Stop posting plz

I only read the first post of this but I know it'll be good.

All right, now that we've sufficiently established that I was home with an ear infection the day they covered "use your words" in kindergarten: DOES anyone know any useful strategies for coping with genderswap AUs involving six million metric fucktons of knock-on changes?

Specifically, the part where I don't know which metric fuckton I am currently failing to comprehend, but I know there is one, because I'm completely at a loss for which direction to go in?

 AUs what?
What the fuck are you talking about?
After much searching and outright guess work (Acronym Finder was no help) I figured out it means "alternate universe".
So thanks for that one.
A gender swap AU. The only AU I want to visit is the one where I have the power to telekinetically punch people in the mouths through the internet.
Unless there's an AU where I'm banging all the members of Girl's Generation. In which case I want to live in that one.

True or false: repetitive, vociferous, ongoing wailing and gnashing of teeth about being completely infuckingcapable of working out a writing problem the size of Cincinnati is a clear and unambiguous signal that one really, really, really needs someone to ask what the difficulty is and thereby force one to talk it out one piece at a time.

Which one cannot do inside one's head because one can't see where the logical gaps are, or in fact think very clearly about any one aspect, without breaking it down piece-by-piece and explaining it.

Or have I managed to be at a 90-degree angle to normal human communication again?

Shut the fuck up. Jesus.
I really hate it when people try to act really zany and genius at the same time.
Like all right I get it you're fucking Einstein with fanfiction.
And that'll launch into a totally awesome career as a real writer because you can just publish Dr. Who gay sex fanfic with no legal troubles.

/sighs.

For reasons I can't quite pin down, my sense of identity has gone weird lately.

I mean, it's to the point where I'm only really sure about things like "I hate eggplant," "I like Matthew Good Band," and "I cry at the end of 'Fire Watch.'" (Which doesn't even count, because that's what the end of "Fire Watch" is for.)

That is simply not enough to form the foundation of a coherent identity.

Being a cunt seems to be a strong recurring theme.
Maybe that's the foundation of your personality.

1. I have realized why all the good smut in historical fiction is either m/m or Early Sarah Waters: pre-1960 birth control is the least erotic thing imaginable. OMG. /cries.

I'd tell you lot to slap me if I ever got into writing heterosexual sex in a fandom where that's an issue ever again, but let's face it: Peaky Blinders starts a week from today. Helen McCrory is in it. That would be a lot of slapping, to no purpose at all.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

2. New!store manager is showing every sign of being a sugar-cube counter of the first water. Because of this, and because he is also large, red-faced, and kind of confused-looking, he will hereinafter be known in these parts as Fred.

The assistant store manager will be known hereinafter as The Smiler.

Other cast members may include scatty!manager, shark!manager

Oh we're doing that thing with the exclamation points.
I remember one post I made a long time ago (the first time I saw that annoying shit) where I proposed that was a grammatical one off unique to that blog alone.
Man I wish I was right.

For the ten billionth time, I'm resolving to try and post more often about things that do not suck.

Well time to wipe this blog out because--
well--

I wrote 438 words tonight and I hate them all. No metric post; I don't deserve one.

SO DEEP

what the fuck is a metric post?

I've been doing this shit for half a decade now and I have no fucking idea what a metric post is.

 Oh thank god.

The S1 and S2-equivalents in girl!Freddie universe are different enough from each other to be two different stories. Or at least one really long one with enough of a split down the middle that I can write it in two parts.

You have no. idea. how much this simplifies things.

Do you ever just write about shit?
Like hey how are you doing
fine I went to work today kinda shit?
or does everything have to be this complicated shit with terms I don't understand and I'm not entirely convinced actually mean anything?

Dear God. I think I've actually forgotten how to write comedy.

Implying what?
You knew how to write comedy in the first fucking place?

Can you almost hear how douchey she sounds with those italics?
Like I just hear the worst white wahm voice ever in my head thanks to it.

Comment with a fic idea you don't think I would write, and I'll tell you how I would write it if I were going to.

Comments: 1.

Who in the fuck is that much of a masochist?

No no, let's be fair.

Maybe it's a comment telling her to fuck off.

Bel/Hector fluff in which none of the other four are even peripherally involved.

What the fuuuuuuuuuck

 On that note I'm going to bed.

I GOT SHIT TO DO.