I know I sure don't, so let's rumble.
So first thing we have is a post about what she's thankful for, which is unfortunate, but like all holidays (even ones with dubious claim to fame, like St. Patrick's Day) that's all anyone can fucking post about.
Today I am thankful for being artistic and creative.
Fuck me. Also you'll have to forgive the lack of hilariousreactionimage.jpgs, because I'm posting this from my new netbook :3
It is, as they say in the hood, "very kawaii ^.^" (translator's note: kawaii means cute in Japanese)
I feel pretty blessed in this department. I may not have the exquisite vision of a Monet or a Picasso
Ha, ha, no, that's an understatement. I MAY NOT BE AS GOOD AS MONET... I mean I haven't seen your shit, but I'm sure it's just that: shit.
I guess this is also a "I am thankful for My Sweetie being such a sweet and thoughtful man" post, but then I am grateful for that every day.
This post was made on the 23rd, incidentally. I get the feeling we may be in this for the long haul.
A number of members and friends have been asking me what I am doing differently. If you don't care, just skip the rest...
That is mighty tempting, but if "not caring" was the only criteria I had for skipping posts I'd never update again so you better fucking show me, I guess.
Today I am thankful for my computer and the internet in general.
THANK YOU INTERNET FOR LETTING ME POST HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR YOU-- this is really starting to get clusterfucky, isn't it?
Today I am thankful for being able to sleep, and sleep well.
DECEMBER 21st. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF.
Also why are you posting what you're thankful for on Christmas? Isn't this a Thanksgiving thing? Hence the name, THANKSGIVING?
Whoever said that brevity was the soul of wit was not talking about me.
Who said that? Some hack named Shakespeare or something, I think. No big deal.
Also he'd fucking know about brevity, captain "I have this story and I better tell it over a five act play when two would have sufficed, thanks"
Also there is no easier way to get me to skip an entry than to say something like "I have a bunch of shit I could say in a sentence, but instead I'm going to stretch it out over fifteen".
It is 31 degrees in Jamaica today. We are thinking of skipping Italy this Spring in favour of spending my birthday in a tropical setting instead. We found a really nice Tuscan-themed resort in Ochos Rios. It bills itself as having "The romance of Italy, the passion of the Caribbean"
Wow it must be nice having those problems. DO I SPEND MY HOLIDAY IN JAMAICA OR ITALY?
I mean I understand what it's like to be fairly well off, but you know people with some class tend not to flaunt it like this.
I lack food faith.
Maybe I can distract the angel of food failure from my stew by attempting to make biscuits to go with it.
Goddamn you are a douche.
Maybe if they are both bad, I will distract My Sweetie by serving the whole mess in a French Maid outfit.
Great now that image is ruined for me, thanks.
What is it with you people, honest to God? Is there some sort of daily douchebaggery quota you have to meet? Is it like a nine to five job for you?
No idea.
Now she took a "which Shakespeare play are you?" And I was secretly hoping she'd get Macbeth because of the totally awesome ending where she'd fucking die, but it called her 54% comical.
I have no idea what that means, but goddamn that seems really high to me. I'm not really sure how you can quantify comedy, but if you can, she is not 54% comedic. Is there some sort of comedy deficit where someone, like me, has to be extra funny to make up the difference?
It was a women's only gym, but frankly I don't see men doing this class anyway. Lots of calls to "squeeze your balls". It might make some of them nervous.
On the contrary, I squeeze my balls all the time.
I am RIGHT NOW, in fact.
I am just juvenile enough to find that amusing!
Huh, huh, huh lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Now here's a poll about whether or not she should send the people who read her blog (presumably family) Christmas photos. Now if you haven't seen the poll, you might assume this is a choice of two (perhaps 3 if "I don't give a fuck" is a choice) potential answers, but you will then be amazed to learn this poll has seventeen possible answers. Who knew Christmas pictures were such a complex affair?
Now here are some photos she took on her cruise and she really thinks I give a fuck, doesn't she?
Well I clicked because I wanted to see what variety of bovine I was dealing with, and now I know.
But I still don't care.
My Sweetie has a Masonic function tonight and I have a staff meeting.
FREE MASONS.
Enjoy your super cool secret club, bro. "No girls allowed", even. What are you, nine?
Ohh better stop making fun of you now, though, or your husband will bust out some crazy Masonic powers, huh?
Tools.
I guess that's it, then. Enjoy your silly Pagan holidays, heretics.
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