THIS SUMMER

A BINT NAMED NEMO_R IN
NEM_R' S BLOG
PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
RATED PG-13 FOR GENERAL DOUCHEBAGGERY.

I find the line between meta and literary criticism quite tough.

You think you live on the edge, rookie?
The fine line between justice and crime?
The fine line between order and chaos?
You're nowhere close.
You're scum.
You're a loose cannon.
Now get the fuck out of my office.

I think maybe I tend to include all media (film/tv) criticism because, well, the majority of it is fandom. If you get media/tv crit online, chances are it comes from a fanblog. Because mainstream critics have this snobbish attitude towards caring too much about 'just tv'. You review it and that's that. But books you can critique. Because literature is REAL ART. But with lit crit I feel like it's getting too close to the aca side of acafan, or just too 'mainstream' crit, not fan crit?

What the fuck are you talking about you fucking nutjob?
aca in acafan?
What the fuck?
Here's a post entitled "I think I'm doing fanfic wrong." which is very true.
If you are doing fanfic at all you are, in fact, doing it wrong.

Do you think, if there was an alien invasion, fandom would get online and update people. Like, warn people. "Yes, this shit is going down in my corner of the world as well."

Do you think you'd contact all those random people you have in your gchat contacts who you emailed once when you were 17 and never spoke to again?

I think if my first response is through a fanfiction community we get whatever we have coming to us as a species.
Like yeah.
The military?
Diplomacy?
Other government agencies?
Nah, asleep at the switch.
Dumb twats that overreact to Dr. Who episodes will clearly be on top of any first contact scenarios.

If they looked and sounded human, do you think you'd guess it was an alien invasion as oppose to some sort of spectacularly organised military coup.

I think
someone might notice an alien invasion.
Admittedly humans tend not to see the obvious shit but I suspect an alien invasion would be somewhat noticeable. 

Or IDK, terrorist coup. It's not really terrorist modus operandi, to try and take over the world.

I suspect an alien culture, no matter how humanoid they looked, would still be obvious.
Ignoring the fact they wouldn't speak any known earth language (a big tip off) if you took an iPod to the 1960s no one would know what the fuck.
And that's a product of our own culture.
An alien culture would produce artifacts even more alien than that.

What would be the most efficient way of colonising an entire planet? Take out the military I guess. I mean, setting aside any sort of mind-control equipment because that's cheating. Maybe some sort of subversive behind the scenes replacing of the political leaders would be better?

Any civilization capable of faster than light travel could and would wipe you out before you even knew what was happening.
To think we are worthy of a ground invasion by an alien civilization capable of plying the stars is desperately egotistical. 

OH MY GOD I HATE THE NEW TUMBLR REBLOGGING POST WINDOW THING. SO FUCKING MUCH.

SO MUCH.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE SHITTY INTERNET. WHY WOULD YOU BASE YOUR PLATFORM ON FUCKING FLASH-LIKE AWFULNESS?

LOOK AT YOUR LIFE CHOICES. JUST LOOK AT THEM.

FUCK YOU TOO.

It is 2013.
People are usually ok with Flash.
Time to get with the program.

FANTINE: OH FANTINE. CRYING CRYING CRYING. WHYYYYYYYYY. FANTINE GAVE ME ALL THE FEELS. I WANT HAPPY ENDINGS. MAKE IT HAPPEN. CHANGE IT NOW. IT'S TOO SAD. So I see why fandom would slash the Valjean/Javert. I should be slashing it. Hate ships, cop/con etc. Only... FANTINE/VALJEAN, GIVE ME ALL THE MISSED OPPORTUNITY TRAGIC LOVE. ALL OF IT. OMFG SHE APPEARED TO HIM AS HE WAS DYING. HE CARRIED HER AWAY FROM THE DOCK. THEY WERE SO FUCKING GORGEOUS I CAN'T BREATHE. I'm not even kidding. I walked away from the movie with epic het feels. FAAAAAAANTIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. And Hathaway was great and deserved all the awards and I LOVE HER.

Oh Jesus God why
that is too much out of you on a permanent basis.
But this entry just started so I have to keep going.
I guess this is a space marine's superhuman conditioning.

EPONINE: OH EPONINE. MORE CRYING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU VICTOR HUGO? WHY DO YOU HATE ME? SHE DIED FOR HER LOVE. SHE GAVE HIM THE LETTER. SHE SCREAMED TO SAVE COSETTE AND VALJEAN DESPITE EVERYTHING. SHE'S SO FUCKING TRAGIC I HATE IT ALL.

You saw a movie
called Les Miserables
and wondered why it was sad?
THE MISERABLE.
It's a book
named The Miserable.
And you're wondering why it's sad?
What the fuck did you expect?
Victor Hugo to say "ha, ha, no, just kidding. This one's for you, retarded cunt who can't handle tragedy."
Dumbass..

Between the legal/copyright OTW thing and the objectification/posting pics of actors, thing. It's made me realise. Tumblr fannish culture really is a different animal to LJ/DW fannish culture.

Can't you just like stuff?
Why do you have to like the fans who like stuff?
I love Warhammer.
Cannot stand your typical Warhammer fan.

Or my personal favourite: It's my "time of the month" when I'm "not at my best" because my "vagina is bleeding"

Perhaps the most common theme in blogs.
Telling me all about you being on your period.

Transient fandoms.

I feel like, back in the day it was all monofandoms/long term fandoms: X files or Xena or Buffy or Due South etc. But now, most fans I know are multi-fannish, and, in terms of my approach, I definitely feel the NEW SERIES! lift and the NEW FILM COMING OUT! lift. It's all YAY Star Trek, and then that slumps a bit then YAY XMFC then that slumps then YAY Avengers then that slumps and then OH YEAH STAR TREK AGAIN. 

Lol marketing shit to women.

Reading fic with characters who are teachers. Instead of criticising the writing elements (OOCness or showing/telling etc,) I'm finding fault in their teaching style. (What? No. STOP OVER-EXPLAINING THINGS, MY GOD. JUST SHUT UP AND TEACH THEM.)

This teaching lark has clearly gone too far.

Oh Christ.
Are you in charge of children for 8 hours a day?
I don't think
that's a good idea.

I go round thinking Teen Wolf is this nice but silly wolf show and then it cracks out something utterly, vicious and gruesome and I'm SCARRED I TELL YOU. SCARRED.

SNAKE + EYE = BRAIN SCARRING. NO THANK YOU.

Also Matt's death. Man, that was fucking harsh. Intentionally I'm sure, but still. This show throws serious punches.

Have you ever considered that if there was some great conspiracy theory to control people they wouldn't have to work as hard as crazy conspiracy theorists seem to think they do?
Like false flag operations and putting illuminati symbols in music videos and that crap?
Just put some dumb fucking show on TV and it's literally all people can talk about.
How many blogs have I read exactly like this?
Don't watch TV, people.
Don't let that infest your brain.
I know I play a lot of video games so that seems hypocritical and whatever but seriously look at this garbage.
Here's a review of Prometheus.
A movie that involved H.R. Giger.
That means disturbing imagery and body horror.
This somehow offends our snowflake.
Like what'd you expect would happen?

The sexual imagery seemed a lot more explicit than in the other movies (IT'S A TENTACLE VAGINA. WITH TEETH. AND A PENIS. ALSO THERE ARE PENIS EELS.)

Yeah that's what he does.
It's supposed to make you uncomfortable.
I personally own two books of his art but that's just me.

Not sure about the turning of female-centric mother/daughter creation storylines, into an -- 'ultimately our creators are these 6 foot manly men.' -- (Okay so we don't know they were male, but certainly looked it. Just like we don't know there weren't scores of female dead under the armour - but all we saw was male so that is the message we take away from it.) 

...
He was delusional.
At one point he's asking a writhing alien scorpion penis snake whether he was God.
He was nuts.

And yes, we do get Shaw and her baby drama (body horror y/y?), so the female aspect isn't entirely cut out, but for a franchise that was so focused on female mother/child themes, at least in two out of the four movies, to suddenly have 'THE GUYS WERE THE CREATORS'. It felt a bit off.

>Females are the creators
>alien biology that involves acid spitting aliens eating humans or using their penis tongues to inject eggs into your stomach
Yeah not sure you want this to be some ra-ra feminist moment because the only interpretation I can come away with from this is women want suck the life out of you to have babies.
Anyway I must go
my people need me