What the actual fuck

I hope you're ready for this.
Just kidding there is no preparation for this. You just hope your years of Space Marine training somehow sees you through to the end.
But it won't. Prepare to reap the inferno.

Introduce all your different personalities.

Today's writer's block. For once I was read to commiserate with the idiots on Livejournal who didn't understand this question but further proving they exist on a different plane of reality they all seemed to understand what was going on.
My different personalities?
Well here's me and here's me fucking angry. There you go.

This is pretty insulting, invasive, and triggery to systems that actually have been diagnosed with DID. Fuck whoever approved this writer's block.

Who
Cares?
But if we hearken back to the hoary ages gone, to the gate of eternal gloom we'll recall I offered a service whereby I'd document all of your pussies' quirks and idiosyncrasies and I promised I could save you a fuckton of money in lawsuits and people quitting over being butt devastated. Well here's where this service would have paid off, Livejournal. First five entries are people furious over this question because they have actual multiple personalities.
Ignoring multiple personalities is one of the rarest mental conditions there is if five people on the top (and I didn't dig into this at all) are this frustrated over this you conceivably lost business over this one little question.
Multiply that by millions of faggots and literally hundreds of offensive questions and suddenly my price is seeming more like a beggar's ransom, eh?

Also insulting to those of us who are multiples, publicly or in the closet.

Says one commentator.

Indeed. Even the phrasing, like it's an ORDER, is making my skin crawl. DID is a coping mechanism. Alters aren't there to pop in and out on fucking command.

She responds.
IT'S A DISORDER YOU FUCKING INSENSITIVE PRICKS.
I don't think that's what they were talking about.
I'm not sure why I'm defending them. I have no clue what the writer's block was even about today.
Maybe they are talking about multiple personalities, shit.

Agreed. I have contacted LJ to see if they will remove this topic. As a person who has DID/MPD, I was triggered, and I find it highly discriminatory. Imagine if they used "tell us all about your type of cancer" as a topic. Would THAT fly?

I imagine cancer patients and survivors have more to do than be butthurt over a nonsensical statement on a shitty has-been website dominated by Russians.
But I only work at a grocery store so here I am.

Big time. They are making me wonder if my $20 a year toward my paid account is worth it.

HOLY SHIT.
SEE, LIVEJOURNAL?
I would have only charged you 15 dollars to go over this writer's block. Honest to Christ.
My services could have saved you possibly tens of dollars today. You're hurting for business, don't act like you can tell people to eat a cock.
Also 20 dollars a year, seriously?
That's like a quarter of a penny a day.
Don't act all entitled over 20 bucks a year. My game charges me almost that much a month and it frequently tells its consumers to go fuck themselves when they're off their asses.
Which is more often than not.
Here's a post about Kony.
I can't believe I'm bringing attention to this nonsense but Joseph (I think) Kony is an African dictator in-- Uganda I believe.
So already this is more than I want to know about this guy but apparently he's a very mean man and has committed genocide and incited ethnic riots and employed child soldiers and all sorts of other naughty things.
And white people on the internet are very angry at him.
Of course when I ask why him over the literally hundreds of other dictators as bad or worse than him I'm met with blank stares because they're all 16 year old girls high on their first crusade.
This reminds me very much of that organization at every high school ever Amnesty International.
You know that group that draws a third world country's ruler out of a hat and decides he MUST BE STOPPED THIS WEEK and so you can write a strongly worded letter and for the change you have at lunch he can be stopped.
Of course I always made sure to ask the girl (invariably a girl) asking for my signature why a man who has no qualms about committing genocide and enslaving children to use as soldiers will suddenly grow a conscience at the behest of a bunch of kids writing letters half a world away and then I was told I was a mean person.
I don't think high schoolers are quite equipped (as I apparently was) to deal with the psychology of a madman.
But they sure fell for that scam of Amnesty International.
I ask you, who is worse? The man who commits the genocide or the carrion that feeds on the carcasses of the weak and ill-fortuned?

I was reading a post somewhere that asked rhetorically: How come the people who aren't stupid enough to fall for Nigerian phishing scams are falling for this?

Are you fucking stupid?
This isn't rhetorical. This has an actual answer.
To convince someone you have to appeal to logic, emotion or ethics.
The Nigerian prince scam only works on the hopelessly foolish as it appeals to neither logic, emotion or ethics.
But this Kony thing, hey. That's an emotional appeal. I don't like to see children hurt so I can stand behind this movement.
And the Ugandan people want freedom just like the founding fathers of my own glorious and prosperous nation did so that's like an ethical thing, too.
It stands to reason that all men would want to be treated fairly.
It has all three going for it.
Only people with superior reasoning skills like my own can see right through this.
I've stated it before and I will state it again: the only thing men like Kony understand is violence. No matter how passionate, he will not listen to reason, ethics or emotions. The only course of action is to hunt him down like a dog.
Of course pussies on the internet don't understand shit like I do.
You guys gotta read a book sometime, holy shit.
Here's a round of "marry, fuck, kill" that's supposedly impossible.

Rush Limbaugh, Kirk Cameron, Rick Santorum.

Suicide is not an option.

Go.

Well I'm not a woman so I can't marry any of these so I guess murder is my only option.

Chex cereal for lunch, because I do what I want. J. had to work today (bah!) so I don't feel obligated to be anything but grubby. Which suits me fine because my uterus exploded.

Hey, lets talk about my uterus.

Hey sure. I'm not doing anything.

The endocrinologist recommended I be put on The Pill.

Me mudder said no. Why? Because the Pope said no. Because JP2 knew all about the pussy and associated plumbing, I'm sure.

I've been playing a lot of FFXIV lately and I wouldn't cross the Pope. He's likely a powerful thaumaturge.

When I turned 17 (coincidentally the same time I became consensually sexually active), my periods stopped altogether. Of course this happened the month that I took it upon myself to get my ass to the gynecologist of my choosing and get a scrip for The Pill, which I couldn't take because you're supposed to start after your next flow finishes. Whatever, I said, and kept going along with condoms. I remember I had one ten-day-long gusher when I turned 20 and then kaput.

I really appreciate this frank discussion of your nether regions.
You know when I woke up today I said to myself "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO THIS FINE FRIDAY? I KNOW, I WANT TO READ ABOUT THE MENSTRUATION CYCLE OF SOME CUNT ON LIVEJOURNAL!" and lo, were my prayers answered.

When I was 23 I started seeing a gynecologist regularly, because J. and I were thinking about having children in the near future. She put me on The Pill, and gave me Provera to start a period artificially. By that point my ovaries were like, calcified.

This warms my heart and fills my muscles with a certain hale I haven't felt in literally a decade hearing about your calcified ovaries.
How many blogs have I said something like "it sure is a shame you can reproduce"?
Well maybe never but I was sure thinking it.
Here's a blog where I can't say that.
That is one thing this blog has going for it.

Children were not in my future.

So I shop at Lane Bryant and keep tweezers in every room of the house. I still get acne. I'm not as pretty as I used to be, which contributes to my agoraphobia (that's another post, people).

Praise
Zeus

About four years ago I started menstruating again. It's painful and untrackable, sometimes I get premenstrual symptoms, sometimes I don't. It ranges between a 25 to 40 days between flows.

If this were a Greek play the amount of gods you'd have pissed off to see this level of misfortune visited upon you would be the length of my arm.
Zeus
Hera
Apollo
Do you know how hard it is to piss off Zeus and Hera at the same time?
Pissing off one is likely pleasing the other so I don't even understand how this would be possible.
You must be an awful human being is what I'm getting at.
Actually I'm not sure what you did to piss off Zeus. Zeus sure doesn't like a whiner but I don't know. His other crimes include hubris and hypocrisy and you seem okay (as okay as a Livejournal user can be) on that front.

Do I resent me mudder for not allowing me to take the meds? Yes. But what I resent more is the bullshit patriarchal belief/political system that indoctrinated her to put the alleged wishes of some imaginary sky fairy, written about in a book thousands of years before commercial oral contraception was available, above the medical needs of her child.

Hera sure doesn't like people who disrespect their parents, that's for sure.
The will of the old gods should be observed not out of fear of damnation but because it is a good idea.
Also I like that bulletproof logic. It's not your mom's fault for being a stupid cunt it's somehow society's fault for--
wait, why is it society's fault again?
Patriarchal beliefs--
okay.

I'm a slut on my own terms.

Well at least Aphrodite would be pleased with you.
Except she is vain and only cares about beauty so I bet she'd be very displeased you make a mockery of her glorious and unburdened ways.
The will of the gods sure is hard to keep track of.

The sexist, homophobic, and sizeist drivel being directed at Jennifer Hepler? Stop for a second, and look at your own life. Then look at this woman who has written for some of the most successful and critically-acclaimed video games in history, who has created memorable, relatable characters that are part of the pop culture landscape.

Here's your tissues. We'll wait while you finish crying.

>Hamburger Helper
>creating memorable, relatable characters
So I'll explain.
There's a company called Bioware and they make video games known for their characters and plot and for actually telling a good story and shit.
This was circa 2000.
Well flash forward to 2012 and they hire some landwhale named Jennifer Hepler who couldn't write a believable character if you gave her the entire biography and told her to slap her name on it and suddenly women (who are now the primary consumer of Bioware games) are throwing a shitfit because the traditionally male dominated gamer demographic doesn't want their games to be a homosexual soap opera where you can skip the fighting to get to more gay sex.
Yes, one of her proposed innovations that's gaining steam is the ability to skip fights in RPGs.
Skip the fighting
in a game
about fighting.
But clearly this is homophobic, sexist and because she's fat.
Not because, you know, she's a scourge.
I'd also like to point out the traditional gamer demographic has never been known for its kindness and another man, Gabe Newell, is also frequently made fun of for being fat and yet no one ever mentions this because Gabe Newell is an all around good guy and doesn't give a fuck and is too busy being a billionaire to care what some nerds on the internet think.
Also he created Half-Life which is more than Hamburger Helper will ever be able to claim.

Hey, Hepler said it herself - they're just jealous because she has a vagina AND works in the videogaming industry. That's when they started spewing their frothy diarrhea all over her twitter, because SHE'S RIGHT.

She is EVERYTHING they want to be and she does what they WISH they could do, and she does with WITH A VAGINA.

Pretty sure the point she was making was she had a vagina and they'll never have girlfriends.
Which is a cunning strategy by an equally cunning linguist.
But when what's attached to the vagina looks like this I think you've kind of lost your point.
The good news is I can sit above it all because I was never a Bioware fan. I considered Baldur's Gate overrated and kind of outdated at the time and the first Mass Effect was an enjoyable but overall forgettable and derivative scifi game.

*highfive* you said it, woman.
Their discomfort with the inclusion of ANY romance in gaming, much less same-sex options, speaks volumes as to their real-life prowess *cough*lackthereof*cough* with meaningful relationships.

Oh shit son got 'em.
Actually every complaint I've ever heard about any romance in any video game hinges more around it being unbelievable or the spouse they chose would not have been one they'd have chosen otherwise.
Nerds being predictable creatures are more than comfortable discussing their lack of real world experience but are well known for being exceptionally choosy in terms of waifus.
In fact I imagine 90% of the problems in Mass Effect's brilliant romance subplot could have been eliminated if you could create your own waifu.
Also in a game where I'm literally a secret agent in space hunting an alien super intelligence somehow my interest isn't talking about purses and going to the mall with some blue slut.
Call this the difference between men and women's fiction I guess.

Seriously.

SORRY NECKBEARDS, WE'RE TAKING OVER. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

It's like, you aren't going to stop it, so just STFU and keep jerking your mini pork sword to sexed-up comic book characters, because we all know that you can't get any IRL.

You can't have "your" games or "your" little exclusive world back.

Now it's time to play my favorite game:
replace the word "neckbeards" with "blacks" or "Jews".
Suddenly seems a lot more hostile, doesn't it?
But go ahead you worthless cunts, have fun with your gay romance simulators. Your attention spans will lapse as they invariably do and you'll flit impotently to the next Facebook fad.
Ohhh goodness.

I like walking into the local gaming store with J. and having all these hunchedover douchebags having a LAN party suddenly go silent at the presence of ESTROGEN in their dank smelly MANCAVE OF HELL. Seriously, they have no idea how to act around females, its HILARIOUS when I ask questions about shit that ONLY MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT.

9/10 there's a woman working at the game store I go to and they're probably so taken aback at how much of a cunt you're acting they can't see straight anymore.
This is exactly what I was talking about before. Why am I supposed to be impressed by this? You don't see me marching into a crafting store and saying LOOK! I AM A MAN WHO SCRAPBOOKS!
Ignoring for the moment I don't scrapbook I wouldn't expect to be accommodated specially even if I were.

"Hey, do you have any WoW TCG loot cards? Specifically looking for vanity pets if you have any."

"I didn't know anyone wasted their money on useless vanity items in a video game. Good work shedding those gender stereotypes you useless sow."
And then I'd be fired.
Ohhh I can't wait for this girls and gaming fad to die. If only so Edie Finds a Corpse can go back to business as usual.
Look at me I'm a guy and I work in a store that sells cooking stuff
DON'T HIT ON ME SILLY OLDER WOMEN xP

Seriously. All the fucking manchild problems being faced by the manchildren? ARE THEIR OWN DAMN FAULT.

Remember: replace "manchild" with "African American".
If nerds seem angry because you're a woman it's because nerds are very angry people. You just happened to be a woman and in their line of fire.
If you were black guess what?
A Jew?
Asian?
Another white guy just like them?
Doesn't fucking matter.
I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've been called a racist slur that doesn't even make sense. Angry, angry people.
So I'm going to cut this entry off here because it's pretty much more of the same from here on-- her whining about female problems, her getting angry at white nerds like myself for some reason--
Oh but before I go check this shit out:
And yeah that was a guy who stopped dead in his tracks to look at my character for like 5 minutes.
I imagine if you were a woman in real life that would get very tedious and creepy but fortunately none of you on Livejournal are hot enough to manage that feat.
Hot brown girl?
Full Monk Artifact Armor?
Day 2 of the patch that added said armor?
Edie sure has it going on.
Not pictured: my half completed set of black mage armor.
Anyway this entry is way too fucking long already.
Goodbye.

I'm not taking any shit or piss

Jesus Christ do I have a decision to make. This weekend is TERA Beta III but IT'S ALSO FFXIV PATCH TIME OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK?
Too many sluts in my life right now and they're all named Edie.
Including this fucking blog. Fuck this shit.
I dunno this is a pretty important patch. New job stuff I want to get in on as quickly as possible.
Also I gotta go do the grocery store thing.
Fuck the economy.
I'm told I should be thankful I have a job at all because most people can't even get what I have but you know, come on.
A superior specimen such as myself can't be expected to do this lowly work for long.
Anyway back to the FFXIV shit-- oh wait, right, blogs.
I gotta save my off topic bullshit for the content.

If you’ve seen my fanfiction page, you already know a little bit about me. Relatively fresh out of grad school, newlywed, and fresh on the job, it seems as if I’m just now starting to put my life together but caught in one of those conundrums that ironically screams “welcome to the real world, you sucker.” I thought I had it all figured out. But who does?

Me, I do.
I'm less than two weeks into this shitty job and already I'm afforded (dubious) honors people with seniority over me don't have.
IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE MY SUPERIORITY IS PROVEN.

I never did like graduate school. In fact, I hated it. I was isolated from my friends and family and the town I lived in was a dump, other than the fact that it existed only as a college town. I didn’t go out to the bars and/or party because I was a graduate student – I spent most of my time studying. If I did have time to go out, I was either too broke or too tired to actually do it. I missed being in college. Graduate school is not college. Hell, getting a master’s degree is one thing. Getting a Ph.D. should be classified as full-fledged indentured service.

I didn't study like I should have and I graduated with honors.
I paid for that in a different way, though, holy shit.

As it turns out, the decision to attend a school like this with no source for gigantic funding or money-making-sports-machine established Ph.D. program in biology is really hurting my career right now. I have the degree but that's just a piece of paper. What I lack is knowledge only gained from state-of-the-art courses, laboratories, and overall research opportunities that was NOT present during my time as a grad student.

Yes, it's their fault you don't know fuck about shit and not your own for not studying.

Let me put it this way: AP students in high school are taking classes I took as a graduate student. Absolutely pathetic.

...
You know I had this argument with someone once, that graduate school is where the cocks are and college ain't shit but when I pointed out I was currently sitting in a master level class as an undergraduate and I have the highest GPA in the class and I'm starting to wonder if people aren't just dumber than I am and he disagreed and I'd have my ass handed to me eventually.
Well it never happened and now I hear this shit.

I was unemployed for several months before finding a part-time job and keeping it for over a year before finally settling for a full-time job that pays way below the skill level (as most jobs are right now. I’ve even heard of law and med school students being strippers to pay their bills. I say more power to ‘em).

I say you shouldn't sit down and accept this.
Homer called Odysseus one of the greatest warriors ever and it wasn't because he was strong. He was cunning.
It's time to be cunning.
Such a decadent society is filled to the brim with easy targets and babby's first backstab that a mind like mine can see coming a thousand miles away.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ungrateful for what I have. I’m very aware of the economic situation all over the world, I’m very aware of the alarming number of people that got laid off and are unemployed (a few of my relatives are included in those statistics), and I know that I’m very lucky to be in the position I’m in.

Fortunate or not I will succeed.
Fortune is no reason to lie down and accept your lot.
Unless you're a peasant, of course.

Am I bitching about my degree? Well, yes and no, but I believe that hard work ultimately pays off and that God has strange way of leading us down the paths we’re meant to walk.

Oofuh – did she say God?

Damn right I did.

Oh
SHIT.

The hell am I doing in biology?

Good question. I’m a conservative Christian – and leaving all politics and religion out of this – what the shit am I doing scientific research for?

Conservative Christian
Supporter of strippers
No I'm not buying it.

My favorite Final Fantasy game had always been FFVIII, with FFX coming in a close second, but I’d never thought of Quistis and Seifer’s background or relationships that extensively until reading

I'm trying desperately to find that entry where I said "only girls like FFVIII" and I can't.
How can you like FFVIII? It sucked. The plot made no sense, the combat made even less sense and was tedious busywork and for a Final Fantasy game it only had one song on the entire soundtrack that approached memorable.

My hobbies include playing video games, reading fiction, and watching the occasional boob tube. I wish I'd look like a female anime character.

Anime characters have disturbing proportions. They'd be very unnerving to witness in real life.

I like to believe I have a sense of humor, something that also seems to be missing in science. I mean, it’s there…but it’s always the nerdy inside-joke “I’d like to get into your genes, heheheh” type bullshit. My type of humor cannot be seen in the workplace,

So?
Neither can mine. If I call a customer a cunt I get fired but such is the price you pay.

Stifled robot or not, this is what helps me cope. This is me. I curse like a sailor, I love fantasy, I want to attend at least one comic-con in my lifetime,

You do? I've already said fuck and cunt like 15 million times in this one entry alone and you've said, what, hell once?
Oh God all her entries are hidden behind cuts and she only has three entries per page before I have to click "back 3 entries".
It's like she engineered this to piss me off.

I always grew up as one of the guys, simply because I fucking hate drama and I can't stand talking about what’s going on in Hollywood, Coach purses, or Sex and the City.

Number of times I've heard girls say they can't stand hanging out with other girls: too many to count
Number of times I've heard guys say they can't stand hanging out with other guys: 0
Are women biologically disposed to hating each other or is there something else at work here?
Personally I take this as further proof for why you should consider me the greatest sage of our time when I advise everyone to date brown girls but I can't really explain how these things are related yet.

Well, I don't have anything in common with some of these people. Take a gander at my profile. Hobbies that I like aren’t hobbies to other people; in fact, I’m somewhat of an outcast since apparently playing role-playing video games and having an interest in science qualifies me as a certified loser.

You like FFVIII. I have yet to see proof you're actually a fan of video games.
Here's her whining about how slutty Barbie looks now--
God I feel like I've been spending a lot of time listening to women whine lately.
Well it's that or nothing because I reached the beginning of her blog--

After bitching and moaning about how scantily-clad most of the dolls were (to their credit, they were wearing bikinis, but c'mon - it's almost December) to how much the fully-clothed ones cost (the specialty "princess" dolls were over $20 and others were just at $20), my husband and I finally settled on a Barbie doll that was wearing a hot pink, shiny dress with a black-bowtie-choker. She was apparently shopping, because her accessory was a grey shopping basket.

Bracing myself for "stereotypical gender roles" and I'm not putting up with any of this shit after working the grocery business for an entire two weeks.
All of the music that plays there: geared towards women
90% of grocery shoppers: women
all of the problem customers: women

What is she doing? Is she at a sex shop, searching for a whip? Is she at the drugstore, searching for items to make meth? I'll never know.

She's probably grocery shopping. I've seen some shit, man.
These 40 year old women come in dressed in what they have no business being dressed in and you can hear their biological clock ticking down like a fucking nuclear warhead.
I feel kinda bad for them.

I guess my point is that Barbie looks pretty skanky, and I'm not really proud I bought it.

There was this one Hispanic MILF that came in yesterday looking for ginger root (I remember because holy shit I've never seen ginger in my life) she was annoying but I was about to put the moves on but then her kid ran up.
I can respect being a dutiful mom but you know if you're going to dress like a skank at the grocery store you might want to leave the baggage behind.
And why is it none of the hot brown girls ever need help? I go out of my way to make sure their shopping experience is the best it can be because this is my in I'm a dutiful employee and yet they never do.

This toy is supposed to go to an innocent little girl through a Catholic charity, and while I'm definitely no saint, I don't believe a small child's toy should be sexed up like this. I also noticed that all of the Barbies have significantly more makeup than I remember, too. I suppose that my husband and I are to blame since we bought the stupid thing and didn't pony up to buy a more expensive version (I really wanted to get the Nurse Barbie, but that didn't happen), but come on.

See it's your fault. You bought slut Barbie when you could have had slutty fetish nurse Barbie instead.
I mean this is the reason she'll never become a nurse and instead will be a stripper.

I was, however, reminded of the movie Love Actually, when Emma Thompson's character was showing her husband two different types of dolls and said, "Now, which doll shall we give Daisy's little friend Emily; the one that looks like a transvestite or the one that looks like a dominatrix?"

(If you haven't seen the movie, watch it - it's definitely the season for it. I watch it every year around Christmastime.)

I don't think that'll be happening.
Unless I somehow spring ovaries.
So speaking of people dressed like dominatrices (as the plural of dominatrix is dominatrices just like codex's plural is codices and GOD I KNOW TOO MUCH SHIT) there's going to be a whole slew of new armor for dear old Edie this Friday.
Can't wait to get that monk armor, man.
Seems like she'll be a bit too decent, though. Can't have that.
Or maybe she won't. I don't rightly know.
The rule for the new jobs is you have to have a main job at 30 and a subjob at 15.
Of course I have all jobs at 50 so I'm going to be in for a fucking run around this weekend. Completing all quest chains for all jobs is going to be some shit, man.
Hopefully they're good and not like, I dunno, conjurer's quest line which is a bunch of goddamn whining.
Or worse, Goldsmith?
Holy motherfuck that quest was bad. MY BROTHER IS DEAD AND WAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS GIRL WHO IS A WHORE and I don't care, seriously. What do you want made and how much does this pay?
At least culinarian had the decency to be balls out insane on top of the whining.
Like you fell in love with a prostitute and you're surprised she is a prostitute for a living?
Come on, guy.
Oh right. Blog over.
Go home.

You fucking people

Can't commit to anything, can you?
Check out this motherfucking question:

How has technology benefited the world? Or has it worsened it?

The answer is too complex for you retards to properly grasp it but suffice it to say the world has benefited immensely from technology.
When you say "the world" I assume you mean "humanity" because overall other species don't give a fuck one way or another.
I know HUMANS KILL ANIMALS HURR DURRR but really less than 1% of all the species that have ever lived are still around so humanity is ultimately a flash in the pan in comparison to some disasters.
How has technology benefited man?
A more appropriate question would be how hasn't technology benefited man?
Longer lives, healthier lives--
bullshit electronics you can stand around and gawk at in the middle of the produce department while I'm trying to put organic oranges on a shelf and you're standing in my fucking way.
In fact, speaking of technology benefiting people: the produce department.
Trucks to ship shit from halfway around the country, the Haber process which likely helped grow the fucking food in the first place (can't naturally plant that much shit to feed this world's bloated population) refrigeration to keep it from spoiling, pesticides to make sure it's maggot free-- literally there should not be a solitary moment in your life where you are not in awe of what people who aren't peasants have done for you, lowborn.
And yet the answer overwhelmingly is "both".
WHAT A SIDE STEP FUCKING ANSWER. SHOW SOME CONVICTION.
Oh right, blogs.
Here we go.

Define "technology," and I'll be able to give that question a far more concise and direct answer.

Are you fucking kidding me?
Define technology.
What, are we all working off a different definition?
Techne, meaning skill or craft, and -ology, meaning the study of.
THE STUDY OF SHIT YOU CRAFT I MEAN GODDAMN ARE YOU PEOPLE THICK OR WHAT?

Suffice to say that I believe that humans—like other primates, corvid birds, and sea otters—are tool-users by nature.

You believe humans are tool users.
As in you're not sure?
I'm pretty sure humans use tools. I'm pretty sure you used one to type this bullshit, in fact.
Come to think of it: where is your reading comprehension? The question wasn't "do people use technology?" it's "has it improved the world?"
F- see me after class.
Apparently she got banned from a WoW board (who gives a shit?) and this drama extends over two posts. Maybe you should go play the fucking game instead of whining about a suspension on a forum.

Damn female pandaren discussion jumped from fat-shaming to thin-shaming.

... So I'll explain.
Pandaren are a race of panda men in the Warcraft universe. They are the focus of the up and coming World of Warcraft expansion, errr, something Pandaren.
Furries, as we call them in the real world. And the nerds are upset their furry waifus aren't thin. Or women are upset they don't realistically portray women (read: they aren't fatter than they are in real life) or something. I can't figure this shit out and frankly I don't give a shit.

She's not at all appropriate for the race's theme. But the thin-shaming B.S. is a whole 'nother ballgame, and it needs to stop.

Everyone's talking about body shaming and gay marriage and the depiction of fucking people of color (their term) in a video game. When did video games become so political?
Oh right, when people who have no business playing them started playing them.
Thanks.
Also people of color aren't properly represented in MMOs? The center of my game play experience in FFXIV is a woman of color so go suck 53 dicks. I have two minority cards to play in that shit.

Keep in mind, first off, that even in games where I can customize my characters, I never attempt to create "myself" in the game: For one, I almost never play humans.

K.
Don't care.

That said: on principle alone I agree, wholeheartedly, with this article. I find it fundamentally weird that you're more likely to be able to play a blue alien (with the standard-issue Heroic Build, of course) than to be able to play a fat character.

I omitted the link because blogs linking blogs linking blogs and she summarized it for you.
If you care you can find it.
Also: video games are sold to men. That's how it is.
Nerds are way more attracted to hot blue bitches than fat chicks.
I know most weak willed faggots would apologize here (sorry but that's how it is, IE) but it seems obvious enough to me I'm surprised I even have to state it.
In fact you should apologize to me for wasting my time like this.

(Totally not grumbling here about how my draenei priest is supposed to be pudgy, or that my mage is skinny and flat-chested,*

So?
I mean seriously? You're pissing because your character isn't flat enough?
I'll admit I'm fond of a smaller chest myself (stating as often as I do that brown girls and Asian girls are the choice for cultured gentleman such as myself limits me in regards to tits) but you don't hear me complaining that Edie has a larger chest than what I would have picked out, do you?
Of course not. It's silly.
In fact, an open minded, reasonable, liberal, superior man like myself would say I like her anyway.

or that the retvindicatrix is rawboned, even if their damn models don't reflect it because that wasn't an option, no siree...)

No idea what that even means--

Now, I've still got some degree of hope that Blizzard won't screw up female pandaren (all noise from self-entitled nerds aside).

>Self-entitled nerds
>entire video game culture made by nerds for nerds
man we sure are assholes.
Seriously change the term "nerd" to something else to see how stupid that sounds.
Self-entitled Chinese making Chinese culture for the Chinese.
Have you ever considered perhaps video games aren't for you?
You don't see me marching into a fucking scrap booking store and demanding to be accommodated, do you?
Oh here's her idea for an MMO.
Let's do this shit.

First off: the genre. Let's stick to fantasy, for now (although space-opera could be fun).

First sentence and already I have a big fucking problem with this. Let's stick to fantasy for now?
Like what, if you change your mind mid development they just have to dump all those art assets and music to shift it over to scifi?
Also yet another fantasy (or scifi) MMO. Good, there definitely aren't enough of those.

Along with being non-standard, the world would be big—as close to "sandbox" as I could get it. The environment would ideally be as interactive as that of DDO, with traps, climbing, secret passageways, and destructible items.

Yes, because that's what makes a world sandbox. Tons of dumb busy work.
God this is already bringing my piss to a fucking boil.

Now, character creation: Dichotomous, race-defined factions are getting old. Now, the idea has been challenged a few times in the past; WoW has different sorts of elf on each faction, and Rift has different elves and different humans.

An MMO without factions?
Never heard of one of those before.
Your first MMO was WoW, wasn't it?
You do realize that's fairly unusual and pretty much bound to WoW and its clones, right?
Most MMOs don't have two factions that battle-- never mind.

My solution would be to do away with race-defined factions altogether. You'd start neutral with all of the rep factions in the game (possibly one step higher or lower, depending on various factors) and gain (or sometimes lose, if you fell in with a faction that had a rival) reputation as you played. These pairs of rival factions, by the way, would also determine PvP; you'd sign on as a "mercenary" for one or the other and fight mercenaries from the other side.

Or how about you go with your original sandbox idea and let players define the factions?
Guild versus guild fights?
You know, sort of like TERA or Lineage 2 or Star Wars Galaxies or Ultima Online or any number of MMOs that have already done this exact idea?

The game would have at least as many playable races as WoW.

Wow at least as many race choices as World of Warcraft.
Over 10 entire races in this video game!
How is it I bullshitted a design document for an MMO and the term "World of Warcraft" didn't appear once?
Why is it every MMO now has to be "World of Warcraft PLUS THIS"?

I'm up in the air as to whether or not to include the standard fantasy races, but there would certainly be a lot of nonstandard ones. (Among others, I had in mind a race with some limited capacity for flight, and a semi-aquatic race.)

Oh hey what's this?
I mean goddamn are you even trying?

Each race would have at least two starting areas (some of which would overlap with starting areas for other races), which would influence customization options and, potentially, starting reputation with certain factions.

It's called Everquest. It came out in 1999.

Customization? Here's where I'd really want to start going above and beyond. The creation screen would be as intuitive as those of Rift or DDO, with a similar number of alterable categories (specific facial features, eye color, et cetera). You'd also get the same plethora of options within each category—for each race and sex—as WoW has for...let's say female humans.

World of Warcraft is not well known for its character creation options and probably isn't a good standard of comparison because it is pretty much the lowest.
Off the top of my head I can think of at least five games with more character creation options than WoW that came out before WoW so really when you say "more character creation options than WoW' you could just say "some character creation options."

I'd also implement different body types, but not in the form of a body slider. I've seen some ridiculous bugs result from glitches with those. (A limited height slider like Rift's, however, shouldn't have the same issues.) Instead, your character's race and sex would not rigidly determine your model; you'd get a choice of three or four different models with distinct but not extreme physiques (slim, muscular, average, pudgy, and so on) within that race and sex.

So TOR.
TOR did this.
Or as I called them: "normal, manjaw, fat and fat".
Who gives a shit about physiques in video games?
Waifus are petite and waifish
If you're a fag you pick the big beefcake with rippling biceps and cocks-- SIMPLE SHIT LET'S DO THIS FUCKING VIDEO GAME I CAN'T WAIT TO CLICK BUTTONS FOR HOURS ON END LIKE A LAZY PIECE OF SHIT.

Art style would be high-quality, consistent, and less cartoonish than WoW's, but not so realistic as to edge into the uncanny valley.

FFXIV, Age of Conan, EVE, Phantasy Star Universe, FFXI, TERA (arguably), Warhammer Online--
Also you don't want bleeding edge graphics that excludes 90% of all possible consumers when your idea is to get money from them every month.

Now, to actual character building and advancement:

Yes, I'm over halfway through your "design document" (as I'm generously going to call it) and finally we're approaching gameplay.
It's really telling when gameplay appears after character customization (trying outfits on) and graphics.
I'll give you setting should come first since that is the most immediate thing you'll see in the game but come the fuck on.

While I'd stick with levels, I'd do away with classes altogether. Instead, you'd pick and choose from a set number of physical-combat and magic skills (of which you'd have a wide array of choices), and rout your advancement points into them.

So you'd keep levels but you'd do away with levels--
I'm confused now.
Levels generally define character strength in a level based game and what you describe is the so called (and often neglected) "skill based" model where skills are leveled independently with no level.

There would be no race restrictions to any skillset, although certain races might have edges in certain areas.

So there are race restrictions. MMO players especially will only accept the highest possible numbers. Saying one race is better at swords than another is telling your average MMO player "if you want to use swords be this race."
Perhaps what she was describing with that skill thing was a FFXI/XIV model where you have classes but can freely change between all of them?
I don't know.

Crafting would be separate from combat skills, and I'm still mulling over how I'd want to handle it. But the idea that some armor and weapons could be improved/upgraded by way of the appropriate crafting skills (and expenditure of materials) appeals to me.

So you've basically described WoW with a simple upgrade system that games in the 1980s had--
Man can't wait to plunk down 60 bucks plus 15 a month for this winner.

Armor would have volume to it. I like that detail in Rift, and to some degree in WoW (although that latter keeps occasionally Doing It Wrong). While I'd be tempted to include massive, over-the-top pauldrons just to preemptively placate the people who like the damn things, there would certainly be an option to hide them.

But what does it look like?
Segmented? Layered?
Padded?
Eastern? Western?
Baroque?
Classical?
Gothic?

And just to make the TERA kids squirm...any skimpy outfit (yes, there'd be a few, although they'd generally be either low-level items or difficult to acquire) would be just as skimpy (if not more so) on a male character.

OH YOU GO GIRL YOU'RE SO LIBERAL AND ENLIGHTENED AND--

Oh fuck games already do this.
Can you fucking believe this post ended with not a single solitary mention of what you actually do in the game? I have a vague idea of how a waifu might look and be dressed in the game. Well, I say "vague idea" but I think that might be a bit generous. So she'll be a race that might wear armor of some kind. Great, thanks for describing video games.

Apparently, a lesbian player¹ asked why there were no gay characters in WoW² at Blizzcon.

Because all of the characters in WoW are quest vendors specifically there to tell me to go kill 10 of X to get Y amount of EXP and Z item?

And, of course, there were the typical whines about "entitlement." As I asked several people: how is it any skin off your nose if the game doesn't cater exclusively to you?

Because there's 0 romance in World of Warcraft of any kind and to kowtow to every girl that wants it to be a wedding simulator basically ensures the slow demise of a game people otherwise loved?
She then bitches that "not appropriate given the setting" isn't an appropriate response but it is.
That is absolutely the response I'd expect to hear and I'd further add that any romance in World of Warcraft is inappropriate and not the focus of the game.
There was a poll in FFXIV recently voting for gay marriage in game.
I voted against it because I'm against marriage in game period.

Now, admittedly? Calling someone stupid is often the mark of a limited vocabulary. But questioning someone's intelligence (or at least reasoning capacity and/or educability) is not automatically an insult to mentally disabled people.* Even if one doesn't acknowledge the legitimacy of language drift?

Cool argument.
"Calling you retarded is okay because the definitions of words change."
Well then you're a stupid cunt who should die of AIDS but it's okay because definitions change and that doesn't mean nearly what you think it does. It's not sexist, it's language drift!
The part that really puts my nuts in a meat grinder here is someone called her a cunt (in an unlinked forum post that she mentioned in a post I didn't quote from) and she called him sexist.
I use cunt to describe both men and women who act a certain way so isn't that language drift and not sexism?
Somehow I bet it's not okay when I do it, though.
Also what really throws my rectum through a salad shooter here is she also linked the Wikipedia article to language drift.
Like I get it, you read an article once. Stop it.

Overzealous WoW fans who trash on Rift remind me of overzealous 4th-edition Dungeons & Dragons fans who trash on Pathfinder.

Shit got 'em.
Done.
What the fuck does that even mean? I know what all four of these things are and yet I'm completely clueless.

Next WoW player who whines about all of the grey and gray morality in Rift?

The morality in Rift was pretty straightforward from what I recall. I forget the factions but the one with the weird sun logo was the morally superior one.
The Defiant, that's it.
If you want some gray morality play some FFXIV.
Where even the good guys are bad guys.
That's how real shit gets.
Jesus Christ this entry sure is long. I guess when you get girls talking shit about a subject they don't understand that's important to me you've stumbled upon the PERFECT RAGE STORM.