Oh my God J.C. a bomb!

A bomb
Fanfiction, anime AHOY.
We're off to a great start because the first entry is entitled "the purpose of this journal" I guess written in case the author conveniently forgot.

Hello all. So I've never been overly impressed with Live Journals and never really had a need of one.

...
So here I am, on Livejournal, signing up.
Did you ever stop to question your actions?
You know when I saw the Sony Vita I took one look at that and said "I'm not really impressed, so I don't think I need to go buy one" and to this day I still don't own one.
I might change my mind but then I won't be saying "I'm not really impressed, so I don't think I need to buy one" why on earth would you sign up for something you don't need and aren't impressed with?
Why for the love of fuck would you post constantly to it?

What will be posted in this journal:

1. Fanfics. These will be new fanfics, and fanfics I've brought over from my ff.net account.

Off to a great start already.

2. Roleplay fics. These are of no general interest to anyone but the roleplay members in question.

God, why

3. Plot ideas. I'm extremely creative. No, I'm not just saying that. Basically, I have far too many ideas than it is ever possible to write and am willing to throw a few out there to those of you who are interested. Some will be marked for me for later reference, others I'll just open up to first come first serve.

Oh how kind. You mean I can really use one of your ideas?

What do you need to know about me?

Yes, enough waffle. What do I need to know about you, fanfiction cunt writer #518743a?
I'm really ready to sit down and enjoy a good fanfiction so what do I, a mere mortal, need to know about such a lofty member of the literati as a fanfiction writer on Livejournal?

I'm blunt, I don't hold punches, and I will politely tell you to go f*** yourself if you annoy me.

You don't hold punches but you also don't want to write "fuck" on the internet.
Seems like a bit of a contradiction to me but what do I know?

On the whole though, I'm a pretty nice gal who prefers not to eat her visitors for lunch. Constructive Criticism is always welcome. Out right hate is reported, blocked, and otherwise ignored except for maybe a quick laugh.

Reported, blocked, cops called, house set on fire.

Also, I'm a sarcastic Catholic liberal who occasionally breaks out into valley girl and adores chocolate. I think that about sums everything up.

Ohboyherewego
So already I have a great feeling about this.

But someone needs to hear my Kodansha ravings.

Someone needs to hear this and apparently I'm bearing testament.
Lucky me.

So. As if the whole their/there fiasco in the Sailor V manga wasn't enough, I'm reading the new translation of Sailor Moon, volume 1. While I'm glad they're calling her Usagi instead of 'Bunny' as a nickname for Serena, and of certain other translation things, there are some times I just want to smack the translators around.

Translating Sailor Moon is serious fucking business.
This needs to be heard. You know when a Roman Emperor decreed something to be so on pain of death?
That's something that needs to be heard. This is all bullshit.

I can't even keep up the sarcasm that this is something worthy of reading. This is such nonsense.
Mainly 'Bump Head'. Bump Head is probably the single worst translation of Odango-Atama that I have ever heard.

Sounds like a pretty literal translation to me, but what do I know?
I've only had four semester of Japanese, I haven't read the entire Sailor Moon Chronicle.

Seriously, guys. While admittedly there will be some new people who are just now getting interested in Sailor Moon with the manga's re-release, most of your sales are going to be hard core fans. We all know what Odango-Atama really means and why he calls her that. 'Dumpling Head' is what most fan translations use, and that's the one that we're all going to recognize. 'Bump Head'?

Well odango is literally a bun and English speakers might readily confuse a bun (food) with a bun (hairstyle).
Because you have hair on your head, you know?
So you'd pick a different word--
Why am I explaining this to you?

Damn. That makes me wish for the dub. Meatball head was better than that. Much better. Pathetically much better. Bump Head is awful. Later on he starts calling her 'Bun Head' which makes a little more sense and is a bit better, but did they have to use Bump Head first?

Because words--
sometimes words are spelled the same but have two different meanings, see.
And--
then you translate anime for hardcore fans that'll hate it no matter what you do so you might as well try to appeal to a younger, dumber audience before they turn into fanfiction writing Amerifats--

That's the only really jarring thing I can remember at the moment.

So that's what has you so upset.
One word choice.

Damn it. Now I want to replay the game. Except then I'd have to still get through Sailor Mercury in Nepal, and you have to level her up, by herself, to level 18 from level 5 or 6 before she can even hit the boss for more than 1 or 2 hp. >.< Really, couldn't you have nerphed Nergal down a little so that Ami-chan can actually defeat her? I hate that part of the game... It takes so looooooooooooooong since the enemies don't get stronger. T_T

Complaining about grinding in an early 90s RPG?
You don't even know the meaning of grinding.
I mean I'm not too familiar with Sailor Moon the RPG but I imagine level 6-18 is very doable and the game probably isn't that long in the first place because like all cash in games that are made specifically because someone got the rights to something popular they had about 3 months to go from planning to finished product in case the fad bubble broke.

I don't think I really want to write the characters, but I've been enjoying reading the fics recently. And today when I had a very rough day at work (not really a bad one, but just... rough), I kinda decided to screw all the things I was supposed to be doing (rewatching Ice Warriors serials for my next Amy-verse fic, listening to podfics that I really do need to listen to, and so forth) and read ridiculously fluffy fic.

Stuff you NEED to do, like read fanfiction.
You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
Usually when you need to do something if you don't something bad happens.
Like if you don't go to work you get fired and end up homeless, if you don't breathe you die-- what happens if you don't read fanfiction?
Exactly.

That said, I've mostly just been ignoring the sex fics. Of which there are a lot of. I'll read one or two every so often just because there are good fics out there that include sex, but I'm fairly sure you guys all know my stance on this by now.

Yes, we all do.
And I hope everyone is falling in line.

Cy actually got the brunt of my complaining, since she always complains to me when she has to write a sex scene. It was only fair to turn the tables on her. She was also absolutely no help with the whole sex thing, being asexual and finding porn just as dull as I do.

Asexual?
Are you sure?
Are you sure she's just asexual and not a polyamorous asexual dual spirit furry hermaphrodite trapped in a woman's body?
All right I'll stop.
I think with everyone confusing want with need and with everyone affixing ten million labels to their bodies like idiots I've solved this riddle.
People will have a thought in passing like "wow what if people had squirrel souls" or whatever idiotic shit they think when they're cutting me off in traffic and then they forget that thinking doesn't mean believing and so they think "wow I must have a squirrel spirit" and then it goes from there.

There are some things that do turn me on though. One of the short stories in Firecracker is Melancholy by Arina Tanemura has a scene where the main male character takes the main female character's hand and looks at her, not with lust, but with just this serious sort of look and kisses her hand. I was madly blushing and suddenly very hot and flustered.

Girls.

So, future husband, if you are reading this, don't send me dirty text messages. Just sketch me like a non-French girl and I'll apparently find that incredibly sexy. I'm weird, I know. Just go with it.

If her future husband happens along my post: run far away, man.
In fact, I Ran should be playing through your head right now.

So, Cy asked me a while back what I would do if I were the head writer for Doctor Who.

I know what I'd do.
Watch an episode of Dr. Who.
Hasn't that show been on for like 75 years? I'd watch one from the 80s. None of that new shit counts.
Although I think I saw the lead actor on an episode or two of QI and he was pretty funny from what I recall.
So maybe he's all right after all.
I don't understand the rest of this post so I'm skipping it.

So apparently I need some sort of Doctor Who/Three Musketeer crossover.

Sorry, Alexander Dumas.
Apparently no one is spared the tragedy of fanfiction.
Well I guess it's exactly like Dumas said:

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more

In this case comparing shit with good writing.

However, after watching the new Three Musketeers and seeing James Corden (Craig in New Who), we decided to make a day of it. Now we're watching the Disney version, which will be followed by the Micheal York version.

Ain't readin' no books, though. Reading books won't make you a good writer.

So, I did a bit of house cleaning today. Or more correctly, tag cleaning. All Doctor Who fics now have Doctor and Master tags corresponding to which ones the fics contain. If you want to read my Eleventh Doctor fics, you can now click on the handy little Eleventh Doctor tag.

O, happy day.
I don't know why but I'm getting increasingly angry every time I click on a fanfiction.
I don't know why I would be because I knew what I was getting into but it just throws me right the fuck off I can't see everything on the goddamn front page because of this shitty "HURRR CONTENT NOT APPROPRIATE FOR MINORS" garbage.
What's the point of even having a front page? Just have a giant middle fucking finger instead. It achieves the same effect for none of the effort.
I curse like a goddamn sailor on this blog and I've never even been flagged. They're just fucking words you retarded cunt. You admitted yourself you're not writing porn so can you please knock this shit off?

Gundam Wing - Oh, Gundam Wing. I still love thee

Is it some sort of rule that the only Gundam anime nerd girls know about is Gundam Wing?
You know it has been on for like 30 years, right?
Watch some Gundam 0083. It might be your first step towards not being an awful human being.
Actually no shit you can see how Gundam Wing is for girls and Gundam 0083 is for manly men like myself from half of one sentence in each of their respective Wikipedia entries:

the series focuses primarily on the Gundam pilots: Heero Yuy (an alias, not to be confused with the martyred pacifist), Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, and Chang Wufei.

versus:

the series focuses on the crew of the Earth Federation Space Force assault carrier Albion as they try to recover a nuclear-armed Gundam mobile suit stolen by a Zeon group at a base in Australia.

And yet even Gundam fans haven't seen 0083 and everyone (even non-anime fans) have seen Gundam Wing.
I wonder why Gundam sucks now?
Fuck people.
I mean you can see right from those half sentences how Gundam 0083 has a plot (gotta get that nuke Gundam back!) and how Gundam Wing is a soap opera that happens to sometimes have a robot in the background.
Didn't you girls have your own hobbies and TV shows? Why do you have to ruin mine?
You don't see a bunch of nerd guys wandering into your territory like My Little Pony and--
fuck everyone.
What is wrong with writers?
Why am I apparently the only person that sees shit like this? Aren't you chucklefucks paying attention?
Writing a good Gundam series isn't hard.
18 year old naive kid joins the Federation or Zeon, gets thrust into a situation way beyond his ability to comprehend, ends up piloting the Gundam because by virtue he's there even though there are way more experienced pilots, ends up having to pilot the Gundam again despite not wanting to due to some contrived reason,
ends up flirting with some whore, gets his heart broken or he fumbles hardcore because he's a tool factory (or both if you're Amuro)
then he has to kill tons and tons of people in a space war
and then we find out maybe we are all the space Nazis after all and real life isn't a fairy tale and maybe the price of victory is too high after all
but it's okay because if you're Amuro you scored with a brown girl.
Then you die to a sniper if you're the book Amuro or you burn to death in Earth's atmosphere if you're anime Amuro
and then we're all a little wiser, roll credits.
IS THAT SO FUCKING MUCH TO ASK?
I DIDN'T ASK FOR A GODDAMN SOAP OPERA SET IN SPACE, ASSHOLES.
Sorry what were we talking about before this?
I forget.
Fuck it I have a headache now.