the plague thing

I still have the plague.
It has been like two fucking weeks.
So, sorry for not updating lately but I've also finally crossed that threshold where I'm well enough to teach school again but not well enough for it not to make me fucking miserable.
So that's kind of what's been up all week. Just me doing the school thing then coming home and praying for a release from this mortal coil.
Anyway let's do this.
If I have one last action I want it to be something pointless like this blog.

Typical cyberbullies. Talk all the shit in the world, then go suspiciously silent when one-upped.

Put it down as the latest in a long line of effortless wins for me.

>arguing on the internet
>winning
Nope.

If one more waste of blood from the Tea Party uses the term “Real America/ Americans” to describe small, conservative-leaning rural towns and the populace thereof, I am going to kick them through a jet engine. Forgive me for reviving a phrase that went out with whalebone corsets and the minuet, but how DARE you? 

Wow imagine if you had real problems.
Like no, seriously. What if you had a problem beyond the word choice of others?
Can you imagine how much more complex your life might be?
Like imagine if you're just me and you have to teach middle school while under the weather.
Do you have any idea how much worse my problem is?
If we were to compare problems it'd be like not having a problem to starving in Africa.
And I'm not trying to act like a badass here. My problem is barely a problem-- if I weren't sick I'd be riding high.
What passes for decent pay in 2013--
doing well at my job--
not too difficult--
but even still it's like a serious thing I have to reckon with. What's your problem in life?
Nothing.

DANIELLE: One thing that really aggravates me about fandoms--ANY fandom--is the pointless quest to milk every relationship between two characters--be it respectful, hostile, protective, or parasitic--for sexual tension.  

>Giving a shit about fandoms
Well there's your problem.
I don't get this desire to network with other people that share similar interests.
I hate other fans of Warhammer and Final Fantasy. I cannot think of people I'd rather be around less than the people that share my hobbies.
Warhammer fans in particular are annoying.
They miss the point of it entirely.
How can you be interested in something for decades and miss the message they've carefully constructed and told you literally hundreds of times in various forms?
Warhammer is a multimedia empire that spans across books, boardgames, video games, movies, audio dramas and comic books and it has maybe 15 messages total.
How can you not know all 15?
THE ULTIMATE FUTILITY OF STRUGGLE
THE DAMNATION OF MANKIND AND THE FORGOTTEN GOLDEN AGE
SOCIETY'S TENDENCY TO REGRESS TO NIHILISM
HOW CAN YOU MISS THIS SHIT?

NATALIE: Total truth. You see it in every single fandom in existence, though. Now, I will be the first to say there are a few shows out there that absolutely play with their slash audience, totally intentionally and are blatantly feeding them--but not every relationship that is deep translates to a sexual relationship, IMO. And I think a lot of members of fandoms are really screwing their own heads reading them that way. Is that what you think love looks like? Really?

That's why Warhammer will be safe from fanfiction writers and women in general at least until Games Workshop changes hands.
It is probably the least romantic fictional universe ever.
I remember thinking it was shocking and out of place in Helsreach when a character admitted he had feelings for another one.
Note they were never in a scene together and she died by the end of the book.

DANIELLE: Could not have said it better. Seriously. Yes, there are characters that lend themselves to ships and slashing. Kimber and Stormer from Jem!, my girl-girl OTP,

Meanwhile in Warhammer this is the kind of dialogue you're dealin' with:
"WE ARE CURIOUS," came a mighty anguished thought which itself transcended time. "WE HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR INTRUSION INTO OUR SANCTUARY, OUR ANTRUM AND ADYTUM.

"My lord." Jaq sank to his knees. "I beg to report to you before I am destroyed. I may have uncovered a major conspiracy-"

"THEN WE WILL STRIP YOUR SOUL BARE. RELAX, MORTAL MAN, OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE IN SUCH PAIN AS WE ALWAYS ENDURE."
 Emperor of Man is so hardcore he can only be properly represented through CAPSLOCK.
It's seriously one of the greatest scenes in science fiction.

NATALIE: Never, ever, EVER got Harry/Draco. Likewise with Harry/Snape. There was definitely more to their relationship, but it sure as hell wasn't sexual. Makes no sense to me. I love the derivative nature of fanfic and I think it's brilliant as a social experiment and a growing art form. 

Art form.
"PERHAPS IN A PART OF US, SINCE THE HYDRA PROMISES A PATH?"

"SURELY A MALEVOLENT PATH; FOR HOW COULD HUMANITY EVER FREE ITSELF?"

"THEN WE MUST BE MALEVOLENT TOO. FOR WE HAVE EXPELLED OUR SENTIMENTALITY LONG AGO. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ENDURED? HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE IMPOSED OUR RULE?"

"YET BY VIRTUE OF THAT WE ARE PURE AND UNCONTAMINATED BY WEAKNESS. WE ARE GRIM SALVATION."

"NOTHING THAT SAFEGUARDS HUMANITY CAN BE EVIL, NOT EVEN THE MOST STRENUOUS INHUMANITY. IF THE HUMAN RACE FAILS IT HAS FAILED FOREVER."

"WHEN WE CONFRONTED THE CORRUPTED, HOMICIDAL HORUS WHO ONCE USED TO SHINE LIKE THE BRIGHTEST STAR, WHO USED TO BE OUR BELOVED FAVOURITE - WHEN THE FATE OF THE GALAXY HUNG BY A THREAD - WERE WE NOT COMPELLED TO EXPEL ALL COMPASSION? ALL LOVE? ALL JOY? THOSE WENT AWAY. HOW ELSE COULD WE HAVE ARMOURED OURSELVES? EXISTENCE IS TORMENT, A TORMENT THAT MUST NOURISH US. EVIDENTLY WE MUST STRIVE TO BE THE FIERCE REDEEMER OF MAN, YET WHAT WILL REDEEM US?"

"Great Lord of All, did you know of the Hydra before now?" Jaq asks.

"YET SURELY WE KNEW. HOW COULD WE NOT KNOW?"

"ONCE WE HAVE ANALYSED THE INFORMATION WITHIN THIS SUB-MIND OF OURS."

"HEAR THIS, JAQ DRACO: ONLY TINY PORTIONS OF US CAN HEED YOU, OTHERWISE WE NEGLECT OUR IMPERIUM, OF WHICH OUR SCRUTINY MUST NOT FALTER FOR AN INSTANT. FOR TIME DOES NOT HALT EVERYWHERE WITHIN THE REALM OF MAN. INDEED TIME ONLY HALTS FOR YOU."
When fanfiction produces dialogue of this caliber we'll talk.

Brain, I love you. No, really. We've had our battles: you're really good at sabotaging my sleep and really bad at navigating writer's block. And I know that you and my heart can only communicate through a neutral mediator. But--since the subject of movie scores came up yesterday--if I could dedicate a song to you right now, it would be the Superman theme. Just because you're such a superior model to the majority of others I encounter day after day after night after day, I'm half-convinced you're some kind of mutation. If so, I worship the gamma rays or toxic waste that came in contact with you.

Wow.
There it is.
The ubermensch.
This bint.
This is what the Nazis were working for.

TODAY'S EPIPHANY: My specific style of humour is pretty much useless. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the only one laughing.

And yeah, this has damaged my ego a little bit. There, I said it.

AKA "I'm not funny" .
Also this woman is American.
Just spellin' shit the British way because.
Because fuck you I'm going to be affected.

To Whomever it May Concern:

So no one--

Maybe the USA will become a theocracy.

2007 called.
It was looking for its buzzwords and irrational fears.
This woman is 34, incidentally.
Anyway my willpower is fading fast.
Hopefully Friday I'll be normal.