Purge the Witch

Oh boy are we in for it today.
I mean, really in for it. I hope you've got your butt prepared.
I knew I was in for trouble when I saw today's writer's block:

What do you like most about LiveJournal?

Livejournal has no redeeming features or qualities.

...that sooner or later this company is going to sell it to a place that enjoys pissing off the Russian government that is off of Russian soil... (just not China, please - if you must go to a Communist government, go to Cuba, which is still genuinely Communist.)

I mean what the fuck does this even mean?
Cuba, really communist? Are you fucking kidding me? It's a dictatorship.

Other than that - it's because it's still the place to start if you're in fandom, and because you can still have good, in-depth conversations here. It's very much its own platform, and it hasn't tried to "keep up" with other social platforms. This is actually the smart way to go. Let Facebook be Facebook, let Googleplus be Googleplus - each venue suits a different type of mindset.

I saw an article recently that suggested blog use was down 300%.
They thanked Facetube but I'd like to think I contributed to the downfall in my own way.

To give context, I’m having significant anxiety the last few days, more than I’ve had in several months. So much that despite the dry weather, I woke up in full-on asthma attack last night.

Why? Because something good happened. I’m having a major anxiety attack over something good:

Something good happened.
HELP.

part of this is that it did come heaped with some underlying nastiness, not intended by the people that made the delivery. There is no gracious way for me to ask “can I avoid this specific attitude-holder?” So while I want to embrace this new and wonderful thing, that nastiness has raised all sorts of new fears, and made me ask the question…”is this the trustworthy place?” My deep self says yes, but my ego is a bit bruised.

Oh, did I forget to explain what this post is about?
No I didn't. This is how it starts.

On the other hand, I finally realize why Julia Cameron encourages us to indulge our sensitive natures, to be a little more thin-skinned, to not always “man up.”

Excuse me?
Julia Cameron, who is this?
Oh. She wrote a few books on how to be creative.
Not really sure that's how it works--
Actually, she sounds like someone I might have had to read in pussy sensitivity at some point in my life but I can't say this name is at all familiar to me.
Oh well, small favors.

While some people pretend to be thin skinned as a way of controlling others and most of us see that for what it is to the point of ignoring or steamrollering genuine hurt, I’ve finally figured out the positive side to sensitivity.

The positive side is you get to act like a complete putz if someone stumbles on one of your sensitive spots.
No, I'm just kidding. There is benefit to being a pussy.

You know what to protect. For years I’ve let my work get trampled, let people convince me I’m a bad writer or that I’m grammatically incompetent, and then seen projects get horribly eviscerated as, in the name of being “professional,” I decided not to insist upon my own vision.

And you have to be a fag to do that?

I realize it doesn’t matter if the people that crap on my work are jealous. Knowing the motivation does not help the problem. What does help is standing up for myself, and to do that I do not need a confrontation most of the time. Confrontations are for absolute last resorts.

"Yeah thanks for your advice. I'll consider it."
There you go.

No, to stand up for myself I just need to say these magic words: “I disagree. Here’s why…”

No, just thank them and move on.
In fact, if you're not going to take constructive criticism why are you asking for it in the first place? I hate it when fuckfaces like you do this kind of shit. HERE'S MY SPACE MARINE, HOW DO I PAINT IT BETTER?
Well it's good but I believe you really need to work on your transitions. Perhaps study a bit more on how to create gradients?
NO I DISAGREE WITH YOU MY GRADIENTS ARE PERFECT.
Well, perfection really has no room for improvement so WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING FOR CRITICISM?
I remember in pussy sensitivity we had to do this sandwich method bullshit where we'd say something nice, then a criticism, then something nice again.
Nothing good ever came from seriously using it. Just say it's beautiful and wonderful and move on with your life. People are too thin skinned to accept anything less than complete adoration and yet, according to Julia whatever we're too thick skinned.
Bitch, if people had thinner skin they'd have no skin.

So why am I having an anxiety attack? If I practice the honesty exercise, it’s because I’m scared I will not be properly supported when I need it the most. I don’t need a lot of hand holding.

By your own admission you're 20 something. You shouldn't need your hand held at all.

“We are all connected and it’s important to honor that.”

Life, death and sex are the three most sacred things in the world to me. Even so, I will be just as quick to dispatch a parasite that eats my light bulbs as I am a parasite that eats my blood.

Life, death and sex are sacred.
Oh boy, here we go.

“The spirit was here first; that’s a valid perspective.”

If it were a living person, we’d call that a squatter. If I have obtained my place to live through just means, I believe it is reasonable to expect all previous inhabitants to relocate.

The spirit, excuse me?
Like ghosts?
No, that shit ain't real.
And if it were I know Warhammer has several simple methods for destruction of the undead.

When dealing with spirits, I operate on the following principles/assumptions:

When dealing with spirits I operate on the following principle:

• shit ain't real

That's it, actually. Pretty simple.

Malcolm Gladwell’s book The Outliers posits that successful people spend at least 10,000 hours working on their chosen craft, art or profession before becoming skilled enough to enjoy success.

Sun Tzu actually hit on a similar notion two and a half thousand years prior to Malcolm Gladwell but you know, whatever.
He even said 10,000 hours to get good at something.
Guy really was ahead of his time.

Slate.com recently ran an article on how the 10,000 hours rule applies to writing, too. Cookies for anyone who can find the original link. Yes, some of us have a natural talent for writing. All the same, even the “naturals” have to log serious time in developing an understanding of the craft as a discipline. In the case of writing, and in this context, discipline is defined as “daily practice that leads to a project’s completion.” This is not the “discipline” of “I was good on my diet.” This is discipline along the lines of what it takes to get multiple black belts in a martial art.

Writing isn't that hard.

When I measure my own career against this rule, I come up with yes, I fulfilled it and no, I haven’t – at the same time.. Technically, I have more than surpassed the requirement. I started publishing political editorials at age 16, I majored in writing at Lakeland and in mass communications at Mankato State, and while I didn’t finish graduate school, my attempted MFA was in creative writing.

Wow that's really boring.

Throughout the latter half of my undergrad, in between my undergrad and graduate school, I also wrote for Llewellyn and picked up freelance work where I could.

If you put every hour I’ve spent putting together the written word, I easily surpass 10,000 hours.

But.

Yes, there’s always a but.

Did I mention this is a guy?
Because it is.

Writing, like the aforementioned martial arts, has different styles and disciplines. Blogging differs from print news writing. Poetry differs from prose. Fiction differs from nonfiction.

I’m not sure I’ve actually passed the 10,000 hours rule in any ONE area of writing. While I love eclecticism

This is starting to sound a lot like excuses to me.

I definitely have not logged 10,000 hours in poetry.

Me neither.

I definitely haven’t logged 10,000 hours in news and political writing.

Hey what do you know? Me neither again.

I guess I have logged about 8,000 hours in nonfiction prose – I get the sense that the book Divorcing a Real Witch is my journeyman’s piece, the book that will take me across that final line .

Divorcing a real witch--
The fuck?

I think I’ve logged under 10,000 hours in blogging, but I’m very close to the line on that one, especially because Fat Chic used to take up stretches of hours every day.

I don't think I've logged 10,000 hours on this nonsense but it feels like ten times that so does that count?

In truth, I find the 10,000 hour rule helpful. For me it’s an “Oh, so that’s what’s going on!” when it comes to recognition, accomplishment, and finishing my projects.

Mastering skills in real life isn't like grinding in an MMO. It's not like you put 10k hours in and bam, level up. You kind of have to be practicing the right way.
It's why The Art of War doesn't stop after "yeah, 10,000 and you're a badass warrior", you know. It kind of goes on about a way he found effective for doing something.
In this case waging war but whatever, the general tenants can be applied to a lot of shit.
Now here's an article entitled "Prohibiting Magic as an Avocation".
Not really sure what these words mean. I know what they mean individually but together they're not making a lot of sense to me.
I guess the main word a lot of people wouldn't be familiar with is "avocation" which is something one does outside of one's occupation.
Or hobby, as we non-cunts say.

Hoodoo has some interesting aspects to it: it’s the jazz of witchcraft practices. By that I mean it’s uniquely American in the continental sense of “America.” It also, in its principles, seems to steward every taboo known to Wiccan magic workers:

Sorcerers, one and all.

it does have death spells, revenge spells and curses. Those coffin nails are not mullein, they are actual coffin nails. Conjure men and women charge for their magical services. These all make those outside the practice so uncomfortable that most do not realize there’s a lot more to the practice than the broken taboos.

It's also complete bullshit. Did you ever consider that?
I remember a girl in her high school Wiccan phase of her life asked to cast a curse on me once but she needed my permission to do it.
1. that makes for pretty shitty spell casting, and
2. I gave her permission and I'm still 100% fine
That was like 7 fucking years ago, too.
Either she can't cast spells, I'm immune to foul sorcery or there's NO SUCH THING AS FUCKING MAGIC.

My American-eclectic Wiccan religious outlook is unlikely to change. I believe strongly in reincarnation and in-life consequences for actions both spiritual and physical; I also believe in the absolute necessity of a feminine presence in the divine as well as a masculine one.

Speaking of powerful sorcery, I've been leveling thaumaturge again in FFXIV ever since they sorted out the nonsense that is leveling a job higher than 30.
Edie managed to kill the elemental god of hellfire in less than 3 minutes but then this baller makes the scene:
He was being sarcastic about the "performance worthy of song" because after that he promptly goes Super Saiyan and fires a giant laser beam out of his spear that was apparently so badass an entire party of 4 rank 50 people could do nothing except stare in awe at precisely how fucked they were.
That's the second time you've turned into a complete bitch at the sight of the Empire, Edie.
I'm starting to doubt your credentials.

Magical systems and traditions live in a strange area between religion and, for lack of a better and much more appropriate term, science. It often taps into some stream of energy that lives right next to what faith produces, but with slight flavor changes. What I get when I practice Ceremonial Magic differs just a little from how I feel when I perform a Wiccan-style uncrossing.

Here you go, dipshit, I'm prepared to explain the difference between science, magic and religion.
I'm only going to explain this once and I will broker no disagreement on this.
Religion: belief in supernatural entities or forces to which we are subservient.
Magic: belief in supernatural entities or forces that can be harnessed for the benefit of the user
Science: the rational, empirical belief that observable phenomena have a natural explanation
Only one of these things contributes to your current prosperity and lifestyle.
Here's a post entitled "Paris! Are you Jealous?" and no, no I'm not.
Man this shit is fucking boring.
I think I'm going to do something else now.
BYE~

Rite of Pure Thought

Today's writer's block reminds me that I FUCKING LOVE PIZZA.

Describe your perfect pizza

But Givegoldtheglory, who has had her creative part of her brain rewired to the logical end, has this to say:

I don't have one. Possible better and non-assuming wording for question, "Do you like pizza? Describe your perfect one."

I just really don't enjoy bread based stuff enough to have a 'perfect pizza'.

IT DOES NOT CONTAIN A PROPER BALANCE OF NUTRIENTS
LOOKUP LIST.FOOD.A--
ERROR LIST NOT FOUND ABORT OR RETRY
Why can't I stop talking about this woman?
So anyway I clicked on today's blog based on the avatar. It looks like we share similar taste in TV and that's slightly disconcerting.
By "same taste in TV" I mean I watch one show currently and she watches it too.

Funny this one should come up when I just set the bread dough out to defrost while I'm at work. I'm having my favorite tonight, which is thick crust with tomato sauce and too much mozzarella cheese (and a little Parmesan) over sweet Italian sausage, mushrooms, and lots of olives.

ARRRR WHY AM I SO FAT?

CBS has announced plans to modernize Sherlock Holmes for American television.

First of all, Fox based a medical drama on Sherlock Holmes; perhaps they've heard of House MD?

Excuse me?
House MD is based on Sherlock Holmes-- got any source for that claim?
That sounds like something I'd claim on a paper I wrote in freshman English just so I'd have something to actually say and my grade is based more on my ability to communicate without grunting or hitting anything than any coherent idea.

Second, Gatiss and Moffat had the idea of bringing the man himself to modern London, and they did it out of love for the character and his stories. And guess what? We get to see it on PBS, so it's a modern Sherlock on American television!

Maybe the people doing it on CBS love Sherlock Holmes.
I know a lot of people love this modern Sherlock Holmes but I know nothing about it.
I'd like to keep it that way, actually.
So she's doing this bullshit thing where every day she posts something she's grateful for and I wish she'd stop.
Here's a post entitled "for once in my life, I said a funny thing at the perfect time" and let's see.
I'm sure it'll be a barrel of laughs regardless--

Director Marla asked Baker!Brock why the heck he constantly carries a towel (not a full-size one; just a little dish towel) when he's in costume.

Because he's a massive twat.

It was past midnight, and we were all a bit loopy and groggy, so he didn't answer at first, and I said, "A towel is the most massively useful thing a person can have!"

Everyone within earshot burst out laughing, the joke spread, and we called Brock "Arthur Dent" for the rest of the night.

...
Guess you had to be there.
Apparently not, because here's a comment:

~dies laughing~ Oh you hoopy frood, you!!! *glomps you*

I guess I just don't know how comedy works.

Last night's rehearsal ran an hour and fifteen minutes over; I got home around midnight, washed some clothes in the bathtub (the laundry room was busy all weekend), and crawled into bed around 00:45. I was tired, but it took me ages to get to sleep. I was up before dawn to shower and be on the road before 07.00. I gave myself an hour to get to Fullerton (bloody unpredictable Orange County traffic).

So with the time telling the way it is and the phrase "bloody unpredictable" you might expect this woman to be British.
Which is why you'll be amazed to learn in an upcoming post she's provably American.

Some guys were unloading a lorry and told me that the fellow who could show me the tree would be there twenty minutes after he'd said he'd be there to meet me, so I had forty minutes to sit around. I was too annoyed to try to catch up on sleep, so I listened to an audio book until my contact showed up.

THE LORRY GUVNA WITH MY CALIFORNIAN ACCENT

I'd dropped my car off at the repair shop for some maintenance last night so it'd be first in the queue this morning, and I could still get to rehearsal on time.

THE QUEUE WITH MY CALIFORNIAN ACCENT.
Look, I like British phrases too but I don't try to slip them in constantly. In fact, I've really only taken "bint" because I am always seeking to increase my stock of names to call people.
When you do this "bloody queue lorry" shit it just really comes off as pretentious.

Verizon can bugger itself with a rotary phone. I'm off to take a nap.

See we have a term for "bugger".
SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP THEIR ASS.
Little longer but I happen to like it a bit more because it sounds way more violent.
or if you want a shorter version "Verizon can fuck itself with a rotary phone."

It's not been the best week, so there is no Friday list of happiness today ... just a Friday list of looking for stuff that gets me out from under a cloud:

1. It's payday, and I went a little overboard at Amazon this morning. I ordered one of my favorite CDs (Eric Clapton's Pilgrim)

>Favorite Clapton album
>Not Slowhand
HEH GIRLS

Boo-Cat's tumor is malignant. The vet said it's a high-grade cancer: "High-grade cancers spread early, when the primary tumor is still quite small or barely detectable." (Ganked from WebMD.) I shall do some research, see what I'm capable of doing financially and otherwise, and then go from there.

Sounds like it's time to let Boo-Cat go.
He's not like people. He can't rationalize his pain.
Sad fact of life I'm afraid--
We grew up together, Kitten, and yet it was your fate to die well before me.

This is a first. In my mail with the invoices and catalogs was a plain envelope. It was addressed to the library, not anyone in particular, which is why I got it. I opened it and found a two-page advertisement for a masseuse in Newport Beach. She described herself in great detail and gave her rates, plus how much extra a hand job is.

Speaking my language, baby.
I can't believe you can legally mail that shit. Aren't there prostitution laws?
Oh well. Maybe she's illegally mailing it.

*blink, blink*

Wait ... what?

*reads again*

EW.

envelope --> shred bin

*washes hands quickly*

Oh calm down, Jesus.
Christ on a cross.
Ha, ha for once a Livejournal comment doesn't make me wish violence on the writer:

Well? How much extra is a hand job?

I'm guessing surprisingly expensive.

There are theraputic massage therapists and then there are prostitutes. Either can be male or female.

In that industry you have to wonder why the woman adverts herself wearing very little when she's selling "massage" and describing her figure mesasurements isntead of her massage credentials.

A woman blatantly advertising handjobs isn't really a masseuse I'm guessing--
Just a guess.

You can often tell what they really are selling by how they present themselves in adverts and where they work, but not always. It's so bad that honest massage therapists event state, "no sex".

Wow, thanks for that.
YOU CAN REALLY TELL WHAT SOMETHING IS ABOUT BY THE WAY IT'S MARKETED!
IIII KNOW HOW STUFF WORKS!

In asia, its considered part of the massage to get the client off. This is not the case in the US, but now you should better understand what the term "Asian massage" means.

This blog took a weird turn, didn't it? Anyway, the cunt who owns this blog responds:

oh, a hand job is usually 20 to 50 bucks as no one ever pays for sex, they tip. Figure a dollar a minute if the guy holds back..

Is that what the ad said or are you speaking from experience?

So I went into the local independent book shop before my haircut Saturday and ordered two books: The Looking Glass Wars and To Say Nothing of the Dog.

She just wants to qualify that the bookstore is independent because, you know, fuck corporate America, maaaan.

Neither was in stock, but the cashier said they'd call when the books came in Monday. I paid for the books and went to get my hair cut.

Paying for shit in advance
Tell you what. When you have it I'll pay for it.

Monday: I went from home to work to my audition and got home again around ten. No one from the book shop called, and I was so preoccupied that I'd forgot all about the transaction.

Tuesday, Lisa left a voicemail and said, "It looks like you picked up your copy of The Looking Glass Wars, but your copy of To Say Nothing of the Dog is still here. We're sorry to ask you to come in again ...."

Wait ... what? No, I didn't pick up my book. What have you done with my book?!

This is why you don't pay for shit that you aren't currently holding in your hand.

Turns out they sold my book to someone else. I'd decided to hold off on being annoyed until I found out what happened; maybe they just misplaced it, and it would be there when I came in. No such luck: an inexperienced clerk was unloading the books Monday when a man walked in and asked, "Do you a copy of The Looking Glass Wars?" (Not, "I'm here to pick up my copy of The Looking Glass Wars." Big difference.)

GRAND TALES OF MILD INCONVENIENCE.

She knew it had been ordered for a customer, and without making sure, she just assumed that this random dude who walked in off the street and asked for one in a popular series of books was the same person who had ordered and paid for it two days before.

If it's so fucking popular why is this bookstore ordering one copy at a time?

The manager said the clerk who sold the book was terrified she was going to be fired for this.

Fired for selling a book in a store where books are for sale.
OHHHHHH THE TREACHERY.

I said, "Off with her head!" We both laughed, but that clerk damn well better know the difference between Do you have this book and I'm here for the book I ordered after this. Not everyone is as much of a pushover as I am.

You know she probably deals with a few customers a day. She isn't your little pet sales clerk.
This is why you don't pay for shit that isn't in stock. The stock gets misplaced, it dosen't come in on time-- just order it off Amazon, Jesus.

I understand that stuff happens. I remember what it's like to serve and pander to customers. The book will be there for me to pick up tomorrow. I do have to keep reminding myself that this situation is an inconvenience instead of a problem, though.

A problem you created and is entirely your fault, I dare say.
The bookstore's job is to sell books to people. If you pay for shit and offer to pick it up later then you're taking your chances with it not being there at your convenience. You made it easy for them to say no or put you at an inconvenience.

If you're looking for me, I'll be sulking in the corner with my copy of To Say Nothing of the Dog.

*scowls*

Your impotent rage does little to stir me.
You have to learn a valuable life skill that, conveniently, one of the greatest minds ever wrote an entire book on. You have to create an imposing and intimidating air. It took me almost an entire miserable year at a shitty high school to even learn this technique but people really should be a little afraid to approach or contradict you.

When I finally took the Meyers-Briggs test honestly

Taking the Meyers-Briggs test seriously, what
I forget what my result was.
INFJ or some shit--
Which is like Introversion, Intuition, Feeling and Judgement.
As opposed to Extroversion, Sensing, Thinking and Perception.
The important ones are judging and intuition, I feel.

In art, I'm not a huge fan of Emma Watson. I prefer someone who isn't generally considered pretty unless she makes three hours of effort.

Emma Watson isn't pretty.
Ohhhh, fuck the police.
Speaking of "people should be a little bit afraid of you" and other traits that make a great leader, I think I'm going to go play some FFXIV even though 1.19 has made it intensely unpleasant to play due to whining and asking of the same inane questions that can be easily figured out by, I dunno, HAVING A FUCKING THOUGHT.
Ohhhh forget it.
The burden of leading~

The Unholy Trifecta

When scouting for blogs I seldom read the actual words (who has the time, patience or constitution to consciously monitor for this?) instead, I look for a few hallmarks that I have dubbed "The Unholy Trifecta". There are actually more than three (which proves I suck at naming things) but I usually stop at three to start writing.
Today's unholy trifecta is:

• pretentious answers to a writer's block
• ridiculous recurring themes, and
• CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS and what's hiding underneath is ridiculous
  

Oh boy, I can feel the excitement.
Incidentally for those keeping score at home, the ridiculous recurring themes of this blog are fences, working outside and shoes.
TRULY THE STUFF OF A BLOG FOR THE OLDER AUDIENCE.
Today's writer's block-- well, the cunt didn't include the question and I'm too lazy to get the exact wording but it was something like "who is the greatest bully in your life?"
Anyway:

The Corporate State.

"Not a single executive from Morgan Stanley, Bank of America, JP Morgan, Lehman Brothers, AIG, Citibank or Goldman Sachs has gone to jail. Take three seconds and search any of their names with the term “fraud” and you’ll find article after article packed with information about how these companies knowingly cost investors (this country) billions.

Wooooow.
Oh, this is a quote from someone else. The greatest bully in your life and you can't even muster up your own thoughts on the matter?

They cooked books, packaged knowingly toxic loans then sold them as top-shelf product, inflated commodity prices through manipulation and awarded themselves millions in bonuses even after we (taxpayers) bailed them out." ~ Kevin Pereira

Wow. We, "the taxpayers", are pretty stupid.

The government has shut down twice this year while trying to cope with debt that was partly incurred bailing out Wall Street after the thieves gutted our economy and congratulated each other. Another portion of the debt was incurred when Bush gave the rich a "temporary" tax break that still survives, depriving the government of regular income and giving the rich unheard of priveledge.

Priveledge.
You know, shit like that might seem small but when I see that I begin to question your competence on this subject.

People like myself who are entirely dependent on government retirement and disability checks sweat every time the government shuts down because the economy has been gutted and we are basically without other means and nobody can hire us if they wanted to.

"Disability checks", eh? I'm going to assume you really are disabled and not just claiming bullshit but one has to wonder reading that.

I doubt you will ever find a greater bully that that.

But it's okay for you to bleed tax dollars because you're disabled.
"Disabled".

I planted some grape hyacinths today

Don't care.

D took me to a liquidation warehouse a few days ago. Among other things, I found shoes that usually go for $75 for $4 a pair. I got 7 pairs. Shoes don't go bad sitting around waiting to be worn and the fact that they had shoes that actually fit me was astounding. I have funny feet. I have trouble getting shoes to actually fit.

Are you excited for the post about fences?
Because I sure am~

I had my regular physical Tuesday and they said it was a mild case of strain and tendonitis and could happen to anyone who was out of shape. Other than that, I'm fine. I imagine people with hand and wrist problems should cut way back on the computer and so I have.

Want to bet her disability stems from what bullshit artists have coined "repetitive strain injury"?
Oh, there's a picture of your mighty backyard.
That's what you're having trouble wrangling? It's the size of the room I'm in currently. It looks mostly concrete, even.

Matt and I did the new improved 3 feet high garden fence today. If River can jump that one I'm selling her to the circus.

Ew you named your dog River?

Pics someday later. Do I know how to make a fence? Absolutely not.

I'm no carpenter but I imagine you measure a straight line on the ground, hammer some posts in the ground then nail some boards running parallel to the post line and then you can nail your fence slats of whatever design you like in place.
Then you have a fence.
I'm not underestimating the labor involved but the actual thought behind it doesn't seem that complex. Somehow her last four entries are reposted twice.
I don't even know how that works but whatever.
Now she's mad at some politician who says he understands the working man's plight because he only has 400,000 after paying the bills.
People are surprised politicians don't live in the same reality as the rest of humanity still?

Because this here house? You could buy 5 of them for the $200K he says it costs to feed his family.

40k house, hell yeah motherfucker.
Jesus Christ I'll start out making more than 40k a year.
So I guess I'm officially not a working class man, how about that shit?

I really hope this guy's insensitivity to poor people is not typical of our government, but I'm afraid it must be.

I'm insensitive to all issues not specific to fixing the country.
As I've said many times, I have a simple and elegant solution to bring us towards the future but it won't be pretty for a number of years until we get there.
Five posts about that fence--
seriously, is there more involved in making a fence than I thought?
I guess a gate might complicate matters but I'm pretty sure you can get those already made and it should be a simple issue of hanging some hinges and attaching the gate to it.

I discovered there will be no getting away with touch up paint of the stairwell. There's nothing like painting one little dab to show how dirty a wall really is. Lucky for me, I'm the proud owner of my grandpa's scaffolding. He was a general contractor. And I have everything I need to paint a stairwell top to bottom, as soon as I am well enough to drag it out, assemble it and perch up there like some death defying high wire act.

>Scaffolding
>death defying
we have very different definitions of "death", I see.

Did I mention my balance is still off as is common with feet operations? Matt's not climbing that rickety old 1940s thing, he gets dizzy spells. Also he's excused from painting because his hands shake.

What, is this the fucking pussy family?
Christ, I'll climb up there and do it.
Hand shakes, huh.
I didn't know painting a goddamn wall was precision work.

And I figure if I'm not strong enough to put it together with help, I have no business getting up on it.

Are you 90? Because that's the only way I'm excusing this.
What is going on with your stairwell that you need scaffolding to paint? I'd understand if your ceilings were literally a cathedral in France but you know they make paint rollers on sticks, don't you?

I think I have a new angle for that.

Cheap 7 inch netbooks can be had for $99. I see this on TV sometimes. If I had one of those and simply did not sign up for the interweb plan, I should be able to read doc.s and pdf.s on it. Which is exactly what I want it to do, full stop. I have more than a few ebooks from places like Baen.

>reading ebooks off a Netbook monitor
Have fun with that blindness.

I have a fabulous desktop computer and a pretty cool cell phone, so I don't care what else it does. Dh and I have generally bought desktop computer because they are cheaper and easier to alter.

"Easier to alter".
MASTER OF COMPUTER SCIENCE.

I am so out of shape, I am afraid to try to get in shape. All the attempts to work out I have ever had were the kind where they attempt to hurt you until you throw up or pass out, like aerobics or spinning classes.

Aerobics?
Spinning?
Brutal Spartan workout?
Are you fucking kidding?
After reading several methods of exercise I've determined there is only one manly method of modern exercise: the Muay Thai method.
Running, running, running, punching, standing in awkward positions for long periods of time and then punching and kicking a banana tree until you're either bleeding or the banana tree no longer stands.
Repeat until you're hardcore.

That is exactly what I do not want to do. I am stiff and sore and old and fat. The kind of crap I used to do would kill me dead. I've had 3 operations on my feet in the last 5 years and a metric ton of random therapy on my knees.

I am considering yoga. Don't know a thing about it, never done any, I don't even know anyone who goes. But it seems like a good idea.

Also acceptable is Krav Maga, a fighting method developed by the Israelis who were apparently unimpressed with other fighting methods' crowd control and narrow corridors fighting potential.

We are talking about going to the ren faire with my brother John and his wife B and their kid the 4 year old niece who could ride my dog for a pony. No, we won't be taking him for a pony, he hates crowds and they don't allow pets.

Oh I went to a Renaissance Festival and was prepared to laugh at the mutants but wound up witnessing one of the manliest spectacles I've ever seen: historical reenactment jousting.
Guy got dismounted so hard he coughed up blood and an ambulance had to be called.
There is a sport.
Guard up, boss.

John worked at the Maryland fest for several months the year he got out of the Army, slept in a garden shed and had a wonderful time. He told me last week that they had Henry VIII for the king and the people that worked there would run around saying "God save the Queen because she's going to need it." which did not thrill those in charge.

Me and a friend had plans to go the next year dressed as Darth Vader but it never really worked out.
In fact, the Maryland one was the one we attended.
Fun place if you can handle live action role players.
Here's a post called "Big dog, teensy girl" which sounds like a file you might not want to click on on a torrent site.
Oh my God another one: "70 lb dog meets 25 lb girl"
I think I see why this blog is 14+-- no I'm just kidding. There is nothing remotely offensive about this blog and having to click to view each entry is absolutely ridiculous.
... It just occurred to me I might have implied being 18+ makes it okay to watch a dog fuck a young girl.
As far as I'm aware that specific brand of pornography is outlawed in most countries, therefore making it unacceptable for all ages.
Doesn't mean I haven't seen .exes masquerading as that kind of pornography on dodgy torrent sites, though. Ah, those were good times, back before torrents had acceptable outlets and they were all contained on one website that looked like it was made by a 12 year old in Dreamweaver.
And your virus scan would stop you five times and demand three forms of picture ID before it'd let you in-- aww, nostalgia.
Listen to me, McAfee: I know what I'm doing.

Never ask this. Really. I get Norton's anti virus thing. Its not too expensive. I used to work for people who had it. I liked it You can buy it any where. So when I was paying for that update last night the computer started bugging me about upgrading to Internet Explorer 9 instead of using 7.

>Using Norton
>Using Internet Explorer
>Actually upgrading when your computer asks you
This is all kinds of wrong.
... I don't still use McAfee, incidentally. I'm currently flying without a virus scan, in fact.

I'm such a sucker. I did this. I then lost about 200 bookmarks. Yay, me. Microsoft would not tell me where they were. Since I skipped over 8 and went straight to 9, I could not get 7 back without reloading everything that came with my computer. I floundered around computer land for about an hour and got more tired and more mad and finally went to bed convinced they were gone forever.

Five seconds of Googling later--

One thing I hate about Microsoft is if you don't use their industry terms, they will not help you and I am clueless and happy to be there.

"One thing about Microsoft is the require me to be something more than a dullard and I find this unacceptable so I will instead expect others to think for me."
WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET :(

I never used a computer until I was about 25 and it was a horrible thing and ate most of what everyone put into it. We had no way to save anything locally. Everything went to a big server in the sky that dumped constantly and we spent all kinds of time that we should have spent working on the jets, reloading and re-reloading the same fool information about the jets again and again and again.

Sounds like user error to me.

So I am right back to wondering why computers are fun at all. They change things for no real reason, spy on you and now I'm so dependent on it, if the guy did come to take it away, I'd kill him. A hundred years ago, they were called bookmarks. Now they are favorites for no reason at all. But because I still call them bookmarks, it took me forever to find them again.

... Google actually corrected me on the bookmarks vs. favorites thing.
But that's not even the point. You seem aware Microsoft calls them favorites so you could have searched for that instead of, you know, writing a fifteen paragraph essay on why computers are shit because they use a different word for something than you do.
Also a hundred years ago computers didn't exist so your magical smiles machine would have been a complete mystery to them.

Because dad doesn't answer the mail anymore, they decided Jr. is Sr. and found Matt Jr., my DH, living in the state next door and have decided to send him hate mail demanding mega bucks which they believe are owed to them by his Dad.

DH?
God, why--
All right, it's "Dear Husband".
Fuck the internet.
So after reading horror stories on this blog for the better part of an hour and a half I've determined Ohio is the closest thing in the US to a post-apocalyptic hellzone.
Why would you want to live there?

Many years ago when I was in the USAF, I was a jet mechanic and so were all my friends.

Wait, you were a jet mechanic in the air force and you have problems with Internet Explorer and building fences?
...
Okay.
I know one doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other but if me, an untrained idiot on the subject of technology can figure out Internet Explorer by a simple Google search I'd expect one trained in the technolore of flight to noodle IE through a bit.
I dunno maybe it's because I'm so tied to my one redeeming talent (litfaggotry) that I use that to accomplish things in other fields but I'd think a general knowledge of machinery would let you figure a lot of shit out.
Anyway this is getting pretty damn boring so I'm going to do something else now.
GOODBYE~