ADVENT

Oh boy Christmas falls on a Wednesday this year.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck offffff.
Already the entries are shit like "hurrr Christmas shopping" and Wednesday is going to be absolutely insufferable with the Christmas fanfic about Sherlock fucking Watson on Christmas.
Anyway let's do this shit.

Fender bender at Target today. :| I would normally never go into a parking lot just a couple of days before Christmas, but Dad asked if I could pick up some Tupperware for Melissa (this is actually a good present), so I did ... and as I was backing out, someone else backed into me. Because their corner hit the side of my car, I think it's pretty clear that I was further out when they bumped me, at least.

lol women driving cars

But knowing some of the inner workings of insurance makes me REALLY UNEAGER to get involved in the whole reporting, even though I know I have to.

So don't?
You don't have to tell your insurance company diddly dick.
Let's read her "possibly controversial" opinion of Christianity.

1. I looove Christmas. The Christmas spirit, Christmas specials, the idea that there's ~something about this time of year~. Thick snow on the ground, curling up in the warm.

HOLY SHIT
CONTROVERSY
 EASY THERE I MIGHT CUT MYSELF ON THOSE EDGES.

2. I'm so not Christian, I'm not sure that there even was an historical Jesus (the fact that most of the scholars saying that no serious scholar would question his realness anymore appear to be Christian doesn't help) and think that if there were he was probably about 10% of what Bible!Jesus is. So very much not Christian.

Have I ever told you how much I hate the thing!name thing?
Biblical Jesus. Just say that. Don't get douchey with the bullshit fanfiction speak.

3. I am actually sort of embarrassed when people talk about Jesus. Not quite sure why. It's not a condescending embarrassment, like I think people should stop because it's wrong or anything.

 Wow this argument is fucking garbage.
I can't believe this needed a cut.
This is controversial?
Show some fucking passion.

4. I always have this TREMENDOUS cloud of guilt over the whole thing because Christmas's overwhelming of December obviously provokes discussion of Christian-centricity and privilege. I am clearly privileged in that my holiday of choice is the loudest and most powerful one, but ... because I'm not Christian and I choose to celebrate it (if one can be said to choose to celebrate a holiday that one's entire family celebrates) ... I don't even know what I want to say here, I just feel conflicted and like I'm sideways-Christian and have to consider myself a follower of Jesus even though (2). Why do I always have so much guilt and anxiety about everything?

5. Bella's church play was terrible even for a children's church play, and I realize that the original script had snowflakes in circles replacing the Os, but when your program reads "Sn*wflake C*unty" seeing the obvious does not mean I have a "dirty mind".

Woooooow.
So your opinion on Christianity is:
You're not a Christian but you celebrate Christmas.
WELCOME TO HALF OF AMERICA YOU STUPID CUNT.
It took you five (5) bullet points to reach that shocking conclusion never before reached by the mind of man.
You couldn't even manage an edgy atheist view?
Here let me give you a controversial opinion, then, since I feel bad for anyone reading this. I know I didn't sell it but at some point you were promised controversy.
Monotheism is poisonous and society was better off Pagan.
There.

My interview today went really well! I asked one of the questions that are supposed to be the right ones ("What's your ideal candidate for this job?" - answer, basically how I'd described myself, yes) and semi-lied about how I could see myself still there in 2-5 years. It's just a mail room job, and only for a couple of months, but I think I'd be suited.

>Semi-lied (what)
>said you'd stay 2-5 years
>only planning on staying months
No that'd just be a regular lie, idiot.

Somehow I've ended up browsing Amazon's "historical fiction about women in tumultuous periods of English history" section again. 

And science fiction and fantasy are still under the umbrella "scifi/fantasy" category.
Life ain't fair, man.

Okay, um. I suppose now I can claim a lot of cred because I have seen all of the following arguments:
- If you ship slash, you are disgusting and perverting the text and the obviously straight characters.
- If you don't ship slash, you are boring and unimaginative.
- If you don't ship slash, you are homophobic and ignoring the obvious subtext.
- If you ship slash, you are disgusted by women and hate all female characters (and yourself).
- If you ship slash, you are fetishizing gay men and are terrible.
- If you ship femslash, you are actually a liar because you don't. You only pretend to in order to look good.

WHY GOD WHY. How does anyone even have energy for this anymore? 

Who cares?
Who has the energy for this?
Certainly not me.
Like you're just writing shitty fanfiction because you're a no talent hack with no imagination. Just everyone play nice in your no-creativity world and enjoy it.

Yesterday I got the trifecta of bad.

Trifecta of bad?
Phantasy Star Universe with Bruce Sprinsteen album playing and you're trapped in Texas?
Because unless someone put a gun to your head and said "do this shit motherfucker" this is entirely your fault.
No one makes you play Phantasy Star Universe.
And admittedly I still have Vietnam war-tier flashbacks to how shit it is but you know.
I'll survive.

Sexism! "I don't know how those girls can call rape when they dress the way they do."

Oh.

Racism! [On a kid in Albany who picked up an abandoned gun in a vacant lot and accidentally shot himself in the hand, and his relatives talking on YNN.] "What do they think, living in places like that? Move out of that neighborhood!"

How is that racism?
Shit neighborhood. Leave.

Classism! ... Damn, I forgot the specifics for this one. Anti-Obamacare stuff. (YNN's been running a thing about how NY is starting to implement it for people who make less than $45k. I may be eligible for Medicaid!) It was there, though. It's actually there just about every day.

As a man who makes no money whatsoever I am anti-Obamacare.
This is weak.
That is not the trifecta of bad that I know.

Yup, getting involved in another argument on Jezebel about historical fashion. This is my life now, objecting nerdily when people say corsets cause health problems or Chanel blah blah blah THERE ARE BETTER NON-NAZI FEMINIST FASHION ICONS OUT THERE

Woooooow arguing on feminist blogs about historical fashion.
So cool.

A blog this gay deserves a very homosexual song of the now.
I'm stopping this entry here incidentally. I can't handle talks about Victorian fashion and feminism.
Like who gives a shit, honestly?