Pollos

Gubment is shutting down but what the hell, whinging on Dreamwidth!
American confidence in its own administration erodes a little bit more but why not?
It's not like empires have ever crumbled because of a lack of confidence, am I right?
Am I right or what, Han China?
Rome?
Fuck.

I just feel like shit. I feel anti social and insecure and bitter. I've had a good past few days, but so much people. People people people. I just want to shut down for a bit, and it's not like I've even done anything worthwhile. I went to the fair, I had fun. I ate food. I went out to dinner with A, and we saw a movie that was interesting and smoked weed which turned out to be terrifying because I swore I was being torn from my body bit by bit for several minutes. Okay so that last part wasn't so fun, but none of this feels like it was fun even though I mostly enjoyed myself at the time. I hope it's not back. I hope there's not another leech on me. It feels like there is, but it could also be depression or general mental illness. 

But my job is unaffected by this government shutdown, at least.
If it weren't I wouldn't be going in.
Or maybe I'd scab up because of all the quitting teachers.
What would Machiavelli do?

J and I have been spending more time together. Some of it is amorous in nature, some not. I really want to fucking have sex again. The first time was nice, but it was more of an intimate liaison than particularly erotic, good for my heart but my body wanted more. That was about six weeks ago. I will admit, sending him my climaxes while he's tuned in tides me over, the intermingling of his energy with my sexual energy, but I still want more. I want to say I try not to complain but that's a goddamned lie, I'm as thirsty as a fish in a desert and boy do I tell E that. I know we have so much potential for tension and for our chemistry to just go "BOOOOOM!", I know he's a kinky fucker, I can feel it. He's a snake, how can he NOT be kinky? [If you read this Sareth, congrats, you probably know who he is now.] And he just oooozes darkness..

What the actual fuck am I reading?

but, he's got a war to worry about. What part he plays, I don't know. What part I'll play I don't know. Readings don't seem to tell me much, except I'm not on a battlefield, and that my role is unorthodox and possibly out of my element. I'm hoping that once I get involved, we'll get to spend more time together. I want to see him in action, to tear others apart, whether that be with wit or strength. 

So we're fighting a war or fucking--
Possibly both?

Anyways, he's so gentle and sweet and I love him. I don't consider myself really single anymore, it's strange but I can't really say otherwise. "oh hey mom yeah wanna meet my boyfriend the giant snake?" Pssssh. I haven't even introduced him to my closest friends, except E, but that's because she's pagan too.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?
This is no form of Paganism I know.
The kind of Paganism I know is all about the fury of Peleus and being manly and shit.
Not fucking giant snakes and whining.
Well maybe some whining if you're Achilles but otherwise it's nothing but being cool as hell.
Being cool is virtually a commandment in Paganism.

I don't even like using the term boyfriend for him, it's too casual. He's my beau, my paramour, or "the babe" [I don't think he likes that much, ruffles his feathers so to speak].

Agh this wasn't supposed to be about him. >.< But, I don't really have much else to report. Anything notable that's gone on -other than purging the thing, and my fear of depression- regards him. He's just becoming a more prominent part of my life I spose, bit by bit.

Keeping it cas'.
Always critical in a relationship.
If I read this I'd turn 360 degrees and walk the fuck away from you.

I did my first demon related thing, I'm so excited!

It was a simple deal, for protection. They seemed non Goetic, and masculine in nature.

Contact with warp entities.

Burn her.

This thing's sucking the life from me. It has been for years, using me as a host. And now, because I'm fighting back, it's sucking even harder. That's why I snapped earlier. That's why I woke up this morning aching, because it knew the bullets tied to my wrist were for it .

I need to get this over with. I'm scared, this isn't just some demon or pixie. This is something people don't even speak the name of, something I have to have a nick name for to lighten the mood.
J's been so kind, helping me, protecting me. I bet the reason it's never done anything serious is because of him. It's what I believe. He's so good to me, and I'm so scared of him sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve him. He's too good to be true.

Anyways, I have no specific date to do the thing with the bullets and to interact with The Turtle.

What the fuck am I reading?
This isn't Paganism. This is fucking mental illness.
Paganism is like an ancient ethnic religion.
Like what we now call Greek or Roman mythology.
Ancient Iranian mythology.
Stuff like that.
Odinism. That's Pagan.
The Mabinogion. That's Pagan.
This is just some fuck.
I know their beliefs weren't supplanted by Christianity which is why they got to keep their original names but had it happened Shintoism would be considered Pagan.
Buddhism maybe?
I debate that one.

Right now, I hate people. I'm angry, I'm sick of people's bullshit. I'm sick of attention whores, I'm sick of hypocrites, I'm sick of pretentious motherfuckers and those in love with their sorrow, those whom are comfortable with misery.  

So you're sick of yourself?
BOOOOOOM.

When I get like this, I want to destroy. I want to sink my teeth into something and feel it bleed, to taste blood on my tongue.

Praise Ares?
I don't know most Pagan traditions don't have demons and devils. That's more of a Christian invention.
I'm really curious about her bullshit beliefs now.

There's a goddess that's been hanging on the sidelines. At least, they feel like a goddess so that is what I will refer to them as for now. Before I met J, I knew of her and called her "Momma". She hasn't gone, she's been here as I've had my shenanigans, my ups and downs and pushing him aways, my eventual succumbing.  

Then there's this hubris.
In the myth cycles goddesses are concerned with what heroes are doing.
OH AND ALSO MENTALLY ILL BINTS WITH BLOGS.
Forgot that chapter of The Aeneid.
Aeneas went on to FOUND ROME and even then the gods didn't give him their full attention.
To say mortal affairs are chief of their concerns would be obviously mistaken by any myth cycle I know of.
Warhammer (as usual) has the interpretation of Paganism correct:
the eye of the gods turns for but a second when an especially great mortal rises.

I have been interested in Aphrodite and Lilith, but I know this isn't Lilith and it doesn't seem like Aphrodite. I'm left to wonder if they are from a culture I'm not as familiar with, perhaps Welsh or Kemetic. God forbid they're from a closed culture; tumblr will have my ass if it's so. 

You're building your philosophy of religion off of what tumblr tells you.
How's this one, wacko?
Don't worry about the gods being literal or not. They're an example for you to follow.
So you follow the example of Aphrodite and try not to be such a fucking cunt.
How's that?
Learn to exist with some dignity.

I try not to feel guilty, but if an entity from a supposedly closed culture approaches me and wants to work with me, I'm not going to say no solely because of the culture they're from. [I say supposed because I get really confused in a religious context as to which cultures are "okay" to worship from and which aren't, I need to do more research.]

Did you ever consider the different gods from different cultures might not be different entities as such?
Most cultures had a god of warfare, for instance, so one could reason that it's the same god just adapted to cultural needs.

In other news, I hate when people get offended by the dumbest things. I'm not referring to cultural appropriation or anything like that, this is completely different. But I'm talking to this gal who just got completely butthurt over her comment being ignored when someone was asking for advice.. and it just.. *facepalm* the person asking for advice didn't MEAN to ignore her, it's really obvious, and they apologized when this girl got upset, but now she's making a big deal over it because I said that her reaction was rude, and then she deleted her comments like a goddamned scumbag. I screen shotted it, just in case the admin of the group questions what's going on and the girl gets her panties in a bunch again. I mean, I really found it rude, she was making this person feel bad and they're really sweet, and goddamnit no one cares that you're in medical school, if you act like an actual middle schooler.

See this is what I mean. Pretend Zeus is literally in the room with you and don't type shit like that and post it on the internet because he'll smite you with fucking ball lightning for that shit.
Anyway I just hit the start of this blog so fuck it.
Gotta go to bed.
Teacher-vacancy class tomorrow.
My favorite class.
AKA it'll be a surprise when I get there!
Could be super duper honors English or it could be in school suspension!
He died like he lived:
rolling the dice.
That's what people will say about me.
Hopefully.

Oh my God help

Things I do not care about:
shitty fanfiction
shitty original fiction
why you're mad at your friend because he may (or may not) have said something that hurt your feelings
your opinions on TV shows
not wanting to read any of those four things has left me without much in the way of blogs to review today.
Luckily I found this garbo. Time to play guess the gender!
One might think the name "Owlboy" would indicate a man but I'm ready to be surprised.
There is a fanfic master list so--

I love hearing writers talk about their process, especially when they're as obsessive about detail/know their subject as well as Steven Moffat, Bryan Fulller, or Dan Harmon.

Writers that say things like ''merrr, I don't want to affect the audience's perception, meeerr'' suck. Give me perspectives I couldn't have considered on my own or GO HOME.

CROSS POSTED ON LIVEJOURNAAAAAL thanks for that waste of my fucking time you pretentious faggot.

I feel like 500 metric tons of arse today, I hate travelling to the city for psych appointments and my rosary broke and BLEAH. 

Good.
I hope it's brain cancer.
No fuck the guy I hope it's brain cancer.
I know that probably makes me an edgy faggot but I don't care. My desire for his misfortune is greater than my need to not seem edgy.
A post about "Fetlife" which is a disturbingly common occurrence on Livejournal and Dreamwidth.
Fetlife, for those of you who venture outside once in a while and might even have a job, is a website where people can talk about fetishes with each other.
Usually revolving around a bondage or domination/submission thing.
How do I know about this?
Well the reason is simple.
I am a charter member.
No the reason is because it comes up constantly on these blogs.
So you know even if you are into domination I doubt seriously your interest extends as far as fat people who write My Little Pony fanfiction.
You're probably looking for a harem of brown girls.
Or is that just me?

No INTJ looks at a TV remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No INTJ can take a shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary. To the INTJ, the world is a toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

laughing out louds

INTJ is a personality type part of a personality matrix that is very popular for deep and edgy faggots on Livejournal because you take it and it makes you feel like you're a mastermind.
INTJ is probably the second most common result after INTF. INTJ for men, INTF for women.
I'd like to point out even if you genuinely are INTJ (which a cursory scan of this test tells you it is the rarest personality type and less than 1% of the population genuinely conforms to this standard) it doesn't actually indicate any ability with technology or even interest in technology.
So I think anyone who finds that amusing might not actually be a person like this.

Te = uses external structures to manage the inner world; seeks objective rules/laws; respects [earned] authority

Ni = Constantly trying to tear down established structures; finds all the exploitable holes in things; challenges authorities/prevailing wisdom by blurping out alternative perspectives/playing devil's advocate

the push/pull between these 2 things is how you get your standard bratty sub, I think - people [like me] who will dutifully do the housework and bring you your slippers, then spend the next 3 hours gleefully tormenting you to distraction

So typical white wahm, then?
Here he is~
It's at this point I'd like to mention that I call you a faggot because of what you say and how you act, not because of any sexual orientation you have.
Because, you know, clearly.

Deer Princess Celestia: today I assembled an entire camera from scratch because i'm a fricken genius, what what. Who needs friends when you have a soldering iron and a little ambition?

See?
My Little Pony shit.

Out:

Ministry for science
Ministry for climate change
Ministry for disabilities
Ministry for aged care
Ministry for higher education
Ministry for youth
Ministry for children
Ministry for workplace relations
Ministry for mental health

In:

Ministry for sport
Ministry for border protection
Ministry for ANZAC Day [SERIOUSLY?????/ IT'S ONE DAY A YEAR??? WHAT'S NEXT A MINISTRY FOR CHRISTMAS??/?]


Also there were 7 women in senior cabinet for the last 3-4 years. There is one now. :|

In:
Department of Economic Development.
Have you ever heard a more sinister name for something in your entire life?
Department of Assessment.
Departmento Munitorum.

God help I seem to have developed a fan club on Tumblr ?? ????

I'd stop using the internet if that happened.
I
I stopped writing this post for about an hour. I just left "I".
I wonder what I meant to say?
Well I certainly don't remember now.
Who am I?
What was I writing?
HELP ME

All who love life fear the reaper

Wahms being wahms
my generation's response to rage

is the title of this first entry.

The response is to whine about it on tumblr, incidentally.

there were on "street preachers" campus today. lunatics with signs (one of them was wearing a sandwich board, which I thought was adorable as I didn't know people actually did that) explaining our sins to us. Included such gems as "girls who aren't virgins deserve to be raped", "women should belong to a man", and "aids is god's punishment for gays." 

Sounds like a cool dude to me.

I held a sign that said "yay for gay" for a while. People cheered for his "testimony" of how he drank and smoked pot in fifth grade, calling him a badass child. apparently later people in blue body suits showed up later. 

later people showed up later.
Also this sounds like the mess that would be in my way when I was trying to walk to class.
Christers being annoying and annoying cunts around them trying to outdo each other being clever.

In the span of about an hour, I just murdered my baking dish and my garbage disposal.

Both of these things are my own fault, thus, "murdered".

I had a glass baking dish. Normally I know better to put it in cold water just after it came out of the oven. Tonight....Physics happened.

It exploded.

I cleaned it up as best I could, but wasn't sure what to do about the bits that had fallen down into the disposal. Figured, "what's the worst that can happen?" and flipped it on. 

>putting glass through the garbage disposal
WHY DID IT BREAK? ;_;

I just worked night shifts for like two weeks and haven't had time to turn on compy.

I'm a bit of a corpse, but only a little bit. I have been playing Megaman: Star Force, which is a very silly series of games but fun and I may or may not have scribbled bits of fic.

I had to listen to these two girls talk about Star Trek fanfiction today--
it was pretty dire.

New pokemon info is out! You can play as a black person if you want!

Well, light black. Possibly latino/latina. 

Preorder cancelled.

But still! That's way better than the pasty pale history of the game! And being able to chose the character that looks most like you is awesome!


It's a bit overdue. Having the non-white gym leader helped. But being able to *play* as one? That's an entirely different level of multiculturalism, and acknowledging the way both Japan and the world today works.

Better late than never. *squee*

Fucking women are going to ruin Pokemon now, aren't they?
WHY ONLY MALE AND FEMALE AND POKEMON OF INDETERMINATE GENDER?
WHY NOT TWIN SOUL POKEMON?

I got my first calc test back. Class average was 55.

I got 73. 78 with the curve. That is a solid b and I've been squeaking for about three hours. 

>grading on a curve
>78 is a B somehow
WELCOME TO EDUCATION IN AMERICA.
Here was me when I heard "grading on a curve"
One time I go a 117% on a test that was graded on a curve.
Small class, too, so after I dropped everyone else a letter grade I moon walked the fuck out.
In fact if a class was graded on a curve I'd work extra hard to ensure the highest grade was me and it was a 100% or better.
Fuck everyone not me.

Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)

WOW WHO CARES?

so. a thing. because i have a day off for the first time in a week and a half.

give me a character and i'll give you headcanon. sound good? 

20 comments.

so I have an interview tomorrow
for mcdonalds, but still. employment
will obviously tell you how it goes, and wish me luck!

...eeeeeeeeeeeeee

Fucking service jobs.
Bet it's SHIT.

Fuck, you have no idea how tired I am.

I'm sure I do.
Anyway I've run out of shit to say about this garbo.
Fuck.

Y-You too

I got a comment yesterday and I'm struggling to figure out what the fuck.
Did Dreamwidth become self aware?
Did someone who writes a blog I've reviewed stumble on this blog?
Is this the big time?
I don't know let's read this shit.

So I'm trying to write this funny piece called "How 2 Rite Gud", which would be (in my brain) a mocking piece about how writers get good at writing.

Things like "Don't have friends" and "Be awkward" and "Loathe normal human interaction" and "Write so obsessively that you don't have the energy for anything else."

But it's been done a million times before and I'm having trouble making it sound original. Or making it sound funny without being just sardonic. (Is that the word I'm looking for???)

HOW DO I BE FUNNY, INTERNET?
I READ A THOUSAND DR. WHO/SHERLOCK CROSSOVER FANFICS AND I COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT :_;

As I told Pat, it really sucks when what I want to say has been said a million times by people way smarter and funnier than me.

It's a subject I want to talk about, though. Being as I am in an Intro to Writing class, I get a lot of praise for my writing. (My teacher wants me to self-publish, but that's actually a whole SUPER BRAIN MELTY RANTY NOT WHEEE inducing thing for another post.) And a couple of them have asked me how I got so good at it.

I joke and say "I don't have a life. All I do is write and read." And that's largely true. Now I don't particularly WANT a "life" or at least the kind of life I want is....well, I don't know what I want. But something not particularly social.

I did tell them "practice." Lots and lots of practice. I've spent at least an hour everyday for the last 20 years writing.

Step 1: be older than 20.

That's a lot of hours. So I got better just by freaking doing it.

(That's the way people get good at anything, right?)

Real life is a lot like MMOs. Just pure grind.
If you can find the writing equivalent to killing vermin you'll be in your end game gear in no time.

So it's a really nice compliment when people say I have a talent. And I do write WELL, at least in the TYPES of writing I do. 

Why is compliment in italics?
I'm not even being a dick about this, either. I'm genuinely trying to figure out why you'd want to stress that word.
Say that out loud. It just makes you sound whiny.

Last night David and I got into the most ridiculous argument we've had yet. We argued about the definition of protagonist. For hours. It was very silly.

If only there was a device connected to a network of information that could maybe provide the definition of words.
Also maybe if the word broke down into old Greek words that had direct meanings.
Like I dunno maybe Protos and agonistes?
agonistes, meaning actor, and protos, meaning first in importance?
So the main fucking character?
Those words have accents on them, incidentally, but fuck that noise.

It started with my disparaging remark about the Final Fantasy series not having a female protagonist. (At least the main series.) David replied that since one can switch party members to sometimes move and control a female character that Final Fantasy 12 did, indeed, have one. 

Yeah you're right.
Final Fantasy has never had a female protagonist.
Not one. 
I'm not counting FF13 because that game doesn't exist.
FF6 had two so what the fuck do you want?
And I'm sure you're about to argue that was actually Locke's story but fuck you that's not true and you are provably wrong if you think it.

I argued that simply because one can play a female (and in the case of FF12, only peripherally) does not mean she's the main character.

He agreed that video games need stronger female characters and more female main characters. He just said that the Final Fantasy series were not one of them.

In the case of FF12, the main conflict that needs resolving is restoring a lost princess to the throne. But stories that hinge on the plight of a woman - as many video games and most of the FF series does - does not a female protagonist make. It simply makes them the conflict in which the male characters solve.  

"Terra was exactly what a maturing Final Fantasy series needed: a three-dimensional protagonist who is not a natural-born leader, but rather acquires compassion, focus and a genuine desire to make the world a better place as the game progresses."
Oh shit I'm sorry just reading words about stuff.

In the case of FF12, the main conflict that needs resolving is restoring a lost princess to the throne. But stories that hinge on the plight of a woman - as many video games and most of the FF series does - does not a female protagonist make. It simply makes them the conflict in which the male characters solve.

We argued about ensemble casts. We argued about whether or not large parties involve a protagonist at all. We argued about whether or not Luke was the protagonist in Star Wars, for Christ's sake. (He is and I was astounded that anyone would say differently.) We argued and argued and argued until finally both of us, irritated to no end, said "I'm tired of this. Let's talk about something else."

Well if you include the prequels as Star Wars (I don't but most people acknowledge they exist) then the protagonist of the 6 Star Wars movies is Darth Vader.
Which creates narrative issues all its own but whatever.
I mean Luke Skywalker wasn't even in the first two prequels and he's a baby in 3.
He's like a dumbass kid in 4 who doesn't even do anything--
Obiwan is the one who battles Vader in 4 and rescues the Princess, really.
Luke is the hero in the last two.
He is the protagonist in the original three movies but if we're taking the six as a continuous narrative then he's only a serious player in two of them.
Anakin is a kid in the first prequel so--
really the first movie doesn't have a protagonist because the writing sucks too hard.
Look Star Wars is a really bad example.
My point is Terra and Celes are the protagonists of Final Fantasy 6 and Lightning is the protagonist of Final Fantasy 13 and you're a dumb bitch who doesn't know shit about video games.

I played through the scene that I'd been putting off in ME3, where one of the characters die. I'd thought it was a fixed point in time. Turns out, with some fancy footwork in the second game and being a complete, soulless bastard in the third game, you can have that character live. Others have to die, though.

No one cares about Mass Effect.

Everytime I go back far enough into my tags, I'm amazed at how I thought I knew things. I'm amazed at how much shit I thought I'd figured out. I totally hadn't. I hadn't and I didn't figure that out until just the last few years.

Now she's an expert and so worldly.
And an expert writer.
Who doesn't know "every time" is two words.
Maybe I'm being unfair and that's a typo.

Arrrgh. I just recognized a tense disagreement (like, time tenses) in my paper. The paper I JUST submitted to the teacher and cannot take back.

MASTER WRITER WHO SHOULD PUBLISH
CAN'T GET HER TENSES DOWN.
I know a lot of writers aren't grammarians and let the story go and have someone punch it up but I really don't get that.
This shit isn't open to debate. Grammar isn't the story. It's just the tool to tell the story. Get it right for fuck's sake.

I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to convey my stay at Desert Hills as a fucked up, mental-loonball teenager using cutesy kid pictures (since that's about all they have.)

Since she'd given us free reign to use as many paragraphs as we wanted, I wound up with 1 and 1/3 pages. (Double spaced.) I originally had 4 pages. (Double spaced.)

That much revision makes me weep. Okay, I don't actually cry, but being a journaler, it sucks in a big way to have to cut out so much description. I like describing things. It just feels and sounds right. And as a writer you rely on things sounding right. It's part of flow. It's part of developing and trusting your own writing voice.

Too bad you're just fucking jerking off.
Learn what vision means, Jesus.

It's just not that great for academia. (Which wants you to sound rote and mechanical because HELLO, smart people aren't all like "let's write human feeling stuff!)

Seriously, I just get so annoyed. My decades of writing experience turns out to be a disadvantage. It ACTUALLY, TOTALLY GETS IN THE WAY.

What the fuck did you expect?
Did your writing professor ever publish a book anyone has read?
Get your teaching license, be miserable, feed off the experience and then write.
This isn't rocket science.

The problem is how much detail to use. I mean, if I really wanted to, I could convey the entire paper in three sentences. "I experienced the hell that is physical restraint while in the juvenile system. For lots of kids that prompts PTSD flashbacks. You can sometimes avoid that if you learn the patients history."

But that's not enough detail. So I go in and add more and it's usually too much and so I have to cut some out. And then some of the other descriptions don't make any sense so I have to reword them. It's like "Can't I just write a story? Like, a REAL REAL story????"

Balancing acts suuuuuck.

Show, don't tell.
I mean seriously this is shit I tell 9th grade babies in creative writing classes.
Are you sure you're a master writer?
The reason high school kids are great to explain this shit to as opposed to cunts like you is if I said any of this shit you'd be offended but when a high school kid says "why do my characters seem so shit?" I can honestly tell them it's because they're 15 and they probably (hopefully) don't have a well rounded life experience yet and if they keep at it they'll get better but it's important to not be too discouraged now.
And they need to focus on that, really. Focus on being frustrated and impatient because you're 15. That's an emotion you'll convey later in life too and if you focus it now you can do it successfully in the future.

We did go over commas yesterday. I needed that. I feel as if I have a better grasp of where and when they need to be applied.

Well don't read my blog because I never use commas correctly.
I think you'll see I never have one misplaced, though. I just often omit them when they are needed.
Motherfuckers mess commas up a lot. If the dependent clause is first you need that shit. If the independent is first you can tell that comma to fuck off.
Also schools like to jerk off about conjunctions and commas but usually also unnecessary. If it's a long coordinating clause you need it but if the dependent clause is really short you just look like an asshole.
I think you find that's where this blog stretches the lack of a comma.

The class writing prompt today was "Tell me about a time when you solved a problem at work by yourself."

Motherfucker thought it'd be funny to blow my mining barge up in EVE Online.
He won't be making that mistake again.

David wants me to go with him while he sits his sister and her husband down to discuss the shambles of their marriage and how to properly communicate. Against all better judgement, I said I'd go.

This is going to turn out so badly. I am telling him this. I am telling him all the ways it will go badly. We are not marriage counselers. . But what the hell, it's at least going to be a spectacular train wreck.

I might not go. Probably wont, since it would be a mess. 

So you have the opportunity to observe human misery of that magnitude first hand and you're choosing not to?
This is why you will always be an awful writer.
All of the best creators tend not to be happy people.
I wouldn't describe them as all miserable but they're not happy-go-lucky, usually.
Why?
Because they know something that haunts them.
It could be anything, really. Something they saw and wish they hadn't but more generally I think it is the subtle and nagging perception that the creator is different from the people around him or that the world is off in some indescribable way.
Usually both.
And it is, like the movie The Matrix says, like a splinter in your brain that you cannot remove that drives you mad.
It's statements like that that make good writing. It's statements like that you can't just learn how to make. You have to experience shit to know what that's like to even think it.
 Anyway fuck blogs.

Words

I was going to update Monday but some shit came up and then I had to go to bed because Tuesday I had to teach maybe the worst class I've had since I was student teaching--
but no matter because today is a new day.
And this is me coming off saying I'd stick to the schedule more--
look things have been crazy.
The schedule will be righted soon.

Me: *stares at thesis*

Thesis: *stares back*

Me: You know, this would go so much more easily if you'd just co-operate a little.

Thesis: *no response*

Me: I mean, I'm doing the best I can, here. I give you plenty of attention even when I feel utterly miserable. I spend most of my waking hours worrying about you. My life has come to revolve around your needs. I only want what's best for you.

Thesis: *silence*

Me: I just feel you should contribute a little more to this relationship, is all I'm saying. Don't you think that's only fair?

Thesis: *stares*

Thesis: *no response*

Me: ...Okay, then. I'm glad we had this talk.

BUT NOT AS CRAZY AS THIS WRITING HUE HUA HUE HUA HUE

Normally, I get distracted by books whose narrative arc ends in triumph. Pick up and read, carried along by prose and arc until the denouement returns me to myself and I realise how much time has passed: until the moment of triumph brings me back to all the work I should have done.

Delbo's tripartite memoir allows of no such literary catharsis.

All right I get it you go to college.
I know what all those words mean and that doesn't keep me from calling you a cunt.
I'm trying to decide the biggest offender here.
I'm sure most people reading this will argue "denouement" but that's a serious literary term with a (very) subtly different meaning from "reveal" so I'm going to cut that one some slack--
"catharsis" is like an emotional cleansing that comes after serious tragedy in a story where you just feel emotionally drained afterwards. Not a common term but again it fits with the serious literary terms so if you're reading literary-minded stuff then you'll run into it.
Probably the worst word is "tripartite" in my opinion.
You can probably guess the meaning which is always a kicker for big words. "Tri" meaning three so of course it just means "something in three parts".
Like you could just say that. "Delbo's three part memoir" and it would have exactly the same meaning but no, tripartite.

I bought Auschwitz and After once I had read Elizabeth Wein's novel Rose Under Fire, spurred by a half-remembered fragment of prose - and by the realisation that it had been years since I read an account of the enormity of suffering that is fast passing out of living memory. "Try to look," Delbo writes. "Just try and see."

A corpse. The left eye devoured by a rat. The other open with its fringe of lashes.

Try to look. Just try and see.

There is no bearing witness to horror that seems ghoulish now but was everyday reality for tens - hundreds - of thousands as they died. All that can be done to honour those dead is to hold the words of the survivors a while longer.

To try and see, and remember.

She keeps spelling shit the British way but I'm betting money she's American.

Not one of us will return is the title of the first part of Delbo's memoir. Stark. That's one word for it. Vignettes and poems. Snapshots and images, their bleak brutality transmuted by Delbo's pen into a lasting literary testament that nonetheless bears a searing kind of beauty.

Delbo finishes one such vignette with, "And now I am sitting in a café, writing this text."

One has the sense that no real return is possible.

I know one thing that'll return: this piece of shit book to where I got it from.
BUUUUUUURN.

I've never been a light person. It comes of being about 5'9 and 22-24 inches across at the shoulder. My lightest adult weight, before I left school, at my fittest, was 85kg. I didn't mind, as an undergraduate, weighing in at 95kg-98kg (that's 209-216 imperial lbs, approximately, American friends) while I was climbing and running: I'd never win any slenderness competitions, but I didn't feel uncomfortably bloated, except occasionally. 

Let's cover British hypocrisy for a moment. Things I've heard Britfags say (even if they're trolling):
Americans have a retard rollercoaster of a weight system! Who still uses pounds!?
>England's main form of weighing people is a fucking stone
Also our form of measurement is called Imperial standard.
>Not using imperial measurements
>being this plebeian

But the rest of my life is still made of emotional rollercoaster. I have a thesis to write. My grandmother's still dying. My mother is still on sickleave. The household finances are still not in the Happy Place. I have no local friends right now to see in person. I feel guilty about taking time away from work for hobbies - like climbing or martial arts, where I might see other people. My energy levels are nowhere near where they were even in my final year of undergrad. And when my thesis is finished, if I live so long, I have to contemplate What Happens Next.

I can't keep gaining weight. It makes me even more self-disgusted than I am already.

But changing or stopping the dosage of escitalopram is another giant worry. I don't like depressed mood and suicidal ideations, and for me they're less serious with escitalopram than without.



This, on top of everything else. I cannot handle my shit right now. I do not know what to do. And I am in a mood lately wherein I want to say hurtful things to everyone who was ever kind to me, and then crawl off in a corner and cry until the world explodes.

Mental illness is fucking annoying. The worst part? Right now, I can't even laugh at myself.

Imagine if you had real problems.
That usually grounds me.
Like the second I left the school yesterday my first thought was "holy shit" followed closely by "today could have been everything it was but I could have been square in the middle of North Korea."
I'm not even trying to pull a liberal social justice warrior move and try to say your suffering isn't significant because some tribe you've never heard of in Africa is starving, either. I'm just saying whatever problems you have could be a thousand times worse.
So just try not to whine too much because there might be a time where you look back and miss it.

11:00 Sun - Tivoli - Ageism in Genre

Its nearly always the plucky young hero.

>nearly always a plucky young hero
I don't know what genre but certainly not any genre that matters.
I mean the Odyssey stars Odysseus, who has a nearly fully grown son at the start.
Also Odysseus is a war veteran.
So plucky and young?
Dante starts his poem by saying he's halfway through life (he was 35 but let's face it by middle age standards [his standards] he was middle age) and is totally lost and has no fucking clue what he's doing with himself.
So plucky and young?
The Count of Monte Cristo is a case study in why being plucky and young is maybe the worst thing you can be.
So the three greatest books ever written provably do not feature plucky young heroes.
Hell, one of TV's most popular current TV shows, Breaking Bad, stars a 50 year old chemistry teacher who is so down on his luck I flash back to my own days as a student teacher square in the middle of one of the worst schools in NC.
I think fiction tends to feature characters that appeal to its target audience.
... Not sure why I felt the need to qualify that. Of course that's what writers do.
Only snowflake warriors disagree.

13:00 Sun - Tivoli - What Makes a Hero?
From the classics to modern fiction, how has the vision of heroism changed?

Well it has gotten worse. 
Before it was manliness, honor, cunning and skill that were venerated.
Now it's being a brooding, existential ladyboy.
Going back to my earlier Breaking Bad aside: people genuinely aren't sure if they should root for Walt, the main character.
Good or evil he has shown an incredible amount of skill, cunning and, yes, honor too so I think that's reason enough to root for him.
Sure he did a lot of evil shit but he's doing it all for his family's well being after he dies.
BUT OOOO HE KILLS PEOPLE AND MAKES METH.
That's what fucking happens.
You know if they paid teachers a decent salary none of this would have happened in the first place.
That's the major lesson I'm taking away from Breaking Bad.
The fact a guy with a college education in something really important who has given his life to teaching ungrateful assholes seriously considers methamphetamine production as a means to retire tells me there's something severely wrong with this country.
And you can't just say it's a TV show either because teachers in real life have gotten caught copying the show.
Oh right, blogs.

My gym session today included an interlude wherein I biled some milk from breakfast all over the weights I was using for chest fly. So that was pretty unpleasant.

...
So I started going to the gym recently--
Not an image I really wanted in my head, actually.

Books 2013: 59-61


59-60. Sandy Mitchell, Warhammer 40K: The Emperor's Finest and Warhammer 40K: The Last Ditch. Black Library, 2012 and 2013.

The Emperor's Finest is probably the weakest installment in Mitchell's Ciaphas Cain series, lacking the usual vibrancy and humour, and dogged by a very poor secondary character in the form of the lady aristocrat Mira. The Last Ditch makes up for this with rollicking battle action.

One of the things that strike me most about the Cain books is that, while never rising above the level of crunchy popcorn entertainment, Mitchell takes the (clichéd) darkness of the Warhammer 40K setting, acknowledges it, and then goes on to populate it with relatively well-adjusted, well-adapted people. With fully-developed senses of humour.

>Warhammer
>Cliche
AND ON THAT BOMBSHELL I AM GOING TO BED.
GOODBYE

Thanks?

I found this blog almost instantly.
While that saved me from having to read a lot of bullshit first entries I still found this fucking blog.

I don't know what prompted them, but I'm already tired of these Putin jokes.

I don't pay attention to politics. Partly cause it makes me angry that the world doesn't share my views (or really many people at all) and partly because there's no one in office representing my people that I know of.

What people would those be?
Douchebags?

Things I find silly about Twitter:

--People using twitter just to link some other site they use like The Book of Faces. You know, like the tweet is cut off and there's a link to Instagram, this or that.

--Tweets are very short, but some people's tweets are half (or more) hashtags.

--People that follow hundreds and admit they can't read much of what people post, but don't cut down.

--Constant vague tweets that have no meaning unless explained such as running commentary on a movie, yet there wasn't even a mentioning of watching one.

--Political satire tweets. :P

Cool list bro.
Incidentally I'm working off the assumption this is a man because his avatar is the Baldur's Gate logo.
There is no way a girl, not even an annoying grrrrrrl gamer (xP) would know that game.

I've lived with my mental illness so long that reading symptoms of it is kinda surprising because they're just normal for me.

Does that even make sense?

I was going to say something about this until I noticed I'm almost 20 entries into this mess and I'm only on September 11 of this year.
What the fuck is happening?
Who updates that much?
And what the fuck are you doing posting that you don't get Twitter?
You're treating your fucking blog like Twitter.

Pizza Hut tweeted that it's National Cheese Pizza Day! But TOMORROW is Chumcha Friday! What do I do?! D:

I seem to recall some other blog that did the retarded renaming of the days to nonsense--

Good Morning and Happy Thirstday!

OH GODDAMN IT IT'S THE SAME BLOG.
Fucking goddamn it.
I started this entry too late to start a new one--
nah fuck it phoning it in.
Enjoy your three paragraph update.

Stop posting plz

I only read the first post of this but I know it'll be good.

All right, now that we've sufficiently established that I was home with an ear infection the day they covered "use your words" in kindergarten: DOES anyone know any useful strategies for coping with genderswap AUs involving six million metric fucktons of knock-on changes?

Specifically, the part where I don't know which metric fuckton I am currently failing to comprehend, but I know there is one, because I'm completely at a loss for which direction to go in?

 AUs what?
What the fuck are you talking about?
After much searching and outright guess work (Acronym Finder was no help) I figured out it means "alternate universe".
So thanks for that one.
A gender swap AU. The only AU I want to visit is the one where I have the power to telekinetically punch people in the mouths through the internet.
Unless there's an AU where I'm banging all the members of Girl's Generation. In which case I want to live in that one.

True or false: repetitive, vociferous, ongoing wailing and gnashing of teeth about being completely infuckingcapable of working out a writing problem the size of Cincinnati is a clear and unambiguous signal that one really, really, really needs someone to ask what the difficulty is and thereby force one to talk it out one piece at a time.

Which one cannot do inside one's head because one can't see where the logical gaps are, or in fact think very clearly about any one aspect, without breaking it down piece-by-piece and explaining it.

Or have I managed to be at a 90-degree angle to normal human communication again?

Shut the fuck up. Jesus.
I really hate it when people try to act really zany and genius at the same time.
Like all right I get it you're fucking Einstein with fanfiction.
And that'll launch into a totally awesome career as a real writer because you can just publish Dr. Who gay sex fanfic with no legal troubles.

/sighs.

For reasons I can't quite pin down, my sense of identity has gone weird lately.

I mean, it's to the point where I'm only really sure about things like "I hate eggplant," "I like Matthew Good Band," and "I cry at the end of 'Fire Watch.'" (Which doesn't even count, because that's what the end of "Fire Watch" is for.)

That is simply not enough to form the foundation of a coherent identity.

Being a cunt seems to be a strong recurring theme.
Maybe that's the foundation of your personality.

1. I have realized why all the good smut in historical fiction is either m/m or Early Sarah Waters: pre-1960 birth control is the least erotic thing imaginable. OMG. /cries.

I'd tell you lot to slap me if I ever got into writing heterosexual sex in a fandom where that's an issue ever again, but let's face it: Peaky Blinders starts a week from today. Helen McCrory is in it. That would be a lot of slapping, to no purpose at all.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

2. New!store manager is showing every sign of being a sugar-cube counter of the first water. Because of this, and because he is also large, red-faced, and kind of confused-looking, he will hereinafter be known in these parts as Fred.

The assistant store manager will be known hereinafter as The Smiler.

Other cast members may include scatty!manager, shark!manager

Oh we're doing that thing with the exclamation points.
I remember one post I made a long time ago (the first time I saw that annoying shit) where I proposed that was a grammatical one off unique to that blog alone.
Man I wish I was right.

For the ten billionth time, I'm resolving to try and post more often about things that do not suck.

Well time to wipe this blog out because--
well--

I wrote 438 words tonight and I hate them all. No metric post; I don't deserve one.

SO DEEP

what the fuck is a metric post?

I've been doing this shit for half a decade now and I have no fucking idea what a metric post is.

 Oh thank god.

The S1 and S2-equivalents in girl!Freddie universe are different enough from each other to be two different stories. Or at least one really long one with enough of a split down the middle that I can write it in two parts.

You have no. idea. how much this simplifies things.

Do you ever just write about shit?
Like hey how are you doing
fine I went to work today kinda shit?
or does everything have to be this complicated shit with terms I don't understand and I'm not entirely convinced actually mean anything?

Dear God. I think I've actually forgotten how to write comedy.

Implying what?
You knew how to write comedy in the first fucking place?

Can you almost hear how douchey she sounds with those italics?
Like I just hear the worst white wahm voice ever in my head thanks to it.

Comment with a fic idea you don't think I would write, and I'll tell you how I would write it if I were going to.

Comments: 1.

Who in the fuck is that much of a masochist?

No no, let's be fair.

Maybe it's a comment telling her to fuck off.

Bel/Hector fluff in which none of the other four are even peripherally involved.

What the fuuuuuuuuuck

 On that note I'm going to bed.

I GOT SHIT TO DO.

Don't be sorry

Jesus Christ updating schedule all fucked up due to moving out and work and I don't even know what day it is anymore.
I'll get back on schedule.
Someone added this comment on the 3rd of this month (of this year):

In the alternate universe where Buddy Holly ended up the day the music died, the Crickets were better than the Beatles. I'm not sorry.

On an entry four years old so someone is digging through the archive.
The Scroll of Honor
The Lion Censorum.
 Anyway you don't gotta be sorry like that.
Everyone with any sense knows what The Beatles did for music would have happened anyway and they were just right place at the right time.
I like The Beatles, too, but goddamn people need to get over it.
Anyway fucking this person.

There really isn't much of anything better I can do to make myself feel as feminine as possible than for me to go to the gym and throw my body weight around. I mean that - I can clean and jerk a little more than half my bodyweight, snatch just under half, squat it, and deadlift slightly more. Pretty much anything I do that involves me picking up something heavy and moving it around leaves me tired, sweaty, and feeling like a duchess. It's something I'm actively trying to cultivate, especially on powerlifting days.

Are these words arranged in a coherent thought?
Makes you feel like a duchess, what?
What the fuck are you talking about?

I know a decent chunk of why is because it's pretty common for me to look around and realize I'm the only girl around - lifting freeweights, using a squat platform, on this whole floor of the gym. When I'm outnumbered like that, it's hard to forget about things like gender.

Literally no one is paying attention.

The simple proximity of finishing Bioshock and then going onto read some of the Vorkosigan saga made me realize two things: Jackson’s Whole is basically a planet-sized Rapture, and even though a crossover would be easy enough to pull off and amazing and fabulous and work to comment on aspects of both canons simultaneously, I don’t have the time right now.

Original thoughts?
HUH HUH NOPE NOT ME.

 One of the few side benefits of getting sick - again - is that it lessens any other bad news I get. Like not getting the job for which I interviewed last week. I'd mind more if I could breathe properly, or if I hadn't gotten almost nine hours of sleep last night. It's a bit of a protective cocoon. Much as I'd have loved the work, and much as I deeply hoped for it - it's hard to be torn up or deeply disappointed. At least I have that going for me today.

Jesus Christ.
I guess being sick does one thing for me--
SHELTERS ME FROM THE PAIN OF DISAPPOINTMENT ;_;
like fuck off seriously what's wrong with you?

Yesterday, as soon as I got back from the job interview, I placed an order at Adagio Tea. It'll arrive tomorrow, but I won't open it until after I hear about the end results of the interview.

I'd like to open it in celebration. If I have to open it in compensation, well, there's tea inside. And I'll make myself a cup, and resolve to keep going until I get to where I'd like to be.

Is there a douchier way to make a statement of resolve ever?
I mean goddamn.
Failing a mission in Dawn of War 2-- a video game-- has way more gravity than what you just wrote.
I'll just make tea and resolve myself to HURRRRR dry your cunt, Jesus.
In Dawn of War 2 you fail a mission and it says shit like YOUR BROTHERS DIE
SEE THAT THEIR DEATH IS NOT IN VAIN and you say "oh right then gotta step up my game then. Thanks, Space Marines."

It's one of the rules of the universe that any day with bread in it is a day well spent. Last night, and the three before that, didn't involve any good sleep - last night did, but only after getting back up after lying there for almost forty minutes, spending some more time online, and sleeping in until ten, which in turn resulted in me not getting anything of value done until three. Going to the gym, and sending in a few applications, only went so far to make me think I'd done something with my day.

Hence, the bread. And by all measures, it's going to be good.

I need go get back to writing something soon, as well. Long-term projects are good for helping me stay on my feet and moving forward.

Hence, a book request.

HENCE A SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BELLIGERENT CUNT.
Jesus Christ did you read that shit?
What the fuck was that about?
Oh a day with bread is a day well spent oh I'm so deep and pretentious.
There you have it. Bread, a paleolithic invention, makes the day good.
There hasn't been a bad day in over 20,000 years.

The only good thing to waking up at five in the morning on Sunday from absolutely vicious period cramps was realizing I had enough time to watch the fourth season of Arrested Development before any spoilers hit. The last twenty minutes of the last episode were the hardest in that regard. It's very much not a show I can watch casually - it's not designed that way, and in my case, it's the only way I can stomach a lot of it. The aggressive ignorance and willful blindness to reality gets under my skin and makes it hard to want to go back to watching, unless I'm trying to finish up the current season.

How about you don't fucking watch it, then?

It sounds like you don't like it.

I've seen and interacted with so many people online that outright, up-front, describe themselves as hostile, angry, annoying, spiteful, nasty, childish, spoiled, whiny, unpleasant to be around, generally pissed off, or some combination thereof, that when I see someone label themselves as insufferable or something similar, I won't know it's a joke. I'm too used to people being up-front about these things - with the internet being a reasonably safe space to mention it right off the bat - that I take it at face value, and immediately slot the person in as they've so labeled themselves.

You're pretty douchey, lady, do you mention that?

So I'm getting a tax return.

No one cares.
Fuck it I'm going to bed.

Oh shit

I thought Monday was Sunday so I missed that update.
Thanks Obama.
So this is some teacher's blog--
because, you know, dealing with asshole 9th graders (they're not people until after Christmas) all day and I didn't get my fill of school drama.

 They've pushed us back again.  We're NOT going to work tomorrow. Again.  Still.

I can't WAIT to see how much of our fall/winter/spring break and various holidays they're going to end up taking from us as compensation.

This is so much fun!

Fucking idiots.

WEY HEY HUE HUE HUA HUE

I seriously sent our staff into a tizzy today because I had the gall to ask, "So last year the head of the network came to one of our meetings and said, 'for every day the construction company was late delivering the building, we cut $10,000 off what we're paying them.'  We're several days late already, so what are they doing with that money?"  Believe me, we had a few ideas for how we could put it to good use.  Co-teacher AP and I want SmartBoards in a huge way. ;)  Basically we were told that since campuses 7 and 8 are in our building too, that the money would be used to pay down the deficit any campus runs at until they're at full capacity.

Fuck that.  I want a SmartBoard. :p

OH AND!  My room loses six feet off the back for a storage closet.  That I don't actually get to use.  So my room is smaller than any other.Fuck that too.

Lol smartboards. What a racket.
"Can I use the smartboard?"
"NO YOU'RE NOT TRAINED TO USE IT."
It's a fucking computer. What's the worst that could happen?
And so no one uses it because of that.
No one is trained to use the incredibly simple point and click interface.

my printer ran out of yellow ink half way through a 30 page color document.  Changing the ink cartridges in my printer is a PAIN IN THE ASS, since I can't reach up to see what the fuck I'm doing and I have to climb on furniture like a damn acrobat.

OH MY GOD TEACHING RIGHT

Okay, all *I* may need is my ferrets, my Mac and fanfic, but my students need iPads. We have the most dilapidated, old, junky netbooks in the world. And as a charter school, my kids are not any part of that CPS iPad program.

They need iPads?
Can't they use a pencil and a paper?

I got the most adorable lecture today.  I was alone in my room while my middle schoolers were in gym.  A first grader was given the task of bringing myself and my co-teacher some of the extra Italian Ices from her class'  party that they won for having the most 'caught being good' awards.

 

I congratulated her on her grade being so good that they won the award and she asked me if my students won.  I said, "No, the sixth graders didn't win.  They talk too much."

 

I was told, in an incredibly authoritative voice, "You have to *make* them not talk."

You're kinda talking down to her with "most adorable" but she's pretty much right.

Better watch yourself. She'll have your job in a few years.

I didn't get hired by the middle school principal.  Apparently almost no one already in-network did.

Yeah I know tell me about it.

The school that was dead serious about hiring me didn't even call me back.
Then the one that was ehhh on the fence called me the minute after I submitted my application for an interview.

I didn't get that either but at least I interviewed.

Fucking schools, man.

They're like white wahms. No telling how shit goes.

Logi's got 6 to 8 months left, even with the new, $100/month, human medicine he's on.  He crashes almost daily now.

Time to let the dog go, lady.

Let the animal expire with some dignity.

He probably came from a long line of warhounds or something. 

In fact time for our weekly "this is how kickass Julius Caesar was" lesson.

As Caesar said: you don't die when your life expires. You die when you're forgotten.

And Caesar was so kick ass even his dog is remembered.

Caesar's dog's name?
Negris Alto.

Which is Latin for, I am not even joking, brown girl.

Caesar knew what was up 2040 years before I did.

That's why I never understood in world history when we were reading about Romans and the second he died they deified him and called him Deus Caesar the Christer girl was all "I don't understand how they can worship a man" and the reason should be pretty obvious.

How many guys aspire to be 1% as baller?

So I'm really starting to think that, for sheer entertainment value, there's little as amusing as watching 11 and 12 year olds take sex ed.  From professional people who teach this stuff who aren't me.  I just sit there and say "[student], grow up.  Now."  A lot.  

Yeah I had to sit through that when I spent a week at a middle school.

TEE HEE DICK

"aww come on bro no girl wants a guy that giggles over the word penis"

no more problems after that.

Which is total bullshit because I'm 25 and make giant dick jokes nonstop but he doesn't need to know that.

Co-teacher's classroom management has been *rapidly* spiraling down to ... I don't know, can we give negative scores?  She actually interrupted my social studies lesson today to ask me what to do because one of the girls yelled out, "[Boy-Child-W] is not a girl!"  She was completely and utterly unable to explain to me why A would say this, why pointing out that boy in the class was not a girl was such a major issue that she had to disrupt me, how DC figured into any of this and why it put W into tears.

I had to trot out the old commissar routine today with this one asshole class.
ALL RIGHT YOU'RE ALL YELLING AND NOT WORKING SO WHO IS GOING TO BE MY SACRIFICIAL LAMB TO GO OUT OF THE ROOM (big shit)?

I WANTED TO BE THE NICE GUY BUT YOU GUYS WANT TO GO CRAZY?
LET'S GO NUTS.

And you have to phrase shit like that because they don't understand what being civil means.

It didn't work that well, frankly.

There's like a 50/50 shot and I usually don't like to let things spiral that far out of control but substitute, 9th grade, second week of school, teacher hasn't been back since the long break--

fuck it it's a miracle no one died.

 So we're reading a book in class today wherein a character who is very, very quiet and has been abused, so is very skiddish and such, jumps up and does something heroic.

When we get done with read aloud we have something called a 'thumbs up' discussion.  When I get done reading the kids who have something to say put their thumbs up, I call on someone, they speak and then they call on someone who has their thumb up, etc... I can sit back and let them talk to each other about the book.

Yeah this is real life. Kids never learned how to raise their hands.

I'm not even kidding. This is the reality of schooling in 2013.

Weirdest Day Ever.

Let's compare my weirdest day ever teaching with your weirdest day ever teaching.

We're discussing Harrison Burgeron (the Vonnegot story) today and breaking down why the dancers would have to wear bags of birdshot and masks.  I ask 'What kind of people do we usually see as dancers?"

Answer?

"Strippers!"

*SIGH*  Welcome to middle school.

I had a kid come in high on PCP and start lobbing desks at the wall.
That's not even the weirdest shit.

It's been bugging me for several weeks that there's been a local political ad where someone thought they were being clever, but instead were just showing off that they don't listen to what they say.  The ad ended with:

"[Political Candidate] won't show us his tax returns while raising yours."

And I'm not being coy about whose ad it is - I honestly don't remember.  All I walked away with was, "You want to take my 1040 and hold it over your head... what???"

Actually if we're talking about it from a purely split infinitive standpoint it's saying he won't show you his taxes while he's raising yours over his head.
Any other time is fine, presumably.

My cousins and me were at the park with my uncle.  He told us we had to stay together.

"Yes Uncle!"  We all said that in a unicycle.  Then we went to look at the flower house.




I'm going to crack up every time I see that kid tomorrow.

0/10 get the fuck out of my classroom
you're fucking expelled.
Anyway fuck blogs I got shit to do.