Trouble

How about that new Pokemon game, huh?
It takes place in the Pokemon equivalent of AMERICA.
AMERICA, BOY!
WE HAVE WAR EAGLES AND SHIT IN AMERICA!
Speaking of: oddly, the Japanese have invented the most American video game of all time called Metal Wolf Chaos which is about the president who goes around in a giant robot freeing the fuck out of America from terrorists. I still can't believe that game never came out here.
I guess it is a little insensitive about history as a giant robot comes exploding out of the Statue of Liberty but I can honestly say if that happened in real life it'd be on the short list for "greatest thing to ever happen".
Oh right, blogs.

It amazed me last night, as I was having an anxiety attack in the BCC parking lot, how many people just walked by me.

>Anxiety attack
>need me to rescue you
Listen, princess, you're just freaking out. You're not actually sick or anything.

I was on the floor gasping for air the way someone choking might sound and about three people just walked past me without looking at me.

Yeah and I spend the better part of a day being yelled at by a group of idiot 9th graders who don't know what a comma is. We all have our problems.

Finally I had to scream for help to some guy who was walking towards me. He calmed me down and found a police officer to call rescue.

I also have that problem with the new Pokemon game that plagues all new Pokemon games for me: I played the Japanese version so I'm not used to all the new names. Usually I learn pretty quick but this time around the names seem really silly to me in English. I mean they phoned this one the fuck in. "Conkeldurr" will never have the same impact "Roobushin" has.
What does Conkeldurr evolve from? "Gurrdurr" (because it's holding a girder) and he evolves from "Timburr" because he's holding a piece of lumber.
Fuck whoever named these things I mean goddamn.

I have never had this happen to me in my life. When I was a teenager I have had what I considered to be panic attacks. But this was like I was drowning and I literally could not take in breaths.

Oh right, you.

Just a note; if you ever see someone who looks like they might be in need of some real help, check to see if they are ok.

Look, I'm really busy. Your personal health and safety is little concern of mine.

I'd like the opportunity to write a paper about how parenting styles that are "gender neutral" are actually perpetuating our culture's gender stereotypes.

This paper is less than three paragraphs so go ahead and bore the fuck out of me. Why not?
I have learned from the masters of pussy sensitivity so it's going to take a lot for me to actually hear anything you're saying.

I am bothered by what I saw on Oprah the other morning. It was a family that had a six year old boy; according to the parents their son decided on his own to be a girl. He began his gender transformation at age two. How? By preferring girl themed toys and colors.

How can a two year old even make an informed decision about something like this?
Oh right, they can't.

This is so baffling to me. How have we come to the point where gender is based on what aisle we prefer to shop in at ToysRus? As a child I would role-play as a boy when we were playing imaginary games. At McDonalds I wanted the racecar instead of the Barbie.

Okay I get it. Get to your point.

I allow Adriana to play with whatever toys, and I don't gender classify them. (Of course, I still choose what toys I allow her to have and will probably continue to do this for some time.

Okay.

This is what I don't understand about 'gender neutral' parenting. It is just a doll, just a train, just legos, just a tea set. I think we should phase out the gender specific toys, like all pink planes, computers, doodle pads, etc. But I don't think we should gender classify everything. I think this is where the perpetuation of the way our culture views gender roles comes from.

Great thanks for this it of nothing.

This year has been the hardest of my life. It has been the most life changing. I am thankful to God for every moment; the good and bad. I am grateful for the times where I felt so alone and lost. It was in those life-breakings moments that I was most changed.

Oh God this is going to be one of those religious moments, isn't it?
This is what's entirely baffling to me about the average religious idiot: their empty minds are so filled with faith and yet they can't even answer the simplest questions about their own religions. I had this kid grilling me about evolution recently (I made the critical mistake of using it as an analogy for a 5th grade word we were learning) and how the Bible says God created the heavens and the earth then today he says the Immaculate Conception was Jesus.
It was Mary you 9th grade moron! I mean fuck me, I don't even believe in this shit and I know that!

I began this year with nothing. Nothing in wealth, in material, in education, in a future, in spirituality.

See this is exactly what I mean. THANK YOU JESUS FOR MONEY AND MATERIAL WEALTH!
But then quoth Jesus in Mark 10:25:

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

And as if that wasn't clear enough:

Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

I don't think the Lord understands how market economies work.

It never fails that at the pediatricians office there will be one mother there that is absolutely lost. Every time I've taken her... It is almost sad watching these moms. She sits from her seat and shouts nonsense at her son, who is running around in circles. "Griffin, mommy says be nice" ...

If you named your child Griffin he should be taken from you because you are clearly unfit.
I am already bored shitless by this.
I think I'm going to go do something more productive with my time like nail my genitals to a wall.

I don't care

Not a single fuck.
Look at this dumb cunt.
Flipping me the bird in her avatar. Real classy, trash.
Anyway I do like today's writer's block:

If you could confront the worst teacher you've ever had, what would you tell him or her?

All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
I'm surprised (I don't know what I mean by "surprised" because I'm really not surprised at all) no one quoted that song.

That he was a huge douchebag and it was me who put acid in his coffee freshman year. HA. im glad you got fired.

Wait you put acid in his coffee and he's the douche?

I dunno. i was thinking maybe its time to start over. a new journal perhaps. all my most recent entries have been my life sucks, im broke, im fucked, im moving blah blah blah.

Oh I see a promising entry in my future.

but then again i could make a new one and then i would probably never write in it. coz i rarely come on my lj coz i dont really know anyone who uses it anymore. *sigh* i dunno. i guess im just bored coz scott started his new job today.

>I'm bored
>better be sure to tell the internet about how boring I am
Great thank you for this.

Coz well im actually on a computer for once at the library. Umm everything kind of well sucks. Me and Scott r both outta work. We are broke as fuck and there are no fucking jobs.

GRAMMAR POWERS ACTIVATE!

ok. so we packed up our shit and we moved to tennessee. well that place fucking sucks donkey balls.

we thought thatmaybe if i came back to florida andi worked and he worked there with the kids. we could get enough money and things would be ok.

You know that thing in good writing where they show and don't tell?
Welcome to the opposite.

SO last night i went to the dkm show and got kicked out.

some douche bag was sittin outside talking shit about mass and saying the red sox sucked and i yelled at him. and tried to hit him and security kicked me and scott out.

i feel really bad. i was being a drunk asshole and scott got kicked out of show coz of it. :(

Ha, ha oh wow.

ugh.

im feeling stressed. i dont like to be stressed.

we gotta find somewhere to live fast. i need to get a new job fast.

Holy shit this post is from 2007. How is it your life is just this never ending cycle of needing to find menial work?
Have you ever thought about learning a skill?
God, fuck I am just nodding off, here. I don't think I've ever been this tired in my entire life and this blog is really not helping.

but i'd like one where i can work from home or maybe one that would just allow me to have my hair the way i want and keep my peircings in. arrgh.

>keep your piercings
They want professionals, not whores with tongue rings.
Sorry about that whole reality thing.

myspace is being wick3d lame as usual and not working so i find myself here on my livejournal. if i cant be addicted to one site it has to be another...

Myspace.
What fucking year is this?
Oh, 2007, right.

so i've managed to only drink 2 beers today. sort of by choice, but not really. i prefer to be drunk i think. granted i still tend to get very emo when im drinking.

As opposed to the rest of the time where you're just bubbly and not bitching about your lack of employment.

being drunk is probably my favorite activity. but i get paid tomorrow so i will totally be buying myself some drinks

So you know those "warning signs you're an alcoholic"?
I think if these two thoughts occur back to back you can skip the signs and just assume you are.

nothing much to report from here. still working at bradys. still kicking myself in the ass everyday for having a shitty job. still just making it. still drinking entirely too much. still feeling that im always alone. still wishing my life was something different. still alone. still listening to the same sad songs over and over again.

Well I tell them there's no problem
only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no problem I'm only sitting here doing time.

i dunno. things are going ok. other than the fact that im completely broke and i dont have a car. but its cool. im havng fun, but i know im fucking myself over everyday. i barely make enough money to cover my rent.

So I'm always really excited to see the guild leve "Hungry Like the Wolf" because whenever that comes up it's Duran Duran time.

and it sucks. and its not like i can be ooh i'll give it to you next week. coz i never make more that like 150 bucks a week. my rents is 100 a week. and usually whatever is left gets spent on ciggarettes.

So a real winner, eh?
No but have you seen that music video? It depicts pretty much the noblest endeavor a man can undertake. Bro goes on a quest to some third world cesspit to land a brown girl.
The creators of FFXIV know their shit so they said "let's name a lot of our leves after 80s songs. Why the fuck not?"
They just need a leve called "Money for Nothing" and I'm really in business.
Fuck there might already be one. I should check. If it does exist I'm leveling whatever job has it--
Would have made a great goldsmithing leve but no dice.
Holy fuck how far back does this blog go?
March of 2003 are you fucking kidding me? Let's see what was happening in 2003:

This journal is friends only. Sorry if you find that to be an inconveinence... but yea. Add me. and I most likely add you back. Peace Jigga.

Did you just call me a jiggaboo?
Oh man.
This girl averages 2 updates a year.
I can't exactly be angry at her with an average like this. I mean I brought this on myself. This is a blog literally no one reads and no one updates.
so I've noticed my wanton purchasing of aldgoat skin in FFXIV has actually slowly driven the price up so I let it cool for a few weeks and it's back down to dick.
When they add recipes for aldgoat skin I am going to be so rich. Richer. Whatever.
Well this has gone on long enough and is pretty much not on topic at any given point so I'm ending this train wreck.

A WASTE OF MANKIND'S POTENTIAL

So against all better judgment I downloaded that new DoW2 expansion called RETRIBUTION (gotta write it in all caps because that's how it appears on the title screen) and it's actually not that bad.
Way better than Chaos fucking Rising, anyway.
They ditched that hamslapping queer bait Thaddeus and added Martellus the techmarine as a character you control and so automatically it's up a few points.
Also I was amused to see another woman character in the cast (Warhammer doesn't get many of those) and like all women in Dawn of War she's instantly a shrieking harpy telling me to do something I don't want to do.
LIKE ALL WOMEN AM I RIGHT?
But unlike in other video games and in real life I can't just ignore her and do what I want anyway because she has a pistol that shoots fire.
I guess I could wait until her back is turned and cut her in half with a fucking chainsword but I'm guessing that won't solve the problem of proving I'm not a heretic.
Oh right, blogs.
So here's today's writer's block:

What is the craziest dare you have ever taken?

I take no dares for I never agree to do something I might not finish.
HONOR IS ALL.

I was dared to sign up for a dating site. If anyone knew my "style," so to speak, they would know that I have no interest in dating the opposite sex (only friendship lol).

Your style is being gay.
All right.
Admittedly I haven't been on many dating sites but I'm pretty sure most do offer options for people seeking people of the same sex.

However, I got a free meal out of it, so it was not too bad. Never again, though.

I'm debating with myself whether or not this is dishonest.
I mean this woman owed the guy she dated nothing and he should expect to go on a couple of dates that go bust (price of business and all that) but he never had a chance with this woman by definition so I think it's pretty dishonest of her to let him pay for it.
I guess she (or anyone) could readily argue she provided him company but then again that was reciprocated so I'm not sure.

I have graduated, I guess, to my first "real" AM MT fight. We'll see if I can stay healthy this time.

Not sure what AM is but MT is Muay Thai, one of the manliest forms of unarmed combat there is.
Basically someone came up with the idea that it's twice as effective to elbow someone after you punch them in the face and built an entire martial art around turning your punches into elbow punch combos.
Of course I suspect a lot of the success of Muay Thai might have to do with the training regimen that includes PUNCHING BANANA TREES UNTIL YOUR KNUCKLES ARE LIKE IRON.
And now we go back to last year:

What are your New Year's resolutions? Do you think you'll stick to any of them? If so, for how long?

Fuck resolutions.

Have about 2 Amateur MT (no shin guards or helmet) fights; 2 or so MMA fights

>helmet
>Muay Thai
That just feels wrong.

What was the last juicy generalization from which you freed yourself? What caused your perspective to change?

I don't remember or understand this question. Are people making generalizations about me? I assume not because my perspective is the one changing so I have to guess I'm making generalizations about others but then what's up with "juicy" generalizations like I'm gossiping about the generalizations I make?
In which case I don't free myself from generalizations. Generalizations are vital to understanding how people think, because few men think for themselves and so therefore you must understand how they tap into the collective hivemind and feed off each other.

I used to think that all relationships among people had this narcissistic/co-narcissistic balance. Haven't you ever met the overzealous, self absorbed, highly insecure boss with the do-good-er subordinate who lets him or her get away with it? How about an addict that seeks to take advantage of enablers?

No idea what you're talking about.

I used to think that this black and white dichotomy was a law of nature like gravity. Having that notion always led me to sleep with one eye open, so to speak.

Am I just fucking stupid today or is nothing making sense anymore?

Do you believe that violence in media promotes violence in real life? Does media reflect cultural values or can it actively reshape them?

Oh God no.

I fail to believe that media evenhandedly promotes violence in our society without other influences.

What the fuck does that even mean? The media evenhandedly promotes violence, what?
"Evenhandedly" implies "fairly" or "balanced", wouldn't it? So it portrays violence in an unfair or harsh light so-- God, no.

Humans are violent by nature.

The Eldar are manipulative and deceitful by nature.
Make my favorite Dawn of War character a mute emofag, will you?
I just can't believe Tarkus, the voice of reason amidst the flamboyantly gay guy, the idiot whose only solution to a problem was to shoot it with a giant, man-portable cannon and the guy who sounds like he smoked about 50 packs before recording would take a vow of silence over something he HAD NO CONTROL OVER.
Without Davian Thule now this motley crew is fucked.

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

Oh I remember this question.
I think I said no it shouldn't because of something like not breaking a vow or something--

I try to explain to most people that marriage should be under a month-to-month renewable contract with the option to sub-lease or transfer. A learner's permit would be nice for some *cough* . Really, how is that different than the paper people sign now, or how people treat marriage? Technically, marriage is not really a permanent, cherished institution if divorce is always an option, and quartering is not a required punishment for adultery...

That's a great point. We're making divorce illegal and reinstating quartering as a punishment.
Don't want to have your limbs ripped off by horses? Do what you're supposed to do.

Needless to say, I don't date much. Hell, I only date because I can't always afford to eat out on my own dime.

Telling you people. Go to SE Asia.

A girl gets hungry, you know (totally, NOT joking)....

Joking about what? Women eating? Yeah I've seen them a few times.
The fact you trick people into paying for your food? Again, not surprising.
And come to think of it, if the main plot point of Chaos Rising was that one of your team bargained with a demon to allow the strike cruiser through the Warp then why do you activate a teleporter that lets you move between planets at will without a ship?
Shouldn't Martellus have maybe mentioned that exists?
Oh that's right we need a convenient plot solution for how Captain Diomedes the idiot can move from place to place without the massive resources of the rest of his chapter.
I guess my main problem with Chaos Rising is the game was so shitty it's actually affecting RETRIBUTION with its stink, somehow.
The writers even took the logical solution of flashing forward to avoid the immediate fallout of the events of Chaos Rising and they still can't escape it.
I mean they even fucked up the story of their own game because if all your squads stay pure then Martellus is the traitor so I'd assume that's the canonical end for that game but then Retribution starts up and Martellus is your bro again so who's the traitor?
Currently I'm assuming they're going to pull that old card of THE FORCE COMMANDER FROM THE LAST TWO GAMES WAS EVIL ALL ALONG in which case I'm never playing Dawn of War again.
Oh right, blogs.
Oh I'm at the start of this blog, how handy.
Anyway I'm off to bed because I have my own battle to fight tomorrow in real life.