OK.

Sometimes when I'm looking for a blog I find one that isn't overtly offensive but I can tell by the way the cunt writes or some of the little things she puts in there that all I have to do is go back far enough and I'll hit the mother lode.
Also this blog starts with a master fic list so there's that.

ETA: Now with summaries! Gods help us. Don't let them put you off!

I hate it when people say "gods help us" like I doubt you're seriously that invested in some form of paganism so knock it off.

Hello, hello.

This is me, blinking up out of hibernation like a very grumpy bear. I feel a bit...weird, having so few things to post lately. It's unsettling. 

So I can skip this entry because you just admitted you have nothing to say--
why would I read this?
HEY GUYS
JUST ANOTHER BOOORING WEDNESDAY UPDATE MIGHT AS WELL SKIP IT!

Hello! Just thought i'd pop in, wave a bit.
*waves*

There is currently *so much* going on in fandom!

Has there ever been a start to a piece of writing that made you want to read it less?
I'm sure there's some intro to a pussy sensitivity paper I had to read that equals this but nothing immediately springs to mind.
That was more about long term abuse than the sucker punch.

I have so many tabs open and bookmarks and am subscribing to people left and right on AO3. Too much fic, not enough time!!

Again, is that a sentiment you can have?
SO MUCH FANFICTION TO READ!
Let me see.
I'm going to try fanfiction right now.
Surely there's a suitably manly category like Warhammer--

The powersword buzzed like a caged wasp as Kruger swung it desperately at the ork. He felt the blade shudder as it chopped into the greenskin's torso. It let out a scream of pain as it died. The immediate danger over, Kruger quickly looked to see how his squad was faring. One man was down, but the others had finished off their opponents. A group of orks lay where they had been cut down in hand to hand combat.
'Drake, see to the wounded,' Kruger barked over the comlink.
Almost immediately, the corporal's voice came back: 'He's dead, sergeant.'

Because space marines have corporals.
And a corporal would tend to the wounded.
Maybe the shitty chapter you invented for the sake of this awful fanfiction has corporals.
I'm willing to roll with that.
But I'm not willing to roll with this story through all 1,500 words of it.
I can't even begin to tell you how shitty the opening line is.
POWERSWORD (SIC) BUZZED LIKE A CAGED WASP.
What?

Christ, it's hot. Hot and humid and *horrible*. I have our ac set at eighty and it hasn't stopped running for *weeks*. Jayzus. How i loathe summer.

Anyway - lj is being weird for me still, not loading, half-loading, and making commenting a real chore, so my apologies to all and sundry, I have not been commenting like i'd like to. 

I challenge all of you to find a more appropriate reaction to this blog than this video.

School here starts the 18th of August and the whole mechanism is slowly gearing up to full speed. The Bebe needs clothes, and omg, she likes expensive clothes and/or stuff that ships from the UK. Jayzus. Let's go shop at the Hong Kong import site where most everything is three bucks, okay?
*clutches wallet*

You're old enough to have children in school?
What's happened?
I know this happens like every other blog  but it never ceases to give me pause for thought.
More than "oh that chick turned out to be a dude" or whatever.
It's when these cunts have nearly grown children.
When do you stop acting like this?
I guess never.

Just so people know - i am high on Show!Love, and have nothing but praise for Show. That being said, there are spoilers here for the very newest episode.

The show she's such a twat over she just calls Show.
So if you're curious for some reason good luck figuring that out.
THE ONLY SHOW ON TV.
Oh let's be basic here. What could it possibly be?
Dr. Who
Sherlock Holmes of some persuasion
What's that other shitty show?
Supernatural?
Yeah it's Supernatural, upon further research.
Fuck this gay earth.

I just realized something. I am a total asshat. Someone out there, some delightful person, made lovely pdf files of Wolfpack. And linked them to me, and worked very hard to make them pretty and *i*, in Senior Citizen moment of epic proportions, totally forgot to pimp them here, *or* to bookmark where the links are. Jayzus. God.

You didn't really need to explain why you were an asshat.
In fact if you had just posted that I would have taken it as a personal apology, to me, four years before this happened and I wouldn't have posted this.
But no, you had to go on.
There's a picture of you.
You're clearly in your late 30s-early 40s.
What the fuck is the matter with you?

Jesus *Christ*.

I hate LJ tonight, i really fucking do.

Tonight?
How do you not always hate Livejournal?
Sometimes I'll pause in my day and just think about how much I hate Livejournal.
I did it today in fact.
A kid asked me what day it was.
I said Wednesday.
I immediately thought of my own blog
then how much I hated Livejournal.
Then I gave a silent prayer to Ares for my ability to hate.

I'm not actually, by inclination or practice, xian.

A what?
xian?
Zee-ahn.
Kseean.
Oh of course it's Christian.
Xian.
Kill yourself I'm dead fucking serious.
Xian.
Waste my fucking time with that nonsense?
Write it out for fuck's sake.
Hallo.

Okay, so - here's the story. Cat wanted a PC game, so i got it for him for his b-day. One thing - it won't run on his system. It takes a video card that is uber, so...

I'm offering it here. It's called Gears of War. You need Windows Vista or XP, 2.4GHz Intel or 2.0GHz AMD, 1GB RAM, 12GB free hd space and an NVIDIA GeForce 6600 or ATI x700 vid card.

>Geforce 6600
>uber
What--
oh this is 2007.
All right.
What did I have in 2007?
Like a 6500 I think.
GTX 670 now yeah baby.
It can run EVE Online on ultra max.
Then again so can a toaster but whatever.
Speaking of EVE Online my EVE Online character is currently hated by an unknown faction.
Is that cause for concern?
"An unknown faction wants you dead."
Anyway fuck blogs
fuck the internet
fuck the police