can dictate. Their children may still consider this woman to be their aunt, and their relationship to her does not include the bitterness and rancor you are hanging onto.
Please let it go. Allowing your ex to rattle you after all these years gives her power over you. You don't have to enjoy her company, but you can work on making her presence insignificant.
Don't let go of your hate, man.
That's what makes you strong.

Dear Annie: My wife and I recently married. The wedding was in Texas, but most of our family lives elsewhere. Although we were disappointed, we understood that many folks would be unable to attend due to the travel and hotel costs.
Here's the problem. Not one of these relatives sent so much as a card, let alone a gift.

No one cares two people got married. They'll probably be divorced in 6 months anyway.
Don't use your wedding as an excuse to jerk yourself off, throw a big party and treat it like a fundraiser.
Maybe treat it like exactly what it is.
A legally binding contract.
Only when you are adult enough to acknowledge this reality then you can get married.
I'd have a quiz before a wedding. "Why are you getting married?"
"To express our love for each other!"
"Oh shit better luck next time, kids. Time to pack this tent up."

In the past few years, we have attended several family events and always gave gifts.

 "A gift or a present is an object given without the expectation of payment."
Says Wikipedia.
Now we all know reciprocity with presents is the polite thing to do but most people can't disgorge their heads from their ass long enough to do anything about this.

Dear Confused: Many people feel that if they did not attend the event, they do not need to send a gift, although a card with good wishes is always proper. But please do not treat your wedding as a fundraiser. While a gift is welcome and appropriate, it should not be the point of the invitation. And gifts may still be forthcoming. We hope they will extend their good wishes, but you cannot demand that they do so.  

Thank you, Annie, but I got this one.

My supervisor rarely states his desires clearly. But if I take the initiative or ask him to clarify, he makes me feel like an idiot. He is condescending and highly critical of most people. He also is a nonstop gossip. He has portrayed me to others as racist, womanizing and incompetent. 

Who hasn't been depicted as these things?
I'm dead serious.
They're easy things to push.
Also just do this to him.
How many places with a notary public should a man have to go to before he can get two documents notarized?
I'd think one.
The answer, of course, was seven.
Thank you, NC, for your remarkable efficiency.
No wonder this state is shit for the birds.
Can't even get a semi-literate cretin to stamp a paper.

Dear Annie: Why do people make a big deal out of men who are crossdressers?
I am 43 years old, happily married and not gay. I'm a businessman, and I wear lacy lingerie with breast forms under my suits every day.

Holy shit dude
What the fuck
Suddenly I see why I'm doing so well on Wallstreet Magnate. This is what I'm competing against. I'm sitting in my underwear, miserable and eating Cap'n Crunch competing with this guy who has given up on life.
How can you make the trades if you have frilly panties on?
I'm so filled with hate when I click buy I can barely see.
YEAH
CHINA MOBILE.
THE HATE HAS SEEN IT.

My beautiful wife of 20 years thinks I look hot in lingerie. When we go out to fancy restaurants, I dress up as a woman. I'm very passable, and our four teenage daughters are OK with it.  

BRO.
CHINA MOBILE.
CHINA MOBILE IS GOING TO CUT A DEAL WITH APPLE. GET ON THIS TRAIN NOW.
Nope can't be a businessman because he's too busy going to dinner in a dress.
Give me your money. I can do more with it than you can.

There are straight women who wear men's clothing, and I never hear anything negative about them.

Yeah there are. They know what it means to be in business.
Here let's do a little thought experiment.
You need to conduct business/buy stocks/sell shit/whatever this man does.
Who do would you trust more to give reliable advice?

Or:

 Go on. Think about it.

Dear Happy: Women who wear men's clothing generally do so because it is more comfortable. Men who wear women's clothing, which is decidedly less comfortable, often do so because it gives them a sexual thrill or satisfies some emotional need. (Some women dress like men for the same reasons.) The important thing is that your wife and daughters are OK with it. No one else's opinion matters.

If you haven't seen the show Profit (which is the top image) you really should because it's 5/5 bretty good :DDDDDD
Jesus Christ.
Well so ends another session of assholes with problems.
Song of the now?