I didn't even read this.

This looks good enough I guess.
Today's writer's block really kind of confuses me. It's entitled "eye for an eye?" but then the question is this:

If you bumped into someone who regularly picked on you as a child, what would you say to them?

Say? I'd punch the fucker. That's for old times, cocksucker.
Of course no one picked on this paragon of manliness so I don't know.
Reprisal's a bitch.

Nothing, I'd just walk right on by.

Oh what's up, beta?
Fishwithwindows (what) had this to say in response:

yes this is the best answer

BETA MEN WALKIN' BY.
I don't even know that these are men. Likely they're women.

In the spirit of being home early for the holidays due to my mother's declining health, I am going to try to catalogue the more ridiculous/bigoted things she says while I'm here.

Cut the woman some slack, Jesus. She has declining health.
I'd be cursing anyone healthier than me.

Now, my mother is extremely progressive as far as most people go. She's not an LGBT activist but considering she's first-in-family to get a post-secondary education, she has come a long way.

I dunno the supposedly liberal-leaning people in my pussy sensitivity class were pretty goddamn bigoted. Just because you have a degree in some fuck doesn't make you worldly or intelligent or even educated. All that shit has to kinda come from within first.
... Education isn't something that's done to you, you people do realize that, right?

That said, she's never really dealt with gay people, let alone trans people...

Oh God, can't I for once deal with normal gender and sexuality issues on Livejournal? Can't I just for once have a guy say "I really love my girlfriend!" and that be the end of it? Or fuck, a guy could say "I really love my boyfriend!" and have that be the end of it? No it always has to be this confusing shit where I need a goddamn scorecard.

and now she has what she thinks is a lesbian daughter who dresses in boy clothes. Fun times!

She thinks? Are you are aren't you?

Upon seeing me on Thursday after I rushed over after my exam, her first words are "ugh I hate your pants". I dress in full men's clothes now and have for a month, it makes me so much more comfortable about myself and I've told her that I wear it because it's comfortable.

I have heard from three women that they're jealous of men's jeans because the pockets are really deep. Shit is pretty cash. I always reckoned that's why you ladies carried purses so you wouldn't need deep pockets but I guess having it on you instead of near you is better.

I didn't even realize that I was binding that day until she later made some comment about "giving up on being female" and "chopping off [my] breasts and getting rid of [my] uterus".

Likely she means binding her breasts which is a practice I'm somewhat familiar with because I'm a weeaboo faggot and happen to know women in Japan many years ago used to bind their busts if they had larger chests because contrary to everything Western smaller breasts were deemed more attractive than larger ones.

Personally I say it depends on the woman but likely anything more than a handful is a waste.
Note that I am not out to her, she just came up with this because I explained I was wearing a light compression shirt as she was perplexed by my flatter chest. She also told me she cries herself to sleep at night because I wear male pants.

Called that shit.
Thank you Lone Wolf and Cub for helping me read bullshit later in life.

Granted, my sister (15) took one look at me and said "are you like transgender or something?" in this borderline scathing tone.

She's 15. I spent two days a week surrounded by the assholes so I know from experience they only have two tones: off and scathing.
Or "off and derp" if you're a football player. Some stereotypes are true.

I'm not sure if she meant it to be an insult but it certainly came across as something not-positive. Meanwhile, my brother (17) asked for me to give him my shirt "once [you] get tired of it". I thought that was kind of awesome. I am one well-dressed dude, no doubt about it.

Except you're a chick.

Anyway, mother ended up asking me to dress more female around her family, especially her father as he'll be confused about it and ask repetitive questions.

Old people are always confused by confusing things.
Fuck I'm 23 and I get confused with Livejournal users.
I'm a simple man with simple wisdom.
Or I'm stupid, whatever. All I know is I have no idea what the fuck you people are on about usually.

I only brought male clothes with me so far but I have an exam on Thursday evening so I'll be spending the night at home. I guess I'll be bringing more girl-side-of-androgynous clothing back with me on Friday.

See this is exactly what I mean. "Andro" in "androgynous" means "man" and "gyno" means "woman" so it's literally being a man-woman. You can't have a "girl-side" to "androgynous" because it is by definition both things. That's like saying "the head-side of my coin" as if the head side of a coin is a separate entity from the coin itself and see what I mean when these Livejournal users sound like they're fucking crazy?

Honestly, considering the state of my mother's health, I'm surprised this is an issue at all. My mom explained that she doesn't have the energy to explain me and that's why I should dress girl-mode as a Christmas present to her. If she wasn't so ill, I'd call her out on her behaviour, but alas... it's all about priorities.

Her face when I make subtle gay jokes around her family is rather priceless though.

All right we get it you're gay, Christ all mighty. There's about to be a death in the family on Christmas must you make this more complicated?

I find myself spend more and more time reflecting on the future of late.

Reflecting on the future?
... How? How can you reflect on something that hasn't happened yet?

On the school side, I plan to be done my Bachelor's degree next spring (not 2011, but 2012). After this, I'd like to go on to veterinary college. Being a vet is a career I can envision myself in for the day to day grind without coming out the other side as a mentally emaciated and distraught individual.

>Mentally distraught
>watch animals die all day
Yeah you're not saving them all.

These are all things that I can control to a high degree. It's my marks (therefore my scholarly effort) that will determine whether or not I make it into veterinary college or not.

Not always.
In fact, not usually. It's not what you know, it's who you know.

I'd also be presenting male fulltime, have my name legally changed and have my gender markers changed on some paperwork if not all. I would ideally have undergone top surgery as well as a hysterectomy (especially if I will have been on T for 5 years).

How are you affording all this?
It's none of my business but I suspect it's tax dollars at work, yo.

I can't really explain why my education is so paramount,

I can in one word: money.

I find that these posts are both awesomely introspective and handy for people to decide whether they want to get to know me better.

Oh here we go with a handy primer. Just what I needed.

While I usually go for the full 100, I think a more detailed 15 will suffice for now.

I'd seriously struggle to come up with 100 facts related to me and not something stupid I happen to enjoy. Man, people really think about themselves too much. I'd go five and then start talking about Warhammer or Pokemon or something.

Let's start off with some basic info!

Yes, some basic info.

My name is Logan Alex*, I'm 21 at the time of this writing (December 2010) and I am a pre-everything transguy living in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I'm in my fourth (of five) years at Carleton University working on a Bachelor of Science (Honours) in Neuroscience.

That's really interesting.

I live with a neutered orange tabby of just over a year (Remi), a female bearded dragon of about three years (Pog) and my awesome roomie who expected a female roommate but is ending up with a dude... and is luckily cool with that (J).

Isn't this three or possibly four, five or six facts, depending on what we deem to be the smallest amount of useful information that constitutes a fact (I can't put enough sarcasm quotes around "useful" so I won't even try).

*I'm undecided as to whether I want to go with "Alexandre", as a tribute to my francophone heritage, or go with the more linguistically neutral "Alexis".

So here's a deep question for everyone: would you rather have sex with a transguy or a transgirl?
Suicide or "I choose not to have sex" or something like that is not an option. You must pick.

Likewise, I will be making an effort to write only public posts on this journal. I think it's beneficial for other people to indulge in their creepy stalking behaviour, so I may as well expose my thoughts to the whole of the internet.

She's probably aiming that at me and people like me but I'm not stalking you, whatever you are. I just happened on it.

That doesn't make a lick of sense, I know. I guess what I mean by this is that I want to put my thoughts out there and have people call me on them while I'm still in this flexible stage of establishing what kind of dude I am/want to be instead of after my self-image has solidifed into something potentially disastrous or insulting.

What the fuck am I reading?

I will refer to my childhood as "when I was a little girl" both in gest and in seriousness.

It's a joke but a SERIOUS FUCKING JOKE.
Also "jest" is spelled with a 'j'.

I do apologize if this journal becomes very transition-focused. I do have a life beyond my transition and I don't spend every minute of every day hating my body and wallowing in trangst or dysphoria.

Transgt.
That's up there with "fursecution", honest to God.

My goal in life is to become a veterinarian. That said, I am not a PETA-supporting kind of guy. I eat meat, it's pretty awesome, and I think artificial selection is really fascinating so long as it doesn't become harmful to the animal (ie. jaw deformities in lap dogs).

Artificial selection is the best kind of selection.

This is somehow really hard for people to grasp and I have gotten quite a bit of flack from it. I am not going to get all in your face about animal rights, but I do have my limits. Don't be a moron. Spay/neuter your pet if you're going to let it run amok outside, please. (And if your response to that is "that's the owner of the female's job!", I may want to punch you in the face. Just saying.)

So I have another deep philosophical issue: what say I follow the code of chivalry, which doesn't let me hurt women, but this person has insulted my honor. Am I implicitly allowed to punch them when issuing the challenge?

I guess you could classify me as a feminist ally. It's the same as being a straight dude who support LGB rights, right?

I'm only for one kind of right: my rights.
That's how real men operate, lady.

I still qualify myself as queer despite not having a damn clue where I fall on the Kinsey scale anymore. When I was 15 and became aware of sexuality in general, I identified as bisexual (starting at a 2).

I'd like to meet the person who can define and explain "bisexual" at the age of 2.
Fuck me, I'd like to meet someone who is 21 with memories from when they were 2.

For the 5 years after that, I basically slid my way happily across the scale to a 5 due to my history but effectively a 6. Now that I have embraced my gender identity, that should make me a 2 but effectively a 1.

I always considered myself a 7. I have no idea what we're talking about but if I were a number, it'd be 7.

However, since I have grown more comfortable with my identity I find myself firmly entrenched near 2 for all points and purposes.

Although my favorite number is 5 because it's V in Roman numerals and V is the coolest letter.

I guess you could say I'm a straight guy with a tendency to want to form bromances but little interest in fucking other dudes.

Bromance.
Man I've heard some terms today.

This may change once I begin taking Testosterone, though I hope it won't turn me completely gay, that would be confusing as hell.

THIS, CONFUSING? NO!
Also gay which way? If you're a dude with a cunt then I guess you're--
fuck it I'm not even getting involved.

I react really poorly to cancer jokes, suicide jokes, self-harm jokes and family-based jokes.

So do most people.
Also I've heard a lot of jokes in my time but I can't think of a single cancer joke.
Or a family-based joke, for that matter.

I could go into my history about that here but I assume it can be inferred from the above.

Not true, I just thought of a cancer joke:
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Leukemia.

I'm a nerd and a dork. I wouldn't quite say I'm a geek as I'm not very technologically savvy.

Oh well we have a very binary definition of geek, don't we? I'm offended.
No I'm just fucking with you. I'm not you, after all. I don't really get offended.

I do, however, enjoy learning for learning's sake.

I do hate it when people do this, though. I'M A HUGE NERD I LIKE NOT BEING A COMPLETE DUMBASS! Wow.

If you ever go to the dinosaur museum and you see this short guy trying very very hard not to squeal with glee (and failing), it's quite likely to be me. I like to think it's endearing and some of my friends think so as well.

Squealing is never endearing. It's a pig noise.

If I had my way, I'd just snuggle up to someone and interject smartass comments into the group conversation every now and then.

Snuggle up. Yes, men are well known for "snuggling up".

Oh yes, I am one cuddly motherfucker. I don't know how much of this is based on my dysphoria or what but I will gladly forego sex in favour of cuddles.

This is really interesting.

I really liked the word "dyke" (in a positive context, mind you).

Oh that's a neat trick. Whenever I use the term "faggot", "idiot", or "I hope you die" I only mean it in a positive context, mind you.
Oh and we've reached the end of the blog, how convenient.
Anyway tomorrow begins the CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR so stay listening.

Ehhh

Eeeeeeh.

It's December 4th and in support of NSPCC there are a good many people on facebook who have joined in the message of showing their support by changing their facebook pictures to cartoon characters and altering their status to further pass on the message.

Yeah I'm not entirely sure what this accomplishes but all right if people feel good about themselves whatever (and that seems to be the only goal in life anymore-- as long as you feel good about yourself).

Some people apparently have a problem with this. Those sanctimonious self-serving preaching types, who admittedly often do do charitable work, seem to be under the impression that people who have supported this movement are doing so instead of actually contributing to charities.

That is a good point, though. That's a common problem I find with pussies-- they seem to think "being aware" is a legitimate replacement for actually doing something.
It's the same type of person who thinks praying is a legitimate replacement for actually doing something about their problem.
I mean I'm not saying you shouldn't do this thing (go ahead, who cares?) but don't act like you're actually achieving a great work or anything.

Those people know where to shove that opinion. I don't appreciate being read the riot act by anyone unless I deserve it, and to have someone imply that I'm doing this to ease my conscience instead of actually doing anything is both offensive and inflammatory.

To quote Coolio, one of the greatest poets of our time:
"But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it."

For Sadiq to suggest that I'm doing this and not contributing any money seems to just be part of his pretentious moral preaching.

What is he? Muslim?
Who the fuck cares what he thinks, anyway? Who is Sadiq? He is nothing.

I'd love to know how he feels about street charity workers with clipboards who everyone so studiously avoids, the adverts with harrowing scenes that we are slowly as a society becoming immune to simply because we are constantly bombarded with such images, or the fact that of the charity money collected, far less is actually used for those who need the help as opposed to the administrative costs and pats on the back that these workers give themselves.

"Perhaps when you die we'll hang your corpse on a cross and make an idol out of you as well."
Me: 2
Christianity: 0

I'd love to know how Sadiq feels about the volunteer work my sisters and I have done at charity shops, and the work that my sister continues to do.

So evidently you don't keep doing this work. That was then, this is now, rest not on laurels of the past, etc. etc. etc.

Forgive me for paraphrasing a somewhat Christian ideology, but those who are more concerned with drawing people's attention to their good deeds are missing the point.

Well I'm not doing something good for it to slip by unnoticed that's for sure.

It's soooo nice being at home. As much as I miss Tom, and that isn't so bad because we've talked on and off for most of the day, it's nice to be back home where I actually feel appreciated and people are happy to see me :)

Let's try something new, users of Livejournal: let's edit for clarity and conciseness of thought.

It's been a pretty eventful fortnight and while it's overall been an awesome two weeks, there have been some slight dips in the happy graph.

Combine thoughts, Jesus. It has been an awesome and eventful two weeks. I have no idea what a happy graph is or how you can put a quantitative attribute to an emotion but whatever. "I'm level 35 happy!"

I don't think it's been understood how hurt and upset I am about how the Know Your World screenings I've had to do have been - you wouldn't have thought there'd be much stress in just showing a film, and to be honest neither did I, but I'm hoping that when I track down Matt (the guild officer supposed to be looking after societies) , I might finally get some moral support and back up from somebody who doesn't just think I'm exaggerating things to complain.

Look how fucking long this sentence is, Jesus Christ. This is literally longer than most paragraphs I write. I mean I know most Livejournal users have this logorrhea problem where words just vomit forth but holy fuck me.
What the hell is "Know Your World" anyway? Ugh forget it.

I don't appreciate anyone or anything making me cry. Ever. And the general filmsoc business needs to be sorted out or I'm going to lose my temper.

I've got a mode change for Livejournal too: let's try not being butthurt at everything for a full-- fifteen minutes (I was about to say 24 hours but then caught myself).
Sanctimonious tool preaches at you? Tell him to get fucked.
Movie makes you cry? Stop watching it.
Am I a goddamn rocket scientist for thinking this shit? If you don't like something don't fucking do it, what's the problem here?

Will update when less giddy. Will also probably explain why giddy. And why grinning like a loon.

The update where she's not miserable never came. I guess that's not as interesting as whatever the fuck I just read.

Well, I know it's been a year and a day since I've updated this thing, but then I've been inhumanly busy and even still not quite working hard enough.

A year and a day, what were you banished from Livejournal by Captain Stern of the Grey Knights? (Grey Knights always seem to banish demons for an amount of years plus a day [I felt the need to explain this increasingly obscure reference]).

Well, it's been an awfully long time since I've updated, and I can honestly say that it's really down to laziness. I've barely been online I suppose - in a constructive sense anyway. I've read an obscene amount of fanfiction.

Somehow I'm not surprised.

Oh look, they're adding goblins to FFXIV. The fact they were absent from the release is pretty inexcusable but at least they're there now.

Have you even had a moment, an hour, or a day that renewed your faith in the fundamental goodness of humankind?

Ha, ha, ha.
I've never seen this Writer's Block before.

Periodically, I see somebody perform some beautifully selfless deed on the tv (around sport relief etc times) and I feel like there are some redeeming features of humanity, but it's the little ordinary things that people do that really catch my attention.

Oh I just got a B+ in pussy sensitivity. Couldn't quite give me that A for obvious reasons (too fucking manly) but I guess that's appreciated.
This is shaping up to be a pretty B+ semester but that's fair enough I suppose because it has been a pretty F-- for me.

A friend who bought me flowers just because I offered him a lift for a while, seeing a guy help an old woman get something from the top shelf in the supermarket,

>Helping old women
>good
IT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO YOU FUCKS.
Oh my God I can't believe people. "Helped a little old woman my deed for the day is done." Gee wow, you grabbed her raisin bran from the top shelf because you're 6 foot and she's doubled over with Osteoporosis. Thanks a ton!
You can measure the worth of a society by how it treats its old people and its young people and I see failing grades all around.

somebody who smiles when you pass them in the street...

SOMEBODY WHO SMILES AT YOU IN THE STREET? THAT RESTORES YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY?
Whenever someone does that to me I look at them and think "what the fuck is wrong with this invalid?

I am of course supposed to be revising for the exam I have on world history (gahhh!)

>World History
>study
Oh, peasants.
Well that's literally the end of her Livejournal. So I have to give you some credit, Devonshire Lass (ugh): you created this Livejournal seven months ago and you only have 25 entries. That's so much better than these assholes who created it two months ago and already have five million entries about absolutely nothing.
25 entries about nothing > five million about nothing. The rare instance where less is preferable.
Also for those keeping score at home:

As you can see Edie has moved an entire level from last I updated as well as several (two?) ranks of leatherworker and five whole ranks of gladiating. Unlisted: the eight ranks of sentinel that will shortly replacing mining. I should bang out that last 2000 or so SP to get another achievement for mining, though.