Hope your score cards are revved up and you're seated comfortably.
I am sick and tired of being closeted. I am sick and tired of not being able to be my whole self except around a select group of friends.
Uh-huh. Can you hurry this along because I'm kind of tired and I started this a lot later than I meant to.
I am sick and tired of having to pretend that all the people who I am dating/seeing in some capacity outside of the chronologically first one aren't important to me and don't have significance in my life outside of friendship.
Can't believe I blew my TERA wad last post. What am I going to go off topic about today?
These people matter to me beyond the societally accepted bounds of friendship. They are my chosen family and in some cases also my dates, lovers, and partners. Even if it never amount to anything beyond friendship, that friendship is beyond words. I love them each in many and varied ways.
Who cares?
I need to come out again--this time as poly. It needs to happen, even if it is just to my parents and accepting friends outside of my chosen family. I feel like I am making an excuse, and maybe I am, but I don't know if I can comfortably do it while I am still slightly dependent on my parents. It would kill me to lose them and their support, but this is something I need to do, and I need to do it soon.
As poly.
Of course.
Hey just because you're a whore doesn't mean you need a special title.
I'm poly. My only completely monogamous relationship felt uncomfortable to me, quite restricting. My sister is mono.
OH GOD YES MORE LABELS TO AFFIX TO MY BODY.
GIVE ME THINGS TO CALL MYSELF OH YES I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A REFRIGERATOR WITH WORD MAGNETS STUCK ON ME FUCK YEAAAAAAH.
However, I suspect the same second statement may be true for her as well, at least to a certain extent, as she is a serial monogamist.
Serial monogamist.
Or slut, got it.
I find things are a lot easier when you get negative.
My mother is mono (from every indication I've ever gotten). I suspect when she was younger she was either non-monogamous or a serial monogamist. So, is this relationship non-conforming thing a matter of genetics or environment?
Whore mother, whore daughter.
Makes sense to me~
I am sick and tired of the media treating people who do not conform to one set standard of beauty as freaks, and the people who are attracted to them as abnormal, or simply something worth noting.
Fatty fat.
I read an article today that was all about how interracial marriage was on the rise and it's the first time it has hit 10%+ ever and how it'll probably go right back down and the whole jist of the article was how quaint the whole notion was.
Did I get butthurt?
Of course not. "Good," thought I, "more brown girls for me."
I've tried to bring the ignorant masses to wisdom, as weak and unworthy as they are.
Just like Jesus Christ.
I am no fashion model, not even a plus-sized one. Nor do I wish to be. I do love seeing people with a body-type similar to mine in the media, especially if it is done in a 100% respectful manner. But I look at the pictures and I wonder where the ones are that represent my friends' body types.
No one wants to see Amerifats in Vogue.
I am not skinny, by any extent of the imagination. I have not been in the "normal" weight section of the BMI for as long as I can recollect (problems with using BMI aside).
There is only one problem with BMI and it only pertains to people like Sylvester Stallone.
Or in the off chance your bones are infused with ceramic like Space Marines I guess but I'm guessing your average Space Marine would weigh something in the neighborhood of 700-800 pounds before armor so I doubt he gives a shit about nonsense like BMI.
The problem, of course, is BMI only takes mass into account (of course) so will call very muscular people obese when they clearly aren't.
That's when you employ something called common sense.
To be there, I would have to drop somewhere between 25 and 30 pounds.
I did something today I hadn't done in a while: I was trolling Omegle and I ran into this girl who thought she was a hot model while being 5'4" and 180 pounds.
I informed her she was a plus sized model at best and likely she was a cocksucking liar.
Then she told me she was a size 0.
She disconnected in a huff around the time I informed her Marilyn Monroe wasn't a size 0 and weighed far less than she did and was taller.
Man, people are dumb. Call a size 20 a size 0 and suddenly everyone thinks they're skinny. I think we're sending exactly the wrong message to people.
Most of my female friends, with a few exceptions, are bigger women. Many have been struggling their whole lives to come to acceptance of their body shapes, in the face of a world that tells them they need to change.
I think I just demonstrated evidence to the contrary.
You know there are skinny women out there (a couple, I think) and they need a positive image of skinny women too. This cuts both ways.
I don't understand why fatty fats take such offense to skinny people. It's not like they're telling you that you have to be skinny. They're merely presenting a smoking hot brown girl for you to dumbly gawk at. They're not saying you can ever be this attractive, peasant.
In fact it should be a relief. You should take one look at her and say "oh thank Christ I'll never possibly be that hot so I can now enjoy all this delicious McDonald's."
What if you were potentially that hot?
You might actually have to start working for it.
But no matter what the world tells them, I think they are beautiful, each and every one of them.
Conviction and fortitude, people. Jesus Christ. Not everyone is a special snowflake.
I hate it that it seems like my life and politics should revolve around my body: the contents of my uterus, the size and shape of my limbs and torso, the diet industry telling me that my body shape is wrong, whether I can move using my legs and feet, what I can eat, etc.
So tell them to go fuck themselves.
I mean you don't hear me bitching I can't be a space marine in real life (except constantly on this blog).
MAYBE
MAYBE BEING A SPACE MARINE STARTS ON THE INSIDE, HUH?
Oh my God it happened for real.
A post where she just lists all of the labels she affixes to herself.
Check this motherfucking shit out:
My orientation is
activist, ally, amorous, ask me, BDSM, beautiful, bi-romantic, bidyke, big sister, bisexual, brunette, caring, cisgender, cuddly, curious, cute, daughter, dork, female, feminist, gender fluid, girl, huggy, intelligent, interested, introvert, kinky, LGBTQIA, lady, liberal, lover, Miss, Ms., ma'am, me, miss, open, passionate, polyamorous, polysexual, polysnuggler, pro-choice, pro-sex feminist, queer, sapiosexual, sex positive, special, submissive, switch, weird, woman
What the actual fuck?
Let's not even dwell on this because I've been joking for like 3 entries about this and it finally happened and I'm honestly not sure what to say about it.
What's a polysnuggler? Sapiosexual? How can you be both submissive and a switch?
You know what? I said I wouldn't dwell on it so let's move along.
Is it more complimentary to have a gay guy say that I was attractive and if they were straight or bi they would go after me or to have a straight guy say the same thing and actually go after me? I lean towards the former, merely because the latter happens often enough to be more annoying than complimentary.
I don't think any of these things are compliments.
In one of my paralegal classes today we had four groups (well, that's all of the groups) doing presentations on the negotiations we have been doing for more than the last month--a project that's worth approximately a third of our grade. One of the groups did their negotiation on same-sex marriage.
Oh I used to love debate time in pussy sensitivity.
None of the topics ever affected me except one time there was a debate about genetic augmentation.
Guess who didn't get in that group?
Fuck school.
With this project we were supposed to be representing clients who have a stake in the issue or a firm stance on it. The same-sex marriage group was made up of two anti-equality groups and the HRC. For one, I don't appreciate people debating an issue that may personally affect me, depending on who I choose to marry, and definitely will affect some of my good friends.
Their presentation was such bullshit, too. It was a goddamn book report.
Everyone is aware what a gene is, dipshit. The question is whether it is morally right to create people inherently superior to non-enhanced humans.
And the answer is yes. If you disagree you are a recidivist.
Of course I was literally the only person in a class of about 150 people that was strongly for enhanced humans in exclusion even to non-enhanced humans.
I guess I'm a little ahead of my time.
But then I realized that most of the issues being discussed would have deep impacts on some or another person's life.
THE FUTURE.
They also got a number of relevant facts wrong about a subject that they were supposed to know inside and out.
That happened to this group of yahoos too.
There is a difference between hybridization and augmentation, assholes.
But it's best not to dwell on incompetence.
But what really set me off was that they considered civil unions an acceptable outcome and the idea of marriage was still to be reserved for a man and a woman.
Who
cares
Cancer is still treated with radiation (the 20th century's answer to the 14th century's jar of leeches)
Women still die in childbirth for no reason other than because they do
Man is still terrestrial
The economy is in shambles
Obama wants to make money out of cheaper materials (yet another bold move that neatly mirrors the actions of the final Roman Emperors)
Armor research still lags hopelessly behind weapons research
I mean seriously people still try to block bullets with ballistic weave and ablative ceramic plates and hope they're taking on small arms fire from a long range
Our most sophisticated man portable weapon is a slug thrower
The most intelligent artificial intelligence in the world takes a good thirty seconds to navigate a pair of steps with nothing impeding its progress
But what are we debating?
THE DEFINITION OF FUCKING MARRIAGE?
I mean imagine right now if aliens invaded. Ignoring that we'd be completely fucked they'd take one look at this and say "these people are so fucking dumb they had to write down what marriage was (something they invented, no less) in case they forgot what it was!" and then promptly conclude we deserved annihilation.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that none of these people are involved in the process of innovation but I can't help but feel this detracts attention from the important issues like any of the ones I've listed.
My hand was shaking so bad it was hard to drink my tea steadily, it was that bad. I started to calm down when I asked them whether just having civil unions for all couples (opposite and same-sex) would be okay and just let churches perform whatever types of ceremonies they want and leave all the rest to the state and they clarified that that was the actual intent of their arrangement.
So I calmed down and actually enjoyed the next (and last) presentation about immigration.
Immigration would be such a simple issue if we'd just follow my simple action plan.
You can't immigrate because there are no countries anymore.
There is only Holy Terra.
Man must be unified before the crusade into space can begin because petty squabbles stymie progress.
Takes an entire nation what, like 5 years to get a couple of dipshits on the moon?
It's going to take the entire species to actually make some progress I think.
I find it hard to figure out what to say in an introduction, because there are so many things. How much do I include to make things interesting in the future?
My introductory post is still one of my favorites.
Blogging is indeed the gangrene of the internet. Little did I realize how right that statement would prove.
I am a bi-dyke, queer, switch, polyamorous/non-monogamous lady, an unemployed, almost graduated college student, who upon graduation will have a BA in Political Science and a minor in Environmental Policy.
LABELS.
My queer label I think reflects me better than any one word could. I am a bisexual woman who has always been between 2 and 4 on the Kinsey scale. The dyke part reflects my dress and character: I am not especially feminine in dress or mannerisms. I prefer the word queer in many cases because it places me in a safe community and the other definition is a good way of describing me: odd.
Man you sure think a lot of yourself.
When I got into the (lite) BDSM scene I bottomed/was a submissive and that's still where I'm really comfortable being.
AKA "I like to be held down during sex"
However, I love topping my boyfriend because it really works in our relationship and it's what makes me comfortable in that context.
AKA "he is a spineless pussy and I wear the pants in this relationship"
I like being tied up, tying people up,
Told ya.
Man, do I speak crazy or what?
Someone should pay me for this.
Maybe I should add that to my resume. Maybe that's why I haven't been getting the big offers.
"I speak fluent crazy."
Livejournal has proven not a single person is straight or gay or bisexual anymore. Everyone is a massive laundry list of bullshit. I will interview everyone in your office and figure out a score card.
My services are surprisingly inexpensive considering I think this is the first service of its kind.
I will save your company a fuck ton in discrimination lawsuits because you didn't know that Tinkerbell Snowflake was actually a man who thinks he's a woman trapped in a woman's body with the dual spirit of a squirrel and a washtub basin.
No stone left unturned, no detail too small, no twist in the skein of nonsense too subtle to escape my attention.
All right I'm out.
Next weekend is the TERA beta.
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