Basically perfect, so hit me with your best shot

So it took a little more than two steps (three steps) and a lot longer than expected (it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize any NPC movement in the zone, regardless of whether or not they were visible on screen fucked the whole process up) but I did it. Perfect IV Mismagius.
Whether or not this is an ideal arrangement is academic, really. She misses out on hidden power fighting (and therefore has imperfect coverage), but gains a perfect speed IV and therefore outspeeds both Honchkrow and other Mismagiuses (Mismagii?) so I'm okay with this.
I have also not been neglecting FFXI, and am now level 51 and have to level both ninja (:C) and dragoon now (:c).
If you can outdo this you are a LYING CUNT, so let's dig right in.

Dressing up and wearing new clothes makes me feel pretty and good about myself (I think I want to get another haircut for even shorter hair).

hurr hurr

Even though after early release school today the guys and I didn't do anything, I got a ride home and right now pumping some music still feeling so good!

Oh my God what is this song? It's-- it's horrific. They took all the shitty music of a shitty music year and blended it into one thing. Holy shit, it's like a universal still point of shitty music! It's like every point of time existed solely to come to this moment.
This must be what the Bible as banging on about in the Book of Revelation with the Trumpets of Jericho and the four horsemen and shit.
Quick, someone call the Vatican. I'm wrong about everything, and I've found the Antichrist.

I am going to channel all my energy to making myself feel good despite what has happened, and focus hard on homework.

Despite THE END TIMES I'm going to try hard to focus on homework.
Now we come to my favorite part of blogtime: shitty poetry.
There's a lot and I'm not going through all this, so I'm going to pick out a couple based solely on the accompanied "current mood" tag.
Here our sweet Juliet (her name is Julie, roll with me on this, all right) is "rejected" so let's see.
Presumably the title is actually the first line of the poem, otherwise it would start with "but", and that's not proper grammar.
Not that it would stop anyone, but whatever, let's just assume.

It's over and done
But the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to
Instead of me tonight?

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song...

Wow that was... Wow. I hear tell there's this thing in writing called, what was it, "imagery"? Yeah, something about describing images or something.
You know that song by Duran Duran, Hungry Like The Wolf?
No of course you don't. Well look it up, and that's kind of what imagery is like. See, he's in touch with the ground and shit? Yeah, that sets the mood. It also employs something called an "extended metaphor". Specifically, in this case, a simile. You remember that shit, don't you? Comparison using "like" or "as"?
See, he's not actually a wolf, but he's like one, and that helps build the image and the tension of the story--
Well whatever.
Oh great now she's quoting from that song by that bitch, what's her face, Kesha (not spelling that with a dollar sign get fucked). Which reminds me of another thing I abhor: the song "Tik Tok" by Kesha.
Oh and there's her picture.
Yeah she's a cute girl. I'm not sure what her fucking problem is otherwise, but she's cute.
Now here's another poem, called "Hope Like an Ocean" which I don't know how I can "hope like an ocean" or if an ocean can even hope, but let's find out.

Well I rise and fall I hit the ground,
I just don’t know where to turn,
But the good lord he told me that,
Some day you’ve got to learn
That hope like the ocean will return with tide,
Don’t get lost in the moment,
You gotta see that there’s more to life

So-- hope, like an ocean, is something? Is that the comparison we're going with here?

Don’t be so pessimistic
Not a reason in the world to complain
Don’t waste a moment
Feel the sunlight shine on your face
You’ve gotta be optimistic
See the world from a different view
Don’t waste a minute
This life might escape from you

Wow, that's deep. Don't be pessimistic, be optimistic! You know when you describe two interchangeable states of mind it doesn't really make sense, right? You could have just as easily said "don't be happy, be angry!" or "don't be fatalistic, be nihilistic!"

Recently, I started talking to myself in the mirror >___>. It seems like lately I have to lie quite a lot. I feel terrible but I was told to, in order to deceive a family member for their own good.

Lie constantly. There's never a good reason to tell the truth.

There's a FORK in my UTERUS. Twisting. Aching. OW.

Wow.
I have a pen knife in my testicle right now.
Don't see me complaining, do you?

*Fork in uterus is metaphorically describing how I feel right now.

Oh.
OH WELL FUCK YOU. You do know what a metaphor is, so what the fuck is with you poetry?
Goddamn, people.
Now there's one of those meme things where she posts a ton of personal information-- yeah I think we're going to skip that, Christ. Make it easy for a stalker, why don't you?

I dealed to 8-14 people for Texas Hold'em. It was fun, but also very stressful as I had to start making lots of sidepots for when people did all-in.

Texas Hold'em, like all things Texas, is really just a facade of something invented by other, superior cultures.
Also cool grammar on "dealed". What are you, five?
Now here's her Halloween costume and she went as Ash Ketchum from Pokemon.
Yeah I don't know what that's about, but we can trade Pokemon, if you'd like.
I'm not using creepy double entendre, either. I need a Tyranitar :(
Besides, the bitches are so turned on by my Pokemon skills I don't need double entendre.
Also: girl dressing up as a boy. Very Freudian.
Well my darlings I think that's all for today. You're pretty boring, Julie. I suggest livening up some, or having some interesting thoughts or personality traits or something.
I've seen more character from my Pokemon, do ho.

Oh.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so I clicked on this "blog spotlight" entry called "wtf_sexism" and I had to agree that I was 14 years or older before I was even let through the door, then I had to click on each individual entry because it had content "not suitable for minors". Most porn doesn't have this much in the way of safety checks. After all this work I'd expect some PG-13 action, but no, just boring words and bitching.
WHICH IS REDUNDANT, AM I RIGHT GUYS? WOMEN AND BITCHING? HUH? (hopefully they'll see this and I'll get a free plug)
On to a group that isn't quite as boring.
Maybe it's because I'm the antithesis of ADHD (I just bred a Pokemon with four out of 6 perfect IVs in a brilliant two part strategy that took 3 days, which required me to enter a death-like torpor to achieve, and this is an activity I supposedly do for fun, although at the end it probably wasn't that fun) but I always found ADHD to be a very convenient excuse.
Oh sure, I'm sure many people do suffer from it, but you'd think such a "debilitating disease" that's supposedly so rampant would have had more of an impact on the human race before now.

Hello guys, I must say that I'm feeling really blessed that you guys are here. It's a relief to find others that think like me.

So here we enter the first part of the blog that I have trouble with. Is ADHD a thought process or a disease? Is it both? Can a thought pattern be a disease? If it can be, isn't that approaching (or indeed arriving at) the exact same logic used by the Inquisition in Warhammer to burn people?

Are any of you guys graphic designers/creatives by trade? I am, and I'm scared to to death that Adderall or Strattera or whatever they put me on will kill my creativity.

Isn't that how you "creative types" touch the cosmos or whatever it is you do?
Personally I'm just a roiling Kodachrome sea of creativity so anything to still THE FURY would be helpful, but I suppose those of a more demure talent would be worried about such things.
Of course I don't need such things because I LIVE ON THE EDGE.
LIVING ON THE EDGE?
MORE LIKE LIVING ON A PRAYER.
Now here's another entry "only for adults".
Well, fortunately, I think I fit that criteria so here we go:

Does ADHD affect your sex life? I find that it may be affecting mine. I get distracted when I'm with my partner. He's being romantic, affectionate, sweet, doing all the right things, and then I remember that I need a new bra and where I should get one and is there anything else I wanted at that shop - I have been thinking about getting that CD, but I could get it cheaper in this other store etc etc etc ad nauseum.

You see my predicament.

Any tips?

Yeah I do, actually, "Taiba": don't be such a dead fish in bed. Try giving a little and maybe it won't be such a blanket mediocre for all parties involved (which I like to imagine seventeen parties involved to keep your white bread hum-drum sex life as distant as possible, thanks).

I hate that I need medication just to go to a movie or a party. I hate that I have to be so careful about who I tell, because they might stigmatise me. I hate that, because of ADHD and a lack of support and understanding in The Real World, my first year of full-time work was much more painful than it should have been.

Wasn't "The Real World" (proper noun) a TV show a few years back? Wasn't Fred Savage involved and some ridiculous lead female character with a name like Tapioca?
Wow I sure do know a lot of gay shit.
Oh, no, The Real World is where a bunch of strangers live together.
What the fuck am I thinking of?
Ah, Boy Meets World.
And that wasn't Fred Savage but his brother Ben Savage.
Great.

I read Delivered from Distraction and the author had included on chapter that had a series of mental exercises that should help improve attention. I haven't done any of those yet (drawing a line with one hand and a circle with the other at the same time sounds hard) but I'm going to start including those during the day and was wondering if there's any other mental exercises that are good for ADHD.

So you had enough mental faculties to buy and read an entire book without becoming distracted and put serious thought into doing the mental exercises the book recommends-- I don't really know what to say, honestly.

My coach/therapist asks me: "Why are decisions so difficult for you?"

I don't know!!! Why are they???

Why are you looking to strangers on the internet for personal answers? Could it be because you don't actually have an opinion?
Here, I'll answer for you: it's because you're a cunt devoid of personality, ergo no personal opinions to be had. If your opinion cannot be determined factually, you can't make it.
How to fix this: I don't know, maybe focusing less on yourself (for once)?

We are having a medieval wedding, pre-1100. I have pretty much decided what I want for a dress and how I'll do my hair, though I have no idea what to wear on my feet.

Oh, time traveling for your wedding? I hear Antioch is beautiful that time of the millennium.

We're Anglican, and my uncle is an Anglican bishop, and I've asked him to take the ceremony, and I just got confirmation from the priest in charge at his cathedral that we can have the cathedral for either date.

Uh-huh-- wait.
>Anglican wedding
>pre-1100
Pretty sure that's impossible.
Now here's a post that uses "we" and "us" as if the writer is royalty or perhaps speaking for all ADHD sufferers.

As are the similarities between this obscure folktale and Lancelot in L' Mort d' Arthur (OMG, there is no way Malory* didn't know about this Irish folktale)¹

Sir Thomas Malory was Welsh so probably-- no, he probably didn't know it, actually.
What does this have to do with ADHD, exactly, outside of you showing off your (modestly) impressive knowledge of English literature? Also I'm pretty sure it's properly called "Le Mort d'Arthur" so good job remembering how to spell the title, putz.

Anyone else have experiences like that? Crappy short-term memory, but a ridiculous range of random facts and memories that you're not sure how you acquired? I love that we have all of these random, wide-ranging resources at our mental fingertips and yet we can barely remember to lock the door on the way out to work. ;p

Yeah, I call it "thinking".
Whatever, white people. I have to move my timid Synchronizing Ralts to Pokemon Pearl to catch a female timid Misdreavus so I can continue my GRAND SCHEME. I'm very busy with work far too important to continue wasting on drivel like this.

Oh good, another year

I hear it's 2010, not that you fuckwits would ever let me forget.
OH BOY 2009 WAS A GOOD YEAR I BET 2010 WILL BE EVEN BETTER~
Yeah, was it? If this exercise in douchebaggery has taught me anything, it's that you people were cunts in 2008, 2009 and will probably continue into 2010.
Meanwhile in my world I'm trying to breed some perfect IV pokemans. My current goal is Mismagius because ghost Pokemon are the master race of Pokemon.
Unfortunately I only have 2 Misdreavuses (Misdreavii?) to breed, so you know what that means: controlled inbreeding.
Speaking of inbred, our blog for today.
Hey, no champion pedigree was ever founded without it.
Of course, if my IV spreads are any indication I think I can do it in two moves without the need of inbreeding but that's not nearly as fun.

It began the Tuesday before the big day. I was sitting in my car, eating lunch in the parking lot at work, like I do often, while reading my Twitter list. There in amongst the mundane hourly updates and LOL cat links, there was a tweet from my favorite podcast, TBTL.

>the word "mundane" comes up
>I didn't think to edit this
>implying anyone edits on the internet

An idea was born.

Holy shit if this were my old high school newspaper this line would have been crossed out in so many different color pens you couldn't even read it anymore.
Of course I never would have written a line such as this (and given it its own paragraph, no less, usually something reserved for interesting sentences written in non-passive voice, both traits absent from this sentence) but my point stands.
You're boring, I get it. The least you can do for your poor readers (reader, more like, that one being me) is make your sentences halfway interesting.
Let's compare to the only not-shit blog, my own. My opening post was about a subject very few people over the age of 10 care about: Pokemon.
How'd I keep it interesting? Jokes, mostly. I compared a boring topic to something people understood (champion pedigrees) and then brought up inbreeding. I showed my reader, I didn't tell them.

Tuesday slowly ticked into Wednesday and the hours of Wednesday trickled till at last the podcast was ready to be downloaded.

was ready to be downloaded?
Let's revise this exact same (boring) sentence with active voice:

Tuesday slowly ticked into Wednesday and the hours of Wednesday trickled until, at last, I downloaded the podcast.

See there you go-- hey wait it still sucks.
Hmm.
Wow this is-- this is particularly awful. Let's just move on.

Today I'm having a crisis of relevance, as in how am I relevant in the grand scheme of the universe. I wonder sometimes what mark my life has made and if I have made a difference.

Oh look, it's this shit again.

Deep thoughts for a Tuesday afternoon. I blame the emo music I listen to. The alt-pop music defense that doesn't hold up in court. (it is right up there with my editor made me do it)

So what's your defense for being such a goddamn dork?
Now here's a post called "Exercising the Muscle" which sounds like some kind of euphemism for masturbation.

Between the stress of the new schedule and the physical nature of my new assignment, I've been a puddle of pain. Swollen hands make typing a bitch.

I'LL SAY, WOOOOO--

When I last visited my characters, they were discussing a porn their dead friend starred in close to the end of her marriage. I've sure there is a poorly written flashback involved. My brain was unraveling close to the end of the retreat. The proof is in the pirates and zombies I added to a woman's fiction novel.

*headdesk*

Wait, wait I can muster up something witty to say, I can do it--
nope can't give a shit.

The fact this depressing novel filled with drug addiction, suicide, and rape was written while listening to Fall Out Boy amuses me. My novel is more depressing than it's soundtrack. :P

>it's soundtrack
>it is soundtrack
I'm sure this novel is just gr8.

Yes, I'm still obsessed. I am convinced there isn't a situation that Fall Out Boy doesn't have a song for.

Oh, oh I have one: getting laid.
If you're listening to Fallout Boy, uhh, I have some news.

I am a proponent of "the glass half-full", chosing to see the world through rose-colored glasses instead of dirty dishwater. This unbridled optimism has often led me down paths I'd rather not have traveled. But I think it is better to be hopeful and hurt instead of pessimistic and unscathed.

Oh hey look, proof of my mantra that "hope is the first step on the road to disappointment" in action.
Let's take a hypothetical situation for further proof:
2010 ends. It sucks.
If you're an optimist: OH NO IT SUCKED
If you're a pessimist: as expected
2010 ends. It was good
If you're an optimist: as expected
If you're a pessimist: OH HEY WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE
So as you can see, pessimism is the preferred option. Always.

Motherhood seems to be something I excel in. I have a tendency to adopt and mother all I come in contact with.

This raises an interesting question of "can one excel in motherhood if one is not a mother?" That's like saying I excel as a mathematician despite not being one.
That was just an example, of course, because like her and motherhood I suck at math.
Now she's on about how she's an author or some shit, but I came across this line:

I can climb into a prolific novel and wallow, never tiring of the prose.

Prolific novel? What does that even mean?
One that can reproduce fruitfully? One that can make a lot of money? One that was published many times?
Which is funny, because one sentence prior she spits out this gem:

I revel in the feeling of certain words rolling off my tongue.

Reveling in the feeling of certain words rolling off the tongue maybe, but certainly not reveling in using SAID WORDS FUCKING CORRECTLY.
Oh apparently she is a mother. Funny, for someone who is so awesome and loves doing it so much she sure hasn't mentioned her own children very much. Or at all.

Are you looking for an informative yet entertaining podcast to add to your collection?

No.
Now she's challenging all people who don't like Fallout Boy (all sane people) to listen to "Dance Dance" and not "chair boogie". Well a true knight never balks at a challenge, so you're on.
Waiting for a song, here.
Christ, this is awful.

And lastly, Pete Wentz reminds me of my son, Ryn.

Ryn.
Ryn: your name is missing a letter, son. Ryan it is.

I've been trying to listen to a multitude of different ones and then report back which ones are good and which aren't worth the space used on the media player. This quest is failing because I can't get past my obsession with TBTL. (Too Beautiful To Live) If you haven't listened to it, go find it on iTunes and check it out. I will bet you will become as smitten as I have.

I won't be doing that, but please continue.
Oh-- that's the end of your blog.
Well, Mrs. Wordsmith, I must say I am thoroughly unimpressed. I expect better from a virtuoso writer like yourself. Someone who claims to live and breathe the written word certainly wouldn't have such a poor grasp of story structure, sentence structure, grammar and word choice that you do.